Chapter Confessions

Joshua had a terrible headache. One eye was swollen shut, and bruises covered his body. As he got up, he understood how a steak felt after spending some time with a meat tenderizer. Despite the pain and fatigue, quitting wasn’t an option. They had to keep moving, no matter what.

He went outside to find Annabell drawing patterns in the ash from the fireplace. She looked up as he approached, but she didn’t greet him. The sour look on her face could have curdled milk, and she wouldn’t meet his eyes.

Standing up and brushing the dust from her pants she went over to the bags she had packed. Joshua noticed that she hadn’t touched his blue bag. A sturdy duffel he didn’t recognize, and a satchel was laying next it. Taking the duffel bag on her own back, she tossed satchel to Joshua. He fumbled by getting a hold, but still caught it. Without a word, Annabell turned and walked away, Joshua scrambled to get his bag and catch up.

They traveled in silence. Every so often Joshua grunted when a movement tweaked one of his injuries. He had noticed that Annabell’s hands were nearly healed, only a small scar left to indicate she’d even been involved. Her healing abilities hadn’t been a secret to him, but to see them in action still unnerved him a bit—if not a bit envious. The fact she hadn’t said a word about it, though, began to irritate him.

“So …” Joshua said to break the silence. Annabell glanced at him with raised eyebrows.

“You want to talk about it?” he continued and looked down.

“Not particularly, no,” Annabell said, quickening the pace. Joshua caught her shoulder and swung her around to face him.

“We have to talk about this.” The words came out harsher than he had meant them to.

“No, we do not have to talk about anything. I don’t want to talk about it, so can we please just leave it?” Annabell snapped, turning away.

Joshua watched her back for several seconds and sighed. Forcing his frustration down, he tried again. “How did your hands heal so fast?” he asked out loud, and she stopped stop cold in her tracks. Slowly, Joshua walked to Annabell.

She stared at the ground, shaking slightly. “Shouldn’t you be the one to answer that? You’re the one who says I have a fate and such.” Annabell sneered, her eyes still stuck on the ground.

“Actually, I’ve been meaning to tell you something for some time now…” Joshua started, but hesitated for a moment. He knew he ran the risk of shutting her off from him entirely if she took him wrong, but it wasn’t fair to keep quiet any more. The longer he kept quiet, the more upset she probably would be later.

“But, I need to know what happened back there first.” Joshua sighed. He tried to hide the fact that his stomach was twisting into a thousand knots. At least his voice hadn’t quivered.

“You were there. I don’t know what happened back there, at least not any more than you do. Besides, I thought you were the one with all the answers,” Annabell said in a low voice.

Carefully, Joshua circled around her. He knelt down a little, trying to see her face, but she only turned her head.

“But, I don’t—especially not right now. The thing is… something’s clouding my mind. I can’t recall anything. It’s like someone just erased part of my life. I need you to tell me.” He stood back up, looking at Annabell pleadingly. Slowly, she looked up.

“I can’t. I’m sorry,” she said and lowered her eyes again. The nervous energy pent up in Joshua wanted to explode. He balled his fists and exhaled loudly through his nose. He mentally counted to ten.

Is it really so hard? Just talk to me!

Annabell began to breathe faster, and her lip quivered. Shaking her head violently she stormed off, and he saw her sit down at the base of a tree. He watched as she pulled her knees up and hugged them tightly.

With a sigh, Joshua turned around and stomped away. He could feel his frustration percolating, ready to boil over. Her refusal to tell the truth about what had happened annoyed him. The irony was not lost on him, considering he hadn’t been entirely truthful himself. What exactly bothered him, though, was his complete inability to remember what happened. That actually scared him. He could handle anger much better than fear.

With Annabell out of sight, he kicked a tree but instantly regretted it. Pain shot along his foot, and he stifled a girlish welp. Despite no one seeing, he felt stupid for it and hoped that he hadn’t broken a toe. He was still in rough shape from the fight, and he didn’t need to go inflicting further injury upon himself. Sitting down, he rumbled through his bag. He took out the lion dust and a small piece of paper. Different measurements were scribbled on it. He thanked the stars he had paid attention to his chemistry lessons. Skimming the page, he found what he was looking for.

Taking a pinch of Star Lion dust, he rolled it in the palm of his hands with a bit of honey thistle root until it formed a sticky paste. Following the directions, he rubbed the mixture directly over his heart. The ointment wouldn’t relieve all the pain, but he had to do something. They still had a long way to travel, and it would do no good to be held back because he was too weak to go on. He silently thanked his father forcing him to prepare for anything.

He felt waves of relief begin to pulse through his body. The worst of the pain subsided, and he found that he at least could move without something hurting. He rested while the Lion Dust did its job. Taking a moment to read his notes, he came across another concoction. Everything needed to create a truth serum was in his bag. He seriously considered making it just so he could use on Annabell, although, he hated himself for even thinking the thought.

Of course, if it didn’t work he would be in massive trouble. The thought of Annabell unleashing her fury on him was more than enough for him to think better of it. Instead, he decided to try to talk to her again.

Once the healing salve had done all it was going to do, Joshua rose and walked back to where he had left Annabell. He found her still sitting on the ground, hugging her knees close to her body. He watched her silently, and was surprised to see how still she could be. If he didn’t know better, he’d have thought she was sleeping.

He cleared his throat to make himself known. Annabell tensed up a bit, but other than that, she didn’t react further to his presence. Without invitation, Joshua sat down beside her.

“I thought about using a truth serum on you.” It was a risky topic to begin with, and he knew it. When she didn’t respond, he continued, “But, I thought it would be unfair and I couldn’t bring myself to go through with it.”

“Thanks,” she muttered.

“I have to know what happened back there, though, in case we run into more danger.” Joshua could see Annabell wrestling with her thoughts. Several times, she opened her mouth as if she was going to speak before shaking her head and pursing her lips. She glanced up at the sky and exhaled slowly.

“I’ve always had problems with my temper,” she said, bringing her gaze level again. Joshua kept silent beside her, listening.

“I can’t even remember all the times I had to have Miss Selena stick up for me. The townspeople hated me with a passion. I was bad news. Many nights, I snuck down to listen in on the meetings that Miss Selena had with people who complained on me,” Annabell continued. She turned to look him in the eye.

“I got angry. Back there with Cole, I mean,” she said.

“Why?” Joshua asked. Annabell began to blush and turned her head slightly, trying to hide her face behind her shoulder.

“I was angry… because of you.” Annabell said softly.

“Because of me? What did I do now?” Joshua asked, surprised.

“That … thing was hurting you, and I got angry. Though, not like when I normally get angry. This was different.”

“Different how?” Joshua prodded, somewhat relieved that she didn’t normally transform into a super human killing machine when she lost her temper.

“Well, at first I couldn’t move. My whole body wanted me to get away. Then that thing attacked you, and I couldn’t bear to watch. I lost it. I wanted to rip that thing apart with both my hands. I’ve never been that angry before in my life. Not even when I was tied up and tortured before you found me,” Annabell explained. The last part came out barely a whisper.

“What about your wounds? I saw your hands. There’s barely a scratch on them at all,” Joshua urged, grabbing Annabell by the hand and raising it before them.

“I don’t know, actually. I got the scrapes when I fell, but I didn’t even feel the burning. My whole body tingled, and it felt like something flowed through me. It was electric. To be honest, I’m afraid of ever feeling that again. It felt so good. I can see myself getting addicted to it,” Annabell said and turned her hands upside-down. There were only small scars visible.

“How did it heal?” Joshua asked.

“I don’t know. They clearly did, but I have no idea how. It’s how it’s always been, though. Solem, I would need more lives than a cat if I didn’t heal so fast. You wouldn’t believe how provocative I can be,” Annabell told Joshua, snorting.

“Oh, I think I can imagine,” Joshua said with a smirk, earning him an elbow to the ribs. He was happy to see a grin on Annabell’s face. It didn’t last for long, when she looked at him again she was serious.

“You said that you had something to tell me,” Annabell reminded.

“Right,” he paused, thinking of how to phrase what he needed to say, “I haven’t been completely honest with you.” Joshua stopped. Much to his surprise, she didn’t react. Her expression was difficult to read, but he took it as a sign to continue.

“I know that I kind of gave off the impression that you were the Rising Star, and therefore you had to come with me. That’s not entirely accurate, however. You and your sister are the key to finding the Rising Star, and I have an idea why she needs to be found. We don’t know if you fully destroyed that Black Hole back there, and if we didn’t, the whole world might be in grave danger from it. I am sorry. I honestly am. I should have told you the truth from the beginning,” Joshua said, finally meeting Annabell’s eyes again. Annabell shrugged.

“I kind of saw it coming. I don’t have any magical skills, and that thing back there was the first abnormal thing that’s ever happened to me. Well, apart from the fast healing,” Annabell said, waving her hands slightly for emphasis.

“So, you aren’t mad at me?” Joshua asked, completely surprised.

Annabell laughed dryly.

“I probably would have been before. But now, I’m not. Are you disappointed?” she replied.

“Not at all. Just a bit confused. I’m not sure I understand,” Joshua admitted, fiddling with his thumbs.

“I’m not sure if I understand it myself,” Annabell answered in the same tone. She studied her hands. She sucked in her breath sharply when she ran her thumb over the scar.

A loud crack startled them.

“Did you hear that?” Annabell asked.

“Yeah…” Joshua stood up and scanned the area. “Maybe it was just a squirrel or—”

A roar interrupted him. A large dog barreled out of the undergrowth, stopping in front of them. Bristling with rage it was hard to recognize the beast as Kato. He growled and bared his teeth, saliva dripping from his jaws. Hackles raised, he crouched and stood in an attack stance, watching their every move as they both slowly stood up.

“You know, I’ve always been taught that it’s bad to keep eye contact with a dog,” Joshua whispered. His eyes were glued to the dog, waiting for it to explode forward.

It didn’t take long. Kato barked and leaped. In less than a blink, the giant dog flew towards Annabell, with its jaws open. Joshua saw her freeze when she noticed Kato aiming straight for her. Reacting more than thinking, he knocked her out of the way, allowing the vicious dog to slam into him.

Joshua collapsed under the momentum of the impact. It took everything he had to keep Kato’s bone crushing jaws away from his face and throat. His arms were being ripped to shreds by the animal’s teeth, and the dog’s massive paws clawed at his body. Blood ran freely from multiple wounds, but he didn’t seem to notice the pain, adrenalin muting out everything not required for survival.

Kato gripped Joshua’s forearm tightly in his maw and began shaking his head, trying to tear the limb apart. Beneath the mighty animal, Joshua struggled to release his ruined arm. He was starting to lose hope when Kato rocked and fell off him. Looking up he saw Annabell with a dead branch raised over her head.

Only slightly dazed, Kato was back up in a flash. Still, it had provided Joshua enough time to free his pocketknife from his belt. Scrambling to his feet, he staggered in front of Annabell.

“Get out of the way! Are you crazy?” she shouted.

“I’m ending this now!” His words came slowly, and his breathing was heavy.

Dog and boy stood before one another, their eyes locked. For a brief, tense moment that lasted a lifetime in Joshua’s mind, they sized each other up. Deciding to act first this time, Joshua charged forward. Kato sprinted to meet him. Again, the frenzied dog leaped for the throat.

Despite being better prepared, Joshua couldn’t withstand the big dog crashing into him, especially in his weakened state. They hit the ground and rolled. Sounds of grunting and snarling filled the forest between screams from Annabell. A high-pitched yelp pierced through it all, and everything became quiet. Kato arched and convulsed before vanishing in a cloud of oily, black smoke.

Joshua lay on the ground breathing rapidly and loudly. Annabell rushed to his side.

“Lie still!” she commanded when he tried to sit up. She examined his wounds. Joshua followed her eyes to his destroyed arm and groaned. It should have hurt a lot more than it did.

“Oh Solem, that doesn’t look good.” Joshua groaned.

“How could you not have noticed this before?” Annabell asked surprised.

“I used some of the lion dust as a pain killer right before I came back to you. Good thing it hasn’t worn off yet. That wound is going to hurt like a bitch when the effect disappears,” Joshua explained.

“Can lion dusts heal this too? It looks horrible.”

“Give me my bag and I’ll check,” Joshua said.

Annabell did as he requested immediately. Gently, she handed the bag to him and watched as Joshua took out a crumbled piece of paper. His eyes skimming back and forth over the writing for several minutes before he found what he was looking for.

“It can’t heal me fully, but it can make the bleeding stop, cleanse, and close the wounds. Frankly, that’s more than I could hope for out here,” he glanced at his arm, and winced, “The thing is: you’re going to have to make it. My arm is useless, and I have to remain still in order for it to work properly. If it doesn’t work, I likely won’t last long.” Joshua fished the lion dust, along with some other bottles, out of the bag with his good hand.

“What is that?” Annabell asked, pointing towards the two other bottles.

“This blue one is water from the river that runs through Astron. I filled it when we were back there, and the other one is just regular flour,” Joshua explained.

“What’s it for?”

“Well, you can’t just sprinkle the lion dust on the wound, so I have to make something that can be smeared over it. By adding those two, you’ll be able to make a substance thick enough to do that,” Joshua said. Annabell looked at him doubtfully.

“Just follow my directions and it’ll be fine. Now, take that bowl and sprinkle two pinches of lion dust into it.” Hesitantly, Annabell did as he said. Systematically Joshua walked her through the process, and despite her apparent lack of confidence, she had the salve ready in no time. Joshua smiled at her in approval.

“You are going to have to apply an ultra thick layer. Oh, and you may feel a little numbness in your finger tips for about an hour or so after you’ve added it,” Joshua said, laying back down on the ground. Annabell sat beside him and gently removed his torn shirt. Some of the fabric was caught in the wounds, and Joshua made a slight grimace when she removed it.

“I guess the feeling is coming back,” Annabell noted. Joshua didn’t answer; he wasn’t supposed to move at all.

She smeared the homemade paste over his wounds, adding the bulk of the concoction to his arm. He knew she was trying to be gentle, but every time she touched a new spot, he had to grit his teeth.

“I’m sorry,” Annabell whispered. The work was slow, and it seemed to take forever.

When she was finally done, Joshua remained still for a few minutes.

“Does it hurt?”

“Not so much as I would have thought. The pain hasn’t returned fully yet, so I can’t complain,” Joshua answered softly. They sat and watched a single leaf falling to the ground.

“What’s the next plan?” Annabell asked, breaking the sudden silence.

“It’s the same as ever. I still have to take you to your sister in Yildun,” Joshua said, managing to sit up. The world wobbled around him, and he regretted it.

“Do you think she’ll like me?” Annabell whispered.

“Why wouldn’t she?”

“You know, I’m not exactly pleasant. Maybe she won’t believe that I’m her sister,” Annabell explained.

“Or maybe she’s rich and doesn’t need me to disturb her life. Maybe she even knows about my existence, but she just didn’t want to ever have contact with me,” she continued. Joshua watched her; Annabell looked fragile.

Up to this point, he never would have used that word to describe her. Annabell came across as a girl who could take on the world. Even though, she annoyed him and got on his nerves most of the time, Joshua still respected the tough girl sitting beside him. She had been through so much and still she hadn’t faltered. Nevertheless, as the fears poured out of her, it became clear just how much of a facade she put up. The prospect of having some semblance of a family made a crack in the wall she had created and his heart went out to her.

“I don’t think she knows. As far as I gathered from my father, neither of you knows of each other’s existence. Otherwise, what would be the point in separating you?” Joshua said, unsure of how to comfort her.

“It’s not like I wish to be this way, all provocative, and tough. I want to have friends too. I just never had them, and maybe I never will,” Annabell whispered, and Joshua was surprised to see a single tear roll down her cheek.

“You don’t have to be afraid of that. If people can’t see who you are beneath the surface, they aren’t worth your friendship,” Joshua stated. Annabell met his eyes.

“But, what if it’s me that’s not worthy?” Annabell asked in a serious tone. Again, he struggled to find the right thing to say. Joshua had always been terrible with sad girls. Even when his mother cried, he fumbled his words and stood there awkwardly.

“I … I …. Thin … Think you are worthy,” Joshua finally managed to stutter, and as the words passed his lips, he knew they were true. Their eye contact was broken and once again, Annabell looked at the ground. Her brown hair fell in waves, creating a wall between them.

Joshua looked down at his hands. After a moment of thought, he moved his hand towards Annabell and gently placed his hand over hers. He watched her reaction intently, and he was surprised to see that she didn’t remove her hand. Instead, she turned in, and suddenly his hand was wrapped around her small one.

They sat like this, without words, just watching the forest around them.