Jace sits on the sofa, staring at Roman like he canât believe what he just said. Iâm still in shock that Roman announced it like that, he hasnât said a word about it since it happened. And he just straight-up told Jace that he killed his dad.
Although, it wasnât like that; he didnât just kill him. It was in self-defense. Not a crime like Hunter said. Except, with how much we changed and covered up, thatâs the crime. It would make us look guilty for tampering with the crime scene and lying about who killed him.
Roman is in the armchair, zoned out, and Iâm left standing here with Hunter to pick up the pieces. If the cops are snooping around, that means something didnât add up, and I have no idea what that could be. DNA, fingerprints, shit, did Roman leave a bloody fingerprint somewhere? I assumed they would believe my story enough that they wouldnât test the whole place. Why would they? It was all wrapped up, an easy, open-and-shut case.
Roman went there to get some clothes and stuff with an officer, but thatâs the last time any of us have been there. He didnât say much, but maybe we should have all gone with him to do it. But wouldnât that have looked suspicious?
âItâs okay. Itâs gonna be okay, Mila.â Hunter takes my hand from where I was twirling and pulling on the ends of my hair. I didnât even know I was doing that.
Will it be okay?
Our entire childhood, he has said that.
I trust Hunter when he says it. I know he will try everything to make sure itâs okay. But this is bigger than us.
âI donât even understand. What⦠why? How? Was it really self-defense?â Jace asks Roman, who doesnât move. The only indication heâs heard him is a tick in his jaw at that last question.
As if Roman would have murdered his father, he deserved it, but Roman isnât that type of person. But I guess Jace is confused and just asking questions. You canât start with, âI killed my dad,â then completely shut down and not expect Jace to say something dumb. But maybe Roman just needed to say it, to get it off his chest.
âJace,â I say, bringing his attention back to me. âIt was self-defense. We donât want to whisper and leave you out, but we had to protect you. From the truth, the lies⦠hell, all of it.â I throw my hand up. âWe have so many lies, I donât know whatâs real and whatâs not anymore. Itâs sometimes easier to live the lie than face reality.â
Jace shakes his head, but before he can speak, I put my hand up to stop him.
âLook, what we say hereâit stays with us. You said you would never break my trust again, and I need to believe that right now. The three of us⦠weâre the only ones who know what really happened. About everything. And if it gets out, we are fucked.â
He nods, his big eyes reminding me of when we were kids. Innocent and trusting. This is the Jace from my past, not the asshole quarterback with a chip on his shoulder. I give a sad smile. Iâve missed this boy. Where has he been?
âMila. You can trust me. You all can. If you go down, Iâll go down with you.â He looks at his palm, and I do the same to mine. I run my finger over the blood pact. The blood brother mark. We all carry the same scar made from the same blade. Even if it was so we would stay best friends forever, we all now belong to something bigger than friendship with these marks. Trust, loyalty, loveâ¦
âThere was an accident at Romanâs trailer. Only, I wasnât the one who killed Damon in self-defense. Roman did, and I took the fall to protect him.â
I look at Roman, and his eyes meet mine behind his hair. Itâs taking everything in him not to run away. I reach my hand out toward him, wanting to comfort him, wanting him to comfort me. Waiting until he opens his arms, I sit on his lap, and when he pulls me to him, I melt under his warmth.
Hugs from Roman are becoming more frequent. Anytime he lets me in, itâs a huge step forward. Like now. Even when he initiates a hug, I donât touch his chest, since that will set him off. Instead, I curl my hands into myself as he hugs me to his chest.
I turn to see Jace staring at us, and Roman nuzzles his nose into my throat as he breathes me in. Jace seems surprised. Heâs seen us kiss. Hell, he walked in on us earlier, and Iâm a little upset about that, as Iâd been worked up and was hoping one of them or both would get me off. But Jace hasnât seen this side of Roman, where he freely touches me and lets me in. Itâs new for all of us.
Hunter clears his throat, and all attention shifts to him. He takes a seat on the edge of the coffee table and clasps his hands together, looks over to me, and nods. Hunter will tell Jace. I donât have to relive it anymore. I do that in my nightmares enough as it is. At least I donât have nightmares about being hit by that car anymore. Sometimes, I wish I didnât have to go to sleep at all.
âDamon was getting drugs from the Amato family, and he ran up a huge debt. One that Roman has been paying off by fighting. Theyâre the ones who hit Mila on her bike and put her in the hospital. They were sending Roman a message.â
Jaceâs eyes widen as he turns to me. I tense and close my eyes . . . I donât want him to see me like this. I feel vulnerable and I donât like it. Roman kisses my cheek, and I relax a little.
âItâs the reason weâve been losing games that we should have won.â
Jace stands up now and looks around the room. âWhat do you mean, losing games?â
Hunter is struggling, but as Roman tenses beneath me, I know I need to stay here. If he gets up, a fight will likely break out.
âIâm sorry, man, for last Friday night. But if I didnât fumbleâ¦â Hunter canât say it.
I know how much it hurt him and Roman to lose the last game of the season like that. Jace didnât take it well at all, especially since he wants that college scholarship, but they needed to lose to protect us.
Jace paces now, gripping his hair and messing it up more than it was before. âFuck.â He stares at Hunter, then finds Romanâs stare. âFuck, youâve been losing games because of these Amato guys, and we finished the season out losing to the Devils. Which should have been an easy win.â
Shit. The team and the game mean the most to Jace. I never wanted this to happen. I feel so guilty, and I can only imagine how Hunter and Roman feel right now. Itâs their game too. Their team. They hurt their best friend to protect meâ¦
They love the game and the team, and they let them all down.
âBut Damonâs dead. I donât get why you still had to lose. Why couldnât you have told me? We could have figured out something else.â
Romanâs hands tighten around me as Hunter shakes his head.
âIf Roman and Hunter donât lose the easy-winning games, they will come for me.â I sigh. âThe Amato family was placing bets on the other team⦠you lose, and they win the big, easy money. They donât care that Damonâs dead. He used Roman to pay for his drugs. The debt doesnât just go away. Itâs â Even dead, Damon is fucking with Roman.
Jace doesnât say a word as he sits on the edge of the sofa. He watches us all, and I wait as the words sink in. Itâs a lot to absorb, and I just hope he understands why we had no choice.
âFuck⦠just, , man.â Jace stands and wraps his arms around Hunter and hugs him.
. âGod, I had no idea, and blamed you for that fumble. Iâ¦
. I wish Iâd known. I wouldnât have said those things. I had such high hopes for this season, and it ended up being the worst season, and blamed you both. Well, and Mila.
âIâm so sorry for being an asshole. I should have known something bigger was going on. I just couldnât see it. I was angry at the world, but then I was just angry at myself for everything I did, and I couldnât get past my own damn ego.â
The room grows quiet as we all nod and accept that weâve all wronged each other.
âThatâs all of it, no more lies,â Roman rumbles deeply into my hair.
I let out a deep breath. âIf we are all being honest right now, I need to tell you something.â I sit up, but Roman wonât let go of me. His eyes, wide, roam my face.
I smile, letting him know itâs okay. âIâm okay, weâre okay,â I reassure him. Although, once I tell him and Hunter about the Asher thing, they might not be okay. âItâs just that, Asherââ Roman grumbles deeply. He doesnât like him. I have no idea why, they never talk to one another. Maybe itâs a football thing.
âAs I was sayingâ¦Â Asher. Well, he admitted he has feelings for me, and I didnât tell you.â
I look over at Hunter, and he throws his hands up and lets out a groan. âI already know. The whole Garden of Eden shit. Walker told meâ¦Â fuck. Asher told me himself that night.â
What night? Hunter knew this whole time?
âThatâs why he was a dick that morning of Walkerâs party. I have you, youâre my girl, and he was a jealous asshole.â
Ohâ¦Â that night. I blush at the memory. Hunter winks at me. That was an amazing night, but Asher ruined that morning.
âHe said you cockblocked him and Walker from the get-go.â Hunter smiles now. âI didnât tell you, becauseâ¦Â well, it made me happy to know that you had no interest in them. Then everything happened, and to be honest, I kinda forgot.â
I did that to both of them. Walker knows his place. Heâs a friend, and that line is very clear, even if we flirt. Itâs going nowhere, and I appreciate he knows that.
But Asher. God, Asher. He moved that line when he confessed his feelings, and it would be so simple if we could just keep that line straight. Only, my butterflies are making the line all wavy and messy.
âAt the Halloween party, he came to tell me he just wants to be friends.â
Jace snorts, and we all look at him. Whatâs his problem? This has nothing to do with him; itâs between Hunter, Roman, and me. Asher just wants to be friends now, so what does it matterâ¦Â even if the word twists my stomach? Thatâs what he wants, and itâs what I need. It will make things less confusing.
âMila, if you think he just wants to be friends, youâre crazy. Hell, you probably think I just want to be your friend. I donât, to clarify, since we are all being honest. Feelings donât just go away like that. Feelings for youâ¦Â they only grow stronger.â
I narrow my eyes at Jace. I know feelings donât just go away, but if I say it enough, they might when it comes to Asher. Itâs the forbidden fruit thing; theyâre not genuine feelings.
Except, why do I get butterflies when Iâm around him? Theyâre the same as when Iâm with Hunter, Roman, andâ¦Â Jace throws his hands up.
âI want what they have. You said I gave you butterflies. So, Iâm holding out hope that you will want to act on thatâ¦
.â He wiggles his brows at me playfully.
Ugh, I canât deny that there are still some butterflies there, only most have their wings pulled off. Thereâs a lot of healing that needs to happen first. I know he was hurting and lashing out, but it isnât an excuse. It happened.
âMila, you said I did,â Jace continues. âHell, I knew I wanted to marry you when I was old enough to understand what that meant. I want what they have, even if I donât get exactly how this works. I want a piece of your heart, and I promise to give you all of mine. Please, Mila. Tell me you feel the butterflies still.â
The room is silent. You could hear a pin drop with the level of quiet. No one says a thing; theyâre all waiting on me. Jace wiggles his brows, and I narrow my eyes at him. Mr. Ego has returned.
âAsher gives me butterflies too,â I quip back, and what I just said aloud hits me too late. I tighten my lips, not wanting to say anything else.
Roman pulls me in closer to his chest, like heâs trying to keep me from Asher.
Jace flops back onto the sofa and looks at Hunter, who just stares at me, his expression falling slightly, and tears prick my eyes. I didnât want to hurt Hunter. I donât know why I said that. I wasnât thinking. For a moment, I wanted to hurt Jace. I should have kept that to myself until I could tell Hunter in private. Iâm now the asshole.
âWellâ¦
,â Hunter mutters as he paces.
Iâm a terrible girlfriend.
âHunter,â I call to him, my voice cracking as my heart clenches in my chest. I stretch an arm out to him, and he smiles, coming to me and kissing me.
âDonât cry, babe. Itâs justâ¦Â I guess I should have seen it coming. It makes sense. Youâve grown so close. Heâs still a dick, though.â
I chuckle, and a tear rolls down my cheek. Hunter wipes it away just as Jace clears his throat.
âSo, about me again.â We all turn to Jace, who has a stupid grin on his face. âWhat? I took my shot, and it went all sad and shit. Mila, Iâm happy to wait as long as you need. Just know that, if you want to kiss me, Iâm not stopping you. And Iâm keeping you.
.â
I donât see that happening anytime soon, since Iâm not over the Britney thing yet. But⦠I smirk. âIf I kiss you first, thatâs the deal. You canât kiss me or try anything until I make the first move and Hunter and Roman both agree that you can be in this relationship.â Jaceâs eyes light up and Hunterâs eyes widen.
Jace agrees to my terms.
Iâm gonna torture Jace with this. Itâll be fun.
I wink to Hunter and give him a smile again for not telling him about Asher and the fact that I have feelings for him too. Ugh, why is this such a mess?
Hunter nods. Heâs going to want to talk about Asher later, and I donât think Iâm ready for that yet. Iâve just really admitted that to myself. I need time to process.
Itâs so quiet, and I donât like the tension in the room. The air feels thicker after admitting the Asher thing than it did during the whole Roman and his dad thing. Hunter gets back up and stands beside the coffee table. He looks so sexy in his plain black tee. It hugs all his ridges, and I lick my lips just thinking about whatâs underneath it.
He looks to his feet and then back at us, his brows pinched together. âIâm leaving Ridgecrest.â
My mouth drops open.
Hunterâs joking⦠right? He gives a small shrug, and I can tell heâs serious. What does that mean? Whyâs he leaving? Oh shit, I think Iâm really going to cry now. I pry myself from Roman and go to Hunter, wrapping my arms around his waist.
âI wonât be a Rebel anymore. Iâm gonna be a King.â
Pulling back to see Hunterâs face, I kiss him. I want him to know I love him. I just donât understand why heâs leaving.
Jace stands up and yells, âWhat the fuck, man? What the hell is going on here? We were supposed to be Rebels until the endâ¦â The way Jace trails off, itâs clear heâs really hurting.
Iâm upset that Hunter didnât tell me, but there must be a reason heâs been holding onto this secret. Like how I held onto my Asher one.
When did he decide to leave?
âIâm sorry. I tried everything. I did. But shit hit the fan with my dad, and, at the time, having Roman living with me was more important than being a Rebel. I was hoping Dad would change his mind, but he wonât. He was letting me have until the end of the school year, but now heâs changed his mind.
âIâm transferring to Lakeview Prep after Thanksgiving. Itâs already been arranged, and I just didnât know how to tell you. It only just changed. I thought I had till the end of summer to convince him to let me stay at Ridgecrest for my senior year, but his plans changed.â
Roman stands. âWhat do you mean, I was more important?â
Hunterâs shaking, so I hold him tighter, and he pulls me close to his chest and rocks me. Placing a kiss on my forehead, he turns to Roman. âI made a deal with my father. He said he would sign off to have you live with us for as long as you need, but only if I go to Lakeview. He never liked the fact I went to Ridgecrest. All his colleaguesâ kids go to Lakeview Prep or Royale Academy.
âIt wasnât even something I had to think twice about. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Youâre my brother, Roman. I donât care about blood and all that DNA shit. Youâre more my family than he is. I will always choose you.â
My throat is thick and tight with that declaration. Roman comes to us. I can see heâs struggling with hiding his emotions too, and I reach out to him. I want him to come closer. I want to hug him and Hunter together.
Roman takes a step closer and does just that, and even Iâm surprised. His arms go around the two of us. I can hear him whispering encouraging words to Hunter, thanking him and calling him his brother, as I get choked up with tears.
Hunterâs not going far. A different school is nothing. Itâs not like being dragged away to New York. Yes, this is going to make things a little different, and Iâll miss him at lunch every day. But I donât care what school he goes to. As long as Romanâs safe and Hunterâs mine, thatâs all that matters.
The front door slams shut, and we all turn to see my dad standing there in his navy polo shirt that says, âLakeview Prep, Assistant coach.â The look on his face has me straightening up.
âDad?â Whatâs he doing here?
I thought we were going to have dinner at Kateâs place.
I was a littleâokay, a lotâdistracted, and it must be later than I thought. Whereâs my phone? I bet heâs mad at me because Iâm late. He could have called Jaceâs parents, and they would have come to tell me.
Dad stands there looking at where Iâm wedged between Hunter and Roman, and his eyes lower to where theyâre both touching me. Uh-oh. Heâs another person I need to have a talk with. He doesnât know about my relationships.
He grits out between his teeth, âMila, we need to talk .â
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