chapter 30

Aarushi's pov

It's been one whole week to that incident. One whole week we talk, specially I talk with Avinash. I'm getting ready to go to college like daily. I looked through mirror at him. Avinash stand there with a file in his hands reading it and sipping his black coffee. He is ready to go his office. He looked at my direction and gave me a apologized smile. I smile back. Last week incident ran in my mind. His blood stain cloth his hands painted with blood my heavy breathing cry for help his pleading to me to listen to him one time to hold his hands but I'm too broken to fix.

Flashback

It's after two days of my hospital visit. First I'm angry with Avinash for his possessive behavior but somewhere I like his this behavior so after some treat and sorry I forgive him. That day it's very tough for me like old days. I don't know why I'm feelings something bad will be happen. Whole day I try to be happy to be focus around me but I zoned out and remember everything that happened with me all those years.

I came home and lock myself here I want to talk to Avinash badly. Only he can make me feel relieved. I called him many times but he didn't pick up my calls. I called Abhi bhaiya and asked him about Avinash he told me Avinash is in a meeting. I didn't tell him about my situation. I need to distracted my mind I went to maa and talked with her till dinner I was with them talked to them but my inner self was in deep turmoil I could not shaking off my fears. I didn't eat dinner thought to eat with him and talk to him I have to tell Avinash about some part of my inner self it's hard to breath now.

It's midnight when my inner self was start to broken more it shout to free shout to form into words I can't breath. I start to crying, curling my knees to my chest sat in balcony resting my head to its door.

I want to free from this pain please help me.

It's no trace of Avinash no calls nor message. I want to trust him I want to reciprocat his feelings. I don't want to hurt him he is special for me.

Please Avinash come

When moon on my head its quite all around making it peaceful for everyone but for me my cry echoed around me scared me more. Suddenly I hear door opening sound. 'Avinash' he came I have to go near him before it turn into very bad. I stand with an instance and opened the glass balcony door but before I took a step forward I froze. I try to not having a panic attack but my biggest fear is in front of me

'BLOOD'

There Avinash standing like me he also froze seeing me. His frown is visible looking at my tears I didn't bothered to wipe my face.

There he is bathed in blood his white shirt turned into red color from blood. His hairs was messed up his shirt sleeves is rolled up there are blood stain on that. He took two steps forward, forwarding his hands

"Aarushi its......"

"Door raho mujse" I shout on him before he took further steps. He stop there looking at me for some minutes then went to washroom. My legs turned into weak jelly I sat on floor with a thud.

Blood , blood lots of blood my hands painted with blood with my parents blood. Their pleading face their crying for help to me to save them they wanted to live but I couldn't help them I let them die. I kill my own parents. Their accusing words their hard glares their shouting to kill my parents now kill me.

I can't breath now black fog cover my mind. Every bad memory came back accusing me for living here. Accusing me to didn't fight back

I didn't see around me I drown in my pain this world looking so mean to me

"Aarushi....jaan.." i heard his soft voice that only he used for me. I look at him he sitting on his knees with guilty face.

"B....bl...llll....blood" I said huffing between  long breath. I rubbed my chest to ease the pain

"Jaan...please look at me" he said with a pleading tone. That's not what I want. A mental break down in front of him does he leave me now but that's what I want doesn't?

"Aarushi look at me there is no blood...." he said again I try to focus on his words but everything seems fading in front of my eyes. I only saw his lips moving his shaking hands. My breath became more shallow. I need to protect myself. The dark memories that black day ran in front of me. Their pleading tone rang in my ears. I looked at him, his picture with blood appear next and I lost my battle there. He forward his hand to touch me but i pushed myself back.

"B..lo....lood.....help.....mm"

I can utter last words before the black fog ungulfed me.

Present

When I woke up after that incident I am alone in bed. Avinash sat on chair near the bed. I can saw guilt in his eyes. His red puffy eyes told me that he didn't sleep whole night. I didn't remember if I woke up late at night or say something. When he look at me he gave me a smile and try to touch me but I back my hands,  fear is a most cunning thing in your life its a ruler and ruiner.

From whom I fear now...blood or Avinash. I know he is not at fault but I'm soo engrossed in my fear that now it's hard to get away from it.

After that we maintain a distance. We talk less or I say we didn't talk like last days. We didn't share our day story with eachother. He didn't tease me his kisses hugs all stop at this stage. We are now lower that our starting stage.

I miss him badly I want to hug him tightly. But I'm feared by my fear what if he leave me. I want to be selfish this time please.

Please God help me.....

"Ishi" I hear his voice and i came back from my thoughts.

I turned and he is standing there behind me with a distance.

"Jii"

"Are you Okay?" He asked me again this question which he asked from last one week.

"I'm fine now" I said him truthfully. He nodded and gave me a smile. I turned and again look in mirror fixing my sindoor in hairline I went outside of room. He stand there waiting for me talking on phone in his cold scary tone.

I need to take a step forward if I wanted to fight with my fears and may be he will help me.

He sense my presence and I took a step forward and held his pinky finger with my pinky finger. He sense my touch and looked at me I gave him a genuine smile.

"Do it" he said in  his cold voice straight looking at me and cut the call. I looking down in shyness. His burning gaze make me pink in seconds.

He turned to me and put his hands around my waist pull me to him secure me near him. My hands rested on his chest making distance between us. I look at his well built chest his two buttons opens like always. Honestly said i didn't like this trend of him like how he show his body to everyone. And more specifically show the female out there. I buttoned up his one button and he chuckled which  I'm die to hear. I have to took a step forward to eat this distance between us. We want to be together and now I decide I will gave everything in this relationship.

"Jaan  I'm all yours"

I looked down in shyness didn't able to meet his gaze. He held my chin softly and made me look at him. His brown eyes shinning after a whole week I'm the reason of his misery. We both look deep in eachother eyes. His eyes like a ocean to me clear full of surprises and admiration for me. I can feel the difference in his gaze when he look at other and me. His soft gaze shinning eyes only for me. Like I'm the reason behind his happiness.

Did I?

His face came closer to me a different emotions I can see in his eyes now a days it's deep so pure like LOVE.

Do he love me???

No no it's too soon for falling in love

I can feel his warm breath on my face our face close. Our nose is almost touching. Are we going to kiss? What....but how...

Before we do or I thought anything his phone rang. He shut his eyes in frustration and muttered something more like cursing. And gave me a quick peck on my cheek and back off. He took out his phone and pick up the call

"Must be important Yash" he said in frustration voice. I chuckled and held his hand and dragged him to downstairs.

Author's pov

Aarushi dragged him downstairs and he happily dragged by her while talking on his phone. They both are happy today after so many days. They both reach to dining area and sat on their seats. Aarushi greet them morning and like always everyone busy on their bickering and teasing session. Avinash complete his call and put his phone back. He first serve Aarushi and then him. It's all went smooth until Aarushi phone rang.

She looked at her phone and a line of happiness and sadness appear on her face. Avinash look at her expression closely. She pick up her phone and put on her ear.

"Maaasssiiii" kittu cried from other side

Yes its kittu's call actually its his nanny who call. Whenever situations are not under her control. She call either his parents neeraj and Manisha or Aarushi. Today kittu cry for her so his nanny call her so kittu talk to her.

"Baby don't cry" Aarushi said worried

Avinash ears peeked hearing baby word. Everyone went silent. And looking at them in surprised.

"Maassi miss you"

"Oo baby I also miss you. My cutie prince. Don't cry"

Now Avinash temper is touch sky rocket. Who the hell dare to talk to his wife like that and why his wife talk to that person like that. It's only him who is her baby prince king everything

Now everyone gulp in fear looking at him. His grip on his fork became tight his cold burning gaze enough to cause a fire.

"Did you eat bacha"? Aarushi asked kittu on call unaware by the burning heart of Avinash

"Massi no eat. Breaky yuck" he said in his baby voice

Aarushi chuckled on his words and here by Avinash tight grip on his fork it tilt now. Everyone pity on that poor fork.

"No bacha breaky is important. Where is your mumma papa"?

"They lost massi"

Aarushi laughed on his baby words. They went to office and here for kittu his parents is lost.

"OK bacha we will find them now eat your breaky"

"No no eat. I want maasi" he said stubbornly.

"Massi I come nani houuse"

Aarushi's hand stop hearing him. She remembered whenever kittu wants to meet her she went to their or sometimes kittu comes there. But now her both family is not in a good equation. How she tell him?

"Kittu  bacha I'm not at nani house" She said looking down with guilt. After her marriage with Avinash she didn't meet with Manisha and her family and even she didn't know how she asked Avinash about to meet them. What if Avinash didn't want her to meet them so she kept silent.

Here Avinash completely turn and only looked at Aarushi. He waiting for her to end the call so he can asked her about her new baby. Jealous freak Avinash..

"No massi I meet you please massi" Kittu said in crying voice. Aarushi feel guilty to said him no but she didn't have any option.

"Bacha I'm busy baby I will come to meet you ok." Aarushi said him trying to coaxing him.

"Do you want to eat chocolate cake?" Aarushi asked him trying to change the topic

"Yes yes massi" he said instantly

Aarushi chuckled on his innocence and instruct his nanny to bake a chocolate cake for him.

"Massi lobe uu"

"Massi loves you baby. Bye" Aarushi said bye to him with a smile on her face. Everyone is happy to see her smile but Avinash burning in jealousy and his jealous and angry face fears others for Aarushi.

Aarushi cut the call and put phone near her plate. She looked at others who all saw her with a smile but it's apologetic smile. She frowns and looked beside her at Avinash. Blood shot eyes angry face hands in tight fist a spoon broken near his plate. Aarushi forward her hand to held his hand but it before he stood up and went from there.

Aarushi feel his anger and jealousy but his act of not listening to her hurt her little bit. Before she went after him Karan stop her thought that might in his anger Avinash do something which will not good.

"Aarushi finish your breakfast first then you go" Karan said her and she sit back on her chair.

"Aarushi you have a nephew" dadu asked her as they all listening her saying herself as massi.

"Ji dadu. Manisha di and Neeraj jiju had a boy, he is three years old now" Aarushi reply with a beaming smile. They sense her how much love she do to her nephew.

After breakfast Radhika took Aarushi to her room as she had something to discuss with her. After half and hour later Aarushi came back to kitchen and prepare a cup of coffee for Avinash. She wanted to talk to him at any cost. The silence is bitting them from inside. She want to opened her inner self to him.

Avinash's pov

How can she call anyone baby. How can she talk to any other with this much love. Here I yearn for her and she gave my side of love to other. Who ever he was or she was I will not spare them.

Do I'm a jealous freak? Yes I'm. About her I'm more possessive. She's my obsession, passion, love, possessiveness everything she is.

I'm in my study right now, trying to suppress my anger. I know she talk to some child I heard voice from her phone but I don't know why it didn't suit me well.

I engross myself in reading a file. I hear knocking sound on door.

"Come in" I said and next second her sweet face came in my view. She's like a kitten peeking from door. I didn't look at her showing her my full anger which is flew in air the next second she enter. She came with a coffee mug. From slowly footsteps she came and softly put the coffee mug on table front of me. I look at her every action from corner of my eyes, pretending myself busy in file.

"Coffee" She said softly and standing there waiting for my reply. She's nervous I can saying definitely by looking at her fidgeting with her kurta corner more scratching her thumb.

"Hmm" I hummed without looking at her. I want her to took a step forward to me I will held her , just one step from her. Silence of past days is now enough for me it already cross every limit of my patience.

She didn't said anything and turned to go. I'm disappointed, didn't I'm trust worthy for her. Enough capable to hear her....

She took some steps to go I close my eyes in frustration. I can hear her payal sound walking towards door. I opened my eyes when I didn't hear that sound. She's there before two steps to door, standing there. I lean on chair and close my eyes whatever is happening is break us apart.

Again I hear her payal sound but it came closer. Didn't she want to go? She stand near me. I smell her sweet scent which drive me crazy.

She poking my arms with her finger.

"Suniye"

That's it now I will show her who I'm. I pull her to me. She perfectly landed on my lap. I snaked my arms around her waist securing her near me. Her hands on my chest. Our faces are close so close. Her eyes were close lips parted breathing heavily. Her small hairs strands fall on her face. She's beautiful breath taking beautiful. I closely look at her face filling every gap from past days. Slowly she opens her eyes and look at me with shy eyes. I wait two seconds to control my urge to kiss her breathlessly  and hug her tight.

My face in her neck crook inhaling her intoxicating smell. Her hands on my arms trying to figuring out our position. I rubbed my nose near her neck pulling her more close to myself. Slowly she circled her arms  around my neck hugging me. Silence passed between us only we can listen our heartbeats feel our breathing. Her presence is enough for my life to make it a life.

"Suniye na" She said softly, making different patterns on my back, after some minutes of silence she's still in my embrace. I smile on her cuteness.

"Kahiye jaan" I said more nuzzle my nose in her neck. Her hands stop to making patterns

I break  hug and look at her. Her eyes is down in shyness. I tucked her falling hairs behind her ear and cupped her face make her look at me. Her doe eyes looking innocently at me. Without wasting time I kiss her forehead both eyes and her both cheeks. A red hue appear on her face proving my effect on her.

"I missed you Moon" I said pulling her more  close to me. Her soft body tense hearing me. She rested her head on my shoulder taking long breath. I circled my arms around her taking her in my arms.

"I'm sorry" She said her voice mixed with guilt and sadness. No its  not her fault I know, whatever happened in her past bad or worsen she always a victim on that. She's never at fault I know her, her soul is pure she never harm anyone.

"No jaan I'm sorry it's my fault......" I said breaking hug and cupped her cheek with one hand

"No no Avinash it's not your fault. You just trying to help that injured man to reached to hospital and I...." She said but not able further her eyes become moist with unshed tears.

Yes I lied to her after seeing her panic state from blood I decided I do not let her know my real identity until her fear is gone. I told her that I saw a injured man on road at night and in the process of reaching him to hospital my shirt get stained with blood

But the reality is that a man getting tabs on me and in that process he reach to Aarushi and i never let any harm to her. I send lakshya after him to catch him and no he didn't on day off at the day of checkup he was busy to finding that tratior.

I kiss her forehead for long second than her both eyes and cheeks. She giggle on this...

Finally after a week I hear her giggling and smiling, whenever she put a fake smile to hide her tears and fears my heart ache.

"Do you want to share"? I asked her caresses her cheek with my thumb softly. I can ask  that bastard brother of her and took my answers as his life is becoming hell because of me but I want her to tell me, open up to me share her fears with me and I will gave her all my happiness and took all her pain.

She again stiff to her place and gulp in fear. Her eyes seems like a play recorder which shows her the fearing mirror of her life. She rested her head on my shoulder I secure her in my arms by one hand around her stomach and other around her shoulders. She started to play with my shirt buttons.

Author's pov

Till this Aarushi know that she had to tell Avinash some part of her past. Not for herself to feel less burden, for Avinash who waited for her, who was longing for her.

"I have hemophobia" She said taking a long breath. It's hard to tell them a hidden part of yourself. When you had no one with you when ever you want, when you cry at your misery you lost the feeling of having someone. Even if that person try hard to be with you, you start to push him because you always handle everything on your own and now you didn't know how to put that feeling into words. There was a nagging thought what they trust you or you are just wasted your emotions

Avinash didn't stop her still rubbed her shoulder and hairs to ease her pain. He wanted that she feel his presence near her everytime

"Its related to my mumma Papa's death" She said and tear escape from her eyes.

"You want to talk about that?" Avinash asked her calmly.

"Not now but I will" She said clutching his shirt in her small fist.

He kissed her hairs and her forehead saying

"I will always there for you jaan"

"Avinash Suniye" hearing her Avinash heart flutter in joy

"Khahiye ishi" he said replying with full sincerity

"Vo ....tomorrow is my first teej and I will keep a fast and as ritual I have to give some gifts to maa. So if you are free can you come with me for shopping? Otherwise I will ask Abhi bhaiya, Abeer or harshu" She asked him looking at him with her doe eyes. It's hard for Avinash  to say no to her

"OK we will go to shopping but it's not necessary for you to keep fast" Avinash said as he is concerned about her health and the idea of starving herself is not fitted with him.

Aarushi face fell hearing him thought he didn't forgive her.

"But I want to" Aarushi said blinking her eyes request him through eyes to say yes to it

He cupped her cheek and caress it with his thumb. "Jaan I'm worried about your health "

"I'm fine Avinash please"

"Fine"

Aarushi smile whole heartedly and hugged him. In afternoon both went for shopping as plan. Aarushi buy a saare and matching earrings for Radhika and Avinash help her with it. This is the first time both went for shopping. As per Aarushi's request Avinash didn't take guards inside the mall and to avoid any situation he wear mask and cap to hide his face. His full focus on Aarushi he follow her like a lost puppy. Girls drooling over him seeing his perfectly fit body and his brown eyes makes him more handsome. Aarushi feel every female eye on her husband but he like a  lost puppy holding her saree pallu only follow her ignoring the world around him this makes Aarushi's heart flutter. After buying saree for Radhika both went for jewelry shop and start to find perfect pair for Radhika. Avinash help her as he knows which type of diamond his mother like most. When Aarushi busy in shopping for Radhika,  Avinash went to buy a perfect gift for her. As he already over the moon hearing his wife keep fast for him  it's his  duty to atleast appreciate her.

Aarushi's pov

After shopping we went for eat something but he can't  took off his mask so we pack our food and sat in car at parking and start eat while sharing some random chit chat. When this morning maa told me about teej i instantly told her that I keep the fast. As first she also didn't want saying I'm weak and it will affect my health but I insist her and she agree. She is more excited about it as she wanted to host the function at Rathore Mansion. She said she always want to host it but she is alone there as Harshu is with them but as she didn't keep fast so her other friends never agree on it.

But I'm worried about one thing. What will his reaction. I need to ask him it's better to ask him before because if he gets angry after it's really hard to handle him.

"Ishi....where are you lost"? He asked me and I stop thinking. He eat his salad and here I'm eating a cheese burger with coke.

"Avinash actually for tomorrow's function Maa also invite Manisha di and Neeraj Jiju. Is it okay for you? If you want I said no to them" I asked him in hesitation as I know he didn't like them but they are my part of family.

He put salad box aside and held my one hand and kiss the back of it.

"No i don't have any problem until and unless they don't harm you. If they harm you slightly I don't spare them. Ok" he said in his cold and dangerous tone. His eyes burning in holded anger which may burst on anyone. This time he is not the Avinash I know it's someone else.

I gulped and nodded in yes as words are hard to recite. He sign me to eat my burger and I turning my gaze from him and finish my food as soon as possible. He didn't said anything after that and busy in his phone. I finish my food and put all empty boxes in a paper bag to throw them after in dustbin.

"Full"? He asked me and took tissue paper from box. I nodded in yes but his next action froze me.

He lean towards me and wipe my lips softly looking directly to my eyes. His intense gaze feel similar to me. I try to not looking in his eyes but his eyes is so captivating I can't take my eyes off. He softly wipe near my lips my lips parted automatically a smirk came on his face. Then he wipe my fingers softly his gentle touch, my neck hair stand on his mere touch. I melt there I don't know everything seems faded around us. It's only us....

"Hmm, your lipstick is didn't smudged proof we need to change it for future use" he said gave one look at the tissue paper next looking at me. I'm still in daze

What.....smudged proof.....future use...what it means?

I didn't figure out what it mean? His smirk grow wider looking at my calculating face. Ooo..shit...it mean that .....kiss....

My eyes wider hearing his shameless talk. I look at him and he start to laugh

How can he be so shameless? I can definitely say my face turned pink till now. He has no filter...

I glare at him but  I'm not angry his smiling face is millions worth. He is a cold shoulder person but for me he is opposite to that.

He looks beautiful while laughing just like a small child.

"Jaan don't glare at me you look more cute" he said smiling held my hand and pull me towards him. My face bumped with his chest and he kiss my hairs. I tucked them behind my ears and looked at him.

"By the way who was that you so called baby and prince whom you were talking in morning" he asked me imitating baby and prince words. He is jealous more jealous to I thought. From where he remembered that thing.

I smile internally hearing his jealousy words. I look at him he is impatiently waiting for an answer.

I took my hands to his hairs and fixing it with my fingers.

"He is Kittu, Manisha di and Neeraj jiju's son. He is a cute and calm baby"

"Jaan this is not fair I'm your only baby and it's final" he said in his final decision. He is looking so cute right now complaining like a child, a irritated child whose candy is stolen

I can't hold myself and kissed his cheek and pulling it

"You are so cute"

He turned red. What the great Avinash Singh Rathore is blushing. So this is the after effect of my kissing him. I missed it last time but now it is worth watching. He stopped blabbering and start to rub his neck.

"You are blushing...Oo my god" I said in teasing smile. He turned his face to steering wheel and start the engine.

We went back to the Mansion whole ride he start to teasing me. I'm more than happy that today I decide to fight with my fear and trust him. Even it's not his fault he wait for me to open up and give me space to think properly.

He is nice

..

Do I like him????

...

Probably yes....or noo...

...

Probably yes...

..

More than yes...

We reach Mansion till evening as now he start to drive in speed limit. He don't like it but I want his safety and for it I told him to drive safely.

He pick all shopping bags and gave to maids to put them at our room door. We both sat on couch in living room as everyone already settle there and maa told them about tomorrow's planning.

My first teej...first function as a wedded woman...hope everything will be good.

We chat and laughed and teased each other but then a voice blow our happy bubble.

It's a gun shot sound....no no two gun shots.....

It's came from door....

I  am terrified hearing it my heart beat peeked hearing it. I looked at Avinash and hide myself in his chest

"We are back"  I hear male sounds but who????

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