Chapter 16: Self-Loathing

“In the bathroom… in the second door… sniff…” she did her best to hide her sobs amid the noise of the cinema. “Why me… sniff?”

It wasn't even 5 PM, much earlier than the promised time. Her mother had contacted her only to give her a horrifying ultimatum.

“In a box… behind the toilet…” Elynne followed the instructions she had been given before the call ended. “This must be it… I don't want to…”

Just as instructed, she found a metal box inside a paper wrapper. It looked like any portable safe.

She brought her phone close to the reader it had… and it unlocked with a click that startled her.

“Ah… this has to be a joke…” she was horrified to see the contents. She simply couldn't comprehend how her mother could be so malevolent. “It's the same gun I bought…”

Less than a week ago, Elynne had decided to end the problem that was her mother. She had the opportunity when her sister came to see her at the workshop to tell her she was home.

But… she couldn't even draw the weapon. A nine-millimeter Walther PPK/S, domestic manufacture. Thea Reed had snatched it from her daughter, but now she held it in her hands, in the cinema inside Aven Veritas… a place where they search you from top to bottom, with X-ray machines and metal detectors to enter. They even ask for a declaration of the objects you're carrying.

“How did she manage to get it in here?”

A question that didn't matter. She could have bribed the guards, paid some merchant, or used a means that defies sanity. The fact is that, poetically, her mother had left her the weapon that Elynne was going to use to kill her… all so she would use it against the boy she liked.

Simply diabolical…

“Ah… ugh… sniff…” Elynne's sobs ached in her heart.

The mere idea made her almost vomit right there in the bathroom.

BRRRR

“Ah… the phone…” As if it were a nightmare from which she couldn't wake up, Elynne answered. “Thea… I'm in the…”

“I know where you are. Did you like the gift? It's called justice. Look at you trying to murder me… this is what you get. Actions have consequences.” The coldness with which her mother insulted her had begun to destroy Elynne's heart. “I hope you know how to use it. Did someone teach you?”

“That… I think…”

“I think? How exasperating. Either you know or you don't know. What's this 'I think'? I wish your intelligence wasn't a concern of mine. What did you buy it for then? That excess of incompetence is what leads you to this situation.”

“Sorry… I'm sorry…”

“How disgusting. Now you're trying to make me feel pity. You should be ashamed of that way of acting.” Thea attacked her daughter almost like an enemy. “Listen carefully, because I don't want to repeat it. I'll explain to you how to use that thing. Put on your earphones.”

It was maddening… loose memories passing without order. Mom screaming. Mom ignoring her pleas. Anything was done wrong. And if it was right, it was a waste of time. Her contempt… not even insults… when she stuttered and… the teacher, not her mother, was the one who saved her… and they ended up accusing her of abuse.

Each thing passed through her head like a hammer hitting her heart. Everything would be easier if her mother's actions were direct, but no. They were always linked to her flaws, her mistakes, her weaknesses. It would be easy if her mother saw herself as a good mother or a decent person… But she herself recognizes her cruelty…

The only light… Ien. Elynne was twelve years old. A child taking care of another. The mother… disappeared, as always. No school… knowing nothing… and with a baby in her arms. She hadn't even finished elementary school. But she was her ray. Her only ray.

Yes, she took care of her when she was little… although sometimes it seemed more like she treated her like a doll or a pet. It was inevitable that Elynne would end up seeing her sister as a hope.

So now, that mother who had never given or taught her anything but life's harshness, was going to explain to her how to use a firearm… how to kill. That, very probably, was the only thing that woman could teach her daughter.

The weapon felt heavy in her hands, heavier than when she bought it.

“Do you see that small lever? Push it down to release the safety and decock it.”

She followed the instructions. After a small click from the weapon's hammer, she gave a small jump, thinking she had fired.

“Iiik!” Elynne let out a small shriek.

“That you got scared by that…” Her mother sighed heavily. “Now load the magazine. You just have to push.”

“Okay…” Her clumsy hands could barely mount the magazine as she ordered.

“Finally, put on the silencer.”

“How do I—?”

“It has threads, look carefully. I don't remember you going blind. Is it too difficult a task for you?”

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“I'm sorry, I'm sorry.” Elynne gripped the handle, kneeling in the bathroom with tears falling to the floor. “I'm so sorry… sniff…”

“Oh, poor little thing… although I prefer that you try to kill me rather than deal with your emotional manipulations. You're not going to control me with pity. Seriously, what a martyrdom it is to put up with you.”

Her mother also advised her on how to shoot, as well as the ideal moment. Including, specifically, the best scenes to do it.

Since it was a solid projection movie, the entire parking lot was transformed into the movie's setting. All outside noises were isolated and the surround sound, accompanied by other sensory factors, were transmitted in the projection. In short, if a movie scene took place on the beach, the audience smelled the sea and felt the sea breeze.

In the movie “Summer That Never Comes” there were several musical scenes that could be used as the moment to shoot. Somehow, unimaginably, her mother had that knowledge…

“How did she know…? She shouldn't…” Elynne wondered to herself.

Yes, it was strange, since it had been only a few hours since she knew she would go to the movies, and a few minutes since she would see “that” movie. But all she dared to ask was:

“Why… do I have to kill Roger? What did he do to you?”

“Isn't wanting to punish you enough? You tried to kill me, you bought a weapon to shoot me. You can't do whatever you want and expect there to be no consequences.”

It was expected. That woman's cruelty was capable of that… but still… it didn't feel like it was the only reason. It was too convoluted a plan…

“I don't want to think anymore… please… brain… stop feeling…” Inside her, every idea she had became torture. “Disconnect… everything.”

“The most important thing is that you grip the handle firmly. Any of the three musical numbers I indicated will work for you.” After fifteen minutes in the bathroom, the conversation finally ended. “Aim well… at the head… Hide the weapon wrapped in your bag. That's all.”

“Yes…” That word was an act of submission.

“Save Ien. Only you can prevent my daughter from dying. You have everything to achieve it… just pull the trigger at the right moment.” She paused. “If you don't do it, when the movie ends, go look for her corpse on the lower floor.”

Elynne bit her lower lip, containing her frustration.

“Don't you dare hang up the call and keep the left earphone. I want to hear everything that's said. Did I explain it according to someone of your capabilities?”

“…”

“Answer me!” Thea shouted.

“…just… kill me already.”

“Aaah…” Perhaps that was the deepest sigh Thea had ever made in her life. “Ien should never have trusted you. As a mother, I'll give you what you're asking for…”

“I-it was just a joke!” Lynne responded as quickly as she could upon hearing her mother.

“I'M NOT PLAYING AROUND. Listen, I'll give you the only motherly advice that a disappointing sister like you deserves: leave all hope behind.”

“Leave hope behind… yes, that sounds like good advice.” Elynne thought with a broken heart.

KNOCK-KNOCK

Someone knocked on the bathroom door.

“Everything alright, miss?” asked one of the cinema workers.

“Ighhh!” Elynne had to cover her mouth to keep from screaming.

The bathrooms were individual stalls, so it wasn't surprising that if someone took too long, the attendants would get suspicious… mainly of substance use.

“Stay calm. Tell them you're coming out.” Through the earpiece, Thea began giving her orders.

“Yes… I'm coming out.” She ended up putting things back in place and flushed the toilet to cover up.

She washed her face to hide the tears. She checked herself in the mirror, trying to fix anything that might betray her nerves… but she was the type of girl who would never carry makeup, much less know how to use it.

“Even in that… I'm a disaster…” She lamented about something she would never normally lament.

She left the bathroom to find the worker. A young woman with black hair with blue highlights.

“S-sorry for the delay.”

“Don't worry, dear customer. I hope you weren't doing anything strange inside.”

“Huh? N-no… No…” Her acting was so bad that it was easy to see her mental state.

The worker just smiled at her and walked past.

“Wait!” She worried that she would find the box behind the toilet.

“Don't worry, miss. Everything is fine.” The woman approached her ear to whisper: “I'll take care of what you left behind. I'll give you something to calm you down.”

Elynne was bewildered, frozen. She disconnected from the situation, until suddenly, the woman stuck a finger in her mouth… introducing a pill.

Elynne's reaction? She just trembled, nothing more.

“Swallow it, it will help you with your job.”

She obeyed like a person hypnotized by a magician. She tasted the young woman's finger, which when it came out left a thread of saliva that broke.

Likewise, she didn't know what it was or what the effects were. But she understood one thing: that woman worked with her mother. Her mother's words took on a new dimension. She was being watched in every sense to ensure she carried out the assignment…

They were taking too much trouble for a crime to be committed.

“I hope it's become clear to you, Elynne, that I have eyes everywhere.” After those words from Thea, a chill ran down her spine. “When it's all over, you'll know what to do with yourself.”

“Leave hope behind. That's for the best.” The last tear that Elynne shed before returning to the cinema fell into her mouth, in that smile of someone who has severed ties with sanity.

She began walking like an automaton, lost without feeling anything, keeping her mind blank, which was occasionally assaulted by images of Ien dying or of Roger's head pierced. In between, some image of her mother, looking at her with indifference.

The movie was about to start.

She crossed half the parking lot to meet Roger, who had been wandering around looking for her.

“Where had you gotten to?” His voice, genuinely worried, snapped her out of her trance.

“Everything's fine. I just had to go to the bathroom, that's all.” She tried to keep her broken voice from showing. “Let's go to our seats. Let's go now; I don't want to miss it.”

She said all that without blinking.

“Are you sure everything's okay? You don't seem like it.”

“Of course I am!” She made an exaggerated gesture, raised her right hand, and threw her left leg back.

Roger had never seen her like this.

Elynne turned around, crossing her hands behind her back.

“The movie's about to start… Ien put too much effort into this. It'll be worth watching. I'm excited to see a movie with you. Even though my stomach hurts, it doesn't matter. The weather is perfect, and everything is going wonderfully. Did you buy the popcorn? Ien took the drinks in his backpack. Would you buy me one? Please, I'm thirsty. Diet, please. Heh, heh.”

Definitely, nothing was okay. Her mother's voice tormented her from within; in her imagination she could hear her laughing at her incompetence.

“Well, if that makes you feel better.” But before leaving to buy, he approached her, not knowing she was hiding an earpiece with her hair. “Remember that I'm on your side.”

Roger went to the food stand. Needless to say, Elynne was left heartbroken.

“How cheesy of him… Not to mention it's more than you deserve. What would he say if he knew you were about to murder him? A question that will never be answered. After all, you chose Ien over his life.”

And Thea finished driving in the last nail that was missing…