Vol 2. Ch 7.

It was nearly the end of her time at the orphanage, when Sophia rushed through the forests nearby and visited the pharmacy before running back towards the orphanage with her bag filled with supplies, out of breath when finally reaching those metal gates.

’’Did you find everything, Miss Sophia?’’ Gordon waited at the porch for her, worry written all over his old and gentle features.

’’Y— yes.’’ Sophia stopped to catch her breath, taking the moment to lean against the porch railing, ’’Everything we need.’’

They rushed inside and towards the kitchen. Sophia washed her hands carefully and placed everything neatly on the table. There were herbs, medicine supplies and masks for hygiene. One of the children had fallen terribly ill. He’d become so sick, the fever was on the verge of melting his entire body inside out if allowed to continue. Peony had asked one of the employees to run and get help from Delmaer’s hospital, and came back with a doctor a couple of hours later. The doctor kept the fever within control the best she could, and gave a diagnosis of dire infection through a small wound on his feet, one that the eight-year-old child had not thought much of at the time it had happened. However, his condition kept worsening at a rapid pace. For some reason, the Dir Naer of North was nowhere to be seen— a strange thing considering the roads were shut and he hadn’t informed about taking a day off. The hospital wasn’t able to get in contact with him, and neither was Ren when Sophia asked him if he could assist in trying to locate his whereabouts. Ren, of course, complied gladly to be part of the search, and as he went around asking and trying to find the Dir Naer’s location, also sending a few of his men to do the same, Sophia was busy with her own tasks at hand.

She had gotten the doctor's approval for a few additional treatments along with the medication and knew exactly what they needed. Gathering those supplies kept her busy for the entire noon. For all her life, she’d studied all the possible, including anti-inflammatory herbs for fever caused by infected wounds, and began to combine the necessities. White oak was known to treat infection, made into an extract with water as a solvent. Once the doctor had to return to the hospital, Sophia stayed beside the child for the entire night ahead. She washed the wound with the extract, then made a poultice with her knowledge of herbs, and kept it covered with a clean cloth over the wound. Sophia changed the cloth throughout the entire night without a shut eye, meticulously checking the clock to keep the material used fresh. She tapped the sweat from the child’s forehead with a cold piece of fabric soaked in clean water in a metal vat beside her, and did not whisper a word nor hum a gentle melody. Completely silent. Only the heavy breathing of the child filling the room. It felt like one of the longest nights in her entire life. And went without saying, that even before the night had the time to fully fall upon them, everyone in the town already knew about an emergency at the orphanage, and just as quickly, they heard about the miraculous recovery of the child the next day.

Of course, it was all exaggerated. The infection had calmed down a little by the next morning—true—but not healed. The child got an hour or two of sleep himself. Otherwise he had been moaning in pain with the high fever somewhere in between consciousness. Regardless, he began to show signs of recovery as the medicine given by the doctor and Sophia’s efforts began to kick in and he finally fell asleep once the sun began to peek behind the silver birches.

The word travelled uncontrollably. To say that the young Lady, who originally arrived with the Commander and whom she had also saved from death, had astoundingly saved yet another person, was too much of a reach from reality, yet another testimony of the fact that people will always run with the most compelling story. Stories which did not reach the woman herself.

’’I cannot express our gratitude enough, Miss Sophia.’’ Peony held her hands in prayer over her trembling lips, ’’We wouldn’t have been able to survive through the night without you.’’

’’I only did what I could.’’ Sophia tried to offer a comforting smile despite the darkened bags under her own eyes, ’’Glad to hear that he’ll be okay.’’ They both cleaned away the sweaty and dirtied cloths, ready to get them washed later. The doctor had paid another visit the first thing in the morning, after caring for other acute patients through the night in the hospital herself. Impressed by Sophia’s rumored knowledge and skills now witnessed with her very own eyes, the doctor had even offered an apprenticeship for Sophia under her own teaching, but as honored as Sophia felt, she knew she’d have to leave soon. After all, Marié and the family waited for her return. And Grandpa Bill— he was somewhere out there. He must’ve been.

But despite the early decline, Sophia did not shut down the offer completely, promising to keep it in mind once everything had settled.

Perhaps becoming a doctor could be a good path in life. A doctor, huh? I never thought about the future much. Always content with how things were. My small, entire world in the beautiful Brifena surrounded by the hills and the colorful forests and the thin waterfall finishing the view like the most valuable painting. If things were still how they used to be, I’m sure I wouldn’t be having these thoughts now, either. I’d still be known as the woodcutter’s granddaughter who was one very ordinary day dropped there as a skinny ten-year-old. A child who’d just lost everything she loved and knew. I’d still be working alongside Grandpa Bill, helping take care of our cabin. I’d keep filling my father's notebook. Fetch water with Marvy and read stories for her, sing her lullabies before bedtime. Help Marié and Derrik when Tristan was away for work. I had a normal, fulfilling, and absolutely purposeful life. Never did I feel as if I should be anywhere else. Now, I don’t have much of a choice. After I’ve helped the Monree-Klonfar’s, I’ll go and search for Grandpa Bill. After I find him, will we help rebuild Brifena? Perhaps find our footing in Lufin— or should we come here? Delmaer seems like a place where another woodcutter could make a living. There’s not a single place that doesn’t need firewood at hand, especially the cold Delmaer. Perhaps I could begin my studies at the hospital. And Sir, no, Ren. I think I’d meet him often— Sophia let her thoughts run free as she finished cleaning the previous night away.

Everything will work out. It must—

Sophia sat on the velvet couch of Ren’s office while he worked in silence around his large, deep mahogany table, narrow eyes pointed towards his endless documents about finances and losses due to the ongoing situation. Sophia couldn’t help but notice the poorly suffocated grunt, furrowing forehead and the index finger rubbing the side of the pulsing temple from time to time. She couldn’t ask much about his affairs, but knew that the work kept on piling on his table since the Duke and the Duchess had been stuck at the Kingdom Capital ever since the one-hundredth celebration of The Great Independence, which Ren himself had gladly escaped. Sophia did not know why he seemed to be at least pleased about being absent from such a once-in-a-lifetime event, but was glad to see a hint of optimism no matter what the reason.

Sophia, whilst stealing glances at the man every now and then, went through new additions to her notebook and did some finishing touches with the illustrations of the plants. She had just spent her last day at the orphanage, the day that came to an end with a large meal together with everyone. The child’s wound had also healed well, and he was already back outside running among the other kids.

Everything turned out well. On her last day, she received countless praises from Gordon and Peony, with the other employees joining in until she was as red as a beetroot, enough to make her squirm.

Now, finally with some quiet time in the office, Sophia peeked towards Ren again with her gaze prolonged each time. The man who remained focused. His dark hair pushed back exposed his forehead, and the line in the corners of his eyes was sharp as a razor with concentration. His lips twitched once the inside was bitten between the front teeth.

She couldn’t help but acknowledge his undeniable charm. His handsome features worthy of a painting. She couldn’t help but remember all of his expressions since the very first night they met. His intense gaze. Mischievous smirks and calm, softened smiles. Sure, at first, Sophia might’ve seen him as calm, collected and hard to read. But not for long. For some reason, she found herself understanding those tiny expressions, lasting for only a small moment between them. She did not know his entire story, but knew enough to draw somewhat accurate conclusions. Ren was much more soft-spoken and gentler than she had ever imagined. To be entirely truthful, she found it odd how such a man with a high, noble status with a high ranking in the military could be unwed at his age. Either he wasn’t interested, or they were still in talks for the right partner. Sophia had heard from the old gossiping socialites of Brifena how marriage between the rich and nobles was always an exchange of some sort. A contract of wealth and power. And an only son of a powerful Duke and Duchess with no plans to get married did not seem at all possible.

Will Ren find someone, as well?— Sophia’s heart clenched with the question. Yes, undoubtedly. That was the unpleasant answer her mind offered. While the stinging sensation made her feel uncomfortable, to say the least, Sophia’s eyes widened as a memory suddenly surfaced from the depths not often searched these days. The memory of Mother Harriett fixing a hole in her beloved dress while Sophia laid on her stomach in their single bedroom, softly kicking her feet in the air when Mother Harriett said with a darling smile; Love is the most sweetest of pain, and the cruelest of bliss. Treat it with much care, and cherish it once it comes your way.

At the time and for many years to come, Sophia didn’t understand the meaning of those simple words, shrugged her shoulders at the time and continued on with the day like any child would. Of course, she later applied the same thinking to her other relationships. Grandpa Bill, Marié, Marvy and of course Derrik and Vivian. Now, resurfaced after all those years, she might’ve never been romantically in love before, but nothing could hurt as the emotions dwelling now beneath her breast. It was different from the loss she had already endured, knowing he was right there but so out of reach at the same time. How simply having him at the reach of her eyes could bring the softest of comfort, but the thought of him someday marrying another held tight around the gentle emotions. Fighting for dominance.

’’What is it, Sophia?’’ Ren asked after noticing the tilted head and locked, hazy eyes of wonder directed towards him, ’’Did you say something?’’

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Sophia, still getting used to hearing her name so sweetly slip from between those lips, snapped out of it, quickly searching for a reason for her absentminded, silly behavior. She happened to notice a swarm of birds pass by the tall windows of the office, and those lucky bastards shall become her scapegoat, ’’I was wondering. Do you think people will be able to fly someday?’’ Oh, she wanted to crunch her entire face from the cringing embarrassment and sink into the soft velvet. Sophia was sure that Ren would think the question to be the stupid ramblings of a complete simpleton.

’’I’m sure we will.’’ Ren lowered the papers down for the first time since they began their shared work session, ’’I happen to know someone, a complete nutcase but a brilliant mind, who’s already made a gliding device of some sort.’’ He leaned against the chair, now more relaxed, as if thanking her for taking his mind elsewhere for a moment, ’’The man keeps jumping off high mountain grounds of Tempe Deur. Worries me, that old, stubborn man.’’ Ren chuckled faintly while shaking his head, and suddenly, Sophia did not feel at all embarrassed.

’’Would be interesting to have a conversation with him.’’ Sophia smiled, ’’I’m sure he has many stories and ideas to share.’’

’’I remind you, he is an old nutcase.’’ Ren added as if he hadn’t mentioned already, ’’But I will take you to meet him, if we find a chance.’’ To that, Sophia shared another smile, ’’You’re too kind, Sophia. I fear you might end up helping him by jumping as a test subject yourself.’’ Ren hid the silly emotion behind sarcasm.

’’I’m open to new experiences.’’ Sophia shrugged and returned to her notebook, sinking into the velvet couch now more relaxed.

’’Absolutely not— anything but that.’’ Ren grimaced with a firm objection met with Sophia’s bright giggle.

’’How reliable, Ren.’’ She said gently, hiding everything but her eyes behind the notebook with a worn-out leather cover.

He must’ve noticed. I’ve always been like this. It’s been a part of me and how I measure my worth. At first, as a child, I did everything I could around the house, knowing that after a long day of work, the tired expressions of my parents would begin to glow as I bragged to them about all the tasks I'd already taken care of so they wouldn’t have to. I wouldn’t even let them step in the house properly before jumping up and down. I loved their praises. I loved how genuinely amazed they were, how they’d hug me and lift me up. I wanted to help and do my part, as they did everything for me. I do not remember a single time being alone in that small house at the Kingdom Capital when I ever felt sad or lonely. Until that fatal day, after the washed and peeled potatoes soaking in a pot were left uncooked, the home with no one returning, I did everything I could to keep my new position in Grandpa Bill's home. Not that he made me work extra, but because it was the only way I knew how to impress. Suddenly, what I had been so proud about became my last resort. Over time, Grandpa Bill made sure without words or anything too obvious, that I wasn’t there to be his little house elf. And I could finally sink into the comfortable life I had there. It became everything I needed to protect.

Protect. I can do that again, can’t I? Grandpa Bill. He's somewhere, isn’t he? I haven't lost my family again. They're all in my reach. Everything is material—replaceable—rebuildable.

This is not the same as ten years ago.

I can fix this—

Deep in her continuing thoughts, Sophia hadn’t heard the loud stomping footsteps, or how Ren’s ears perked ready from them. Then, a loud banging against the office door flinched her awake into reality.

’’Come in.’’ Ren said as he set aside the paperwork, the door swinging open that instant.

’’Sir!’’ One of the manor employees wheezed from the lack of air after running through the many hallways, ’’A carriage! Approaching! The roads must’ve been opened!’’ He said after each sharp breath.

Sophia straightened her back on the couch and Ren jumped up from his chair. This was it. Finally.

’’Good—’’ Ren took his coat and swung it over his shoulders, not sure of who arrived to bring the news, ’’I’ll take it from here.’’

Soon enough, and beyond all expectations, Sophia found herself seated around a table with the famously known Duke of North, Benedict VonGehall, and his wife, the Duchess of North, Katherine VonGehall. The only family of Ren's. Never in her life did she even entertain a thought of having dinner with such luxurious, elegant nobles who carried themselves high even after such a long travel. Of course, Ren explained to his parents what had happened, and the reason for why a woman not too far from his own age was living in their mansion, brought in by the man himself. You see, it wasn’t very proper to begin with, but they had a valid reason for the circumstances.

’’So, I heard you helped around the orphanage.’’ Katherine cut a tiny piece of smoked salmon with the silver cutlery and ate it without barely opening her small mouth. Her back was straight, the long brown hair tied in a complex braid. She looked young for her age, and something about her way of looking down while addressing Sophia instead of speaking directly to her created an unsettling emotion, stirring up something deep in Sophia’s stomach.

’’Yes, Your Grace.’’ Sophia nodded and tried not to drop her knife from nervousness, ’’I was introduced by Madam Goldwind.’’

’’Well, you seem well-mannered, although a little scrawny.’’ Katherine sighed, ’’But as I already said, we are very grateful for your service.’’

My service? Me saving him? I guess that is one cold way to put it. But they don’t know that we’ve actually become quite close. Haven’t we?— Sophia thought, but continued to only keep the polite smile on her lips. For some reason, the Duchess’s words sounded belittling. Even after hearing the story from Ren, they did not shed a tear for almost losing their son, nor did they share a warm hug, but almost as if they were scolding him for getting shut in the first place. Ren even stood in the position of a military man as if giving a report instead of telling scary news to his family. How odd, Sophia had also wondered. Truly odd.

’’It is unfortunate that you missed the grand celebration, my son.’’ Katherine switched her attention towards him now, ’’The Southern Emréla’s noble families were there as well.’’ She raised an eyebrow, knowing he caught on to her not-so-subtle intentions.

Ren hummed with a low voice and kept his focus on the meal instead. What made it unbearable to even entertain an answer or continuation for the conversation was the fact that people had lost their homes, lost their lives, and what she seemed to be concerned about was his absence from a forced meeting with marriage in mind.

Ridiculous.

’’And that is why we already arranged another meeting at Emréla.’’ Katherine glanced at Ren from beneath half-closed eyelids.

The atmosphere felt heavy for Sophia, who’d been used to much more lighthearted, easygoing family dinners. Here, it felt as if Ren had been placed under a thin, sharp needle. Not visible but holding close as a threat. And once again, Ren did not answer with much, his lips pressed together and eyes flickering towards Sophia for only a millisecond, but enough for Benedict, who’d been silently and emotionlessly eating his meal and Katherine to take notice of.

Finally, Ren placed his decorated cutlery on the edge of the plate and tried not to sigh with too much frustration, ’’There is no time for such affairs, much less travel through the entire Agathen for such matters. The roads have finally been opened, and it will be hectic for weeks to come until we get back on track. And there are other matters that need attending—’’ He did not get to finish.

’’Of course, I can take care of such simple tasks.’’ Benedict scoffed in a very noble way, if that is even possible.

’’These are not matters of a Duke, father. Are you going to take care of the cadets, as well? And the other military bases around Agathen on top of that?’’ Ren stood his ground, and Sophia could only watch from the side with eyes lit up, finding herself rooting for him to continue the conversation which earlier felt like a weighing hand on her shoulder.

’’What is the point of fighting this? You’ve known for a very long time that we are going forward with the marriage plans. This should not have come as a surprise to you, dear son.’’ Katherine said, ’’I knew you simply had no interest in the beginning since both you and your father are much married to your work. But why do I sense this feeling— surely you do not wish to be wed out of love now, do you?’’ Her upper lip raised half an inch, careful with her facial expressions like a true Duchess should, but yet again glancing between Ren and Sophia. She seemed to always speak just enough and leave the rest for obvious body language.

Sophia looked down at her own hands resting on top of her thighs. She had been fiddling with her fingers and stopped to stare at the scars around her thin fingers. A proper Lady from a noble family would not have such imperfections. A proper Lady wouldn’t run in the woods, gathering plants and dirtying themselves voluntarily. What was a proper Lady even supposed to be like? Indeed, a man like Ren would have many lined up for marriage. All he’d have to do is choose one. But why did it feel so infuriating? The way his parents pushed him towards their own decisions. Had it always been like that, through his entire life? Must’ve been. Sophia felt a sudden stab through her chest. The realization that she’d never be even among the options. Leaving the Aurelius Manor and Delmaer as soon as possible, now that she could, would be the best option.

Before these feelings would have the chance to fully bloom. Before she couldn’t contain them anymore.

After all, Sophia and Ren had been around each other through the tough times. With certainty, the distance between them would wash away those emotions of attachment in no time.

Ren only sighed at Katherine’s words, giving her more ground to be suspicious, ’’Son, love is nothing more than an illusion designed to poison the mind with irresponsible choices. It makes you weak. Lose sight of what truly matters.’’

’’Then, what is it that truly matters again?’’ Ren asked, although knowing her answer by heart by now.

’’Your responsibility to the legacy of House VonGehall. Your part in all of Agathen, for the future to come.’’ Benedict answered, his voice even lower than Ren’s.

’’Power.’’ Ren nodded expressionlessly.

’’Precisely.’’ Benedict added.

’’I do not wish for love. I do not wish for marriage, either. What I wish is to do my duties. The times are hard. And something tells me they continue to be so, if not even worse.’’ Ren finally let out the frustrations, ’’Miss Sophia?’’ He did not give room for the parents to say another word, noticing her slip away in her thoughts, his way of rather casually addressing the young woman not going unnoticed by his parents.

’’I should begin my journey back as soon as possible.’’ Sophia said, fixing the hem of her dress, all wrinkled over the thighs from having to hear the conversation, ’’It’ll take longer now that I’ll be returning alone.’’

’’You don’t have to hurry—’’ Ren leaned towards her, but was immediately cut off by Katherine, yet again.

’’Of course, we shall prepare a horse for you first thing tomorrow morning. The earlier you leave, the better.’’ She seemed to enjoy the idea more than her unfinished dinner. Truly, the first time Sophia saw her faintly smile.

’’Thank you, Your Grace.’’ Sophia bowed her head, ’’I should go and prepare myself. If you’d excuse me—’’ She got up and thanked the butler who happened to come and check up on them. Ren watched her go until she was beyond the lavish double doors of the dining room, her expression imprinted in his mind. She seemed down.

’’A woodcutter’s granddaughter, you said?’’ Benedict asked, ’’Not a daughter?’’

’’Her family died in the paper factory of Kingdom Capital.’’ Ren answered, stoic.

’’Poor thing.’’ Katherine sighed with not much emotion, forcing Ren to try and avoid bringing his eyes towards the ceiling.

’’I’m finished here, as well. I should be the one to prepare a horse for Miss Sop— Dilamor.’’ Ren got up from his chair with the best excuse and truth at the same time. He should do that much, above all, he’d be doing so of his own free will. Something his parents couldn’t deny. If it was the last deed he could do for her.

Although Ren had already decided. It wouldn’t be the last. No matter what.

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