r u l e # 7

Rule #7 Wake up. There's no dating future.

Back out as soon as one of you starts to develop feelings. You have no right to get upset that she doesn't want the same things that you do, doesn't introduce you to her parents, doesn't allow you to stay the night or that she doesn't invite you for breakfast. Respect her boundaries and don't push it.

When you start to fall for your partner, it's game over.

......

Jake's erection went right away. However, that was a small consolation considering the situation he had landed in.

What would his friends do? If Sean were to meet the girl's parents, he would most definitely be in a neatly pressed dress shirt with a tie, and ten minutes after meeting him they would beg him to marry their daughter already, especially when they learned of his acceptance to MIT. Dylan, on the other hand, would probably make a desperate attempt to get away, even if he had to jump out of the window. If her dad were to stop him and raise a fist, Dylan wouldn't hesitate to fight back.

But Jake wasn't like either of them, which was why he found himself seated at the breakfast table, feeling like he was sitting on a mat made of pointy needles.

It was a big, round table in a brightly lit dining room, with a folding screen on one side that blocked the view from the living room, and a large fish tank on the other side. Jake felt like a prisoner brought in for questioning, so he counted the fish as a method of calming himself.

There were nine in total—some kind of goldfish, eight red ones and a lone black one. Their fins looked like flags in the wind as they swam around in the water.

"That's for good fortune," Mrs. Jiang explained, following his gaze. "Water attracts the energy of wealth and fish means abundance."

"We don't have fish at our house," Jake said. "No wonder my dad's not making any money."

Nobody smiled. Jake shifted in his seat.

"My mom is the only one that believes that feng shui nonsense," Jessica's younger sister, Michelle, said. Upon meeting him, she had simply smirked and glanced side way at Jessica, shaking her head and making tsking sounds. Jake could tell already that this young girl was going to give him hell. "See that black fish there? It's supposed to neutralize negative energy and ward off evil spirits, just like the folding screen there, but look, an evil spirit seemed to have gotten in through Jessica's room anyway." She smiled angelically at him.

Jake coughed.

"Jessica, we'll have a fish tank placed in your room as soon as possible," Mr. Jiang said with a straight face. "Can't have any weak corners." It seemed like a joke, but with him, Jake honestly couldn't tell.

Jessica pushed a hand through her hair and started talking in Mandarin. She appeared to be as uncomfortable as he was.

"Let's speak English in front of Jake," Mr. Jiang said. "And don't be dramatic. This isn't a Hong Men yen."

Whatever it was, it sounded scary. Jake threw a pleading glance her way, and Jessica cleared her throat. "It's a historical event about a feast thrown in a place called Hong Men. There was a conqueror who invited his enemy for dinner, during which the best food and wine was served, but he planned an assassination by having one of his generals perform a sword dance. The sword would miss 'by accident' and slit the throat of his enemy, who was as helpless as a fish on a cutting board," she said. "Now we use the phrase Hong Men yen to describe something with a masked ill intention."

Michelle grinned at him from across the table. "Frankly, it means a dinner party intended to kill the guests. Do you watch Game of Thrones? It's a little like the Red Wedding," she said helpfully.

It was pretty much what Jake imagined. He wasn't invited for breakfast because Mr. Jiang liked him. This was his twisted way of punishing him, by making him sit through this excruciating meal, and maybe he was to be stabbed with the kitchen knife at the end.

Jake pushed back his chair and stood up. "Mr. Jiang, Mrs. Jiang, Michelle, Jessica...I just want to apologize to everyone at the table for making this really awkward." He once jumped down from a 30 feet high waterfall, and he felt exactly like that as he took a deep breath and dove in this embarrassment. "Jess told me...um, I learned last night that Jessica was afraid of thunder, so I came here without thinking. It was an impulsive decision on my part and she had nothing to do with it, but she was too nice to ask me to leave. Nothing happened, I swear. We just talked and fell asleep. I understand that by sneaking in here I was being disrespectful to everyone, and I'm so sorry about that. I hope you forgive me."

He wondered if he should bow at the end. Was that a part of Chinese culture or was it Japanese? He decided on saying sorry again.

This time Mrs. Jiang smiled. "It's okay, Jake. Please sit down. We just want to get to know Jessica's friend a little better."

"We're having rice congee this morning," Mr. Jiang said, his demeanor completely relaxed, as if having a blond boy at the table was nothing out of the ordinary. "Would you like to try some?"

"We have century egg to go with it," Michelle said. "It's also known as thousand-year-old egg and was proudly selected by CNN as one of the grossest food in the world. You're so going to love it."

Jessica glared at her sister across the table. "Leave him alone. Jake, let me get you some cereal."

"Jess, it's fine. I'd love to try."

He smiled at the bowl in front of him, but his stomach did a small turn. Floating in the steaming white congee were pieces of black, translucent eggs, which looked like they had been through unspeakable horror. The egg white part was amber and the egg yolk part was dark greenish and grey, resembling some kind of mineral.

Mrs. Jiang told him that century eggs were preserved in a mixture of clay, salt and rice hulls for months. Something too difficult for him to comprehend—it had to do with chemicals—took place and changed the consistency and flavor.

Why would people go through so much trouble to turn a perfect egg into something like this? He picked up a piece with hesitance and put it into his mouth.

It was without a doubt the strangest food he had ever tasted. It was like all his senses were heightened; the yolk was creamier and saltier than cooked egg, and the white was like Jell-O with a rubbery texture. This tasted nothing like eggs.

This tasted like pain.

Oh my God. The things I do for you, Jessica River. He just wanted some casual sex to begin with and this was nothing he signed up for.

He chewed and smiled some more. Once he got past the strong sulfur taste, however, he thought it wasn't as awful as it appeared at first glance. He was just too fixated on scrambled eggs to open his mind to anything else. He shoved another piece into his mouth.

"Not bad at all," he said truthfully. "I think I'm starting to like it."

Century eggs are a little like relationship, actually. They need a little getting used to and they take lots of effort to make, but they are more interesting than revolting. Jake decided that it was something definitely worth trying.

Mrs. Jiang asked him of his hobbies, which was one of his favorite subjects. He spoke of camping trips, cycling, mountain climbing, and how he used to work as a camp counselor. "I like all kinds of outdoor activities."

Michelle smirked at him. "And some indoor activities too, I bet," she muttered under her breath.

"Shut up," Jessica said.

"Which university are you attending, Jake?" Mr. Jiang asked.

How Jake wished he could come up with something impressive right now, as he knew Jessica was going to Brown. Her father looked like the kind of person who would only be happy if he already had a doctor's license.

"The University of Connecticut, sir," Jake said. "I was offered a full basketball scholarship."

Mr. Jiang's eyebrows raised and he smiled. He actually smiled. "The UConn Huskies? They are incredible! Good job."

"Do you play basketball too?"

Michelle snorted. "My dad can't throw a ball to save his life, but he talks basketball really well. He knows all the stats and he can't stop making comments."

"Glad to meet someone who'd appreciate my knowledge," Mr. Jiang said. "What position do you play?"

"Jake plays small forward," Jessica said. "He's really good, and he spends his free time coaching kids voluntarily."

Kid, Jake thought, but he didn't bother correcting her. He liked that she sounded as if she was proud to present him in front of her family. The conversation went on for a while, and as the century eggs melted on his tongue, he began to enjoy his stay.

Mr. Jiang wasn't as stern as he envisioned, Mrs. Jiang was nothing but nice, Michelle was snarky but not unkind, and Jessica was—Jessica was impressed with his composure, he could tell. She even picked up a piece of fried bread stick from the plate and placed it in his bowl, which Jake took as an act of intimacy. She smiled at him and his heart did a small flop.

It all went incredibly well until the food was finished and Mr. Jiang turned to him.

"Jake, can I have a word with you in private?"

......

Here we go. He's going to murder me.

Jake stood rigidly around the kitchen door. He was eyeing his escape route. Mr. Jiang leaned against the sink, as leisurely as a jaguar licking its paw before it pounced.

How ironic this was, getting murdered for the one time he hadn't pulled out his dick.

"There are surveillance cameras all around the house," Mr. Jiang said. "As well as in the hotel."

Jake's face flamed.

He knew. When they met in the hotel lobby, it was definitely not the first time Mr. Jiang had seen his face.

"Jessica is eighteen and going to move out in two months," Mr. Jiang went on. "I don't approve of the things she does, but I can't monitor her forever. After she leaves it will be completely out of my control."

"I'm sorry," Jake said the only thing he could think of.

"I know girls her age. The more I go against something, the more she'll fight me. I can only try to understand it." He shook his head, looking a little sad. At that moment he became less like a lethal weapon and more like a father worried about his baby daughter. His eyes fixed on Jake's face, and Jake went right back to fearing him. "I know boys your age too. I won't ask you to make promises you don't even know the meaning of, but I want you to be honest with her."

"I've never lied to Jessica. I respect her."

Mr. Jiang gave him a curt nod. "I'll take your word for it."

They stared at each other for a while, until Jake broke the silence. "Sir, do I have your permission to keep seeing her?"

"You don't need my permission," Mr. Jiang said. "But I'd really appreciate it if you could press the doorbell like a normal person and let us know when you'd bring her back. I prefer seeing you in person instead of through a camera."

"Yes, yes, of course. I'll do that."

Mr. Jiang stepped away from the sink. "Jessica is a very sympathetic person," he said, "so when we come out, you can act like I gave you a hard time and you're terrified of me. She'll take pity on you and be nice to you."

"But why are you helping me?"

"I'll admit, you seem like an okay kid. Jessica could've done a lot worse and I'd rather she sticks to you instead of some punk."

Jake grinned. He didn't want to brag, but even Mr. Jiang had a crush on him. It was as close to a compliment as he could ever get from a father.

"I don't think I need to act on that part. I am terrified of you," he said without thinking. "Not that I don't think you're super cool. You're so chill it's awesome."

"Jake, I said you seem okay. Don't start acting like we're best friends."

Jake's grin melted from his face.

You're quite the heartbreaker, Mr. Jiang.