r u l e # 5

Rule #5 Don't hook up with friends, but only sleep with people you can see yourself becoming friends with

This rule may seem contradictory in itself but it really isn't. Don't pull friends in bed because they are for more important things in life than sex (if those things do exist), and unless she's cool enough to wake up next to you, give you a fist bump and join you for breakfast, you don't want to risk it. People have emotions and it can explode faster than a premature ejaculation.

On the other hand, you don't want to do it with someone you can't stand being around, either. Sexual intercourse is sort of a relationship, after all, and you want someone who is able to carry on a conversation better than a sex toy. It makes the experience much more enjoyable when you're still interested in her, even after she put her clothes back on.

......

Since Jake was just waiting to graduate from high school, for the last few weeks of senior year, he was Jessica's blue genie. Whenever she didn't summon him—which was most of the time—he would be over at the park coaching Russell.

"Why are you spending so much time with that kid?" Dylan had asked him. "Are you trying to get with the sister?"

"I'm so insulted, Dill. If I wanted to get with her, I would've done it already."

"Well she seems like a sweet person. You better not lead her on," Dylan had said, which was completely hypocritical of him since he led girls on regularly. He didn't have the resolution to break up with his psycho girlfriend, but he made every other girl he messed with think they had a chance.

Jake didn't need reminding. He liked where he was in life right now, and he'd be stupid to fuck it up. In front of Jessica he was always sexy, naked, throbbing and out of breath, but as he shut the hotel room door and left that behind, he became the nicest cool person ever, according to Char and Russell.

He indulged himself with the comfort they brought him. They made him think of two rays of ash blonde sunshine, rainbow-colored Popsicles, pink cheeks and giggles, transparent conversations, orange Gatorade, white towels, and all the delightful things thrown together.

Jessica River and Char were two planets orbiting around him without colliding, one dark and hypotonic, the other bright and amicable, and he planned on keeping his two worlds apart.

One afternoon, while Russell was practicing dribbling a short distance away, Jake sat down for some water. He tipped the bottle back and felt the remaining liquid slide down his throat.

"I'm out of water," he told Charlotte, who was sitting next to him. It didn't escape him that she was always here. He was about to ask her if she needed anything from the convenience store when she started to rummage through her backpack.

"Here." She handed over an unopened bottle of mineral water.

He suspected she brought a spare bottle just for him, but as usual he pretended he didn't notice, just like she pretended not to get any of his hints that he wasn't the right guy for her.

He wished she'd stop wasting her precious effort on him. He was too used to people crushing on him and had learned to detect it miles away, from the girls at school, the cashier at the supermarket to the newspaper delivery guy. Even the neighbor's dog had a crush on him. But none of them was as obvious as Charlotte.

She was the cutest kind of naivety. She had no filter and wore her heart on the sleeve, and Jake prayed that she would hold her confession in for both of their sakes. If she blurted it out he'd have to reject her, ignore her tears and feel like a complete asshole, and then he'd have to avoid her and Russell altogether.

That said, Jake was Jake and he was flirty by nature. He learned to flirt before he could talk, and because she was like one of those stuffed animals with a button that said press me, Jake couldn't resist pressing that button sometimes and tease her into spewing out a string of embarrassing rambles.

"You can touch it if you want," he said now, eyeing her with the edge of his lips tilted up.

"Huh? Touch what?"

"You've been staring at my bicep for the past five minutes," he said, "like you're trying to figure out what it is."

"I wasn't! I know what it is. I mean, not that I've been staring or anything. Besides, I was thinking about my homework. I have an essay due in fourteen hours and I've only written 600 words and it's about French revolution and...never mind." To his surprise, she stuck out a finger and poked his arm. She withdrew her hand after one millisecond and blushed ruthlessly.

"It's very...solid," she said. "Does your girlfriend like muscles? Ugh. No. That's an awful question. Don't answer."

He put down the bottle of water and grinned at her. "Is that a tactless way of finding out if I have a girlfriend?"

"No," she said. "...but do you?"

Jake shook his head. "I do girls but I don't do girlfriends. I don't want one. I sleep around because I like sleeping around, not because I haven't found the right person to settle down with."

Charlotte's eyes widened like walnuts. "I can't imagine sleeping with someone I'm not in love with. I actually think it'd be nice to sleep with only one person my whole life and just be contented. No comparison and wrong expectations and all that. But, like, I'm not judging you. You be you if that's the way you like it."

"You be you, too, Char. I'm sure there are lots of people out there who share your opinion."

Charlotte shifted her gaze and it fell on the leaves in front of her. "Yeah. Maybe you'll change your opinion someday. Wait, I'm not suggesting...I'm just saying people change," she said, blushing like an active volcano. She took a swig of her water and coughed.

Jake realized with horror that she had not given up. She was stubborn that way, and this suspicion had already been confirmed when she made up lame excuses to call him, when she brought King Lear to read for school but spent the whole time watching him, when she gave him a pack of jelly beans after hearing him tell Russell that his favorite flavor was Sizzlin' Cinnamon (she didn't know the reason was because Jessica tasted like cinnamon, which made Jake feel like he cheated), and when she tried to keep up a conversation with him about NBA players. Jake didn't have the heart to tell her she got their teams all wrong.

He stretched his arms over his head. "Yeah, I might change my opinion someday. In fact, there's someone I'm growing quite fond of lately," he said, watching her reaction carefully. "Her name is Jessica."

Charlotte blinked a few times.

"I've known her for a while now—"

"Did you see that?" Russell came bouncing back, full of smiles and sweat. "Did you see that shot I just made?"

"Yes, buddy," Jake said.

Russell sat down between them and the name Jessica dissipated in the air. "I think I'm getting better, Lancaster. You're a great coach. I'm so lucky, no, we are so lucky to be your friends. I heard Charlotte talking about you on the phone last night. She keeps saying you're very good—"

"Good at basketball," Charlotte interjected, turning over to shoot a glare at her brother.

"Oh, that's not the only thing I'm good at." It's just the only thing I'm allowed to demonstrate in public. Jake swallowed the rest of his sentence, because bringing this up in front of Charlotte would not be helping.

"She also said—"

"You little brat." Charlotte whacked the copy of King Lear on Russell's shoulder. "Do you have to keep embarrassing me in front of the guy I...the guy that coaches you basketball? After everything I did for you. How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child."

Russell giggled. "You are the thankless child here. You met Jake because of me but you never said thank you!"

Charlotte lunged forward and accidentally knocked her backpack and all her books to the ground. Jake found her extremely amusing.

Too bad amusing and attractive were two distinct lines that were never going to cross.

"Are you always this clumsy or is it just around hot guys?" He smiled.

"Just around hot guys," Charlotte replied without missing a beat. She drew a sharp breath. "I mean...that's not...pretend you didn't hear that. There's nothing I can say to turn this around now. Russell's birthday is next week and do you want to come to his party?"

"Abrupt topic shift," Jake said, "but sure."

"You would?" Russell stood up.

"It's not really a party," Charlottes said. "It's just a small gathering at our house with some of his friends. They are all ten-year-olds. We'd be really happy if you could make it."

"Especially Charlotte," Russell said.

This time she didn't protest.

......

"Please, Jess, I'm in desperate need of your help," Jake said. "You have to know this kid is like, in love with me. If I don't go, he'd be like those kids you see in the movies who are damaged for life when their parents don't show up for their kindergarten graduation play, but I'm going to be so bored. I need someone to babysit with me."

"Wait, you're coaching him for free?" Jessica asked.

"Yeah, but it's only because he begged me to." He didn't want her to know he actually enjoyed it. This couldn't be the kind of thing to impress a girl like Jessica Jiang. "He thinks it's cool to play basketball, but between you and me, Russell is about as cool as a flat tire."

She was silent for a second, and then she smiled and tapped him on the nose with her index finger. "I think that's really sweet of you. I'd love to go with you, of course."

Jessica was a very strange girl indeed. This was the first time she agreed to do something with him that didn't involve stripping, and Jake waited for her to ditch him at the last second for the whole week, until they were actually standing in front of Russell's house.

Russell himself greeted them at the door. Jessica's face broke into a grin, like a bouquet of blooming peonies.

"Hi, I'm Jessica. Happy birthday! This is from Jake and me," she said, holding out a box of Lego. The gift was from her entirely, but she was kind enough to include him.

"That's a Jeep!" Russell pointed at the picture on the box and his face lit up all the way. "It's my favorite!"

"Yeah, Jake mentioned you like his car," Jessica said. "We figured a cool guy like you should have one, too. Hey, you wanna show me where the party is?"

She said she was excited to be here, but apparently she wasn't the most excited person. Ten seconds in and Russell wasn't in love with Jake anymore. He was pulling Jessica towards the backyard and asking if she liked dogs.

"Is that even a question? I love dogs," she said. "My sister and I want to adopt one so badly, but my mom is allergic to animal fur. She says it's either her or the dog. We both choose the dog but she's got the final say, so we're overruled. You just can't reason with tyranny."

It was suffice to say Jessica had a way with children. She wasn't overly bubbly, but she kept the conversation going with ease. All afternoon she busied herself with Russell's friends. She played Xbox with them in the living room, chased around with them despite her wedge heels, and when Jake went in the kitchen to help Charlotte with the cake, Jessica was sitting in the center on the sofa, telling them a story about monks, dragon princes, and magic monkeys.

"They need to cross this burning mountain, which is on fire all year round. The only way to pass it is to borrow the magic fan from the Iron Fan Princess..."

Charlotte was trying to light the candles but her hand was shaking. Jessica's voice flowed like satin, drifting delicately through the open door, interrupted by the occasional laugh of children.

Charlotte sighed and put down the lighter. Jake picked it up and decided to take the job upon himself.

"Jessica is...Jessica is great," she said. "I can totally see why you like her. Gosh, I think I have a girl crush on her myself. How can someone be so beautiful and so approachable at the same time? Give the rest of us a chance!"

Jake smiled, but he felt bad watching the way Charlotte's hand gripped the kitchen counter. It was a shock for her to see him with Jessica. He knew she was hurting, but he needed her to see this as early as possible and get over it. He needed her to give up on him and understand that they could only be friends.

Her crush wasn't going anywhere.

The birthday party was a success, and Jessica hugged everyone at the door, including Charlotte. The two girls thanked each other with what looked like earnest affection. Jake breathed a silent sigh of relief.

It went better than he expected.

"You know something? Russell isn't the only person in love with you," Jessica commented when they left that evening.

"Jess, you just have to make this awkward, don't you." Jake slid his fingertip down her forearm and smirked at her.

She swatted his hand away. "Not me, Charlotte. I've only met her once and I can tell already."

"You see it too?"

She stopped in her track and lifted her head to face him. "Is that the real reason you brought me here? Because you want to let her down gently?"

"You understand me so well."

"Poor girl. She's really pretty, though, and very sweet. You don't want to give her a chance?"

Jessica didn't appear to be the least bit jealous. It was a genuine question, not one to test him.

Jake was usually good at spotting the right timing. Right now it was far from it, and he knew he was rushing it, but the street lamp casted a shadow on her cheek in the shape of her eyelashes, and he thought of the way she smiled and the tone of her voice when she told stories, the way it felt when her hand caressed down his torso and how her brain worked the exact same way his did, so he looked into her eyes, which were dark like cooled lava, and said,

"Charlotte is a great girl. I like her a lot. But Jessica, she's not the girl I'm attracted to."

Her eyes cooled even more, if that was even possible. Jessica uttered a sigh, one that was of disturbance rather than bliss, and frowned.

"Jake, you just have to make this awkward, don't you."