r u l e # 10

Rule #10 You can always change your mind

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. When you meet someone who threatens to overthrow every rule you've ever set for yourself, maybe it's time to reevaluate.

Some rules are made to be broken, while some girls were born to light up your life. You start out wanting to take her to bed, but now you just want to hold her hand, read her a poem, and hope against hope that she won't ever let you go.

From now on, she's your rule.

......

Jessica didn't pick up her phone.

Jake adjusted the backpack on his shoulder and pressed the doorbell again. The clean, chirpy sound bounced around her mansion, sounding more defeated with each passing second. No one came to the door.

He heaved a sigh, trying not to let the sick feeling of disappointment take over. He had daydreamed about Jessica's reaction, and in his fantasy, she would open her arms for him, preferably wearing something revealing and smelling like the Jo Malone body lotion he had chosen for her, and then she would pout and ask what took him so long.

This afternoon ended in a rather anticlimactic way. She's probably at the children's hospital, he decided, and she's not allowed to switch on the phone because of electromagnetic wave frequencies around medical equipment.

He knew it wasn't true, however. Something in his gut told him that Jessica wasn't doing volunteer work at the hospital.

He was right. As he swerved the car onto his street, his breathing picked up.

Jessica Jiang was sitting right on his doorstep.

She had no makeup on. Her hair was kept in a ponytail under a baseball cap, and she wore a simple gray tee with nothing to reveal.

She looked really nice like this, too. More approachable.

He felt half queasy and half delighted to see her. It had been a while, and seeing her again was like hearing a song from his childhood. He could remember every word and he could sing along without difficulty, and then it would be suck in his head for the rest of the day.

She was a melody, interrupted but not forgotten, always on his mind.

The mixture of emotions didn't sit well with him, and his stomach turned. "Hey, Jess. I was just looking for you."

"I forgot my phone, but I really want to see you," she said. "So here I am."

"Is something wrong?" It was funny how with her, he always assumed the worst. He had no deluded confidence when it came to her. Jessica was boss. She decided what he could have and he prayed she came bearing good news.

"I want to tell you a story if you have a minute."

Jessica was a strange girl he could never predict. Only she could ignore him for so long and then show up unannounced with something quirky like this, but as usual, he was instantly intrigued. He sat down next to her. "I'm always ready for your stories."

She was silent for a while, like she was arranging the sentences in her head. "Okay. Once upon a time, there was a boy and a girl," she started. "They had been friends for a while and they got along wonderfully. He was fun, talented, and was the first and only person that got her obsession with Kar-Wai Wong movies. In the Mood for Love and 2046 were her favorites. The first time he accidentally learned that her password was 2046, he guessed right away."

"2046...like the hotel room number? You always pick the same room."

She looked in his eyes and smiled. "They started dating, to no one's surprise. The best and worst thing about him was that he was a...competent person. He was a master at life and he could do very well on his own. He was great at being single.

We were—they were not two less lonely people in the world once they found each other. They were two complete, well-rounded persons and somehow ended up lonelier together. His passion soon passed. Late night phone calls turned into short afternoon texts.

He needed a lot of freedom and he wished to stay the same way. He wanted to see her only when it was convenient for him, and if she wanted him to make small adjustments, he'd smile kindly and suggest that they see each other next time when they were both coincidentally free. He wanted an addition to his life, you see, one more hobby, instead of someone who changed his life."

Jessica spoke in that soft, unattached way Jake had grown accustomed to. She told the story like it happened in ancient times, something far and foreign, something passed on instead of experienced first-hand. He adored her like that, but at the same time, he was sorry that she had to be so composed all the time.

"One Saturday, he suggested that they meet for a movie at night." Jessica's lips moved gracefully even though they were paler than usual. "She wanted to go in the afternoon but he said he was in the mood for a movie night, with or without her. It's okay, he said. I can go by myself if you can't make it. It was always like that with him and she had only two choices, go with him according to his time, or not go at all. He never forced her and she had to admit she canceled her night plan willingly, but she found the situation rather unfair.

He was late. They managed to arrive at the movie theater right on time, but she was craving a Frappuccino and she wanted to get one before the movie started. 'I can't miss the trailers,' he said. 'It's one of the best parts of a movie. I'll go in first.'"

"A trailer isn't even part of the movie," Jake interrupted.

She glanced at him and nodded. "So she stood in line alone, waiting for her drink, and his text came. He asked her to get him one too while she was at it."

"Your ex had a lot of nerves," Jake said. "He was the one who was late, wasn't he?"

Jessica made an noncommittal shrug. "On my birthday, he took me to a nice Italian restaurant and offered to pay. It wasn't very expensive, but I appreciated the thought. I knew money was a problem for him. After the meal, we went to Sephora and I got myself a lipstick and lots of other beauty products. He casually took a bottle of cologne and placed it on the counter, expecting me to pay for it along with my stuff.

It wasn't a big deal and I had a huge allowance for my birthday, but I kept thinking that the bottle cost more than the meal, and it's like he didn't spend anything on me.

He was a nice guy but not the best boyfriend. I wasn't a good girlfriend either. I was bitter and was always secretly scoring him...one point for telling a good joke. Minus one point for saying the wrong thing. Five points for agreeing that Ang Lee's best movies were his old ones—The Wedding Banquet and Pushing Hands, and minus ten points for forgetting the things I asked him to do."

Jake waited for her to tell him the final blow, something her boyfriend did to wreck the relationship completely. It never came.

Jessica shook her head, as if sensing his question. "No, he didn't break my heart. He just got tired of me. We didn't crash and burn, we just...ran out."

"You were disappointed."

"Yes. In a way, that was what ruined it for me. I wasn't terribly hurt, just disappointed. Disappointment turned out to be something impossible to get over."

Like how it is with my birth mom.

"I don't hate him," she said. "I just don't like him anymore. He was such a great friend to have, but now I think of him and I just wish we'd stayed that way and never started. I bet he regretted it too. See? I'm not as cool and mysterious as you thought. I'm awfully petty. I get upset over things as frivolous as a bottle of cologne and a Frappuccino."

They lapsed into silence, and Jake realized that he completely got where she stood. They were both too comfortable with who they were and their current lifestyle. They liked staying on good terms with people and having a good time. They liked sharing the positive side of themselves. It wasn't easy stepping out of their comfort zone, and it was easier to open the legs than to open the heart, simpler to get naked than to get serious.

They had too many choices and they ended up unable to make one.

But because Jessica was even more scared than he was, that somehow gave him courage.

"Jess, I know why you told me your story, but you draw your conclusion from hindsight. If you don't take a chance, sure, you won't ever be let down...but you'll also miss out on a lot of great things."

He moved closer, and he found himself saying all the forbidden sentences at once. "I like you. I think you're beautiful. You're special to me. I can't wait to find out more about you. I can't wait for you to find out more about me, too."

He sounded desperate and inexperienced and not the least bit smooth, but he meant every word and he was proud of himself for that.

Jessica seemed taken aback at first, then she stared down and kick at the gravel. "Jake, you think you like me because I don't give you what you want."

"No—"

"I'm a challenge. I'm like a book that's wrapped up and you're curious about the content, but once you start reading, you'll never finish it. You'll eventually get tired of me, too."

"You don't give me enough credit. You don't give yourself enough credit. It may have started out that way, but I'm far gone from that point now."

She looked away. "Look, you think I'm interesting because I'm closed off. I'm flattered that you ask me questions about myself, but I don't want to tell you because...someday you'll stop wanting to know the answers. I don't want to disappoint you, and I don't want you to disappoint me, either."

"I can't promise you how it's going to go, Jess, but no one can. You can't make any promises, either. But here's what we can do. We can take a chance together."

Jessica took the longest time to answer. When she did, it was with great seriousness. "I'm particularly hesitant about you because I can already see myself falling very deeply for you. When you kissed me, it was more than I'd ever felt with him. I freaked out because I know I'll be left with something far worse than disappointment."

His heart thudded and his mouth went dry. A wave of warmth washed over him. "Really?"

"I'd rather you stay like this...an incredibly hot, sweet, wonderful guy I had the best summer memory with. I don't want to wreck it. I think so highly of you now, it can only go down from here."

A slow grin spread across Jake's face. He leaned back, squinting at her against the sun. "You think I'm hot and you're falling for me?"

Jessica frowned. "Is that all you heard? After everything I just told you...the way your brain processes information amazes me."

"That's the only important thing out of your entire speech, Jess." He nudged her side with his elbow. "Hey, I think you're hot and I'm falling for you, too."

"Jake." She sighed. It was more of a you're-adorable-what-should-I-do-about-you sigh rather than a you're-so-stupid-how-can-I-make-you-understand sigh, he interpreted. At least, he hoped so.

"I like you, you like me, we have amazing sex, your dad and I are besties...I say we're off to a good start. We're going to have an incredibly hot, sweet, wonderful time together, River."

"You make it sound so easy, Jay-Jay." She shook her head. A I-can't-resist-you sort of shake, of course.

"It is that easy." He turned and opened the zipper on his backpack. He took out a piece of paper. "I wrote you another poem."

"You what?"

He cleared his throat.

"This is the right time to tell you, I suppose

That I have become your bitch

You blossom in my life as a singular rose

I miss you, and only you can scratch this itch

You turn me on like a light switch

Then you wound me with your thorn

You torture my dreams like a witch

but when I see you I feel reborn

You'll probably regard this with scorn

But you should know you're my only rule

You're sexier than porn

I want to know you better and be your fool

I hope you want to learn more about me too, and you'll see

That my dick isn't the only interesting thing about me"

Jessica stared at him, and he was positive this was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever had the pleasure of hearing. She placed a hand over her heart.

"A sonnet, Jake? That's heartbreakingly beautiful. Allow me a moment to wipe away my tears."

"Shakespeare is rolling over in his grave."

She laughed. She took the piece of paper from his hand and read it again.

Jake knew his poem was horrible, but Jessica laughed. That was what mattered. He watched her lashes dance as her eyes went from line to line, her lips curving up, for him.

He had a beautiful feeling in his chest.

"Jessica Jiang, can I take you out on a real date? We can see a movie of your choice and you can decide the time. I don't care much for the trailers. If we're late, you can go in first and I'll get you a Frappuccino."

Jessica didn't answer. Her fingers slid down his forearm, and a second later, her small hand found his.

He looked down at their clasped hands and looked back up at her face.

She smiled like springtime. "You had me at 'dick', Jake."

He laughed and pulled her in his arms.

She smelled exactly as he imagined.

......

a/n: dear friends, this is the end but I'm going to write a short bonus chapter in Jessica's POV, so if you're interested, please keep this in you library for a little while longer.

I want to thank everyone for being so mature, considerate, and supportive. I'm extremely lucky to have a group of readers like you who keep me smiling through the whole book. This is a relatively short story and quite fast-paced, and I don't think I managed to develop it properly, but thank you for telling me you liked it and that it's perfect even though it's anything but.

I want to write a light love story, a story about slut-shaming, about flirting the right way, about being a gentleman, about respecting different opinions, about love rivals who can both be wonderful and actually like each other, about friendship, about Chinese folktales and legends, and I want the "player" to NOT end up with the sweet girl-next-door for once. I want him to fall for the "perfect" girl this time, but not because he was damaged and she saved him--he was happy before her, but he thought hey, this could be nice too.

Thank you again, you guys are seriously amazing x