08 | -

THREE YEARS AGO...

"BREATHE VANESSA, BREATHE." were Vanessa's vain attempts to calm herself down as the car drove closer and closer to its destination.

Though her parents had always told her to never show her emotions plainly given it was a sign of weakness, she couldn't help but feel nervous for starting a new high school. The stares from new people, the painful ice-breaking introductions that she'd have to make in each of her classes was something she wasn't looking forward to at all.

She didn't understand why the teachers always insisted on the new students to give introductions. It was as if they wanted them to suffer. Moreover, it wasn't like anybody ever remembered the new students' introductions. Barely anyone remembered even their names, let alone their hobbies or where they came from. If anything, the students were more interested in classifying them into cliques.

She tried to compose herself, to have some hope that there were going to be others like her, new and unfamiliar but the feeling of anxiousness was inexorable. Curling its poisonous talons around her heart, she felt another emotion present too—anger.

Anger at her parents, for forcing her from the haven she had known. Anger at herself for not fighting harder to stay. She wouldn't have had to do this stupid ice-breaker introduction if her parents hadn't insisted that her previous school wasn't for people of their social class, which Vanessa had thought was complete and utter bullshit but then again it was common for her parents and her to disagree.

Their ideologies and mindsets were rarely ever on the same wavelength. She just couldn't understand why if she was happy her parents would want to rip her away from her happiness but they had. Insisting it was for the best.

As her car pulled into the school's parking lot, she cast a glance towards the building. It dawned on Vanessa then what her parents had meant when they said those words.

Oaksville was, to put it bluntly, pulchritudinous. It screamed affluence and elegance, the personification of the adjective royalty. Under the shining sun every part of the school seemed to glow and glisten, its perfection amplified. The door handles of the main entrance scintillated under the sun, the glass windows spotless with not a single smudge in sight, the roof a vibrant brick-red, even something as mundane as the field was trimmed to perfection as if somebody had meticulously taken a ruler to cut each and every single strand of grass to be the same height.

The parking lot was bustling with chatter, people greeting each other from their summer vacations and bragging about their achievements or souvenirs they'd gotten over the summer. It was a bubbly atmosphere yet it only caused her heart to ache more as she realised this was how she would've been with her friends—but they weren't here and she was alone.

Like she'd always been.

Despite it being her first day in a new environment, Vanessa's parents had refused to send her off by themselves, instead having their personal chauffeur, Ed, take her. Typical business-minded parents, always the ones to rush off to any other potential meeting rather than taking the time out of their day to send their only child off to her first day of highschool.

She shouldn't have even been surprised, her parents had always been like this. They'd skipped many of her 'firsts' to attend prospective business agreements. Even so, she hated herself for still hoping that the outcome would be different.

"Ms Tan, are you ready?" asked the driver politely.

Vanessa nodded, "Thank you for driving me, Ed."

"No problem Ms."

Vanessa took a deep breath and exited the car She walked across the parking lot, face set into a fixed grimace. Though her parents had always told her to smile more, she refused. Though it was done partially to get nerves on her parents, the main reason was because she didn't have a good reason to smile. Why smile when there was absolutely nothing to smile about?

Ignoring the stares and whispers that trailed after her like a bad odour, she went up to the receptionist desk, immediately requesting for her schedule. The receptionist had offered her a 'buddy' to show her the way around the school compounds but Vanessa had politely declined the invitation.

She had already been here for their orientation day. She possessed sufficient memories of that day to be able to locate her classes. But if she by chance did happen to lose her way, so be it.

She wasn't about to start befriending anyone only to lose them again later when her parents decided that it was time for her to leave.

Taking the schedule, she veered herself towards the array of blue lockers.

"How the hell do I open this thing?" she grumbled to herself as she stood in front of a dark blue locker, twisting the dial on the lock just as a loud slam caught her attention. Casting her eyes to the source of the noise, her blood began boiling with rage at the sight she saw.

"Aw, are you going to cry? Pathetic."

Taunting her were three other males who couldn't have been much older than Vanessa, if at all. A quick glance at the books one of the trio held confirmed that they were in her year. She groaned.

Assholes in her year? Just her rotten luck.

At the boy's taunts, the girl merely clutched her books tighter. Directing her head towards the floor, her fringe fell in front of her, a fruitless attempt at attempting to shield herself from their vindictive insults.

"Please, I need to go—"

"No!" The boy boomed as he smacked the books out of the girl's hands.

"Until we're finished, you're not going anywhere."

Tears welled up in the girls' eyes yet no one was helping. Whispers and points but not a single person was offering the girl a lending hand.

Vanessa could have ignored it, should have ignored it. It would have saved her trouble. Would have allowed her to remain hidden in the shadows and go unnoticed by the student population — but that wasn't her nature.

People picking on other people— absolutely brilliant—she could already tell she was going to love this school. She slammed her locker door shut equally as loud, claiming the attention of the group nearby.

Striding up to the girl, she ignored the boys as she picked up the books they had violently shoved out of her arms earlier, handing them to the girl. Her eyes flitted across the three males briefly, her heart almost stopping when she met a familiar pair of brown eyes.

Meiji Osaimai.

He'd moved a year ago, around the same time when she'd put an end to their friendship. Ignoring the pang in her heart, she spoke sharply. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Move out of the way, new girl." another boy's voice interjected coldly, arms crossed as he looked at her.

As Vanessa scanned him scathingly, she took note of his unavoidable, vivid features. His hair was a tawny shade of brown, eyes a bright green and he sported a silver-chained necklace around his neck. He would've been attractive—if he had not looked as if death had had a meal and then spit out the remnants.

He looked... empty, void of any feeling.

It was a feeling all too familiar to Vanessa but no pity was elicited from her for him. He chose bullying as an outlet and Vanessa held no sympathy for those that chose to project their hassels onto others.

"Don't meddle in matters that don't concern you."

She ignored his words.

"Is this what you've been doing Meiji?" she asked, looking at the japanese boy who had been taunting the girl moments earlier.

There was a pause.

"Meiji? You know this girl?" the boy who had slammed the girl's books out of her hands earlier, spoke up.

"We went to middle school together." he muttered, his hand rubbing his neck seemingly embarrassed to have been caught.

"Doesn't matter. New girl—"

"My name is Vanessa Tan." she interjected, carelessly throwing her shoulders back "The new girl reference isn't really boding with me well."

"Well Vanessa Tan," he mocked, "Since we're all doing 'pleasantries', that is Seth Naifeh," he pointed to the tawny-haired boy, "my name's Keith Chan and that over there, as you already know, is Meiji Osaimai. And I'm warning you, don't save this girl, she isn't worth your help."

Vanessa's tone was icy as she walked up to him, her striking blue eyes burning into his. "Do I look like I give a fuck?"

"I don't care if you say she isn't worth it because I judge from what I see with my eyes," her eyes flitted between the boys and the girl before they settled on the boys as she finished her statement "And all I see are three males harassing an unarmed female—low blow, guys."

Seth clenched his fists. Vanessa noticed this and laughed, an unkind laugh that echoed through the empty hall, "Aw, is little Seth angry?" she mocked "Angry that you can't project your emotions onto this girl over here?"

"Fuck off." he said in a clipped tone. "You don't know what she's done."

Vanessa rolled her eyes, "I'll fuck off, after you do too."

Seth looked as if he was about to respond with more profanity but the sharp clicks of heels and footsteps approaching deterred him.

A new girl was approaching.

"Boys," the newly arrived girl said coyly. "Do we have a problem?"

After a momentary lapse of silence, Keith begrudgingly replied. "No Yasmin."

"Then you heard Vanessa, she didn't stutter." she gestured her head towards Vanessa, "Kindly fuck off."

The boys seemed to know when to pick their battle and they knew this was one they'd lose. Grumbling, they threw them one last glare before finally moving off in the other direction.

"You okay?" Yasmin —the girl who had just arrived— directed her attention towards the girl whom Vanessa had just defended. When the small mousy girl nodded meekly, she turned her attention to Vanessa with a smile.

"You must be new." Yasmin mused. "Quite a first impression you've made, new girl. Nobody ever has the balls to stand up to the trio. Well, except me of course. I'm sorry to inform you but you've just made yourself not one but three enemies."

Vanessa shrugged nonchalantly. "I don't need people to love me."

If it was possible, the girl's smile widened "I like your attitude, Vanessa was it? My name's Yasmin, Yasmin Asghar."

"Vanessa, Vanessa Tan."

"I'm Serena." The bullied girl held out her hand shyly, Vanessa shook it firmly.

"Welcome to the club." smirked Yasmin mischievously. "We'll have much fun together."

And from that point on, the duo became a trio.

***

PRESENT TIMES

AS VANESSA TAN stared at the boy in front of her, she felt all the fight dissipate from her body.

She wished that she could hate him, but she just couldn't. She had always felt like she had been betraying Serena by being unable to hate the japanese male but no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't.

Because everytime she looked at him, she only saw the person he was underneath his tough exterior, underneath the basketball player facade, she saw him as someone who had once been her closest ally, her best friend.

Serena was always an understanding person, rarely getting angry or in altercations with others. It was what caused Vanessa to confide in her about her previous friendship with Meiji after one too many awkward encounters with the male. She hadn't said a word, merely taking Vanessa's hand into her's, her eyes speaking volumes knowing that what Vaness had just told her took courage.

There was rarely anyone with the knowledge that Vanessa had known Meiji since she was a child—not that they should've, their previous friendship wasn't one she pranced around announcing to every passerby.

After all, she had been responsible for crushing their friendship to pieces. Her parents hadn't wanted her to interact with Meiji anymore after seeing him one too many times, she was floored— not understanding why. Her parents refused to give her a direct reason, merely saying that they knew what was best for her and that she should end it.

Furiously, she downright refused. Her parents turned to threats once they realised bribery wouldn't work ; they tried threatening her with emancipation but when they figured out that wouldn't work either, they turned to other methods.

His parents.

Meiji's parents were immigrants, making Meiji the first of his family to be raised in a foreign country. His parents were fairly well-off, they made most of their wealth through setting up chain restaurants serving japanese-themed cuisine.

"It would be a shame if that restaurant suddenly faced a lawsuit for unhygienic operations, wouldn't it?"

No matter how much the Osaimai's believed they were capable, they were nothing next to her parents who were well-known in every sector. A lawsuit would ruin them.

And as self-centered as Vanessa may have been, she would never let the parents of the boy she loved so dearly take the fall for her messes. So, she ended it — and broke both their hearts in the process.

"Osaimai." she spoke first, breaking the silence between them, "It's been a while."

In the months leading up to her death, Serena appeared to be at ease around Meiji and for Vanessa that was enough reason for her to stop interfering. That reduced their occasional standing conversations to almost none—save for the few times he spoke during their shared lessons.

"What do you need?" She asked, highly aware of the quiet hallways and the fact that this was their first private conversation in a long time.

Meiji rubbed the back of his head, nervously as if he didn't know how to phrase his thoughts.

"I know." he settled on saying instead. "She, Serena, told me."

Vanessa froze, her mind was in overdrive. He knew. He knew.

"I don't know what you're talking about." she fibbed as she focused her eyes on the trees behind his head.

"Why did you never tell me?" he continued, ignoring her earlier comment.

Vanessa clenched her fists but didn't respond.

"Why? You left me thinking I did something wrong, the entire time that I viewed our relationship the wrong way."

"I had to!" she finally yelled as she faced the male whose hurt was strewn plainly across his face "If I didn't, you wouldn't even be able to stay in this school! My parents would've destroyed your family, torn it to pieces and I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

A single tear rolled down her face, the only public emotion that Vanessa had shown since her entry to the school five years ago. She turned her gaze down, "I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if anything happened to you knowing I was responsible and could've prevented it."

Meiji approached her, taking slow steps until he was standing in front of her. He used a hand to wipe away a tear from her cheek gently, tilting her face to look up at his.

"Vars," he referenced her childhood nickname. One that he had given her after they shared a Mars bar together. "I've told you time and time again, nothing can come between us. Not your parents, not mine." he said gently.

"I respect what you did but you could've told me, instead of leaving me hanging pondering over what it was that I did wrong."

He shot her a wry smile as she looked into his eyes, which glistened with a myriad of unspoken emotions.

"I spent years wondering how I could've changed it," he breathed out, "how I could've tried to keep us together—"

"It was not your fault." she interjected "It was my choice, my responsibility to take."

"But it was also mine. We're a team, Vars. "

Meiji took her hand into his as he said fiercely, "Your parents don't scare me. This time, we do things our way— together. Got it?"

Vanessa didn't fight what he said. She was a year away from being a legal adult and with the amount of black-mail worthy information she had on her parents, they wouldn't dare to harm Meiji or his family for that matter.

She threw her arms around him, embracing him freely for the first time since they were twelve. And as Meiji Osamai embraced the ice queen back, for a brief moment in time, everything seemed to be alright.

***

3 MONTHS AFTER her death and Serena's friends were just beginning to piece together the broken pieces Serena had left behind.

Her death may have set off the domino-effect that caused all the friendships she had ever had a place in to break apart but her letters were the starting point, the push, for them to begin to repair.

With the friendship between Meiji and Vanessa fulfilled, it was time for the next page to be turned.