CHAPTER 03

URBAN

My chest compacted, making breathing impossible, and my mark pulsed uncontrollably until my vision blurred, which panicked me because I didn’t want to stop looking at her. From what I’d seen, she’d been so pretty, all her thick, blonde hair swept up in a large bun to display the curve of her jaw, her pointed chin, the length of her graceful neck. Her eyes had been dark and soulful, and her nose pert and short.

And she’d been mine. My one and only. My mate and one true love.

I blinked rapidly until, ah…there. She came back into focus. Thank God.

My happily ever after rested on the shoulders of this very woman…who was quite obviously full with another man’s child.

At first, I didn’t understand that part. Because, really, ~what~?

~My~ one true love was pregnant? That didn’t make sense. I hadn’t even met her yet. I mean, the need for her was strong, but not strong enough to impregnate her from across the room with my desire alone.

Or was it?

Shit, this was just all wrong.

How could she be…? She wouldn’t. Except, okay, she wasn’t from High Cliff and didn’t believe in our marking ritual or one true loves. Of course, she had no reason to wait for ~hers~ to show up.

Which apparently she hadn’t.

Fuck!

Sweat coated my brow. Needles prickled my abdomen, making nausea swell up my throat. My vision dimmed again. I wasn’t sure how I remained upright.

But… Jesus Christ on the cross, the woman who was supposed to become the love of my life was already taken.

My lungs heaved, and breathing picked up. Only the fingernails biting into my flesh from my sister’s hand when she touched my arm were able to draw my attention away from my heart’s purpose… The woman who could make me the happiest… My one ~fucking~ true love.

I turned to Allera frantically, seeking support, but she wasn’t looking at me; she was too busy smiling politely and answering a question the king had asked her.

“Yes, it was a good trip. Thank you for asking. But long. So very long. I fear it’s worn both me ~and~ my brother quite to the bone.”

She finally looked up at me. The pointed glare in her eyes told me to shape up and pay attention. We were here to align our kingdoms, not tear them apart by me stealing one of its royal women from whichever man expected a baby with her any day now.

I clenched my teeth, not at all pleased by Allera announcing to everyone that I was some weakling who couldn’t handle a bit of travel, but at the moment, any excuse to evacuate this room was welcome. If I couldn’t carry my one true love away and bed her right now, then fuck it, I had to flee before I strode up there and fell at her feet, bellowing about my rage and sorrow.

Goddamn. What was wrong with me?

I didn’t do shit like that.

I didn’t even know that woman.

Spinning to King Caulder, I blurted, “Would it be rude of me to ask to be shown to my chambers now?”

Allera gaped at me, and yep, she definitely wanted to strangle me. But both the king and Prince Brentley chuckled politely at my request.

“Not at all, Prince Urban. I’ll have one of my pages show you to your quarters forthwith.” After motioning a servant forward, the king bowed slightly to Allera. “And you too, as well, Princess. For your comfort, we’ve set up your rooms directly across from each other.”

“Oh, thank you. That is most kind. You have no idea how much we appreciate it.”

Allera’s gushing made me roll my eyes.

Sir Soren caught the move and narrowed his gaze scornfully. I glared right back, no longer in the mood to be diplomatically pleasant.

Allera took my arm and yanked me around so we could follow some tiny man with long, spindly hands down dizzying passages, up a wide staircase, and down more lavish hallways until he paused and turned to us, splaying out his enormous hands to direct each of us to our respective rooms.

Neither Allera nor I had spoken a single word on the entire walk. We shared a telling glance before we both turned away and entered two different chambers.

I was barely inside mine ten seconds before a knock fell on my door and she tore inside.

“What?” I growled at her, not ready to discuss…well, anything.

When she only shook her head, I cursed under my breath and began to pace the floor.

She stepped toward me. “Talk to me, Urban.”

“And say ~what~?” I spat, seething.

Life sucked.

~My~ life sucked.

I didn’t want to be on this ride any longer.

“About anything,” she said patiently. “Just… Talk it out.”

I snorted and sent her a dismissive glance. But she looked so worried and understanding, I growled another curse and swiped a hand through my hair.

“Well, it looks as if ~you’ve~ lucked out in the marriage department, anyway,” I told her. “The prince seems like a complete sap. You’ll be walking all over him in no time, getting whatever you wish.”

“Yes, yes, he seems quite kind. I’m lucky indeed. ~Now~….” She grabbed my ear, making me howl in protest as she forced me to face her. “Don’t you dare tell me your one true love is the king’s ~wife~, Urban, ~seriously~? The ~queen~?”

I stared at her stupidly with no idea what to say, because damn, I wasn’t even sure which woman my one true love had been. I’d locked my sights on her and hadn’t paid attention to the other sister who’d been next to her at all.

“My God!” Allera whispered, her face going pale. “The ~queen~? You’ve gone and mated yourself to the ~queen~ of Donnelly? Have you lost your mind?”

“Yes, lost it completely,” I snarled sarcastically before jerking away to glare. “~I~ didn’t mate myself to anyone, you nit. You make it sound as if I had a ~choice~ in this. This is all the fucking mark’s work.”

“We’ll be executed,” she went on, clutching her throat. “Both of us. Probably beheaded. Oh God.”

I rolled my eyes over her dramatics. “And blast it,” I continued, talking over her. “I don’t know which sister it chose. So shut up about the queen already.”

“Wait. What? What do you mean, you don’t know which sister? Couldn’t you narrow down the sensation to a single one? Or… Oh!” Allera pulled back and blinked. “Are you saying you bonded to ~both~ sisters?” Her eyebrows lifted as if impressed by that idea. “I’ve heard of polyamorous bonding.” Then she snorted out a laugh, her eyes twinkling with mirth. “Kind of takes the ~one~ out of one true love, doesn’t it?”

With a dry glance, I muttered, “I didn’t link to both. And I knew ~which~ sister I bonded to. I’m saying I just don’t know if she was the queen or not.”

“Oh.” Sounding disappointed, Allera’s shoulders fell. “Well, what color was she wearing?”

My legs started to wobble, my knees no longer wanted to hold me. I sat on the edge of the bed and hung my hands between my knees as I lowered my head, defeated.

“Blue,” I admitted quietly. “She wore blue. She was the one who’s… pregnant.”

Allera breathed out a long, sad sigh and sat beside me.

When she said nothing, I finally demanded in a hoarse voice, “Well? Is my one true love the queen or not?”

“No,” Allera answered.

My shoulders fell with relief. “Oh, thank God,” I breathed. “It probably wouldn’t do for Father to send us all the way here to make peace with the Donnelleans only for me to cause a war by bonding with the king’s ~wife~.”

“No,” Allera agreed quietly, only to growl, “Instead you’ve bound yourself to her ~sister~, who’s married to the king’s first cousin, best friend, and top advisor.”

I whirled to her, my mouth gaping. “You mean, that quiet, moody fucker? Soren?” My eyes narrowed with disgust. “She’s married to ~him~?”

That bastard had put a baby in ~my~ one true love?

I’d slaughter him.

Allera rolled her eyes. “Oh, don’t act jealous.”

“I’m not ~acting~!” Then I groaned and buried my face in my hands. “Fuck me. How is this happening? I’m jealous of a complete stranger. I don’t know him. Hell, I don’t know ~her~! How can I feel—”

“I know,” Allera said quietly and patted my back. “It doesn’t seem possible, especially when it first happens. But this is exactly how it progresses for all of us.”

I stared at her, not sure how Allera made it through each day without her one true love.

She touched the side of her eye where her mark had faded. “I’m sure the pull from the mark is why the tattoo fades after one dies. The pain with it there would probably be more than we could bear. The misery’s quite intense without it, anyway. I’m almost glad it’s gone.” Except, I could tell she wasn’t glad at all. She wanted her mark back. She wanted her one true love back.

I gently touched the side of her eye, mourning with her. “I’m sorry,” I said. “For all you’ve suffered.”

Guilt and agony consumed me.

This was my fault. If only I’d just—

She smiled sadly and wrapped her fingers around my wrist, accepting my sympathy.

“Will it always itch so much?” I asked. “When she’s near?”

I could still feel my mate’s presence in the castle, but it wasn’t as strong as it had been while we’d been in the Throne Room together.

Allera grinned and rolled her eyes. “It doesn’t itch. It ~tingles~. And no. The first glimpse will be the strongest, but you’ll always be aware when she’s near. And now that you’ve had your first sighting, you’ll always know which way to go to find her.”

I nodded, glad to hear that, though I don’t know why I should be glad. I shouldn’t care, and yet I wanted to be able to sense her presence and know she was out there, that she was alive and well. I liked realizing I could always locate her if I needed to. It provided a security that eased something restless in my soul… something that hadn’t even existed until I’d entered the Iron Castle.

But damn, the ~tingling~ had been intense. I had felt like a dog who’d heard a whistle no one else could receive. I’d nearly started spinning in circles, snapping at my tail and howling out my distress, right there in the Throne Room.

“Any more questions?” Allera asked.

I turned to her. “Yeah.” I gave a self-derisive grin. “What am I going to do about this? I can’t exactly claim her since she’s already married.”

“No, you can’t.” Her sympathetic smile and watery eyes turned hard before she answered, “There’s only one thing you ~can~ do then. Nothing.”

I sat up straighter, wincing in confusion. “What do you mean ~nothing~?”

I couldn’t do nothing. My one true love… she was in this very palace.

“I mean you’re not going to do ~anything~,” Allera reiterated unnecessarily. “She’s already married, Urban.”

I shook my head. “Yeah, but—”

Allera shook her head right back. “But ~nothing~. She’s married. To another man. She’s about to have a child with him. Hell, this may be their fifth babe together.”

“Don’t say that.” I winced and had to glance away. “She’s mine,” I whispered. I couldn’t honestly be expected to just ignore that, could I? “I’m ~hers~.”

“She doesn’t know that,” Allera murmured. I turned to her, and her eyes filled with sympathy. “Think about what’s best for our kingdom, Brother. You can only cause mayhem by acting on this. I guarantee you they don’t understand our marks. They could kick us out of Donnelly, sever our alliance—hell, they might even kill us.”

I almost didn’t care. The itching urge to find her this second still roared through me. Nothing mattered but being by her side, worshipping her, living my life to provide her with everything she ever needed or wanted.

But then Allera said, “This is what she would want. Think about that. Think about what’s best for ~her~.”

An arrow of pain shot through my abdomen because I already knew what Allera was going to add even before she said, “She doesn’t know you. She’s not marked and doesn’t feel the draw the way you do. If you go to her with this, you’ll only frighten her. You’ll upset her husband, who’d probably treat her differently afterward and thus upset their marriage. Do you want her to be unhappy because of you? She’s already established a life apart from you. Do you really want to harm that? Harm ~her~ in that way?”

I nodded. “If she’s not happy with the life she has, then yes, I do. I’ll burn down the whole fucking realm around us to make her content.”

A second later, I caught my breath and shook my head before exhaling unsteadily. “Shit, did I really just say that?” I cupped my head in my hands. “What is ~wrong~ with me?”

How could I speak this way about a complete stranger? How could I actually ~feel~ this way and want to be more loyal to her than anyone I’d ever known… even Allera? What if she didn’t deserve it? What if I didn’t even ~like~ her?

Allera smiled and clasped my arm. “It’s okay. Everything’s intense and overwhelming when you first see your one true love. Truth be told, I was so dazzled by Jazon, I bedded him about thirty seconds after we met.”

“Good God, Allera! ~Stop~.” Wincing, I covered my ears with my hands and glared at her. “Seriously. I could’ve gone my entire life without knowing that. No man wants to hear such things about his sister.”

Allera laughed and tugged my hands from my ears. “I’m just saying, you go a bit crazy at first sight.” Then she sent me an admiring glance. “You actually surprised me with how well you held it together. You have impressive decorum, Brother.”

It certainly didn’t feel that way. To me, I felt utterly unhinged.

“But rest assured,” she went on, bumping my arm encouragingly. “The sensations will be much easier to handle from here on out.” Then a frown marred her brow. “Or maybe it was easier for me to handle after first sight because I slept with Jazon on our first encounter. You know, ~sex~ might’ve been what dulled the mark’s tingle, not just seeing him. I’m not exactly certain. Huh. Curious, that.”

Yes, fucking curious. It was always nice to learn I may have a raging hard-on whenever I saw my one true love from here on until I bedded her, which was going to happen ~never~. Meaning… My future looked truly miserable, filled with raging, unrequited lust.

“You are so not helping,” I muttered. “In fact, you should leave now. Your uncertainty has done nothing but—”

“No.” Her voice was firm as she narrowed her eyes. “You’re not going to seek her out.”

She’d been my sister far too long, because she was exactly right; I ~had~ planned to seek out my one true love.

I bared my teeth in a snarl. “Of course I’m going to seek her out. I have to know if she’s okay.” I had to know what she was like. Was she easygoing with a quick smile and quicker wit? Closed-off and intense? Airheaded and whiny? Pretentious and vain?

The not-knowing was driving me crazy.

But most importantly, I had to touch her. Kiss her. Get inside her. My body was still screaming at me over how imperative that was.

“You’ll frighten her if you approach her with the mood you’re in. And she’s pregnant. ~Urban~! You don’t want her to accidentally harm her child because ~you~ scared her, now do you? What do you think ~that~ would do to her?”

I winced. Hurting her in any way would slaughter me. Almost as much as it slaughtered me to think of her carrying around someone else’s infant.

I surged up off the bed and began to pace the room once more. “You don’t understand.”

“Yes, I ~do~ understand.” Allera spread her hands. “I know how important this is to you. How important ~she~ is to you. I’ve been through this before, remember? And that is why I promise you ~I’ll~ approach her for you. I’ll find out if she’s happy with the life she has.”

I shook my head, not satisfied with that. “I want to measure her level of contentment for myself.”

“I’m aware of that, my sweet little brother. But you know as well as I do how unwise that is. You should stay away from her.”

I turned away moodily, not wanting to hear that suggestion. “Stop calling me little. I haven’t been smaller than you since I was twelve.”

Allera chuckled even as she hugged me from behind, soaking my shirt with her silent tears. “I know how difficult this is for you.”

Dammit. Her tears were what undid me. Agony roared through my chest. Covering her hand with mine, I lifted my face toward the ceiling and squeezed my eyes closed.

“It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

“But you’ll stay away, right?” Letting go of me so she could force me around to face her, she sent me a fond smile. “Tell me you’ll trust me to get the information you want. It’s in the best interest of all of us that you do nothing.”

My jaw hardened, but after a moment, I turned away and nodded. “I’ll stand aside,” I said. “For now.”

“Thank you.” Allera rose onto her tiptoes and kissed my cheek. “I won’t let you down, I promise. Besides.” She flashed me a mischievous grin. “This will help me keep my mind off the fact I’m going to be marrying someone who isn’t Jazon soon.”

I nodded, always a little saddened when I heard his name aloud. Jazon might’ve been ~her~ one true love, but he’d been ~my~ best friend. It had ripped us both apart when we’d lost him. Which was one of the reasons why I’d never been able to tell her the full truth about his death. I couldn’t lose her too.

Watching Allera walk to the door, I waited until she opened it before I said her name.

She glanced back with lifted eyebrows.

“I wasn’t paying attention during the introduction,” I admitted. “Did she… I mean, did anyone announce what her name was?”

Allera smiled. “Yes. The queen’s name is Yasmin. And her sister is Lady Vienne.”

“Vienne,” I whispered as Allera left, shutting the door behind her. My heart thudded hard against my rib cage.

My one true love was called Vienne.