36 | 𝑇𝑒𝑐ℎ𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒

"Your grandmother used to always say, 'nothing can cure pain like grilled cheese and tomato soup,'" my mom said, approaching me with a ceramic plate before halting abruptly. "Your bed...? it's blocking the window. How can you get any light through?"

"I have lightbulbs."

"Artificial light shouldn't replace the sun, Azariah." Her tone was condescending as she set the plate down by my feet and sat at the edge with a prolonged sigh. "How's you and Sullivan?"

"Dating."

"I know that, I heard your screams of excitement." She was sarcastic, because the most I did was tell her during dinner. Nothing like how either of us expected. "Has Victor gotten back to you?"

"No." I snuggled closer to my headboard, I squeezed the baby pink pillow in my lap. "He hasn't answered my messages." I paused. "Sullivan and I got a good grade on the assignment."

"That's good." Her voice sounded soft and sad as she analyzed the tidal wave of comforters. She outstretched a weak gesture to the mugs placed sporadically on my night tables and desk. "You planning on cleaning any time soon?"

I peered over to see the laundry on the floor and with no intention of doing so, I leaned back onto my bed and shrugged. "Maybe later."

"Hmm," she hummed, lifting herself from the bed. "I'm hoping to get some work done on the chicken coop. Wanna help me?" Her voice peaked and I knew that she'd been dying to get some things done. After the recent snow flurries and the upcoming blizzard, there wasn't much determination to get any outside work completed.

"No," was all I replied with, sorrowfully at that. "Sullivan and I are going to the movies later."

"That's nice." She tried sounding happy, but then inquired, "have you and Kayla talked recently?" She leaned towards me subconsciously, a part of me thought that she'd always wanted Kayla and I to be friends again. Kayla was a second daughter to her and I think that our fight was refusing to blockade her previous connection.

"No, I don't think we will for a long time."

"At least you have Keiona and Jay, and Victor." She tried to hide the smile skillfully with the tilt of her chin to the floor and I couldn't repress my grin. She liked Victor and that made me feel nice, like I somehow made her proud a little bit by finding some great guy like Victor--as a friend.

"Well, what time is your movie?" she wondered, standing up from the mattress, fixing her flowy purple blouse.

"Later, maybe six." I studied the shirt as she turned to the door. "I don't like that color."

"I know, everytime I wear anything of the purple vicinity you tell me you don't like it," she expressed with a few chortles. "Well, it's five forty-five now, maybe start getting ready if he's coming to pick you up."

After changing into a gray crocheted sweater and blue jeans, I hurried out to the car with a full stomach, and leapt into the passenger seat. He started to drive off after smiling. "You excited for the movie?"

"Yep," I lied.

Shit, how can our relationship work if I keep lying?

"So--" I started with an energy to my words. "What's something not many people know about you?"

He silenced and the lack of radio worsened in my ears. "I like football."

"Hmm." I settled in my seat reluctantly, maybe he didn't have a lot going on in his life. I'd never be one to judge. I gazed out the glass pane to see the pattern of similar suburban houses and pivoted towards the radio. "Can I turn on a song?"

"No." He stared out the windshield as I settled into the seat again, wrapping my body in my arms as I forcefully drilled my eyes to the passing by houses in blurs.

"Liv, what's one thing you like about me?" I asked to the window.

He stifled a laugh which caught my attention. He drove unthinkingly as he described, "you're beautiful for the weight you are."

Huh.

"Thanks?"

"No problem," he replied.

Well, that wasn't--whatever.

After he pulled into a parking space, we bought our tickets and were trudging down the shadowy hallway with dark gray walls on either side of us illustrating new movie posters. Our shoes awkwardly scuffed against the navy blue argyle maroon rug and I clutched a medium sized popcorn, nearly spilling over the sides. The strong whiff of butter and salt blew in my nose.

Sullivan glanced at the tickets then up at a room number beside a door. I glanced at the movie poster. I let him pick what we were watching and I unhurriedly began to regret it.

He opened the door and once he strolled in, the heavy-set door fell to a rapid close in front of me, making me jump and getting a flurry of popcorn to spring onto my face. I sighed, using my free hand to haul open the door as I walked in.

When I was met with the luminescent green screen of ads and the harsh volume in the theater, I panned over and noticed that Sullivan already seated himself. I eventually made my way, worming past the knees of people before planting a spot beside him, then he held out the ticket. "That's not our seat."

I nodded exasperatingly, standing and squirming past his knees, sitting on the opposing side of him, finally settling into the reclining comfort as the ads displayed itself to us. He started reaching for the popcorn that I held before he practically engulfed his hand, spilling excess popcorn kernels from the corners of his lips.

"Actually, if you don't mind--I have to go to the bathroom." I quickly stood, shoving the popcorn onto his lap as the lights to the theater started to dim, telling everyone the movie was just about to start.

I dashed down the stairs before bounding around the corner, throwing open the door and swiftly driving to the bathroom where a few other women were standing by the sinks, touching up their makeup. I looked to the mirrors, seeing their eyes, before barreling into a stall, locking it behind me. I stood in the tight space, staring at the toilet clogged with toilet paper before I slipped my phone out and dialed a number.

It rang once. Then again.

"I can't get rid of you, can I?" Victor playfully questioned. "I haven't gotten a chance to answer your messages--"

"I know you said that it's stupid," I began worriedly, "but I need your help."

His breath halted and I could hear minimal noise through the speaker. Then distant cars honking and chaos. He was outside, in presumably a city. There was an overwhelming amount of noise, before he mumbled incoherent phrases, then there was a drawl of silence after a door shut.

"Okay, I'm here now." He breathed in relief. "You were saying something, I interrupted you, but..." His voice trailed and I felt as if he was pacing. "What I said to you in San Francisco. It was all--all bullshit. Believe me," he assured.

"I understand." The tip of my shoe kicked the toilet gently and I could only imagine what the women in front of my stall were thinking. "Listen, I need your help. I'm at the movies with Sullivan and he picked this weird motivational religious movie. Nothing against religions--I love religion, I just don't know anything about it." I rambled and he only chortled in amusement.

"Rhy, what do you want me to do? I know nothing about religion either." He stilled, finally catching another breath. "Listen, put your hand on Sullivan's thigh. Tease him a little, guys go crazy about that. Be confident. Own him," Victor ellborated. "Have a lil' fun, it's a movie theater. They're not for watching movies."

"Lemme rephrase that," I intercepted. "It's a religious movie! I'm pretty sure everybody in there is celibate!" I clasped a hand over my mouth, having to remember I was not alone in this public bathroom. "But nothing is wrong with that!" I added with a high tone.

"Oh, Princess, you aren't alone, are you?" He seemed disappointed. "Listen, mess with his mind. He might even treat you good if--"

"Ew," I exhaled. "I don't wanna blow him again--" My eyes widened and I snapped my mouth closed.

Shit.

Victor was dying of hysterics, finding the whole situation funny. "This is too easy," he mused into the phone. "Rhy, mess with his head. Or... touch yourself in front--"

"Victor!" I scolded. "It's a cinema!"

"Yeah," he said as if it was obvious. Then in a reminiscing tone, admitted, "I lost my virginity in a movie theater."

"Good to know," I snapped with a smile. "I look horrendous." I unlocked the stall door, noticing that my pink shirt was stained with butter. "This is my favorite shirt too." I walked out, joining a row of women in front of the sinks. They all looked at me strangely. I ignored and continued to stare weekly at the blotch of butter.

"You ruined your shirt?" he wondered.

"Yeah." My voice was unreasonably small compared to Victor's and I almost felt kinda sad. It wasn't exactly the shirt, but the whole situation of not knowing where Victor was, and the thought that he wasn't near seemed to bother me.

There was a long pause, then incoherent phrases as honking blasted through the speaker. I had to pull the phone a centimeter away so my ears wouldn't bleed. "Good," he concluded in my earshot. "Look, I'll be back in like a week or two--"

"That's a long ass time."

"When I get back, I'll take you to the mall and get you some nice clothes, okay? We'll find things that will definitely turn all eyes, especially Corbett's, on you, but my eyes on you wouldn't hurt."

I laughed in response to the last bit, but said, "that's something to look forward to." My fingers were playing with the fabric of my shirt, wanting to rub the pad of my thumb harder against the very noticeable stain. "Thanks, Vicky."

"No problem." He paused before assuring, "if you ever need me, call me. And if I don't answer, I will as soon as I can."

"That makes me feel better, kinda guilty for getting all upset that you left," I accidentally let slip. I tensed, waiting for his reply, but he was silent, nothing but the distant sounds of traffic in the speaker.

To my dismay, he brought it up, but unlike what I predicted, he said, "I'm sorry I made you upset. I'll be back soon." He was quiet and then added, "I should get going and let you go back to blowing him in a religious theater."

"Shut up!" I exclaimed silently, laughing to myself. "Alright, bye, Vicky. Love you--" Fuck. "No! No--force of habit, I mean technically yes, but technically no. I usually say it to Keiona before I hang up--" I prattled helplessly, trying to dig myself out of the bottomless pit I made.

"Keiona?" he questioned. "My hookup--Keiona? Since when are you two friends?" His voice was slightly sharp, but he was speaking through a smile. As I stumbled on my words, he added seductively, "and you technically love me. Damn, don't get me in my feels--"

"Oh, get over yourself." We shared a few more bits of laughter, then hung up with one last goodbye. I held the phone, then looked up to the mirror. The women had already dispersed, but I swore a few were in the stalls. "Shit, I just told him I technically love him," I uttered under my breath.

When I walked back into the theater, the popcorn container was halfway empty and I seated myself beside him. Smiling at his expression, but he was just blankly studying the theater screen as the change of lights flared across his face. Without warning, I positioned my hand on his denim clad thigh and he looked down, spreading open his legs a little more comfortably.

No! No! Turn that off--shit, Victor! I am not doing anything in a theater!

He teasingly moved into my hand, shifting the popcorn container to cover said hand as I was nearing... his... little him.

Fuck, I should've given Victor a hand-job for practice.

With Victor's words in my mind, I threw Sullivan's jacket which was laying across the chair, on top of my head as I lowered myself to the dirty cinema ground. Everything was dark and my jeans pressed against something wet.

Ewwww! I wanna gag... already.

I stared at him as he undid his belt.

This uh---smells.

Not even half as good as the first time, and nowhere near as exciting as Victor's, but that might've just been a comfort thing. I was definitely more relaxed around Victor, but like I mentioned, it was just because Sullivan was my crush and he still made me nervous because I wanted to impress him. Not only that, but I am in a cinema. A cinema with a row of people beside Sullivan a few seats away and a ground that has not been swept since opening night.

When I started, I did what Victor told me. To go gentle and agonizingly slow, because he liked it, but when I did that--Sullivan grabbed my head like a baseball and shoved me closer. It was enjoyable... I think. It was good. If I had to rate it, it would land itself a four out five star experience. I think it got booted down a half a star when I finally popped my head up and saw Jesus on the movie screen.

I feel his judgmental stare from up above. That or the kind man behind me who witnessed the whole thing.

♡♡♡

"So wait... I'm not following."

"You grab him by the balls and you demand authority," Keiona stated. "Look--"

"Oh, get away from me!" Jay exclaimed, stumbling in fear, laughing hysterically as Keiona rolled her head, placing her hands firmly on Jay's shoulders. Of course she was taller, but she crouched a bit to get to his height.

"Now, you tug on him and make-out with him." Keiona declared, "get some neck action, bite a little, but not in a cannibalistic way."

"Hot," voiced Victor through a computer screen. He was laying in a bed with an old beige wall was behind his head as a backdrop. It looked to be some cheap motel. "But I agree." The computer screen was propped on my office chair and I awkwardly sat at the edge of my bed. Refusing to ignore the chalkboard with 'How To Get Corbett' written at the top in cute handwriting. Keiona nodded to the board, plucking a piece of chalk and scribbled, step one.

"Men have low self-esteem."

At the same time, both Victor and Jay announced, "I do not!"

"They don't want to feel like a project," Keiona continued, "therefore, make them feel appreciated, accepted, and as if you want them as a whole. Never try and change them, only support their individual change." She was writing a simplified version on the classroom chalkboard in my bedroom.

"And vise versa!" Victor exclaimed. Lowering his voice and adding, "still can't get over you and my hookup being best friends--hey, Jay!" he called through the speaker. "Wheel me over to Rhy. I wanna see the board."

"I gotchu." Jay walked over to the office chair and fixed it so he could look at the board. I was rolling my eyes as I stared back at Keiona as she wrote the next number.

"Men also want to feel superior, it's fucked up and it's in their blood, but to do that, let yourself be open minded and let them feel like they are protecting you. Feel safe when walking at night with him for example, it feed their ego."  She waved her chalk in a melodramatic manner to make a point.

I crossed my arms childishly. "Excuse you, I'm an independent woman."

Victor stifled a laugh. "Yes, but you gotta fill his head with this crap so the chemicals work in his brain and he realizes how fucking incredible you are."

Keiona nodded to the computer screen with Victor's face on it. "What Virtual Victor said."

Jay prodded a finger out of his fist as he announced, "Don't be over accommodating. I know from being Sullivan's friend, he likes to do his own thing sometimes and on his own terms."

"Jackass," Keiona added under her breath, but nevertheless, added it as rule three.

Victor knocked on his computer which sent consecutive vibrations through the screen. "Give him space, but make sure he gives you space, if he ever becomes controlling because he does things on his terms, swat him like a fly."

I shook my head. "He's not controlling."

Keiona popped her knee out, situating a hand on her waist. "What am I missing?" She looked at the three steps. "There has to be more. Men are simple, but not that simple."

"Surprises," Victor stated, beckoning his head for her to write. "Men like excitement in the relationship. Whether that is physical or mental, just be yourself... you alone are filled with surprises," he sarcastically added.

"Was that an insult?" I shot a cold look at the computer camera.

"Never, Princess." He rolled his eyes.

After dismissing the confused exchange between Keiona and Jay, she wrote that step, then a number below it. "Oh, I know!" She jumped and wrote the words. "Make him think you're special."

"Fuck you, Keiona!" Victor barked through the screen. "She is perfectly special in her own unique way. I think she has that one down."

I stood up, lip to my finger as I mentioned, "what if my uniqueness is bland?" I paused, staring at the swamp green slate. "If I can find a way to draw a bit more attention to something that not everyone has, he'll find a reason to keep me."

Keiona opened her mouth, closing it. "That's not exactly what I mean."

"No, it's perfect." I took the chalk from her hand. Drawing an arrow from the last step to his name at the top. "I just have to be good at something."

"Driving people crazy?" Jay suggested.

"Lying about having animals?" Keiona added, looking to Moose who was staring at her with a death glare.

"Being unpredictable," Victor mentioned. "Look, you got a personality that is filled with excitement and--"

"Sullivan likes control." I ceased my breathing. "What if he doesn't like surprises." I crossed out surprises.

"Damn, my two sense meant nothing apparently," Victor muttered through the speaker, but his words were disconnected from his lips with a faint glitch. "Well, how much more change do you need?"

Jay nodded in agreement, approaching the board, standing behind my shoulder as I wiped away 'surprises' with my sleeve. Nothing but a white smudge across the board was left. "I need to be stable and know what I want. What do you call that?"

Jay defined, "egotistical?"

I made a popping noise with my mouth, pivoting to the board. "Nope." And at the dead center, after stepping away from the instructions, revealed to everyone the center goal.

5. Be Predictable

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