Chapter Forty-One

Zach

The sky was slowly turning dark. The first stars showed themselves above his head as Zach looked up through his windows. His hair was dripping wet from the shower he had just taken. His thoughts were far away.

A knock on the door pulled him back to reality. He turned around and adjusted the towel that he’d thrown around his waist when he got out of the shower.

“Come in,” he called.

Slowly, the door opened, and Irene’s head peeked around it. When she noticed him and saw the state he was in, her cheeks flushed. “Oh, er, sorry, I’ll come back in ten.”

She wanted to shut the door, but he was quick and stopped her from doing so.

“No, it’s alright. You can sit here.” He pointed at the armchair in his room. “I’ll put some clothes on in my dressing room.”

Her cheeks turned a darker shade of red, but she nodded. When he turned around, he heard her gasp. He turned his head and looked over his shoulder questioningly. “What?”

“Your back—there are a lot of scars.” She pointed at them.

“I know.” And he turned back to walk farther, but she stopped him.

“What happened?”

“I’ll tell you when I’m dressed.”

He was quick to put on some pants. His destined was waiting for him. They were finally going to have that long-awaited chat. He took his shirt back to where Irene was and caught her gaze when he walked in.

Her eyes roamed his body but kept going back to the tattoo he had on his chest. A tribute to his late father, who now appeared to be alive. He smirked but didn’t say anything.

She could deny all she wanted, but the bond was there, no doubt about it. He pulled his shirt over his head, and she said, “Tell me.” She leaned back in her seat to get comfortable.

“Most of them are from an attack that took place just before you saw me the first time in the office. Angelo did that. But some are from my father. He used to punish me with a whip,” he said, sitting down on the sofa.

Her eyes widened, then they revealed a bit of anger. “What kind of father hits his kid with a whip?”

“Mine did.” Zach shrugged. “He wanted to prepare me for my task as boss.”

“And beating up your kid is part of your upbringing? Do all mobsters do that to their kids?”

Zach sighed. “No, not everyone does that. When you’re a boss, you’re just a very easy target for enemies. It’s like walking around with a bullseye on your back.

“It’s not uncommon for bosses to be kidnapped, abused…murdered, even. My dad wanted to prepare me for the worst. We bosses, we have to be able to endure a lot of pain to be able to protect our families.”

“Still, couldn’t he have done it a different way?”

“You can’t prepare someone for a lot of pain unless you give him a lot of pain. The amount of pain I can tolerate is much higher than I would have tolerated without this treatment.”

She leaned forward on her elbows and looked him straight in the eye. “Are you going to treat our children the same way?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Our children?”

Only then did she realize what she’d said. “Er, yes, hypothetically speaking, I mean.”

Now Zach leaned forward too. His nose almost touched hers. “I think you meant it.” He smirked. “Do you want children with me? I thought I was going too fast, but you’re already thinking about children?”

She leaned back again to get out of his reach and sighed. “Just answer my question, please.”

“I don’t know how I’ll be once I become a dad. My firstborn will become boss though, so he or she will get different treatment.

“I’ll push him or her to their limits and far beyond. I will make sure that they are in the best shape possible, but no, I won’t beat my children.”

Irene let out the breath that she apparently had been holding in. She turned her head and looked out the window. They both kept quiet for a while, just enjoying each other’s company.

Zach kept looking at her, taking in every inch of her, really looking at how beautiful she was. He couldn’t help but smile a little—he was one lucky guy.

After a while, she looked back at him. “When Angelo was holding me, you told him I was normal, like I wasn’t special like you guys. Is that really all you think of me?”

He noticed the hurt evident in her eyes. “No, of course not! I just told him that so he would let you go.” His eyes grew wide when he realized that she’d thought he would think that badly of her.

He dropped down on his knees right in front of where she sat. He grabbed her hands and held them. “You have to believe me when I say that you mean the world to me.

“You’re everything I have waited for my whole life. You’re on my mind all the time, from when I wake up in the morning to when I fall asleep at night. I can’t think of anyone else.

“I want to hold you, keep you near, have you with me every minute of the day. I want to pledge myself to you, show everyone you’re mine, just as much as I am yours. Let everyone know that I love you more than anything else in this world.”

A droplet fell onto one of his hands. When he looked up, he saw that her eyes were watering. He frowned. “What is wrong? Did I say something wrong?”

She shook her head but didn’t say anything. When she looked into his eyes, he saw a storm going on. She took a deep breath.

“You didn’t say anything wrong. I just…” She shook her head again and looked down.

“What is it?” he said softly. “Tell me.”

“I don’t know if I can do this.” Another drop fell down onto his hands. “If I can adjust to your way of life. It’s so much different than mine. There’s so much I need to learn about you.

“The thing I would love to do most, right now, is to run back home and crawl under my comforter. When I saw you fighting those guys, I got scared. It looked so vicious—so very violent.

“I don’t know if I can live in a world where there’s so much bloodshed, so much hate, so much violence.” The tears streamed down her face.

Zach put his arms around her and pulled her closer to him so he could hug her. “Hey, look at me.” He cupped her chin with his hand, so he could look her in the eyes. “There’s a reason that you are my destined.

“It is not for nothing that you were chosen to be at my side. Only strong women can stand next to a boss and have them begging at their feet.

“The fact that you have me at your feet already says a lot about how strong you are and how much I want you. Need you. If you need time, I’ll give you time. If you need distance, I’ll give you distance.

“Hell, I’ll give you everything you need, as long as you give me a chance. As long as you give us a chance.” He wiped away her tears. “Please.”

She shook her head. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I can do this. I want to go home.”

He bowed his head, feeling rejected. This was what he’d feared most. This was what he’d been afraid of, and it seemed like it was all coming true.

He didn’t want to show her how hurt he was. That would only make it more difficult for them both.

“Then after everything is safe, I’ll let you go back home.” He looked back at her, hiding his emotions. “As long as you’re here, I won’t bother you.”

She nodded and wiped away a few stray tears. He let go of her hands, took a step back, and walked over to his window to look outside, waiting for her to leave the room.

He didn’t see how she hesitantly walked out, looking back over her shoulder.