: Chapter 29

I looked in the mirror, turning sideways, and put my hand on my belly.

A week had gone by since my trip to the emergency room, and I still couldn’t believe I was pregnant. Then again, it was easy to pretend I wasn’t when no one knew—not even Wilder. I’d promised myself I’d tell him before he went back to England three days ago, but I’d chickened out at the last minute. It was eating me alive to keep such a life-changing secret, so I’d decided I was telling him tomorrow. I even wrote up what I was going to say and practiced it in front of the mirror. I just needed to get through the wedding tonight, let him enjoy the evening with his friends, and then it would be time.

Wilder and I were supposed to go the wedding together. I usually traveled with Elijah, but his grandma had died unexpectedly three days ago. So he was back home in Utah until Sunday, and a substitute photographer was filling in. Then Wilder’s flight had been delayed, so I was going by myself. It might’ve been the first time I was relieved he wasn’t with me. The wedding would keep him busy, what with groomsmen duties and all, and it would be one less lie I’d have to tell when he inevitably asked why I was quiet. The excuse of a concussion and being tired was wearing thin. He was already asking if I should go see the doctor again, and I hated to make him worry.

I took one last look in the mirror. To settle my nerves today, I’d kept myself busy—doing my hair in loose curls, applying a full face of makeup that included sultry cat eyes, and painting my fingernails and toes. My dress was gorgeous—green, as Wilder preferred, low cut, and with a slit higher than I’d normally wear. I looked good—really good even. Now if only the way I looked on the outside could seep into how I felt on the inside.

I took one last look down at my belly and wondered how much longer I’d fit into my stock of dresses. Heaving a deep sigh, I grabbed my silver clutch and headed for the door.

Tonight’s wedding was at a venue I’d covered before for the magazine. It would’ve been my choice for my own wedding, if the price had been anywhere near what Josh and I could’ve afforded. I loved it so much that not even my nerves put a damper on the excitement I felt as we pulled up to the New York Public Library.

It was a magical building, especially at night with a red carpet rolled out on the grand marble staircase and twinkling lights adorning the handrails. I snapped a few pictures for the magazine’s social media, then made my way inside.

“Hey, Sloane.” Aiden, the groom from the very first wedding I’d attended for this project, stood in the rotunda. He was a nice guy, unlike his other half, Piper.

“Hi, Aiden. How are you?”

“Good.” He pointed down a hall and smiled. “Just waiting for my lovely bride.”

Lovely? To each his own, I guess. “How is Piper?”

He slipped his hands into his pockets and rocked from heel to toe. “Pregnant.”

My jaw dropped, but I somehow managed to recover with a smile. “Wow. That’s … well, fast. But great news. Congratulations.”

He beamed. “Piper wanted to start a family right away. It happened the first month we tried.”

“That’s amazing.”

Piper came down the hall. She had on a barely off-white dress—at a wedding. Yet she looked me up and down.

“Green.” She pursed her lips in a judgy smile. “Again.”

It was difficult to not roll my eyes. Instead, I forced an over-the-top smile. “Hello, Piper. How are you?”

“Pregnant.”

“Yes. Congratulations.” I pointed to her husband. “Aiden just told me the good news.”

“I would’ve liked to have waited, but I didn’t want to be pregnant at the same time as half of Aiden’s friends. It was bad enough we all got married the same year. I’d like to at least have the limelight for myself and my baby instead of sharing it again.”

That might be the first positive thing I’d felt about being pregnant … It would annoy Piper when she found out.

“I hear you and Wilder are still a thing?” she said, narrowing her eyes.

I nodded. “We’re together, yes.”

“Then I guess congratulations are in order for you, too. You’ve held on to him longer than the rest of them.”

This woman was really something. I couldn’t even muster a good fake smile—she got the plastic one. “I should get going to the bridal suite.”

I was thankful she wasn’t one of the bridesmaids, so I didn’t have to be around her anymore. Though when I walked into the bridal suite and saw a sea of the same blue dresses, I wondered if she was the only guest who wasn’t part of the bridal party. The room also smelled like the Sephora perfume department the week before Christmas. It made me a little nauseous.

“Hi.” I looked around and spoke to an attendant. “I’m a writer for Bride magazine. I’m covering the wedding tonight for a feature. Is the bride here?”

“She’s in the next room with the rest of the bridal party.”

“The rest of the bridal party? How many are there exactly?”

The woman laughed. “Twenty-two bridesmaids. Apparently that’s the bride’s lucky number. Counting the groomsmen and the bride and groom, there are forty-six in the wedding.”

“Wow.” Note to self for a future YouTube episode: How many bridesmaids is enough? I’d have to text that to myself so I wouldn’t forget. “Did you happen to see a photographer from the magazine?” I asked her. “I’m meeting someone, and I’m not sure what they look like.”

“I think he’s already in with the bride. But to be honest, I’ve lost track of where everyone is because there are so many people.”

With a nod, I took a deep breath and went in search myself. I’d been expecting the worst—a bride with twenty-two bridesmaids must be a diva—but I was pleasantly surprised. Marley seemed lovely. It turned out her family was a foster-care host, and most of the bridal party were her foster siblings from the last two decades. She didn’t want to leave anyone out since she considered them all family. I’d misjudged that one. The hour I spent getting to know everyone and working with the substitute photographer was pretty fun.

As the bridal party lined up for the ceremony, I realized I hadn’t even thought about the fact that I was pregnant. At least until a hand wrapped around my stomach. Wilder hauled me against him. “There’s my girl.” His hot breath against my neck sent chills across my body.

I turned. “Hey. You made it.”

He pressed his lips to mine. “I missed you.”

I smiled. “It’s only been three days.”

“Three days too long.”

The music playing in the chapel stopped, and I thought they might be getting ready to start the wedding march. “I’d better take my seat.”

“See you after the ceremony.”

I always tried to sit toward the back of the crowd, not wanting to take a better seat than a real guest. But I’d lingered in the bridal suite too long, and now there were only seats left toward the front. Mine had a clear view straight to Wilder once everyone had taken their places, and I felt him watching me throughout the ceremony. There was a warmth in his gaze that I hadn’t noticed before, and it made me think maybe … just maybe he might not be upset with my news.

That was a dangerous thought to have. I’d readied myself for the worst response—that he wanted nothing to do with me or the baby. Because I could handle being happily surprised. But I wasn’t sure I could handle allowing myself to believe things could work out and then being disappointed.

Though the seed had been planted now. And all I could do for the next forty-five minutes of stolen glances and exchanged smiles was water it and watch it bloom.

Maybe he would be happy.

Maybe he felt the same way about me as I felt about him.

The length of time you’re with someone wasn’t really important. When you know, you know.

Then I started to picture it—all the dreams I’d had as a young girl and had given up after Josh.

A wedding. My niece as a junior bridesmaid. Lucas as a junior usher. Flowers. A new dress. Maybe a honeymoon somewhere tropical. A house—a picket fence. A yard. A dog, maybe two. Doctor’s appointments together where we’d hold hands and stare at the sonogram screen in awe together.

Maybe …

Just maybe.

I was still daydreaming when the ceremony ended. I didn’t even snap out of it during the post-ceremony bridal pictures. At one point, I caught Wilder watching the bride and groom. His eyes slanted to mine as if to say, You’ll be my bride one day.

Apparently the seed I’d planted was ivy—because it just kept growing and growing. And I allowed it. This had been the most stressful week of my life, and I needed a little breather. Wilder made it easy. He seemed to be in a particularly playful mood tonight, all lovey-dovey.

Once wedding-party duties were done and the reception was underway, Wilder led me out to the dance floor. He took one of my hands in his and the other wrapped around my waist and tugged me close.

“I love you in green. You look beautiful,” he said.

I smiled as we swayed to the music. There had to be three hundred people in the room, but the way Wilder looked at me made me feel like it was just the two of us. “Thank you. And you look handsome. With most men, a tuxedo wears them, but you wear the tuxedo.”

“I have no idea what that means, but I’ll take it as a compliment.”

I laughed. “It was meant that way.”

Usually when I was this close to Wilder, what I saw in his eyes was heat—not that I faulted him for that. My body lit on fire when the man stepped into the room. But tonight, something was different. I saw more.

Wilder shook his head. “I really don’t know what I would’ve done if anything had happened to you.”

I smiled. “Well, you’re not going to have to find out, because I’m fine.”

“Maybe. But it was a wake-up call, a reminder that life is short, and I don’t want to have regrets.”

“What would you regret?”

He looked into my eyes. “Not telling you I was in love with you.”

My heart raced. “You love me?”

“I’ve felt it for a long time, but I was too afraid to say the words. But I’m done being a chickenshit. I love you, Sloane Carrick.”

Tears filled my eyes, happy ones. And that ivy grew a little taller. “I love you, too.”

Wilder closed his eyes. When he opened them, it looked like he was on the verge of tears as well.

My heart was so full.

He loves me.

Wilder loves me.

So many emotions bubbled up, it was difficult to contain them all. It hit me that I didn’t want this moment to be marred by a secret. I hadn’t been planning on telling him until tomorrow, but it felt right.

Wilder loves me.

It would be okay.

So I took a deep breath and swallowed. “I’m … pregnant.”

The change was immediate. Wilder’s face fell, and he took a step back. He let go of me. “What did you say?”

“I … I’m pregnant.”