20 | Caught Up On You

"You know, you can totally tell me to get lost if you don't want me to third wheel you and Zack," I say to Lizzie as she takes one of the popcorn buckets from the food table.

The set up for movie night looks great, and I can see why the staff was busy putting it together all day. There's a large, white screen positioned in front of the lake, and colorful sheets decorate the sand. Most campers have brought their own blankets, towels, and pillows to make things extra comfortable. A few got here early enough to snag the few available lounge chairs and bean bags— including Rita, of course. She and her crew have been shooing away anyone who even dares to try siting within a foot radius.

Liz and I are at the start of the beach, where there are multiple tables of paper plates and cups, various sodas and juices, bags of chips, candy, and pre-portioned buckets of popcorn courtesy of the kitchen staff.

Thankfully, yesterday's sudden storm didn't feel like sticking around, so there are no worries about us getting rained out. The night is clear and comfortably chilly thanks to the breeze blowing off of the lake. Best of all, Zack was nice enough to rush down here and set up a blanket far, far away from Rita and Co.

"As if!" Lizzie wheels around to face me. "Come on, I am so not about to ditch you just because Zack and I are an item. Plus, I think this bucket has enough popcorn for like, ten people— we'll need your help polishing it off."

I can practically feel my heart swell at the words. At least there's one irrational, paranoia-fueled fear officially debunked. "I guess I just figured you two might want some time alone."

Lizzie laughs shortly as my eyes scan the snack selection. "Yeah, alone time on the beach with every other person at camp."

I smile as I grab a bag of sour gummies and a bottle of water. "Fair enough."

"I don't know if we'll get another moment alone. I mean, finding somewhere empty around here is like getting struck by lightning." Lizzie scrunches her nose as we slowly start back to the beach. "Although, if I'm being honest, it's kind of a relief."

I raise my eyebrows, freezing in my tracks. My head swirls with confusion, heart sinking— trouble in paradise already? Just when I thought I was starting to understand the appeal of relationships again, my best example of a healthy one flakes out on me. "You don't want to be alone with Zack?"

"It's not that! Well— I mean— I dunno. Sort of?"

"That clears things up," I joke, watching her expression contort as she tries to sort it out in her head.

"I'm still just as crazy about Zack as ever," she explains as the two of us walk again. "But what you walked in on was a heat of the moment type thing. It was my first real kiss, unless we're counting Jimmy Quan on the playground when I was eight years old. I guess I'm just... nervous."

"Nervousness." I nod, watching my feet so I don't accidentally trip over any sitting campers. "Definitely something I can understand."

Lizzie squeals, jumping up and down as she grabs onto my shoulder. "Let me guess, butterflies in your stomach and life-threatening heart palpitations served up by the popcorn popper himself?" She plops a piece of the buttery goodness into her mouth for emphasis.

I sigh, unable to fight the way I do get butterflies in my stomach just from thinking about him. "Bingo."

She lets out another high-pitched noise, places a hand over her heart, and looks up at the stars with a dreamy stare. "You two will be so cute together."

I tell her to shut up, but can't stop the blush that creeps up my neck.

• • • 🌻 • • •

We're about halfway through Jaws when someone's bright yellow sneakers stop right next to me. When I look up I'm met with Ethan's smiling face, and the butterflies in my stomach are instantaneous. I have to admit it to myself: I'd been waiting, hoping he'd show up like he said he might.

"You guys have room for one more?" he asks, looking between the three of us.

Lizzie beams at me from her spot under Zack's arm, an unspoken I told you so floating between us.

"Uh, yeah, of course," I say, scooting over to make room for him. He sits cross-legged next to me on the soft blanket, and as he does, our knees brush. My heart skips in my chest, my attention now far, far away from the movie.

"So," I start, keeping my voice hushed even though the film is so loud that the scattered chatter doesn't seem to bother anyone, "How was potato duty?"

He grins, adjusting himself so he's facing me instead of the movie screen. "Let's just say popcorn duty is actually fun in comparison. But that might just be because I knew once I was done I could come find you."

I can't even try to hide the smile that grows on my face at his words, and I'm sure my blushing is just as obvious. If I was doubting it before, I couldn't now: Ethan definitely just flirted with me.

I look over and catch Lizzie looking at us with wide eyes— she quickly snaps her attention to the movie, but is still biting back a grin of her own. As my gaze wanders over the crowd behind her, I catch the eyes of someone who's watching us a lot less discreetly.

"We've got spectators, you know," I tell Ethan. He turns to follow my gaze, which is locked on Rita. As soon as he spots her she turns away, pretending as if she'd never been looking over at all.

He shrugs, turning back to me with a sheepish expression. "Maybe she'll figure out that if I wanted to be sitting with her, I would be."

"Well, I hate to break it to you, but I don't think Rita's the hint-taking type."

"I can't believe we have to deal with her all summer," Zack interjects, causing Lizzie to giggle against him. "I don't know how the drama kids can stand having class with her."

"Hey, I'm the one who has to go back to school with her. You guys should be thankful you only have to tolerate her for twenty more days," I joke.

Lizzie's laughter falls into a pout. "I can't believe there's already only twenty days left. It seems like we just got here. Plus, it doesn't give us a lot of time to come up with and execute a killer prank."

I freeze, avoiding Ethan's eyes. I can feel him looking at me, even as I pretend I'm suddenly really interested in the early work of Steven Spielberg.

"I know," Zack agrees, sounding defeated. "I've been trying to think of something, but my brain is fried."

I finally look over to see Ethan looking at me with a tilted head and furrowed brows. He raises them in question, but I don't know what to say. Clearly he thought I would've told them how I felt by now. How am I supposed to tell him I'm not even sure if I will?

"Um, I'm gonna go grab another soda," I say, quickly standing up and grabbing my empty bottle. "I'll be right back."

I get out of there as fast as I can without it looking like I'm making an escape. As I weave through groups of campers and make my way back to the snack tables, I try not to let the embarrassment sink in too much. Do I seem like a coward to him? Or worse, a liar? I never said I would tell Zack and Lizzie that I wanted to end the war, but I also never denied it.

I throw my empty Sprite into the large recycling container and head over to the mostly empty soda display, staring blankly at the bottles. Should I have come clean right then? Maybe it would've been the perfect time— Ethan would've been there to back me up if either of them thought it was a bad idea to stop the war. But him being there doesn't mean that they wouldn't have gotten upset about me backing out.

There's a tap on my shoulder, and I figure it's someone asking me to move out of the way until I turn and come face to face with Ethan. I'm so caught off guard that I just stare at him like a deer in headlights, not knowing what to say.

Thankfully, he doesn't look mad. Actually, he looks kind of amused, albeit a little perplexed. "Del?"

I offer a guilty smile, knowing it'd be useless to play dumb. "I'm guessing you didn't walk over here because you're thirsty."

"What happened? You haven't told them yet?"

I shrug and shake my head.

He hesitates for a second, seeming to study me. "Are you going to tell them?"

I sigh, leaning against the low table. "I don't know. I just want to do what's right."

"And stopping all this wouldn't be?" His voice isn't harsh, but it's tenser than it was a minute ago.

"You're mad, I know. But Lizzie needs me."

"I'm not mad, I just... I'm worried. I like you, Del, I care about you. And I hate to think that one of these days I won't see you in the line at the mess hall like I do every morning, and that I'll have to hear through the grapevine how you got kicked out for getting caught doing something stupid."

My knees feel weak from his admission, but my brain decides to play offense. "Rita deserves it."

"Trust me, I know. What she doesn't deserve is to take up ninety percent of your thoughts, and I can't for the life of me figure out why you keep letting her. I mean, if you thought about me even half as much as you think about her, I'd be the happiest guy on Earth."

I can't stop my eyes from widening, feeling insulted, called out, and yet also like it's one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me.

"Del, I've only known you for two weeks and I'm already so caught up on you." The words are drenched with simmering anger, but it doesn't stop my heart from fluttering.

"But..." He raises his hands and lets them fall in frustration. "You're so focused on them that I don't even think you've noticed." He shakes his head. "Or... maybe you have."

He doesn't have to finish the thought, because the insinuation is obvious. If I've noticed his feelings, I've done nothing to let him know they're reciprocated.

I want to tell him he has it all wrong— that I have noticed him, that I practically melt every time he talks to me, that the only reason I haven't shown my feelings is because I thought I was fooling myself into believing I had a chance with him.

"I should get back to work," Ethan says. Before I get the courage to say anything, he's already merging with the crowd, heading towards the mess hall.

My heart aches in my chest as my mind asks the same question over and over: what can I do to make everyone happy? But I know what it's really asking. What all of my indecision really boils down to.

What do I have to do so that no one leaves again?

hey everyone!

I want to give a massive apology for leaving this story without an update for so long. I had lost my inspiration for TAOBAT and felt really blah about everything that I tried to write for it. I left it on hold for way longer than I ever meant to, and I can't thank you enough if you're still here. Your encouraging comments really helped pull me through my rut, so again, thank you so so much. ❤

On a happier note, I've finally completed writing the story and will be updating daily for the remainder of the chapters! I figure it's the least I can do for having kept you waiting for so long.