Chapter Fifty-Four

"I'm Hydra."

I stared at Grant in shock. He had to be kidding, right? There's no way he's for real.

"That's not a very funny joke."

"I'm not laughing."

"Okay, well I refuse to believe my best friend is a murderous traitor, so why don't you explain?"

"I'm Hydra, Slater. I have been since the day we met."

I didn't say anything, mostly because I didn't trust myself not to scream, cry, or hit him. Or all three. I just waited for him to continue.

"When Garrett pulled me out of juvy, he didn't just recruit me to SHIELD. He recruited me to be a double agent within SHIELD. That's what I've been doing since day one at SHIELD. Lying and spying."

I looked away, closed my eyes, and held the bridge of my nose. It felt like everything was spinning. This could not be happening.

"What have you done?" I asked.

"I know, Slater. I know."

"No, you don't. I'm asking you what, exactly, you have done to serve Hydra in your time at SHIELD."

I heard Grant shift nervously in his seat, but I didn't open my eyes.

"I told Garrett about Audrey, Coulson's old flame in Portland. I've been lying in wait on the team, ready to do Garrett's bidding at a moment's notice. I was supposed to shoot Thomas Nash to mislead all of you, and I was supposed to shoot Victoria Hand and anyone else on this plane to free Garrett on the way to the Fridge."

I shook my head and opened my eyes, taking my hand away from the bridge of my nose. I gave Grant a confused look.

"Did you know about the plane that came down and shot Hand anyway?"

"No, I swear I didn't."

I sighed in relief and slumped back in my seat.

"Well then, Grant, you really didn't do anything! I mean, you told Garrett about Coulson's old girlfriend, but that's it!"

"You don't get it," he said through gritted teeth. "I was here, and I was going to take the plane. I wasn't going to shoot you, but I was going to shoot EVERY SINGLE OTHER AGENT! I was going to kill innocent people for John Garrett!"

"Yeah, but you didn't!"

"But I was going to! I was willing to, until you came along!"

"Yeah, and I was going to leave our long-term survival gear on the plane before the Siberia mission because I thought we wouldn't need it on an in-and-out mission, until you came along and convinced me to bring it! 'Almost' and 'could have' mean nothing!"

"SAMANTHA I AM A HYDRA AGENT! You should be more upset!"

"You said that in the present tense. Are you still a Hydra agent?"

"I-! Well, no, I guess not anymore."

"Okay, cool. You did nothing in the past, you're not going to do anything in the future, so problem solved. As in, THERE IS NO PROBLEM!"

"Why aren't you more bothered by this?"

"Because you started talking like you were an active traitor! But you're not, Grant. You literally did nothing but share a small piece of gossip about Coulson."

"I am not a good man, Samantha."

"Who fed you that line of BS? Garrett? Your parents? Whoever it was Grant, I'm going to find them and punch them in the face, because that's the biggest lie I've ever heard. You are an amazing man. You're one of the best people I know."

"How are you not grasping any of the words in 'Hydra agent'?"

"I'm grasping them, but you're not. 'Hydra agent' refers to the murderers and traitors who kicked our team to the curb. You didn't do that. You stuck by us and ditched Garrett."

"But I wasn't going to! When I was getting on that plane, I was committed to Garrett. Hell, when I was on the plane with you, I was committed to him!"

"Okay, but you're still not hearing me. Your actions and choices speak louder than what you were thinking about or planning. I swore I wasn't going to leave my bed until you came back after everything on the Helicarrier, and I stuck to it until May forcefully dragged me off that path. Neither of us are defined by those plans!"

Grant shook his head like he thought I was crazy. He opened his mouth to protests again, but I got a call from Phil before he could.

"Hold that thought, think it through, realize it's irrational, and then let it go," I ordered as I answered the call. "Hey Phil."

"Samantha. Where are you?"

"Grant and I are flying back to the Hub. I hate to have to tell you this, but Garrett had a trick up his sleeve. A Hydra-commandeered Quinjet surprised us and took the Freezer, freeing Garrett and killing everyone but me and Grant."

"Including Hand?"

"Including Hand."

"Damn. I hate to add to the bad news, but the US government is after us now. We're on the run, but we found a secret base in Canada. I'll send you the coordinates, you'll need to meet us there."

"Great. This is officially one of the worst days ever. We'll see you soon."

"See you soon."

Phil hung up, and I slammed my head back against the seat and closed my eyes. This was too much to deal with.

"What did he say?" asked Grant.

"We're now fugitives from the US government. We're going to new coordinates of a secret base in Canada."

Grant scoffed and changed the course in our autopilot. All I wanted was for this day to be over, but I wasn't about to get that lucky. Grant was still determined to argue.

"You didn't tell Coulson about me."

"About you gossiping about his ex? No, I didn't."

"You shouldn't be keeping secrets for me."

"As far as I'm concerned, there's no secret to keep. If you want to talk to Phil, fine, but I maintain that your guilt is misplaced. You never acted as a Hydra agent."

"I never told you."

I just sighed. It was a big secret to keep for so long, but after everything happening today, I wasn't about to throw a fit over it.

"Samantha, you came to me about Hydra on the helicarrier, and I didn't say or do anything."

I turned my head to meet Grant's eyes. I wanted to make sure he listened to what I was saying.

"So what, Grant? I've just lost almost everything I know, everything I've been doing with my life since high school. You're still here, and you're still with me. I'm not going to lose you, too. If you're so determined to make up for it, buy me some chocolate and let's have a High School Musical marathon with no complaining."

Grant shook his head again, sighing in exasperation.

"I don't get it Slater," he said as we headed towards the plane ramp. The jet was on autopilot, and it was landing at the super secret base right now.

"Don't get what?" I sighed.

"Why you don't hate me. You should. I'm a terrible person, and I've done nothing but lie to you!"

"That is not even close to true! You didn't lie about mountain goats, or about your opinions on my drink taste! You didn't lie about your missions, or how you felt about our missions! You didn't lie about what you thought about my reports, or how you feel about Chopped! You didn't lie about our friendship! You didn't lie about the important parts of your past! You let me in when you shut out everyone else, and you never lied about being there for me!"

"From the beginning, I was keeping things from you. I hid things from you. I'm not a good friend! I'm not a good man! You don't seem to understand that you should hate me! I don't deserve your loyalty or friendship or-"

"Ugh!" I yelled over him as he kept talking. "How do I make you understand?"

I looked around helplessly, tuning out Grant's protests. Suddenly, I had an idea.

But it was crazy.

"-You should've thrown me out of the plane and left me at the Fridge-!"

Grant kept going, and I realized this situation might just call for crazy.

I'd known for a while that I liked Grant as more than a friend, but everything had been so busy lately that I'd never really had the time (or courage, if I'm being honest) to do something about it. Now, I was beginning to realize there would never be a good time.

As Grant kept rambling and ranting nonsense about his flaws, I stepped closer to him. I could feel myself shaking with nerves, but Grant was so frenzied now he didn't notice. I took a deep breath, grabbed the collar of his jacket, and kissed him full on the mouth.

He was so shocked he literally froze. After a second, I pulled away. I could feel my face burning. Grant didn't say or do anything. He just stayed still as a rock, staring blankly at some point over my shoulder, completely slack-jawed.

"I'm sorry," I started. What was I thinking? "I just wanted you to understand that I don't hate you, that I could never hate you, and that I really, really like you, and I know that was crazy but I didn't know what else to do and I-"

I was cut off as Grant came to his senses and moved forward, wrapping his hands around my waist and pulling me in for another kiss. At first I was surprised, but then I relaxed, my mouth moving perfectly against his. It had been a long road but finally, finally, I was kissing Grant Ward.

After a few more seconds, we broke apart. I was grinning like an idiot, but so was he.

"Sorry," said Grant, with an arrogant smile. "But you were getting just as worked up as I was."

"Hey, I'm sure as hell not complaining." I giggled (very unbecoming of a SHIELD agent, but I couldn't help it), and buried my head in his chest. He pulled me closer as we felt the jet touch down. We stayed like that for another minute, before returning to reality and facing the door to the ramp.

"So you're sure you don't hate me?" Grant asked one last time. I turned and gave him my best 'are you kidding me' look.

"Dude. One-hundred percent. C'mon, I don't kiss people I hate."

Grant smirked and grabbed my hand, pulling me against him again.

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Good." He leaned down to kiss me again, and I gladly met him halfway. As our lips touched, I couldn't help thinking that this was how it was meant to be. Me and Grant. No matter what.

After a long, lingering kiss, I reluctantly pulled away.

"Our team is waiting for us."

"They can wait another thirty seconds. I've been waiting for this a long time."

I smiled and gave in. I ran one hand through Grant's hair and he pulled me even closer. Kissing him felt like total sensory overload, but in the best way in the world.

"Now we really do need to go," I said, completely breathless as we broke apart again.

"Fine. But only if you promise we can continue this later."

"Of course."

"Then deal."

We finally let down the ramp and trekked through a few feet of snow to the secret base's secret entrance, holding hands the whole way.

"I think I'm going to tell Coulson everything I told you when we get inside," said Grant.

I nodded. "Do you want me there?"

He shook his head. "That's okay. Thank you though."

"Of course. Let me know if you change your mind."

He nodded, then said, "This secret door thing remind you of anything?"

I thought for a minute, and then it came to me.

"Something out of a Paula Pinske novel! Oh my gosh, how did you see that and I didn't?" I laughed.

"You're losing your touch. You need to reread some of those books," he answered. We both had the dorkiest grins on our faces, but neither of us cared.

Suddenly, a robotic voice spoke out of nowhere.

"Identify yourself."

I glanced at Grant, practically giddy. This was literally just like a scene in the second book.

"Agent Samantha Slater of SHIELD."

"Agent Grant Ward of SHIELD."

"Welcome Agents. We've been expecting you." As the voice spoke, the secret door started sliding open. I looked at Grant.

"Oh no way. This is too cool."

Grant laughed. "You're adorable when you get excited like this."

I grinned and tried to hide my blush, which made Grant smile even wider. I gave his hand a squeeze as the door finished sliding open, revealing Fitz standing in the hallway.

"I'm so glad you're back. I was worried-" Fitz stopped mid-sentence when he saw us holding hands. "No. Way. Does this mean Grammy is officially canon?"

"What?" asked Grant, sounding completely lost. I just face-palmed with my free hand.

"Yes, Fitz. Thank you. And don't worry Grant, I'll explain it later."

"This is unbelievable. I have to go tell Simmons." He started rushing off, but I stopped him.

"Wait! Fitz, where do we go? Where's Coulson?"

"Oh. Right, sorry. Down this hallway and to the left. He'll be in the first room."

"Great. Thanks Fitz!"

"No problem!" he called over his shoulder as he rushed down the opposite hallway.

"You wanna explain that thing he said now?" asked Grant as we started walking down the hallway Fitz pointed us to.

"It's a name for our relationship, a combination of our names. Grant and, I guess, Sammy, to make Grammy. Canon means it's official."

"Oh. How do you know these things?"

"I'm a fangirl."

"Right. Of course."

I just smiled. When we went through the door and met back up with Phil, we'd have plenty more challenges to face. This long, long day wasn't over by a mile, but at least now I was confident Grant and I would deal with whatever came, together.