Chapter Thirty

4k!!!!!!!!!❤️❤️❤️

****************

The medical team that came with Fury pulled a sheet over Phil's head and carried him away. I didn't move, I just kept staring at the place he used to be. There was a bloodstain on the Helicarrier wall now.

I thought I heard Grant calling my name, but he sounded far away. I couldn't focus on anything but Coulson.

Coulson. I hadn't realized it until it was too late, but I considered him my adopted father.

And now he was dead.

I started to feel it now. I felt hot tears streaming down my face, I felt the chill in the air that Coulson used to breathe, I felt the ache in my heart from losing him. And I felt Grant, with his arms wrapped around me. He came to stand in front of me, and I forced myself to focus on him and snap out of it.

"Samantha, please, you're scaring me," he said. I had no idea how long he was trying to get my attention, but I was here now. I was here, and Coulson wasn't, but he would want me to keep going.

"I'm here Grant," I said quietly.

"Thank God," he said, letting out a sigh of relief and pulling me into a hug. I slowly started moving again, wrapping my arms around Grant and burying my head in his chest.

"He's gone," I whispered, starting to cry again.

"I know. I'm sorry. But Samantha, you're not gone. You have to stay here and keep going. You know that's what he would've wanted."

"I know, but Grant, he was-" I choked on the words.

"The person who brought you in to SHIELD? Your first connection to this whole world? I get that, but Samantha-"

"No Grant he was like a dad!" I exclaimed, pushing back so I could look him in the face. I was breathing hard, trying to keep the pain of saying it out loud from overcoming me again. "He was like a dad. I haven't had a dad in a long time. I finally found someone that I could count on like a parent, and now he's dead, just like my real dad."

Grant looked at me for a minute, then pulled me back into a hug. He didn't say anything, just held me there, and I cried into his shirt. We stood like that for what felt like forever, completely silent, not needing words to communicate. Grant was here, and he would help me in whatever way he could.

Slowly, I stopped crying. I wiped my eyes and nose and I pulled back, starting to feel determination steel my heart.

"What can we do now? What can we do to keep Phil from dying in vain?" I asked.

"I'll find out," said Grant, starting towards the nearest other agent, "I'll be right back."

I stared down at the new bloodstain again, then turned away to join Ward. Sitting here and crying was not going to take down Loki, and it definitely wouldn't bring Phil back. I could crawl into bed and grieve once this was over, but right now, I had a job to do.

"So?" I asked Grant.

"The whole ship has been almost completely destroyed. All the superheros SHIELD brought on board—apparently they're calling themselves the Avengers now—took a Quinjet and went after Loki, so don't worry about him, but we need to do everything in our power to get this ship operational again."

I nodded. "Are communications operational?"

"Not sure. They weren't originally, but they might be now. Why?"

"I want to ask Steve to punch Loki in the face for me."

****************

Grant and I made our way to the bridge (now that everything had gone to hell no one said anything about me being a level 5), and I picked up the first communicator I could find.

"Steve?" I asked, speaking into the comm.

"Who is this?" he asked.

"Samantha. I heard you were going after Loki."

"We are."

"Good. Kick his ass for me."

Steve paused, then apparently heard something in my voice that told him not to ask. "Will do."

I pulled the comm out of my ear and turned around, only to come face to face with Director Fury.

"You're the agent who marched up to my office to demand a change to the partners rule."

"Yes sir."

"You were close with Coulson?"

"Very, sir."

He nodded. "It's not over."

He turned and walked away, leaving me wondering what the hell he was talking about. Sure, the "Avengers" were going after Loki, but Coulson was dead. For him, it was over.

I shook my head and went back to Grant, who had been productive and found us something to do while I was calling Steve.

"Let's go," he said, "We're doing repairs on the upper decks. The sooner we can get this thing fully operational, the sooner we can help take down Loki."

I nodded and we headed off the bridge. We quickly joined a few agents already working on repairs, and I put my head down and focused completely on the job at hand. If I let my mind wander, I started thinking about Coulson.

Grant and I and the crew of other agents slowly made our way around the ship, repairing anything and everything we could. I heard people rushing back and forth across the top deck, but I only focused on one job at a time, hoping that it would somehow help me deal with Phil.

The whole time, Grant had been right next to me. He didn't speak, but he was there, and that was enough. Once we finished with the most recent project, he pulled me aside.

"I just got a briefing on my comm," he said. I had taken my comm out so that I didn't have to listen to everything going on.

"What's up?" I asked.

"They did it. The Avengers fended off an alien attack and took down Loki, and now the Helicarrier is about as operational as we can make it without actually landing. We're done. It's time to go home."

I nodded solemnly and set down my tools. I was glad to be leaving the Helicarrier, but that meant I'd have to try to cope with Coulson's death.

Grant and I walked side by side towards a waiting Quinjet that would take a group of us back down to the Triskelion. We were about to board when another agent came up and stopped us.

"Agent Ward, you're not going to the Triskelion," he said.

"What?" Ward and I both said at the same time.

"You're being immediately assigned to an undercover position in Copenhagen."

"You mean me and Agent Slater, right?"

"No, just you."

"Agent Slater and I are partners," said Grant, his voice sounding tight.

The agent looked at his datapad, then back at us. "Sorry, it's just you. This is a solo mission and you're the right agent for the job, apparently."

I bit my lip, trying hard not to cry. I couldn't believe this was happening.

"I'm not going," said Grant, "I work with a partner, and I'm not available to change that now."

The agent with the datapad opened his mouth to argue, but I turned to Grant before he could.

"Grant, it's ok," I said, trying to be convincing, "You can't turn down an assignment, especially one where you were specifically requested. This is huge for you, and you can't miss it."

"Samantha, I'm not about to leave you like this."

"You don't have a choice." I took a deep breath and forced myself to stop thinking about what losing him would be like. As much as I wanted Grant to stay with me, I couldn't let him. I couldn't let him throw away this opportunity for me. "Grant, I will be ok. You need to do this. Seriously."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Just promise me you'll pick up one of those emergency phones we talked about and send me the number," I said, giving him a smile. I hoped it didn't look too forced.

Grant paused, then said, "I promise."

"Well," said the other agent, clearing his throat awkwardly, "If you'll follow me Agent Ward."

Grant started walking, but I pulled him back into a hug.

"Stay safe out there," I said.

"You too. And call me if you need me."

I let him go and he gave me one last wave before he disappeared belowdecks with the other agent.

I dug my fingernails into my palms and walked determinedly onto the waiting Quinjet. As I strapped myself in next to a dozen strangers, I kept repeating over and over, I will not cry here.

After a painfully silent ride, the Quinjet landed back at the Triskelion. I wandered off in a daze, feeling extremely lost now that Ward wasn't with me.

I hadn't walked very far when I came face to face with Agent May. I hadn't seen her in a while. She had resigned herself to paperwork after a mission went south in Bahrain, and she had become almost completely closed off. I'd tried to talk to her about it, but she had always refused.

"I heard," she said, not moving, just standing a few feet in front of me. I couldn't help it. I broke. I closed the distance between us and hugged May for all I was worth, sobbing into her shoulder.

"About Grant too?" I asked. She nodded, then hugged me back.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Me too."

We stayed there like that for a long time, not saying much, May completely silent, me clinging to the only SHIELD family I had left.

****************

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry this one is so sad, but don't worry, it will get better. The next couple chapters will be progressively happier, and don't worry about Grant, he'll be making a reappearance soon😄😜 please vote, comment, and share if you liked it, it keeps me encouraged to work on this 😊