20|| Heart versus mind

Yes, I got the name Alizeh from the movie "Ae dil hain mushkil". And now I realized the title song is perfect for this chapter 😉😊😂 Sorry to those that won't understand but you can google translation of "Ae dil hain mushkil" song, if you're curious.

Our noses were inch apart. I could see the hazel of her eyes glistening. Her lips quivering.

We kept looking at each other for a good minute. Not once, did even one of us blink.

Her teary eyes kept looking at my guilt filled eyes.

{ ALIZEH'S POV }

Amir, no words, no explanation will ever be enough to thank you. If he wouldn't come on time... I don't even want to think of what would have happened!

I couldn't help but look him in the eye.

We kept looking at each other without even blinking, as if there was some hidden meaning in our eyes.

I realized that we were both getting closer and closer. His cologne hit my nostrils. I could even smell his breath.

I didn't even realize when my arms ended up on his shoulders, and held it tightly. And his hands reached my waist, pulling me closer. And closer.

His touch on my waist felt like as if he was purifying the impure touches I got from those gangsters.

Our noses were touching now, and soon was our lips gonna touch.

I could feel the atmosphere around us thicken.

And suddenly, almost when our lips were about to touch. Amir let go off of me.

That's when I realized what we were doing. We were about to kiss. Oh Allah, forgive me... I wasn't aware of what I was up to.

I, too, moved away.

I couldn't look up at him anymore. I was way too embarrassed. It was all awkward now.

And suddenly the huge clock in the room said,

"12'o clock Am"

"12'o clock Am"

"12'o clock Am"

Why did it repeat that thrice? Strange.

Until, I felt Amir's hand on my face as I finally looked up.

"Alizeh, Happy Birthday", was all he said.

And that's when I realized it had been a whole year, a whole year since I was kidnapped. I didn't see or hear from baba and ammi for a whole year. I spent each and every day being trapped, thinking I could die any minute. The man in front of me had held me captive for a whole year.

And I was about to kiss the same person tonight.

I immediately moved away.

My heart told me to not be angry and forgive him. But my mind told me to hate him and never forgive him.

My heart told me to look up and finish our incomplete kiss, but my mind told me to go slap him.

But, I did neither of those. Instead I said, "Thank you and good night Amir. I want to sleep"

And he left.

That's when I realized I had fallen in love with the person I hate.

Why is love so complex?

{ AMIR'S POV }

"Thank you and good night Amir. I want to sleep", was all she said indicating all that had happened was solely a dream. Actually it was a huge lie. It wasn't meant to be.

I could see the anger in her eyes when I said that it had been a year since I had trapped her.

She hated me and I loved her. I fell in love with the person that I didn't have any right to love.

Why is love so complex?

I broke the eye contact and left. I left the room smiling at her, like nothing had happened.

But, the moment I closed the door. I felt my knees fall, I felt my body weakening. I fell off.

With a broken heart and a ripped soul, I fell off. I could feel the whole world ahead of me collapse.

I was holding on to the door right outside the room Alizeh was in, as if it was the only hope left in me. As if, if the door opened light would shine through it.

Tears swelled onto my cheeks. Never had I ever thought my life would turn 360 degrees and bring me here. Heartbroken. Crying for a girl. Craving to catch a glimpse of her, when I knew it was only a dream. A dream I shouldn't have dreamt of.

{ ALIZEH'S POV }

Amir left while I smiled. But, the moment the door closed I could feel my heart fall out of place.

I fell off right away, beside the door he had left from.

How did I fall in love with Amir? I hate him! He trapped me for a bloody year. He made me believe I could die any day. Every night, every day my eyes would open and his face would haunt me. How could I fall in love with this beast?

And suddenly something flashed on my mind.

Flashback

"ALIZEEEHH"

"You son of a bitch!!! How dare you!"

They beat him, beat him so much he was unable to move. Blood came out from his nose and mouth.

He fell on the floor.

He did it, he won!

With his gaze lowered he wrapped the black scarf around my shoulders and lifted me up.

End of flashback

What the heck! Why am I thinking of the things that had happened before? None of what he did for me justified what he had done to me.

And that's when the same thing flashed back into my mind. I could be sexually assaulted, beaten to death and no one would have known. I could get lost and kidnapped by someone else and no one would have known.

Why am I such a fool?

He saved my life, when he couldn't have cared at all.

Who am I even to him? He didn't even kill me, when he planned to.

And I was here blaming him, blaming him for everything. Blaming him, when he was trying to fix things, trying to mend what he ruined.

He even moved away when we were about to kiss, so I wouldn't regret it.

And I shut him out. What have I done?

I felt tears swell onto my cheeks. Tears kept falling continuously. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't help the tears escaping down my cheeks.

A cold breeze swept by me, making me

swallow down my throat. My mind dulled in the endless pain and grief I had been subjected to.

Only if I knew he, too, was sitting in front of me except with a door in between us.

And I fell asleep sitting by the door and the person in front of the door did too.

So how was this chapter? Thankyou so much for 1.5k+ reads. It really meansa lot to me. 🤗