Thirty-Eight

I had a girls day with Jess earlier in the week and we swam and I showed her around the lake before we headed to the beach and stopped for ice cream.

I had filled her in on everything in my life, the packs, the engagement, the pup, all except his parents. I wish I could talk to her about it, but at the same time I had Caden, and that would always be more than enough. And she had filled me on her new boyfriend and whatnot. The best thing was that it didn't matter how long it had been, we laughed like we hung out everyday again.

I had laughed so much my stomach hurt. But it was a welcomed pain.

His parents had stayed at the other pack house and we were taking turns each night between the two houses. A few here, a few there. People were getting out more and we wanted to start pack dinners and make it a few times a week as well.

He's made a few comments about certain things that his parents have said that have hit him as things they wouldn't normally say. Things that seemed odd.

I would think it was just because they've changed over the last thirteen years, except that they're not even normal Canadian idioms, the way they structure their sentences is getting weirder. More foreign.

"Bee?"

"Sorry?"

"Are you ready?"

"Yeah I'm sorry." I should be supporting him not the other way around.

"Don't apologise babe."

I leaned closer and tilted my head up to kiss him. He bent slightly and held my neck to deepen it.

"Let's get this done so I can take you home." His eyes were dark and I laughed.

I smacked his shoulder lightly, "Do you go a single hour without thinking about it?"

"About what?" He teased since I still blush every time he brings it up. Even when we're alone.

"You know what I'm talking about."

He laughed, "I don't think I do, care to elaborate?"

"Well if I need to say it, it obviously doesn't need to happen, right sexy?"

His smirk fell as he scowled at me, "So mean."

I laughed, "You're one to talk."

"Me? I'm the nicest person I know."

"You should stop talking to yourself dear," I whispered and he scowled before pulling me against him as his lips left kisses on my neck.

So beautiful...

Caden we have to go to the meeting.

One more minute... He always said that.

One minute always turns into a lot more minutes.

He groaned and I pecked his cheek, "Come on sexy."

------

They had agreed to everything we had said about the arrangements for the amalgamation of the packs' land, except they wanted us to build a bigger dining room and have a room that would hold a few packs comfortably.

We both agreed and the plans were drawn and approved.

Now we just had to ask about his parents.

"Good luck with the construction Alpha, Luna. Let us know if there are any problems." The eldest said as he smiled kindly. He was the one who had known my grandfather, Paul.

I didn't want to believe he would've helped with covering up his parents' deaths, my gut was usually right about people and after last time I considered him like a distant friend almost.

"Actually, my mate and I were wondering if we could use a few more minutes of someone's time."

"Someone?"

"Someone who may have known my parents," Caden said casually, but I knew he was tense as he held me against his side.

"How about we talk in the lounge."

"Thank you sir."

"Paul."

Caden nodded and we followed him down a hallway into a smaller, cozier room.

It seemed too informal for such a serious topic.

"What can I do for you two? I hope both packs are running smoothly?"

"Yes si- Paul. They are. We're having a party this weekend to officially join the packs with a link and as a way to make mingling easier. Bee and I thought it a good solution."

His face had lit up as we spoke, "That sounds like a wonderful idea! If you don't mind I'd love to stop in and see the united pack, I could lead the ceremony for you two as well. It would be an honour for me." He turned towards me, "I wish your grandafther could do it for you, I do, but I'm offering my expertise if you haven't accepted a councilor already."

Bee? Do you think we should accept before the questions?

Yes. But let him know he has a choice afterwards.

Of course beautiful.

"We would appreciate it Paul."

He nodded and clapped his hands together once, "It's been so long since two packs formed. I scarcely recall it. It'll be one for the books."

"As long as the goal is acheived and the packs join swiftly we'll take it as a good sign."

"As you should Alpha." He paused and looked us both over. Caden tensed again and I squeezed his hand, relaxing him slightly. "So what were you hoping for? Just the ceremony?"

"No. Actually that wasn't planned at all. I was wondering who pronounced my parents dead."

Paul seemed shocked at the question before curiosity took over his wrinkled, weathered face, "Son, I know they died in unusual circumstances, and I know you were quite young, but as unfortunate as the accident was, nothing will bring them back."

"That's the problem-"

"I know it's hard to lose your parents. I lost mine quite young as well, but you've grown into a respectable young man with an amazing and intelligent mate Caden. Not to mention the pup that's coming in a few short months. My advice is to move on."

"I am the luckiest man on earth to have Blake as my mate, and she's blessing me with a pup..." He glanced at me and the love in his eyes shone bright, "Under normal circumstances I wouldn't bring it up. In fact I had moved on and accepted their untimely deaths... until recent events."

"Alpha nothing has changed. The plane crashed on the way to Europe and we found their bodies at the bottom of the ocean. I hate to put it so bluntly, but I want you to see that it's done. Bringing it up only freshens the wound."

"Paul who saw their bodies?"

"Alpha-"

"We need answers sir."

"Caden. I've put this lightly but obviously-"

"They're alive."

He paused and looked genuinely confused, "I wish they were Caden but why would they abandon their pack? Their sons? Your father was a great Alpha, and a good father as far as I've heard you speak about him. Why do you think all these years later that he's alive? It's been over a decade."

"My parents showed up at our doorstep last week."

"What!?" He fell into the chair and I could see the gears moving in his head, "That's not possible. They died."

"Who declared them dead?"

"I don't know Caden. I saw their bodies though. I was close to many of the Alpha's, I saw your parents' bodies Caden. Luna did you meet them?"

I nodded, "We answered the door."

"Together." He said with a small smile, before it fell, "What have they told you?"

"A bunch of lies. Their story is full of holes that Bee has made clear, but we keep up the act of believing it's them."

"What do you mean? You've seen them but you don't think it's them?"

"When they rang the doorbell I smelt them right away. It hit me like a wall. I invited them in after recovering and they said their plane crashed on the way to Alaska."

"They were headed to Europe." He seemed generally confused too.

"Yes, and there is no ocean from here to Alaska to have crashed in." Caden filled him in on everything that has happened and Paul was now pacing in the room.

"I need to see them."

"Of course, we don't expect you to take this on our word."

"Where are they staying?"

"In the other pack house. We've kept this quiet, only bringing our Beta's in the loop."

"That's good." He trailed off and we looked to each other. I squeezed Caden's hand, "How about I come over tomorrow morning, I have some things  to wrap up this evening and then I will look in to what I can."

"Of course. And anything you find would be appreciated. Could I ask though, that this stay between-"

"I won't tell anyone. You have my word." He gave a slight bow to Caden, "I apologize for being harsh with you earlier Alpha."

"No apology necessary. Thank you for your time Paul." They shook hands before Paul turned and hugged me.

"Stay strong." He whispered to me, "He'll need it from you. So will your pup."

"I'll do my best," I said with a smile.

"Then I have no worries."

I nodded to him and we left with a goodbye and thank you.

------

The ride back had been comfortably quiet and he had ran a thumb over my hand the whole time.

Luckily he was calm when we got back home. I was just unbuckling when he opened my door and scooped me out of the car. I laughed, "What are you doing?"

He had us inside and headed to our room seconds later, "You smell like him." He growled it out.

"It was a friendly hug Caden."

He growled and I knew his wolf was pulling out his possessive side. I wouldn't win this one.

He put me down on the bed and walked towards the door, "Where are you going Cade?"

"I'll be right back babe."

"Caden-?"

Just stay beautiful, I'll be right back, I promise.

He turned to leave and looked back, "I hate leaving you in our bed."

"Then don't leave," I said obviously, with a chuckle.

He inhaled shakily and I knew he was debating it before he turned and left.

I rolled my eyes and got off the bed.

Beautiful, you were supposed to stay.

Yeah, yeah. I changed and went to the bathroom. I heard him coming and laid in bed. I got under the covers and pretended to sleep, clearing my mind as he came in the room.

"Bee I brought-" he got quiet and I was hoping he bought my act. I was having a hard time keeping my breathing slow and mind clear though.

I felt the bed dip and him lay looking down at me. His lips ran over my shoulder as he pulled my shirt back, "Too bad you fell asleep beautiful..." he trailed off. His lips were like a gentle feather, brushing lightly against my skin. "I brought up a snack to share, but since you're asleep..." he trailed off.

His lips moved higher up my neck and he nibbled my earlobe, "I thought you were kidding about it not happening Bee."

My lips curved slightly on their own and I heard him chuckle lightly against my neck.

"Come on Bee. Have a snack with me." His voice dropped, "Or we can skip to dessert when I run my tongue all over that delectable body of yours-"

"Caden!" I said as I pushed him off me, beet red.

He laughed and pulled me to him.

"That's not fair. I thought I was doing pretty good."

"You had me fooled until you stiffened when I climbed on the bed."

"Darn."

"Come on Bee, you need to eat, you're carrying precious cargo."

"Demanding little thing and they're not even born."

"He'll be well worth it."

I looked up to him, "He?"

"Sorry, they-"

"Do you want a boy?"

He looked nervous, "Is this a trick question?"

"I want the truth Caden. No trick."

"I want a boy-"

"So if we have a girl are you going to disown her like my father did? She'll never get to be Alpha because she's a girl?!"

"Woah, Bee-"

"Do you agree with what my father did to me? How he treated me?!" I was off the bed and he came closer. I was so mad at him. How could he agree with my father!?

I slapped his hand away as he went to grab me. I went to the closet and closed the door. I sat against it and cried. If our pup was a girl would he change too? The tears racked my body as I cried.

I was mad and angry and sad and betrayed. How could Caden do that? My wolf was freaking out and yelling but I blocked her out.

"Bee open the door." I heard Caden call. I remained quiet, with the sobs excluded, "Bee. Open the damn door."

"Go away." I cried and the anger and sadness swirled together.

"Never. I'll starve before I leave. Open the door beautiful."

I shook my head and a wave of sadness swept over me. I would love our child no matter what gender. The saddest part was I couldn't leave Caden, even if he didn't want a girl, even if he treated her like my father did. I'd be there for her. And I would be there for Caden. No question.

"Please babe. Please open this door. I would break it if I didn't know you were sitting against it."

So he could protect his boy? Can't hurt me because I'm carrying his son? His heir? The next Alpha since Luna was not an option to him? I was getting angrier by the second.

"Babe I already love our pup. Girl or boy doesn't matter. I love them already. Girl or boy they will have two loving parents. I love you Bee, and any child we have, all the children we'll have, I'll love." He sounded so torn, "They're half you, how could I not?" He sighed. "Bee I love you both. You're my whole damn world. Everything."

His voice so torn kileld me. My wolf whined at me and yelled at me. I did this to Caden. All over one word he said.

Oh God... what have I done? Again?

I moved away from the door and he instantly had it open and he was crouching down beside me, "I love you Bee. I love our pup too. I love you both so much. I didn't mean anything by it. It just slipped-"

I wrapped my arms around him and the world came back to as I calmed, "I'm so sorry."

"No. Don't apologise. What your father did-"

"You would never. I know that. These fucking hormones are going to kill us Caden." I said into his chest, "They're killing me."

"Just breathe baby. Nothing can break us. I love you too much for that. And I'm way too stubborn."

I laughed, "I'm sorry Caden."

"No. Don't apologise. It's not your fault." He picked me up and walked back to the bed, "We'll get through this. If I don't say a single word for the next eight months then so be it, but we'll get through it."

I chuckled, "Thank you." I pulled back and he tensed like I was going to flip out on him again, I felt so guilty for that, "I love you too Caden. And I love our pup, but if this continues we're going to have problems when they're a teenager."

He laughed and set me on the bed, "Day by day beautiful. They're not even in diapers yet."

I laughed and hugged him to me, "Thank you."

"How about that snack?" I nodded and he handed me a bowl of now-soft ice cream with all the works on it.

"This looks delicious."

We each grabbed a spoon and began to share. When it was almost gone he fell back on the bed and had me straddling his lap. He was just looking up at me as I finished the ice cream.

I put the bowl on the table and when I turned back his eyes were dark, and his breathing was picking up.

I smiled down to him and he tilted his head slightly, "Bee?"

I ran my hands up his chest, watching them as his shirt moved over them, his muscles shivering with my touch, "Yes sexy?"

I heard him swallow. His adams apple bobbed and he licked his lips, clenching his jaw to stop himself.

"Honestly babe I forget..." he trailed off and I laughed lightly as I laid down on him. "You're beautiful." He sighed as he ran a thumb over my bottom lip.

"You're not too bad yourself sexy."

"Just not too bad?" He asked with a playful smirk.

I nodded, holding back my laugh, as his lips met mine.

******

We had put together a construction crew and they were clearing the land of trees. "Caden what are we doing with the trees?" I asked as he held me in his arms.

"I don't know, why?" Something seemed off with this statement and his mind blanked for a second.

What was that? I questioned myself.

"We should make the dining room all hardwood. We could put these trees to use."

"Do you like hardwood?"

I nodded, "It would seem grander and it would work for casual events or formal events. I love the natural wood look."

"Mmmhmmm," he nuzzled my neck.

"Caden I'm serious."

"I know. You should stop thinking."

I laughed, "Caden." I made him look at me, "We cut down so many trees, we should use them."

"Okay Bee. We'll use them."

"Do you think we'll have more than enough for just the dining room? We could use them elsewhere."

"I hope so." He said as his lips left feather-light kisses on my neck.

"Why?"

He shrugged, "So we don't run out."

"Caden we could just cut down more trees if we ran out and needed a few more," I said giving him a where-did-you-leave-your-head-today look.

"That's true. What's that face supposed to mean beautiful?"

I put on an innocent smile, "What face baby?"

He studied my features and I laughed, "I love you Bee."

"I love you too." He leaned closer for a kiss but I pecked his cheek and moved out of his grasp.

Blake, he growled.

I laughed and swung my hips a little as I walked away.

I heard his growl and laughed again, I glanced back to find his eyes on my ass. My eyes are up here sexy.

Yes they are. But your ass is a lot lower. He said smiling.

I rolled my eyes and headed towards the house as the sound of an engine cutting off reached my ears.

I felt Caden behind me and he pulled me into his side, "What are you doing tonight babe?"

"I don't know why?" I asked suspiciously.

You're booked. He said in his matter-of-fact way.

What am I doing? I liked that he would get an idea and just do it. He didn't ask if things were okay all the time, like when he took me to that cabin, he just made plans and did them. It wouldn't matter to me where we went as long as we were both there anyways. And Caden knew me so well that I would like it anyways.

Me. He said with a smirk and I smiled. Paul walked up and we both smiled warmly as he shook hands with Paul. I went to shake Paul's hand but he brought me in for a hug anyways.

"Hi Paul."

"Hello. How are you?"

"Good. Yourself?"

"Good under the circumstances. What about the pup?" Caden squeezed my hip gently. He would be an amazing father, he already treated the pup better than I could ever ask for. He made me go to check-ups, mentioned the baby's room a few times among other things, and treats me like a glass vase.

"Perfectly fine. Thanks for asking."

He smiled before turning to Caden, "And you young man?"

Caden glanced down at me, "Couldn't be better."

I loved when he responded like that. "Come on in Paul."

"Have you talked to them since?" He asked on the way in.

I shook my head, "Not yet."

"I see you formed a construction team."

"Yes we did. It's starting off smooth, so we hope that's how it will stay."

He nodded, "Okay. Let's get this done."

"Can I ask if you found anything last night, before we go in?" Caden asked politely but in a business tone.

"Of course. I'm tagging along Alpha. This is your... investigation, for lack of a better word. You're more than capable of making the decisions, I'm just curious and might be able to pull some strings depending where this is going."

"Thank you Paul. You're wisdom will definitely help. And your opinion is ranked highly with my mate and I, so we're glad to have you on board."

"Thank you. I found that the bodies were found in the plane still. They had oxygen masks on but clearly that didn't last long. Your father got out of his seat, from what I found I'm assuming he could've swam to the top. However, you're mother's belt had been cut to get her body, so I'm assuming her belt must have malfunctioned or locked. He died trying to save her Caden."

He nodded, bringing me closer,"As any of us would." Paul nodded in agreement as we got to the door.

I would want Caden to save himself in that instance, we would have a pup that he should come back to. He should leave me for our pups, better they have one parent than none. I can't stand the thought that he would die for me. But I also knew I could do nothing to persuade him otherwise.

I'm alive to protect you Bee. Simple as that. His tone was clipped. Not rudely, just factual.

Why should both of us die?

I'd be dead without you anyways. "Do you want to talk to them alone first?" He asked Paul who nodded and slipped in the room.

I was against the wall seconds later and Caden sunk his teeth into his mark on my neck. I closed my eyes as the pleasure hit me in waves, "Caden..."

I felt him tilt my face up to his. His eyes were intense and dark. "I love you more than anything. You're my world. My breath. My life. My love. My everything. You hold my heart."

"Caden-"

"Bee you don't get it," He held my face and rested his forehead on mine, staring into my eyes with so much love I couldn't speak, "I don't die when I quit breathing Blake. I die the moment you do."

I didn't have any words to say to that. I never thought anyone would love me this much, "I love you so much Caden."

"That's what I live for. Those words." He said genuinely and happily.

"I love you." I kissed him hungrily as a tear fell from my ear.

He kissed me back and when neither of us had air left he nust held me to him. I felt his thumb wipe the tear away before he kissed the top of my head, "I love you too Bee. I'm notjing without you."

I hugged him tighter to me as another tear escaped. He picked me up and wiped it away, "Why are you crying?"

"Tears of joy."

"Didn't you know this before? I need to say this more. Damn it. Have I never told you this? God Bee I would die for you in a heartbeat. I wouldn't even hesitate. You living is my first priority, long before any others."

"I know. I do. I have for a long time. I just... it's different when you say it." I paused as he studied my face, he looked worried.

"What are thinking about?"

"Remember when you said you loved me the first time and I... I didn't say it back?"

"Yeah Bee, why are you bringing this up? I was an ass-"

"No, no. Caden I've forgotten that. It's just-"

"Bee I didn't expect you to say it back-"

"No Caden. You said the next day how you would die for me then. You already felt so much for me..."

"I love you more now Bee."

I smiled, "I know."

"What are you getting at?"

"You tell me all the time Caden. You do. I just never thought I would have this."

"Why? Bee you're amazing."

I chuckled, "I always wanted fated mates, I had given up hope until you."

He kissed me lovingly, "You were my hope too."

I laughed, "What?"

"I focussed on the pack, didn't hang out with Dan, I didn't... I wasn't living. But that morning I woke up with my arms around you and when I looked down the sun was like a halo on your face... Blake I wanted it. I wanted you. Us. I wanted everything we have now. I wanted to be a better Alpha, better brother, better man, better me."

"Caden you're-"

"Bee I had to be better. That's the way I saw it. I had to be better or I would never be close to deserving you. I still don't deserve you, but I'm better than I was, and I'll never quit trying to improve." He nuzzled my neck and I hugged him.

"I don't deserve you Caden. You're too good for me."

"Don't say things like that beautiful." He said in a growl. "Don't even think them."

"Caden-"

"You're perfect. I'm far from."

"I'm not perfect-"

"Bee you're more than perfect. You-"

I held a finger over his lips, "I'm not perfect. You're not either. I know that. But you're imperfections are perfect. They make you who you are, and I love you. Imperfections and all. I love everything about you."

He kissed my lips, "You're an angel." He glanced down to my lips, "So perfect. You're flawless in my eyes."

I rolled my eyes but let it go.

Paul walked out of the room, "Let's talk in the living room."