Sixteen

Dedicated to graeheart! Hope you enjoy these next few! Let me know what you like or don't like about it (hopefully more the former ;) ) Thanks for voting! It means a lot!

******

After a few hours of swimming the sun was starting to set and I was extremely hungry. I hadn't eaten breakfast since I got up late and planned on eating lunch.

But then with the bike ride and swimming, I didn't.

Swimming grew awkward at times because of a comment made or Caden stopping to stare at me. But overall I guess it wasn't terrible.

"So? How about I barbecue some dinner?" Daniel asked. Sam agreed right away and they got talking about what to make. I'm glad they had common interests.

Caden swam a bit closer, "You can go, I don't have to."

"We've been hanging out all day. And we all have to eat."

"Blake I get it."

"I would hope so. You've had to eat your whole life."

I climbed out as he gave a short laugh and a shake of his head, "We're in, Daniel." He said as he glanced at me. I gave him a nod and he seemed to relax a bit before climbing out.

"Do shish-kabobs, corn and potatoes sound good?" He asked and I nodded. I haven't eaten a real meal in years. Ever since I stopped cooking for Dana and I.

"Sounds great," Caden said and I just threw clothes on overtop, which were soaked pretty quickly.

We made our way back to the back porch as Daniel cooked.

"These are delicious, I didn't know you could cook so well Daniel." Caden said after we all took a few bites.

"That's because you never let me. You just had to take care of me like a good big brother," Daniel said playfully.

"And you're welcome for feeding you." Daniel snorted before they both just smiled.

Sam and I were on one side of the table and Caden and Daniel were on the other. Caden sat diagonal from me, I think to give me space, which I reminded myself to thank him later for, but he kept looking at me out of the corner of his eye. Sometimes it wasn't so subtle. I tried to ignore it, so I just kept my eyes to my plate.

"Did you stop in at your old pack house to see your family?" Daniel asked and I looked up a bit to look at him.

"Yeah, I talked to Dana and Jess all day, but she stopped at home so I could see Mom and Benji."

"Old home. Sounds nice though." Daniel added the correction quickly and I wanted to rol my eyes but stopped myself in time.

"It was good to see them. A few other pack members said hello too, I didn't realize how much I just missed them all."

I noticed Caden had stopped eating and mentally smacked myself for talking about my old house in the present tense. And I called them my pack members, which technically they weren't any more.

"Did you see your dad?"

"No, I left when my father came to talk to me."

"Oh, bad timing?"

"No, good on my part."

Daniel and Sam sat there confused but I saw the amusement in Caden's eyes, although the hurt was still there.

The three of them talked about all kinds of things and I noticed that Caden opened up to Sam, I think he realized she wasn't the same way around us. Hopefully, she was like this with everyone now. Daniel and Sam seemed like they've been talking a lot and I was happy for them, maybe it would lead somewhere.

"Blake?" Sam said about half hour later.

"Sorry, what?"

"We were wondering what you were doing tomorrow."

"Oh, nothing so far."

They nodded before the two of them made plans for tomorrow for something. I was zoned out thinking about everything.

Why can't I just accept Caden? Accept this pack?

But at the same time I was asking myself, How can I accept this pack? How could I ever accept Caden? Will he ever really love me? Care about me?

I know it's a stretch but if I end up in moms position, my wolf will go rogue. No exaggeration. She was meant to be alpha, and if she has to sit idly by, she will lose her mind. And eventually so will I.

I shook my head a little to clear my thoughts and realized Caden was looking over me with concern in his eyes. He looked really worried. I looked back down and noticed I hadn't eaten much. Maybe a few bites before I zoned out. I had only eaten breakfast since I got here, except pizza that one night. I guess today would just be a little less. I forced myself to eat a little more before I just put my fork and knife across my plate.

Sam asked me a question so I nodded and she seemed happy with that so I got up and cleared the table. I know Caden's eyes followed me wherever I went but didn't notice he had followed me into the kitchen.

I put the four plates and utensils down by the sink. I stayed there as he placed four glasses down.

One still full.

Mine.

I hadn't even touched it.

"Blake, what's wrong?"

"What? Oh, nothing."

"You barely ate, you didn't say a word, and didn't even take a sip from your cup."

I shrugged, "Just thinking."

"About your old home?"

"Not really, I don't know. It's not important."

I turned to walk away but he put his hands on my hips holding me barely a few inches away from him.

"It is important. You need to eat. Just talk to me."

"I am." He has no reason to think I would open up to him. And really, we are no more than two people in a house, so there's no reason he should expect it either. Talking once does not make us friends or mates. Not in any way.

I heard him give a small chuckle, "Talk to me about what's going on in that pretty little head of yours that has you off on another planet."

"Honestly, everything and nothing at the same time."

"I wish I could help you."

"Don't. I'm fine." I pulled out of his grasp and sat back down at the table.

A few moments later Caden came out with four cups of coffee, "Sam? What do you take in your coffee?"

"One milk, two sugar." He added them and handed it to her.

"Daniel?"

"One milk, one sugar." He passed that one to Daniel.

He handed me a cup after adding milk, I was shocked he remembered. "Thanks."

"No problem Blake." He sounded so serious. Too serious.

He poured his own, which I noticed he took black and sat down. It was quiet as we listened to the bugs in the forest and I pulled a knee up and held it against me loosely with an arm while I sipped my coffee. It was a great night to look at the stars and I couldn't help thinking about my Grandpa. We used to lay on the grass and connect the dots to make pictures.

I tilted my head and stared at the sky and couldn't help the very small smile from appearing on my face, knowing that he was looking down on me.

I heard some talking from them at the table before some shuffling and it got quiet again. All you could hear was the wildlife in the woods. And the insects around us.

"It's a wonderful night." Caden's voice broke me out of my reminiscing.

I nodded. I blinked and slowly opened my eyelids.

"Were you thinking again?"

"More like remembering."

He stayed quiet and I slowly finished off my coffee, realizing it was just the two of us and he had moved beside me, where Sam was previously sitting. Although point for him since he had moved the chair over a bit so he wasn't right next to me.

I was wondering how long it had been just the two of us, but didn't want him to know just how far away my mind seemed to be for the last hour or so.

I yawned and brought my other knee up to my chest, resting my head on my knees.

"Tired?" He asked and I was hoping he wasn't bringing up sleeping in his bed again.

I shrugged as I looked over the woods. You could see fireflies off in the distance, at least with my sight, and they were beautiful.

"Remarkable eh? Like tiny little lights."

"They are." I agreed. I yawned again and slowly stood up, "I think I'm going to turn in." I didn't know how I could be so tired, I slept in for a few hours this morning.

He chuckled, "Sounds like a good idea." He followed me inside and put our cups in the sink.

"Caden?"

"Yes Blake?"

"Thank you."

"It's just a cup, but I guess-"

"No, I mean for today. You didn't crowd me or anything. You gave me space," much needed space, but I didn't say that, "So thank you."

He seemed like he was battling himself with what to say before he just simply said, "You're welcome."

I knew as an alpha it must be hard to be close to your mate, without being mated, and not even touching them. I know other people, once they know who their mate is, they never let them go, whether they're holding their waist, hand, or even just standing with them. And an alpha has a bigger urge to mark their mate, so I felt guilty for hurting him.

We had made it up the stairs and I got changed as he held clothes as he stood by the door. "You're sleeping here right?"

"Do you want to?" I asked hoping he would just lay down and I could go downstairs.

"I want you to." It didn't really answer my question but I let it go.

"You really don't have to do this. You can have your room and I can have mine. Your office must be seriously uncomfortable."

"Our room. And I rather you get some sleep, you're exhausted."

"So are you. And I got a good sleep last night. You should sleep here tonight." I was too tired to argue about this. I yawned again before blinking slowly.

"Come on sleepyhead, you weren't made to argue tired, lay down."

"It's your turn."

"We're not taking turns."

"Why not? Then you wouldn't have to change so much." I don't think he liked that comment.

"Blake, I can't sleep here anyway. Just lay down."

I looked at him confused from across the room where I stood, "Why can't you sleep here?"

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck with his eyes closed. He opened them before he spoke slowly, I think trying to watch which word he used so I wouldn't feel uncomfortable, "This room is for a luna and alpha to share. I don't think it's right for the alpha to be here if the luna isn't. So if the alpha were to use the room, the luna should be with him."

I know I turned a bit red but tried to ignore it. "You slept here before I came."

"Because there was no Luna in the picture, now there is."

So for him to sleep here I have to be with him? Is that what he's saying? "So you won't sleep here without me in your room?"

He hesitated, "Our room. But yes."

"But it's okay for me to sleep here?"

"Yeah, you're Luna."

"No I'm not. So its okay for the Luna but not the Alpha."

"It's not written in stone, it's just how I was raised. Either mom and dad slept here, or it was only mom. That's why grandad had the room made beside the office."

"He couldn't sleep here without her?"

"No. He said it killed him."

"How?"

"She was meant to be in his arms. Him laying there alone was a reminder of that. This room went unused after she died."

I looked down at the floor before yawning again. I didn't even know what to say to that.

"Sorry, I didn't mean for it to get so serious. But I was raised this way. Please, just use the bed."

"I don't think this counts if we aren't mated."

"Please Blake, just use our bed."

Your bed, I thought, but let it go. If I used it again I would keep wanting to use it. And that may not end well. "I still think it should at least be turns." I said after yawning.

"Think about that. The only way for me to sleep here is if I'm with you. I don't think you're ready for that. And I won't push you. So I don't think that's a good idea."

His belief seems weird. But again, what would I know? My parents haven't slept beside each other in months. And if you counted anything more than talking, it would be years. Not exactly role models. I wonder what my Grandpa would say. "You really wouldn't sleep here unless I'm in your room?"

"Our room. And yes." I hate how he corrected me constantly. But I can't blame him, well, I can't blame his wolf.

"Well, fine then, climb in."

I went to the closet and pulled out a sleeping bag. I put it over the couch and crawled in. I heard a big sigh before a shadow covered my face.

"Okay, I see what you did. You are not sleeping on that couch."

"Well it's your turn for the bed so- hey!"

I felt him pick me up and place me on a cloud, in other words, his bed.

"If your adamant that I sleep here, I'll take the couch. You need sleep."

"You do too. I got sleep, you didn't." But he wouldn't let me climb out.

"Not enough, you're yawning."

"You yawn because there is lack of oxygen to the brain, not because you're tired."

"Okay, smartie, lay down. Let the oxygen get to your head as you sleep."

I sighed but rolled to my side and watched him lay on the couch. "Caden, you don't even fit on the couch, I do. This doesn't even make sense."

"Blake, just sleep."

I climbed out of bed and pulled his arm until he fell off the couch. He stood and I pushed him towards the bed and laid on the couch.

"Okay, then you can't move me, because I'm going to sleep." I was laying in the sleeping bag and he was standing at the end of the bed.

"Blake." He growled.

"Caden." I mocked him, keeping my eyes closed.

Before I knew it I was back on his bed and I cursed being so small that he could lift me without a problem.

"Caden you don't fit on your couch, I do. And I got your bed last night."

"Our couch and our bed," he sighed, "Blake. Unless we are both in our bed, I'm not getting in. That is not a threat, it's the truth. Now close your eyes. You're exhausted and can barely keep your eyes open."

I folded my arms across my chest but saw he wasn't going to budge as he moved across the room to the couch. "Stop."

He turned around, "Blake I told-"

"Get in the damn bed."

"Our bed."

"Whatever, get in."

"Blake don't do this because-"

"Caden. Climb in your bed. And if you correct me one more time I'm going to strangle you in your sleep."

He took a step towards the bed but stopped.

"Caden, you need sleep too, otherwise Daniel will blame me for you being grumpy again. If this is the only way it's going to happen, then so be it. Get in before I drag you down the stairs behind me."

"Are you usually violent when you're tired?"

"I actually don't know, and that is seriously not the point."

He slowly got in.

"Do anything to me in my sleep and there won't be a warning. I will hurt you."

He nodded as he hid his amused smile and I turned on my side away from him. I felt my eyes close as the bed shifted and I fell asleep.