Chapter 29

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Oh my gosh! All I have to say is thank you! Thank you, thank you! I have gotten a lot of votes and comments and I never thought I would ever get this much. Thank you so much. I can't even explain how happy it makes me reading all the comments and seeing more and more reads each time. I can't thank you enough! You guys are the best. You make me so happy. I really, really hope you enjoy!! WARNING: some harsh language! Anyways, ENJOY!! *Winces and pats your cheek with encouragement.* Love you guys! -Hannah

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CHAPTER 29: Natalie stared, unblinking at the wall, her thoughts so hollow but at the time so relentless and circling and consuming her mind.

She wasn't cold anymore from the rain, the blanket that Ciara had covered her with was wonderfully warm and Natalie resisted the urge to burrow further into it. While she had been driving, tears streaming down her face and small sobs escaping her mouth, she had wondered where to go.

Her first thought had been to go to her mother, but she had immediately dismissed it.

Natalie knew her mother had horrible guilt over what had happened with Johnny and she also knew the way her mother handled pain.

Drugs and alcohol.

Natalie couldn't- would not- risk her mother falling back into that dark hole, again.

So, after that she had decided to come to Ciara, which Ciara was still staying at the hotel that they had checked into before Giovanni had come into her life...well more like crashing in with a panty-dropping grin and amazing blue eyes that had her skin tingling.

It was odd being back here at this hotel, because it was the last time that she had been here without the knowledge of a lot of things. Of her father, of her mother, of emotions she hadn't known possible, of Giovanni...

She had been here for over an hour and it hadn't for the first time crossed her mind of what would have happened if she had never met Giovanni.

Right now, she didn't know what or how to feel about that, or what or how to feel if he didn't stay in her life now that he was already in it.

Natalie blinked out of her trance when a figure kneeled down in front of her at where she lay on the couch with her legs curled underneath her.

Ciara's eyes were dark with concern as she reached out and took Natalie's fingers from the mug of coffee.

Natalie hadn't realized how tightly she had been gripping it until Ciara took the mug away and set it down as Natalie stretched the stiffness from her fingers. She looked back at Ciara as she took Natalie's hand.

"Are you doing any better?" She asked softly.

No, I am miserable. Completely and utterly miserable, she thought.

"Yes, I am doing fine, thank you. For everything." She said and even though the first half was a lie the second part wasn't. She was truly grateful for everything Ciara had done when she had swung open her hotel door in her pajama's to see a sopping wet and sobbing Natalie.

After Natalie had launched herself into her friend's arms she had cried for a moment and then Ciara pulled away when she noticed how cold Natalie was with her hard shivering and her clattering teeth in only a thin silk nightie and robe with a pair of jeans and muddy flip-flops.

Instantly, Ciara had pulled her inside and helped strip her from her clothes and helped her into a hot bath to warm her up. While Ciara had washed Natalie's hair, Natalie stared at the white tile in front of her, feeling the warm water surrounding her and lapping at her breasts.

The warmth didn't help the cold hollow feeling that was in her chest whatsoever, either.

Then, Ciara had helped her out and dried her off then let her slip into one of her own floral silk and lace nightgowns and a soft blush pink satin robe.

As Natalie had told Ciara, she had listened carefully and only interjected every now and then with a question, but she had mainly been silent because she knew that right now Natalie didn't want to do much talking, so instead she sat with her best friend and drunk warm coffee from the hotel provided coffee mugs.

"Really, thank you for everything." Natalie said and gripped her friends hand into her own.

Ciara managed a smile, though her face was still a mask of worry.

There was three loud banging knocks on the door making the both of them jump and them smile sheepishly.

"I'll go get it. Probably room service," she said as she got up, her eyes narrowing into a fierce Ciara-scowl.

"It better be fucking room service or there is going to be some serious fucking hell to pay with some fucking missing appendages. I want the food! I swear to god I am going to die of starvation. Wither away to nothing." She grumbled as she left the room and Natalie couldn't help but give a small laugh.

No matter how horrible she felt a little Ciara time always brightened her heart.

A moment later Ciara slowly walked in the room and Natalie pushed herself up into a sitting position as she eyed Ciara wearily.

She was gnawing on her upper lip.

That was a red flag and the main sign that Ciara was nervous which instantly had Natalie going on alert, because Ciara was nervous. She was kind of like an animal-in the nicest way possible. She didn't really have all of the emotions.

Usually it was angry, happy, sad or horny, but never nervous. Ciara just wasn't the type of person to get nervous.

Natalie swallowed hard and eyed her cautiously, finally meeting Ciara's gaze once she lifted her head. Ciara opened her mouth, closed it, hesitating before opening it again.

"Giovanni is here. He is demanding to see you." Ciara said quietly and Natalie squeezed her eyes shut for a moment.

"I can tell him to leave." Ciara suggested quietly and Natalie took in a shaky breath as she shook her head.

She knew Giovanni would just break the door down or keep pestering Ciara until she went Rambo on him and Natalie did not want to have to deal with that.

"It is fine. Let him in." she said softly and stood, letting the blanket drop from around her as she made her way across the room and to the big balcony.

Natalie stepped out and took in a deep breath, letting her head fall back as she inhaled the summer night air deep into her lungs, willing the erratic beat of her heart to slow. She didn't know what to think now that Giovanni was here. She thought that as soon as she saw Ciara she wouldn't have been so conflicted, but she still was and couldn't decide what to think-what to feel.

She opened her eyes and looked out at the beautiful night before her, trying to focus on the details of the beauty that surrounded her.

She watched the moon as filmy clouds settled over its silver surface creating the most beautiful and fascinating display of lights and shadows.

It wasn't exactly cold, but it wasn't very warm either.

In a way it was just perfect a soft, subtle stroking of her skin by the breeze whispering through the night.

She felt him instantly.

It was odd how she could physically sense him when he was near, before she could smell his delicious scent and get dizzy with delight at the sight of him. She took in a shuddering breath.

"Natalie..." his voice was low and guttural as if it had been torn from him and she tried to fight the ache in her chest. She turned to him slowly and her breath caught at the sight of him all over again.

He looked haggard, heartbroken, but still absolutely and amazingly breathtaking. His gaze raked over her, and only then did she realize the skimpy nightgown and robe Ciara had given her to wear.

She actually felt his gaze-felt it as if he had touched her with fingers made of warm satin.

She pulled the robe tighter around her as if it would ward off the reaction her body had with him, but she knew deep down nothing could prevent the hot fluttering feeling she always felt when he was so near.

All she had to do was reach out and she could trail her fingers down the line of his clenched jaw, or the frown between his brows.

"Please let me explain." He whispered, his voice barely audible over the whisper of summer wind.

"What more do you need to explain?" she asked just as softly. He looked down in shame, but his head snapped up to her a moment later.

"Why are you so mad?" he growled and she scoffed unbelieving that he was asking that.

He had taken a life and then kept it from her. He was supposed to tell her everything and he didn't. Her nose began to sting as her eyes welled with tears with the thought.

"You killed someone, Giovanni!" she said and knew her voice was rising, but she couldn't make herself care.

He sneered, disgusted.

"I killed, yes, but whether it was even a someone rather than a monster is debatable." He snarled and Natalie's anger flared which was a lot better than her hurting heart, she decided.

She stepped forward and jabbed a finger into his chest, trying to ignore how hard his muscles were and trying to forget what they felt like against her bare skin.

"It doesn't matter whose life you took. It was still a life that YOU took. Who the fuck are you to play god? I told you to leave it alone and you knew you needed to, but you let your rage get the best of you and I thought you were better than that." She gritted out.

His nostrils flared and he took a step forward making her take a step back in surprise.

"Yes, okay? YES! At first, I really didn't think I should have done it and I wasn't and then we got into that fight and you told me you loved me. I didn't know how to react, I never knew how to react to something like that and I needed to release my rage somehow and as soon as I had Johnny," he practically spit the name out through his clenched teeth as if the very word tasted vile on his tongue.

"I thought I shouldn't be doing it. Knew I shouldn't. Then he asked why we had taken him and what had he done wrong and so I thought 'What the hell? Might as well let him know why I was so sickened by him.' You know what he said when I brought you up? He laughed. He laughed, Natalie."

Giovanni bellowed and Natalie flinched, her face paling by the second.

"Then I started to hit him and I knew it was wrong and I finally made myself stop. His face looked like a pile of mashed hamburger, but he was alive. I started to turn away and he started to tell me what he did to you. Told me each and every way he raped you over and over again." Natalie's stomach rolled and bile burned the back of her throat as shame colored her cheeks.

"So yeah, then I walked back to him and I killed him." Giovanni stepped forward again to tilt up her chin so he could meet her watery green gaze with his own gaze of blue fire.

"With pleasure." He hissed.

The night seemed silent after he said that and Natalie could only stare at him wide eyed as a tear fell and rolled down her cheek. Giovanni watched it, his face softening and that same heartbroken look coming into his eyes.

"I am sorry." He said quietly and looked down as Natalie's lip trembled.

"I can't," she started her voice cracking. "I can't do this right now, Giovanni." She said and straightened her shoulders.

"You killed someone and then kept it from me and now you are trying to dignify that by telling me something I already know. I already know how often he raped me and you did not need to bring that up in some sick sense of a way to dignify what you did in taking a life. I'm sure he would have gotten what he deserved sometime later in life." She whispered through quivering lips while she shook her head and then began to move away from him.

Giovanni's heart ached, feeling splintered even as a wash of disbelief went through him that she was walking away from him. Denial shot through him and he spun around to grab her arm.

"No. No. I cannot lose you." He said vehemently, his voice silk covered steel.

Natalie hiccupped another sob and shook her head, trying to escape his grasp.

He pushed her to the wall--caged her in and then covered her mouth with his own, catching the sobs that finally escaped her mouth.

He kissed her fiercely and she shoved at him gripping the lapels of his suit, before finally melting against him, giving into the hot and wet assault he was giving her mouth.

She gasped into his mouth and he lifted her up against the wall, hooking her ankle around his hip as he trailed his fingers delicately up the soft silken skin of her thigh, an illusion against the harsh and hard movement of their mouths moving against one another's.

Salty tears touched the corners of Giovanni's hot mouth, and flirted with the deepest, darkest corners of his used and battered soul while Natalie's skin tingled wherever he touched her.

Her heart was beating against her ribcage like it was trying to escape its cage- to go to Giovanni's heart- which she could feel at the moment, thrumming just as wildly under her own fingertips.

She tore her mouth away from his with a gasp, feeling the cool air on her wet and swollen lips.

They just stood there for a moment breathing heavily before everything came back to Natalie, cold through the hot haze of lust.

She pushed at his chest and he didn't move and she shoved again and he finally moved away from her.

She smoothed down the robe and pushed a stray tendril of hair out of her face.

Tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Please leave. I-I- I just need time." She whispered and Giovanni's jaw clenched as he stared at her.

Her lips thinned.

She was just about to break down and she didn't want him to see that-could not let him see that.

"GO!!!" She screamed.

Giovanni flinched, took a step back, his eyes blue pools of sadness and then he turned and was gone.

Natalie stood there for a moment, feeling but not really noticing the warmth of her tears running in an unforgiving and constant stream down her flushed cheeks.

She shook and slumped back against the wall and let her legs give and crumple as she set her forehead in her hands and ran them through her hair.

Her sob tore through the night, a soft keening cry of a breaking heart.

She covered her face, felt arms come around her, smelt Ciara's perfume.

Then she let herself cry as she wondered what she was going to do.

All she knew right now was the slight breeze that whispered a soft caress against her skin as Giovanni's fingers had once done and the feeling of being completely and utterly lost...

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Ahh!!! *Checks pulse* You guys okay? I didn't think I was going to get through that! The heartbreak! WAHH! LOLZ. On a serious note, *putting on serious face* I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and I am so happy with each read, comment and vote that I see. You guys all make me really happy and I want to tell you that along with how thankful I am. I will update as soon as I can. I have to work tomorrow but, I will try and get it done by Saturday or Sunday, but you never know. I may just surprise you..! Keep tuned. VOTE. COMMENT. FOLLOW. SHARE. I love you guys! XX, Love, Hannah :D <3