Chapter 27

*****

This chapter does have some swearing in it. Just warning you!! Enjoy! XX, Love, Hannah <3

*********

CHAPTER 27: Natalie took in deep calming breaths as her heart strummed harshly against her ribcage as if wanting and fighting to get out. The hotel her mother was staying at was minutes away and she couldn't deny the large ball of anxiety that tightened her chest at the thought of seeing her mother again.

She wasn't alone. Giovanni had insisted that she have guards with her and so she had 5 big and burly men caging her in, their eyes taking everything in with caution and awareness. She knew how nervous Giovanni was because of her psycho father wanting to kill her and she bet it took a lot of him to finally insist she go out of their safety zone to make amends with her mother.

Slowly, as she thought of Giovanni the anxiety lessened slightly so it was just a constant hum in her chest.

She thought of how he had thanked her for going to see her mother after dinner and a blush claimed her cheeks. She looked down at her lilac colored sundress and hoped she didn't look to dressy, but then admonished herself. This was her mother she was going to see for gods sake.

She had cleaned the vomit from her mother numerous times and she was worried that she was overdressed?

No. Everything is fine, she told herself.

That thought shriveled up like a scared bird shrinking away from a hungry cat as they pulled to a stop.

They were here.

Of course the one time she actually never wants to reach her destination they get their within what felt like seconds, she thought with a snort. The two men that had been sitting in the front turned off the ignition and gracefully pulled themselves out of their seats, the two men flanking Natalie doing the same a moment. Her breath became faster and tears stung her eyes as her anxiety heightened to the point it stole her breath.

In, out, she told herself but could barely hear her inner voice because of the roaring in her ears.

"Miss?" One guard asked and she swallowed hard.

"Just a moment!" she said her voice coming out harsh in her state of panic.

She didn't even have the mind to apologize as thoughts assailed her. What if her mother didn't want to see her anymore? What if she was passed out drunk? Had she been lying when she said to come any other time?

Natalie licked dry lips and climbed into the front driver's seat, her knees trembling slightly as she sat and demanded the keys.

They were in her hand a moment later, shockingly cold against her clammy palm. She turned on the car and stuck her face in front of the air condition vents as her heart beat a mile a minute in her chest. She couldn't do this.

Why had she thought she would be able to do this in the first place?!

Her stomach rolled and she focused on the soft cool kiss of the air blowing against her face.

A ding from her phone had her jumping and smacking her forehead against the visor. With slightly shaky and fumbling hands she looked at her phone.

One text from Giovanni.

Her racing heart slowed slightly as she let herself relax against the car seat.

I am so very proud of you, mi amor. Please let me know how it goes and call me as soon as you can. I love you with all my heart. -G.

A small smile curled her lips as she reread the message and the anxiety she felt dimmed until she didn't even notice it with the warmth that filled her heart at Giovanni's simple words. She thought of what he had gone through with his mother and she knew he would give anything just to have one more moment with her. Natalie knew, too, that she would never forgive herself if she didn't at least see her mother once more.

Taking in one more calming breath, she forced her legs out of the car and handed the keys to the man before nodding that she was ready to go.

Two men flanked her sides, two in back and one in front.

She felt like a celebrity and she smirked as she smoothed down the soft fabric of her dress and made her way into the hotel and up the stairs. She pulled out the card her mother had given her that one night and found she was in room 452. By the time they had gotten up the two flights of stairs she wondered idly why they hadn't even considered taking the elevator. Her lungs burned and she felt like she was about to have a heart attack.

All those flabby bits, she thought with a sigh then steered her mind back to the task at hand as they passed 449, 450, 451, and finally came to a stop in front of 452.

Her anxiety heightened slightly, but she pushed it down and took in a deep breath and she brought up a fist, hesitated, and then knocked twice.

There was a sound of shuffling and after what seemed like an eternity the door swung open to reveal her mother.

At the sight of her daughter and 5 men standing in front of her she kind of froze as her mouth gaped open and Natalie took the moment to take inventory of how her mother looked.

She noted with some surprise, how good she looked.

Her eyes were not bloodshot or glassy, her hair looked clean and un-greasy and she wore some flannel sleeping pants and a long sleeved shirt.

No alcohol reached Natalie's nose, either.

Finally, her mother snapped out of her shock as her eyes misted slightly and she swallowed.

"Nat. Um, please come in." Rebecca managed through a tight throat.

Natalie managed a small smile as she began to make her way in and then she paused as the guards attempted to enter with her.

She turned to them with a polite smile.

"Guys, I need a moment alone with my mother." She said and they all shifted, hesitating.

Natalie sighed and ran a frustrated hand through her hair.

"You can stand right outside and we will be done soon."

Finally, the men nodded and stepped back as Natalie gently shut the door and turned back to her mother. Both of them stared at each other for a moment and tension hung in the air, thick enough to cut through. Natalie cleared her throat and her mother finally met her gaze.

"You look good." She whispered and Natalie's chest tightened.

She nodded. "You-" she cleared her throat again as it cracked.

"You look good too." She said and Rebecca managed a shaky smile.

"Please, sit. Would you like anything to drink?" she asked and Natalie shook her head, smiling slightly.

"I'm okay, mom." Rebecca stilled with the words 'mom' and Natalie knew it was because she never expected her to call her that again after what she had done.

Natalie patted the seat next to her, made herself meet her mother's gaze and say, "Sit." Rebecca slowly complied as if afraid of scaring her away.

It was quiet again.

"I am-"

"I should-"

They both spoke at the same time and laughed nervously.

"Go ahead." She said to Rebecca and her mother nodded and swallowed hard.

"I know how many times I've said that I was sorry, but it just doesn't feel like enough, but I will say it again. I am so sorry, baby. Even though I was trying to protect you I was still in the wrong by doing what I did. I should have told you the truth from the start and known you could handle it because you are a strong young woman." Rebecca's voice cracked and she looked down at her hands as she felt shame course through her.

"I think that was one of the reasons why I didn't tell you, because I knew what a strong and capable young woman you are because you had been cleaning up all my messes already and I thought at the very least I could clean up this one mess by myself and I just ended up hurting you again and I can never ever tell you how sorry I am, baby." Her mother cut off on a sob and Natalie's vision blurred with tears as she scooted closer and covered her mother's hand with her own and brought it so she could kiss her mother's wrist.

It only made her mother cry harder.

"Momma," she whispered through a tight throat.

"I know. I know. I forgive you." She said and her mother looked up through her tears, her gaze incredulous though lit with a small flicker of hope.

"You'd forgive me after everything I have done?" she asked and Natalie managed a small smile as she nodded.

Not even a moment later her mother had barreled her into a tight hug as she let out a body shaking sobs.

Natalie felt the warm drops hit her shoulder and she couldn't help the tears that ran down her face as she curled her face into her mother's neck and inhaled.

She smelled like apples and sage and Natalie hiccupped a sob because her mother hadn't smelt that way in forever, just of alcohol and the various drugs she had been using.

Rebecca pulled back and swiped her thumbs over Natalie's tears and kissed her forehead.

"Momma loves you baby, momma always loves you." She whispered and Natalie's chest squeezed at the words her mother had always said to her.

"I love you too Momma." She said and let herself revel in the feel of her mother's embrace and she hadn't realized how bad she had missed it until that moment...

************

"I really love him, momma." Natalie said and smiled at the thought of Giovanni.

She was sitting on her mother's hotel bed, her back against her mother's chest and in between her legs as her mother leaned back so she could braid Natalie's long hair.

Rebecca was still wary of Giovanni, but instead of voicing it, smiled that her daughter was happy and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm glad baby." She said and she was.

Natalie had spent the last hour telling her mom about everything that had happened since that last night she had seen her and there had been a couple laughs and a lot of tears. It was silent for a moment and Natalie let her eyes slip shut at the feel of her mother running her fingers through her hair.

Her mother broke it.

"Nat, have you talked to Ciara at all?" she asked and there was a note of hesitation in her voice. Natalie's brows furrowed and she opened her eyes and sat up so she could face her mother.

"No, I haven't." she said and realized how much she missed her best friend.

She had been so caught up in everything she hadn't even thought about how Ciara would be after she had gone missing.

Instantly guilt shot through her and her eyes stung with tears. How could she do that?! How could she be so horrible?

Natalie felt her mother stroking her back softly, comfortingly.

"I'm sorry to bring it up, because I know how much you have been through lately, but right after Giovanni took you Ciara came to me and started asking me a bunch of questions. She threatened to go to the police, but I told her you were okay and that I would tell her in time. She hasn't left Italy once and she calls me daily." Rebecca said and Natalie felt her guilt worsen at her mother's revelation.

"Call her." She said softly as she lifted her head and Rebecca's lips thinned before she finally nodded and reached for the phone.

Natalie stood and stepped into the bathroom as she heard her mother quietly speak into the phone. She knew that it would be only minutes before Ciara got here and she needed a moment. She closed the hotel bathroom door behind her.

The anxiety that she had felt with her mother came back with the realization that she would need to tell Ciara everything, and along with the anxiety came guilt so strong it took Natalie's breath away. She couldn't believe that after this long of Ciara being her friend she could've just forgotten.

Yes, she had a lot going on to be the understatement of the year, but to Natalie it didn't matter.

She walked over to the sink and stared at her reflection before sighing and dropping her head as she leaned her hands up against the sink and took in large gulps of air.

Finally feeling herself calming slightly, she turned on the faucet and cupped her hands under the stream of cold water and brought it to her face letting the startling coldness of the water shock her out of her guilt and her anxiety. She dried off her face and then stepped out into the hotel room to find her mother in the small adjoined kitchen washing her hands in the sink.

Her mother looked up, concern darkening her eyes as she curled her lips into a small smile. Natalie made herself return it before she stepped out onto the hotel balcony and breathed in the summer air.

The sun was dipping low into the sky, setting the clouds ablaze and casting purple and pink steaks, stroked softly and dusting into thin and wispy clouds. A passing breeze had the scent of freshly blooming lilies tickling her nose and she let the calm wash over her to dull the anxiety she felt.

She had gotten herself into an almost sleep-like state when she heard a commotion.

Her eyes snapped open and she turned and headed back inside to find her mother swinging open hotel door.

Ciara stood on the threshold of the door with two big burly men holding her by her upper arms as she thrashed in their grips.

"Let me go you giant fuckers! I need to see her! What the fuck?!" She shouted and Natalie winced at Ciara's...colorful vocabulary.

"Let her go." Natalie said softly, but loud enough to be heard over the commotion.

The guards instantly let go making Ciara stumble before she slowly raised her head to see Natalie standing there with her arms crossed over her chest and a small frown pulling at her lips.

Ciara shuttered in a shocked breath before she ran into the room and gathered her best friend into a tight hug.

"Oh my god! I've been so worried about you!" she said and sniffled.

Natalie closed her eyes as her vision became blurry.

Ciara pulled back to inspect Natalie's face. She nodded once, stepped back and slapped Natalie in the face.

Natalie couldn't really comprehend the harsh burn and throb of her cheek as she looked back at her friend.

"That is for worrying me sick!" she growled before she hugged Natalie tightly to her again.

Natalie couldn't help but laugh.

Ciara pulled back and narrowed her eyes down at Natalie.

They were both the same height but Ciara always wore five-inch heels.

"Now, you are going to explain me what the fuck is going on and where the fuck you have been." She snarled.

Natalie sighed and they all sat down so Natalie could explain everything...again. When she was done Ciara's mouth was hanging open and Natalie smiled slightly as she closed it for her.

"I know it's a lot to take in." she said and Ciara finally nodded and finally got her voice back.

"Holy fuck balls." She muttered before she took in a deep breath and nodded again.

"I'm still angry with you, but I understand now and I forgive you. I'm just glad you are okay." She said and Natalie managed a smile, feeling drained beyond belief.

"Thank you." She murmured and Ciara smiled.

One of the guards stuck his head in.

"Ms. Brown. Time to go." He said.

"Fuck off." Ciara growled and Natalie grinned but stood.

She hugged Ciara and her mother tightly. "Let's have lunch tomorrow. We can talk more then." She said and they nodded and said their goodbye.

Natalie was dead on her feet as they walked back to the car.

She was exhausted, physically and mentally and just wanted to be home in Giovanni's arms.

She rested her head on the window, the glass a cool kiss against her skin.

She felt as if she had been carrying large weights around and now with everything that had happened today they had been relieved of her and it was beyond satisfying. Natalie felt as though she could breathe again. She felt like everything was absolutely perfect and wished that it was perfect and that she was safe.

Then again, she usually never got her wishes...

************

All done. I am super sorry it took so long for another update it had just been so insane with work and school lately. I'm trying my hardest to get you chapters as soon as I can! Every time I see a new read it makes me so so happy. Keep tuned! More to come, my lovelies! Vote. Comment. Share. Follow. XX, Love, Hannah <3