Chapter 86: Smart Girls Have A Wedding Shower

Marley, Four days Later

"Good morning."

Bodie's voice greets me as soon as my eyes flutter, making my heart to do the same.

I stretch in his arms, my lips automatically seeking skin, any skin. They land on the dip just below his collarbone, planting unspoken promises and love even as they explore.

There used to be more muscle here, building to bulky pecs, but he's thin again for the moment. He didn't want to risk getting injured with a lot of weights, so he only ran and did bodyweight training in prison. Of course I saw his body changing during visits, but it's good that I can finally touch the changes I watched over time. Yes, it's good to be continually naked together once again.

Well, as continuously naked as we can be. A lot has happened in the last few days. Bodie has been spending most of his waking time with Darius, and now we've traded one paradise for another—Hawaii for Costa Rica.

But the real paradise is here in Bodie's arms.

He sighs in bliss as I kiss my way across his chest and climb on top of him.

"Again, Jasmine?" he grins. "You're insatiable."

"Lucky you," I murmur, rubbing myself on his erection.

He flips me over almost violently, but is all tenderness as he kisses down my chest and belly. When he reaches my other lips he says, "Lucky me? Lucky you I still remember how to do this..."

I grip his head and try not to scream, considering Darius is on the couch in this small tropical bungalow. "Okay...you win...lucky me..." I pant.

"I always win," he gets down to business and has me quaking so fast that he continues the conversation as he swiftly enters me while I'm still coming. "See? Jackpot!" he grins.

I grab his shoulders and pull him frantically to me in a frenzied kiss.

God, I missed him so much.

Half an hour later Bodie is brushing his teeth and I'm performing the beginnings of my get-ready routine, too. Ashlynn and Leed are getting married today, but in the middle of the jungle beneath waterfall spray, so they are the only ones being styled for an official wedding portrait. The rest of us are low-key glam today.

I've just finished applying my moisturizer, doing a few small morning tasks while I wait for it to dry. I pull my pack of birth control pills from my travel kit, turning them over and over in my hands.

Bodie spits in the sink, but he's watching me thoughtfully.

I meet his eyes in the mirror.

He smiles at me and I smile back.

No words are necessary. We've shared thousands upon thousands in the last year, and I've read each and every one dozens of time. Every letter he wrote me is imprinted on my soul.

I know this man.

I love this man.

I trust this man.

I hand him the pills.

He opens the pack, examining it. "You're sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure."

He nods mildly, taking my hand, leading me over to the toilet. One by one, he pops them out into the bowl.

"You do the honors, Jasmine."

I flush. He swoops me up and carries me back to bed as I whoop in surprise.

"No, we don't have time for this again," I laugh at him. "Leed's wedding is in two—"

"We have all the time in the world, baby," he promises me. "But you better start planning a wedding, because my mama is gonna kill me if I don't make an honest woman out of you this time..."

#

Months later, LA

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get used to being SCIC in name only, but that's what Bodie and I both are now.

We're still Soundcrush family, but the kind of family you only see once every couple of weeks. The kind that comes to a cookout with a covered dish and leaves early, before the hell-raisers of the family make the real memories together.

Not that anybody but Trace and Kat are still raising much recreational hell. Madam are up for a hang out and jam session anytime they come to LA, but they are too exhausted from zoo trips and beach days and celebrity kid birthday parties with three year old Lennon and one year old Cash to hit the clubs after a houseparty.

Leed always calls Ashlynn his Sunshine, but now that she is eight months pregnant, it's not even a joke anymore. He couldn't escape her orbit if he tried.

As we enter the foyer of his new mansion, we see him doing what he's always doing...showing off Ashlynn's belly to anyone who will stand still long enough.

He can't keep his hands off their baby girl. He's the biggest kid really, so impatient for his new toy. It's adorable to everyone but Ashlynn, who steps back from his handsy adoration with a look like her grope tolerance is reaching its maximum for the day.

She is very tired from renovating their new home and even more tired of over-attention. Especially Trace asking her every five minutes how her head feels. Not too happy about fielding phone calls from her parents in between Trace's constant queries, either.

Speaking of Trace, he breezes in from the backyard with a large tin of iced beers and other drinks.

"I brought my own. I don't trust Leed's beer taste since he went to Asia, that's all he likes now. Where you want these, Ash?"

She gestures him toward the bar on the sunporch. He plops them down, and returns quickly. "Kat got way-layed in the car by a call from a donor, she'll be in a second," he says quickly. He gives her a kiss on the cheek. "How ya feeling today? Sleepin' okay? No headaches?"

She glares at him with a point finger. "Ask me that one more time, Gallant."

He holds up his hands. "Sue me for giving a shit about you and my niece..."

"She's not your niece, yet," Kat calls loftily, waving her finger that still carries her beautiful promise ring, which she has jokingly begun to call her "No Progress Ring," ever since Ashlynn and Leed's whirlwind wedding.

"If you wanna get married you gotta get in line, Little Sister," Bodie jokes, wrapping his arms around me.

"That's right," Ashlynn beams, "Tonight is about Bodie and Marley, not about you and your noncommittal rock star..." she winks at Trace.

He smirks, drawing a perfectly willing Kat to him by the hand, kissing her confidently. "Don't listen to your grumpy sister. Your rock star is perfectly committed. He just has the balls not to cave to all this wedding and baby mania and deliver what he promised you this year—a complete and total work hiatus, like we've never actually had, and a trip around the world. No Soundcrush. No del Marco philanthropy. No press chasing us because I put a new ring on it. No celebrity wedding insanity..."

"And no Instagram on our trip around the world!!!" Kat wails, making a mock horror face.

"No Instagram," he agrees. Trace murmurs as he kisses Kat's neck. "The only pictures I wanna take on our trip will be very very private..."

She giggles as he mauls her throat. It's incredibly inspiring, how hot for her he still is after four years of constant companionship, plus living together for the last six months. I guess she will always be his teenage dream.

He looks up at Ash, "But don't worry, Ashlynn. We will be here for the birth and for as long as you need after. You know...you look tired, why don't you sit—"

Leed cuts him off. "Trace, she looks perfect," he says gesturing at the world's most beautiful pregnant girl. "She's the picture of health." He always touches his third eye when he says that, like he's seeing her with something more than the rest of us. "The minute I get worried about her health, is the minute you will all know, but for right now, she's perfect. She's healthy. She's happy. Leave her the hell alone."

Ashlynn softens as he says that, all her former irritation with his belly attention gone. She grabs his wrist, pulling him all around her, so that he's cradling her and her belly.

We all look around at the dozens of catered staff, hurrying in and out of the house and the tented back yard.

It's just like Ashlynn to dump the plans for her housewarming party and insist on throwing Bodie and me an informal couple's shower instead, because she's afraid of being in labor when our wedding day arrives in a couple of weeks. Leed's not worried; he swears his kid has better timing, but Ashlynn's last doctor's appointment showed some signs that she's getting ready to deliver.

Our wedding plans started out very private, but with Darius finally signing with Colossal, and me being back in the LA game as his manager, and Bodie co-producing Darius' album with one of the top R&B producers in the business, and the completely unexpected success of Soundcrush's music film, Legacy—especially the positive reaction to Bodie's part in the film—our family of three has been thrown back into the LA limelight with a gusto in the last couple of months. Our guest list—and the wedding itself—have grown to the size of a modest LA wedding.

Which is a huge wedding anywhere else.

My own reaction to that surprised me. I don't mind at all. I'm so proud to be marrying this man, I would invite the whole world to watch if I could.

I'm actually more nervous about tonight than the wedding. Tonight will be the first time in about a year and half that Bodie has come face to face with Matt del Marco.

Row and Trace have forgiven. Riley is reconciled with what happened as long as Row is happy. Matt is not.

I'm actually surprised he's coming tonight, but it probably has more to do with welcoming Leed and Ash to the neighborhood—his mansion is just down the street.

I sneak a look at Bodie. He's not nervous at all about Matt being here.

"If the man comes to my pre wedding party and starts some shit with me—in front of industry types— then everybody here will know who the asshole is, and it won't be me," he assured me earlier today with a kiss.

The guests begin to arrive and Bodie and I are soon pulled in different directions.

It's a little surprising, hours later, when I find myself surrounded by Tamara, Mac, Kat, and Ashlynn. I still see them all, but it's been a long time since it's been like this...like a girls' club.

"Well?" Kat asks with champagne and eyebrow both raised.

Mac snatches Kat's champagne. "You're cut off. What's the matter with you, asking somebody if they are pregnant or not? She will tell us when she's ready."

Kat snatches her champagne back. "I wasn't even talking about that. I wanted to know how Bodie feels about the set he's gonna play with Soundcrush tonight. It's the first time he's been on the kit with them since before...everything..."

Tamara snatches Kat's champagne. "You are so lyin'. You were definitely asking about the baby making."

Ash takes the glass from Tamara and hands it back to Kat. "She wasn't asking. She was just giving Marley the space to interpret her Well however she liked." Ashlynn beams at me, then gives me the same Ballard eyebrow raise as Kat. "Well?"

I put on a false smile. "Well...Bodie is happy to be back on the kit for tonight. Even if it's just for this party. He's content with the way things are—nothing makes him happier than making music with Darius in the studio—but he's really touched that they all wanted to do this."

Ashlynn and Mac beam. Tamara and Kat pout.

"And I'm not pregnant," I say a little too cheerfully. "Not this month."

Suddenly there's a hand at my back. He's always there, when this subject comes up. "Ladies...ladies...patience...our next kid is just wanting to come legit, is all."

I smile into his scent as he gives me a quick temple kiss and then is called away to schmooze a promoter interested in Darius. It should be me, schmoozing that promoter, I realize, and I quickly disengage from the girls.

I don't want to talk about not being pregnant right now. I'm not sure how I feel about it. It's not some horrible problem—it's only been a few months since I went off the pill—but the disappointment at seeing those negative results on the tests each month is beginning to compound.

It's the great irony that when you are trying to get pregnant,it's sometimes not as easy as when it's the very last thing you want.

Adam breezes by me, "Heads up. MdM in the house."

I square my shoulders and put on my Doc Gorgeous. Adam winks at me. "If he starts any shit, you know I got my boy..."

I head straight for Bodie, feeling the need to present a united front. All at once, Matt del Marco and Row and seem to converge on us, like Row was planning to run interference.

"See what trouble I saved you by eloping, Daddy?" Row says with a sweeping hand. "Having a big LA wedding is months' worth of attending these couples showers. And can you imagine the big deal mom would have made, throwing us a wedding?"

"No, I can't imagine any bigger deal than her sobbing for three days over missing your wedding," Matt says dryly.

"I did not sob for three days," Marianne says, approaching on the arm of her son in law. "That was you."

Matt grins at her. "What happened to always backin' each other up in front of the children?"

"Rowan is all grown up, that's what happened," Riley says, exchanging his mother-in-law for his wife. "You look lovely, darling, I'm so sorry I had to come straight for the airport..."

"Well?" she says eagerly.

Riley's lips twitch. "They loved your screen test, and the concert footage. They want you for the part..."

"Yes!" Row screeches, jumping into his arms.

Riley grins into the air as he twirls her, but he pats her back to regain her attention. "I only gave a verbal commitment. The producer has this batty notion to film the pilot in New Zealand...it's unlikely to happen but the production length needs to be ironed out before you sign on..."

"Oh who cares where we film the pilot—if the show gets picked up most likely most of the shooting will be in LA—and I got the part!!!" She hugs him hard.

"I knew you would," he tells her. "You're a born star."

"That she is," Matt says grimly, looking at Bodie. "Not even a thief could rob her of that."

Row whips around. "Daddy, I swear to fuck if you start this shit tonight—"

Matt shooshes her with a hand and shakes his head at Bodie, "I wanted to hate you, kid. I really did. But hating you hurts my son and it hurts my daughter and if things go the way I figure they are gonna go, it would keep on hurting them. So..." he snags Adam by the shoulder, whose been sidling up on our group. "I guess I'm gonna get with the Preacher, here, and work on that whole forgiveness thing."

The relief that breaks over everyone's faces is exactly the way I feel on the inside. Bodie's gives Matt a chin tip and an open hand. "Seems like you're already making a big start. Thank you, Matt."

Matt takes his hand and they pull in briefly.

"It fucking kills me," I hear Bodie mumble. "Only thing I cried about in prison was your daughter. My whole life, I won't get over that shit."

"You don't know nothing about crying over that kind of loss, until it's your own kid, Bodie. And I hope to god it never is. I mean that," Matt says as he strolls off with Adam, picking up a Perrier instead of a beer.

Marianne smiles after him and then turns her full attention on us, giving her own congratulations, warm and sincere. Then she is called away by Kat, probably for a conference about whatever donor Kat was talking to earlier.

Row embraces me and then pretends to sock Bodie on the chin. "Told ya. I got the old man wrapped around my finger now that I'm hitched. He misses me living at home."

"That he does, as evidenced at how often he shows up our home unannounced," Riley mutters, suddenly distracted by a phone call.

"I need to take this, excuse me," he wanders away. Then he suddenly stops dead, whirls in a three-sixty, a very unfamiliar look of surprise on his face. He hurries over to Chili. He gestures at his phone and gives her some kind of news or explanation. She looks surprised, and together they move away, probably to a quieter room.

"I hope that's good news about a brand offer and not another bad review. She takes a lot of shit being a replacement drummer, and she doesn't deserve any of it," Row mutters. Then she shakes her head and redirects her attention to us, crossing her arms. She grins at me. "So, knocked up yet?"

I groan. "Does everyone in LA know I'm trying to get pregnant?"

"Yeah, I saw it in the trades," she deadpans.

"Shut-up," I grin at her.

"Well if it's what you want, I say, rock right on to babyland. Personally, I told Riley, I will only marry you if you will not say the word baby until I'm thirty-five," she winks. "But good luck with all that," she gives me a hug. "I need a drink. I'll drink for two—me and you," she gestures back and forth between her and Bodie.

He laughs at her, "You do that, girl."

His eyes follow her, lingering on her hand by her side. I grab his face. "Not your fault. It never was. The man that hurt her is gone, and Row is happier than I have ever seen her."

Bodie takes my hand from beneath his chin and kisses it. "I know you are right, but I will always have sorrow in my heart for what happened to her."

"I know. And I also know you are strong enough to cope with that and still live a joyful life."

He embraces me tenderly, right there in the middle of the party. "You are my joy, Jasmine."

Trace can read a crowd like no one else, and he chooses the perfect moment to claim the stage beneath the large garden tent, signaling the other band members to join him. All hundred or so guests wander outside. Bodie and Chili stay in the crowd as Traces steps up to a mic while Leed rakes his hair and casually lopes onto the stage.

"Leed, nice place. You've done a lot with this dump in a short time." Trace grins, running a quick riff, settling into the Soundcrush banter.

"Thanks, man. Gotta keep up with the del Marco's, you know..."

"Half my age and you still can't keep up with me, kid," Matt yells.

The crowd laughs.

"You're right," Leed agrees. "I seen you out jogging, ain't no way I wanna do that..."

More laughs.

"So anyway," Leed continues, "Ashlynn and I—my incredibly beautiful and...incredibly pregnant wife Ashlynn—" somebody shines a spotlight on her, and she blushes, simultaneously holding her belly and waving, "There she is, hey Sunshine," he blows her a kiss. "Anyway, Ashlynn and I, we want to welcome you to our very first house party, and we couldn't be happier to be throwing it for my best friend Bodie and his beautiful bride Marley."

He smiles rather solemnly at us. "You two...you are something fierce and fated, and I'm honored to be a witness to the love you two have."

I feel myself tearing up. Leed's wise aura breaks.

"But my sister taught me a long time ago not to make a pretty lady cry in front of a crowd, and I see Marley tearing up back there, so I'm gonna turn these remarks over to Trace, who will say something a lot less sentimental, I'm sure..."

Adam plays a bass line in lieu of a drum roll for Leed's joke. Trace laughs and leans in again, his eyes on Bodie.

"So everybody here knows a little bit about what Bodie has been through in the last few years...and I guess I just want to say...you don't know the whole story. And even if you did, it doesn't matter. All you really need to know is Bodie has the biggest damn heart I've ever seen, and he got in a mess of shit, trying to protect all the people he loves. And all the people he loves?" Trace points at Leed, and then each one of his bandmembers, then SCIC—including me, Darius, Varrick and Ronna— then his sister Row, "are pretty much all the same people I love.

"So...Bodie had to make some hard calls, and the band had to make some hard calls, and while we enjoyed a successful and profitable year as a band, Bodie spent a bunch of long,tough days in jail, without his family. He's been out a while now, and we're all adjusting to the new normal, I guess," Trace gives me a grin, then turns his gaze to Bodie. "We all know things change and evolve, and we can't know exactly what the future holds, but for tonight, Soundcrush is damn glad to welcome our brother back to the stage."

Adam begins a clap as Mac wolf whistles, and the crowd takes up the cheer. Bodie squeezes my hand and releases, and struts like the rock star he will always be toward the stage. Leed embraces him hard, and so does Trace. Adam winks and daps him up, while Mac blows him a kiss.

Bodie quietly takes his kit, putting on his headset, flexing his hands, picking up his sticks, scanning the stage, then the crowd, his eyes landing on me. "It's good to be here," he says into his mic. "This one is my favorite Soundcrush songs, about new beginnings, and it's for my beautiful bride."

He counts it off like it's the most normal thing in the world, and then they play December Dawn, the song Leed wrote for Ash about a new beginning.

I've heard them play it three hundred times at least. I've never heard it like this. Not even when they performed it at the Grammy's. There's an energy between the five of them that won't be denied. It's like...watching life blossom.

Row is standing beside me, but after a few moments, I notice she's not watching the band. She's watching Chili. Then her eyes cut to me.

"Soundcrush hasn't sounded like that in a long time. Maybe not ever. You hear that?"

I nod, drinking Bodie in as he begins to sweat on the kit. I miss seeing him like that—lost in a rhythm he can't make on his own.

The band plays nearly a full set, like they don't want to quit. They are beyond flawless, they are in the zone they defined with their breakout album. The crowd never flags in enthusiasm. After a while, I watch Moran, who is shaking his head into his drink, like a man that lost something he knows he can't get back.

I know it, too. Everyone of those Soundcrush members has a feature that defines them. Bodie's joyful heart. Leed's mystical vision. Mac's ferocity, Adam's steadiness.

Trace? His defining feature?

Loyalty.

He will never ask Chili to leave the place Soundcrush made for her, even if it's for the greater good. He's not built to abandon a loved one. He couldn't even accept Bodie leaving, when everyone knew it had to be.

Even now, I see he's making eye contact with Chili, giving her an occasional wink or nod of assurance that it's just for the night, like they already discussed. Chili is stock still, not reacting like the rest of the crowd, and I'm not sure what she's seeing on that stage or feeling about it.

#

Later that night (or morning)

All of the guests have gone except for SCIC. Leed has coaxed Ashlynn into the pool, because it's one of the few places she gets relief from the burden of pregnancy. Kat and Row stripped to their underwear and joined them. Most of the rest of us are sitting around with our feet in the pool or lying on lounges.

Trace is sucking on a domestic microbrew. "It was a good party. Good vibe. Good beginning," he muses. "To Bodes and the Doc and a happy ever after."

A chorus of here-here's and happy ever after's rounds the pool.

"It was a great night," Bodie confirms, raising his own sparkling water. "Thank you. Next party is on me."

Everyone laughs because it's not a joke at all. Our wedding is two weeks away and it's going to be one helluva party.

We figure...we deserve it.

Row swims over to the side of the pool and studies Chili and Riley, still talking business in the sunporch. "What's going on there?"

All of Soundcrush is silent.

Adam—honest, brave Adam—is the one to say what they all are thinking. "I figure Chili's shook by the performance we put on tonight. I would imagine she's asking Riley if she's about to be out of a job."

"She knows we don't roll like that," Trace says quietly, but he looks troubled.

"Oh, I don't know," Mac says. "We voted our last drummer out." She winks at Bodie and he chuckles.

"That's not funny, Mac," Trace says, sitting his beer down and leaning forward, looking tired under the burden of leadership. "I'll go talk to her."

"No need brother, she's coming our way..." Leed relinquishes Ashlynn and climbs gracefully from the pool, sitting down on Mac's lounger, smiling at Chili as she walks slowly to us.

To my surprise, she drops down on the other side of Bodie, nudging his shoulder. "Fucking awesome set."

"Thank you. It did feel good, but it's your seat now. You know that right?"

She looks around at the group. "It's not. We all know it's not. I was just keeping it warm for you, Bodie."

"Chili—" Trace begins.

"I call a vote," she says calmly. "All those in favor of Bodie of taking his kit back?" She raises her hand.

Leed rolls off his lounger and picks Chili up bridal style, sitting her down on his lap in a deep chair.

"Talk," he says.

"You're dripping all over me, babe," she sniffs.

"You're trippin' all over everything if you think we are just gonna call a straight up vote like that. We need more discussion." Leed says. "Tell us what you are thinking."

She sighs, stroking Leed's hair like you might a stroke your pet, for comfort. "I'm thinking...Row had it right. I don't want be anybody's second best. I'm a damn good drummer, but I'm not Soundcrush's drummer, and I don't want a career where I'm always compared to Bodie. I want something...different. Like Row. And now I have a chance at that, and I want to take it. I think I'm supposed to take it."

"What are you talking about?" Row asks. "Another band?"

"Sort of," she smiles at Row. "Last week I screen tested for the drummer of your new tv band. After they decided on you for sure, they decided on me. They like our stage chemistry from the Strut footage."

"Are you fucking kidding me? That's awesome." She pops out of the pool, jerking Chili from Leed's lap, hugging her. Over Chili's shoulder she asks Riley, "Did you know?"

He gives Row a tolerant look of disapproval. "Darling, are you seriously asking me that?"

She shoots her husband of not quite a year a bird. "Fuck you, darling. I can't believe you kept me in the dark."

"You were need to know," he says smugly. "Now, you need to know. I still can't quite wrap my head around you two together again in New Zealand. Perhaps I should go ahead and put a bondsman on retainer there."

More laughs, as Chili and Row grin evilly at each other, like partners in crime. I ease against Bodie. He's tense for the first time in...forever. It's a tenseness born of sudden anticipation.

"What the hell, man?" Trace tosses to Riley with a grin. "You just gonna let our drummer bail on us and you didn't tell me."

"You were definitely need to know," Riley pops back.

Mac pulls Chili away from Row. "This is really what you want? To be an actor, not a drummer?"

"Maybe," Chili smiles. "I think so. I just know...I don't want this." She gestures around. "Seeing Bodie where he belonged tonight nearly broke my goddamn heart, and that's when I realized...the reason we sound technically awesome but missing the special something when I'm on the kit is because...this band has a broken heart. And I can't be the cause of that. You guys need to be whole." She smiles at Trace. "So...I quit. And I guess since I quit, it's not my place to call the vote, actually."

Trace laughs lightly and shakes his head, picking up his beer again. "Well, I guess we need a new drummer, guys. All in favor of making an offer to that skin-beater we used to have—"

Everybody groans at Trace's bad joke, but all hands go up.

Trace and Bodie rise as one, like they are attached by some force. Trace puts out his hand.

"Welcome back, man. Welcome the fuck back."

Everyone gives them the long moment, because they need it most. It's beautiful—and then it turns typically rock star.

Adam and Leed rise silently behind them. Adam counts a beat with three head nods then they shove together—violently launching Bodie and Trace into the pool. Leed jumps in after them. Adam picks up a screeching Mac and jumps in the deep end with her, amidst cheers and splashes from Kat and Ashlynn.

Bodie surfaces in front of me like a shark breaching. In an instant, I'm in a silent world of bubbles and hopeful green glow.

He kisses me under the surface, and I can feel him shaking from a dream come true—a dream he didn't dare to dream.