Their Kitten: Chapter 18

I can’t believe it’s her.

This entire time, I’ve thought the woman we were now helping was out to get us or blackmail us because she wouldn’t tell us who she is, but it was Cleo this whole time. The longer I stare at her, the more I recognize her. The guilty look in her eyes is the same she used to give me when we were kids, and she’d done something she knew would make me upset. In an instant, I’m pulled back to our childhood.

I nervously hold my wrapped gift up to her, my palms sweaty. I have worked all summer to save up money to be able to get her the American Girl doll she’s talked about for weeks. Money has been a little tight lately, with Mom’s treatments becoming more frequent, especially since Dad is still trying to get the real estate business off the ground. I remember how sad she looked when we passed the doll store in the mall, my father telling her that she’ll have to get the doll on another birthday. When I saw how much she wanted it, I knew I wanted to make sure that she was still able to smile on her birthday.

At least we could have a little sunshine from her smile instead of all the darkness that comes with our mom’s illness.

“What’s this?” She pushes the lollipop that was in her mouth into her cheek and takes the gift from me, giving it a shake.

“Don’t shake it, doofus. You might break it, and I worked hard to buy it,” I fuss.

She grins at me as she excitedly rips the wrapping paper off of it. “Did you steal this?”

“Do I look like a criminal to you?” I ask, a little offended. When she only laughs, I relax a little. I watch as she removes more and more paper, becoming excited to see what she thinks of her present.

“An American Girl doll!” She gasps and picks the box up carefully with wide eyes. “But Dad said it cost too much money!”

“I mowed the neighbors’ lawn for a couple of weeks to save up for it.” I sheepishly stuff my hands into my pockets. “I knew how bad you wanted it, so I just wanted to get it for you.”

She looks down at the box with a soft smile on her lips before she jumps up and wraps her arms around my neck. “Thank you, Tristan,” she murmurs. “I love you.”

I only smile in response as I hug her back. In this moment, I know I want to protect her from everything, to be there whenever she needs help. I want her to always know that she can count on me for whatever she needs, no matter how bad things may look on the surface.

It’s also then that I realize the young girl that I originally thought was an intruder in my family has somehow wiggled herself within the dark spaces of my heart and filled them with love.

Once the shock of my revelation wears off, questions formulate in my mind faster than I can process them. Everything Talon and I did to her…everything I’d done to her. How the hell didn’t I notice before now? I wrack my mind in an effort to try to remember something that might have helped me to realize who she really was, but I come up blank. She did a good job of masking herself. I’m sure the only reason I recognize her now is because it’s the first time I’ve really looked at her. I’d seen her with a bare face yesterday, but the adrenaline and chaos that coursed through me after the altercation with her landlord must’ve clouded my judgment. I should’ve realized it then, but I didn’t.

Everything I’ve done to her blooms to the forefront of my mind. Everything I’d done to her in Heaven, the unspeakable shit I did to her in Hell…even what I’d done to her in the parking lot in front of her apartment building yesterday. The woman I loved years ago saw a side of me that I never wanted her to see, leaving me exposed. I can’t begin to think about how she may perceive me now.

As quickly as the guilt unwinds, I quickly dispose of it and get a grip on myself. This isn’t on me. She had plenty of opportunities to tell us who she was.

She’s the one who left us all those years ago without so much as a sticky note to tell us goodbye. She turned her back on us without a single thought and never came back. Had I not figured it out just now, I’m sure she would’ve never told me the truth about her name.

“Why?” I simply ask. There’s so much more that I want to know, but right now, I just want to know why. Why did she lie to us? Why didn’t she want us to know it was her? Why did she leave all those years ago?

Cleo wraps her arms around herself as she drops her gaze to the carpeted floor. “You’re going to have to be a little more specific,” she murmurs.

“Okay.” I blow out a short breath. “Why couldn’t you just tell us who you were?” Frustration tightens my muscles as memories of everything we’ve done to her tumbles around in my mind. “We thought you were someone who would try to blackmail us for more money or something.”

She gives me a sheepish shrug, still refusing to look me in the eye. “When I realized it was you, I guess I was ashamed.” Her voice is soft, not much louder than a whisper. “I didn’t want you guys to see what my life had become and what I’ve had to resort to in order to survive.”

“Why would you sell yourself anyway?” I ask. The original shock and surprise quickly turn into anger the longer I look at her. Why would she subject herself to something like that? What if she ended up with two other guys that weren’t me and Talon. Just the thought of someone else touching her, being inside of her, hurting her makes me want to put a hole through the wall. She’s better than that; she deserves better than that.

But am I any different since I used her as well?

“To survive. Not everyone grew up with a silver spoon, Tristan.” Her words are sharp, and they sting upon impact, which only adds to my anger.

“You could’ve had that, but you ditched us, remember?” I tell her bitterly. “You could’ve had a life just as we have now, but you chose to walk out.” I hold her gaze. “Why?”

Her eyes glass over with unshed tears before she eventually shakes her head and blinks them away. “It doesn’t matter now,” she says softly.

“Like hell it doesn’t,” I scoff. “You don’t think you owe us some kind of explanation? Some kind of closure? We cared about you—loved you even—and you just disappeared. Never came back to visit, never reached out…just disappeared.”

“It’s complicated⁠—”

“I think we’re well past complicated after these last couple of weeks, don’t you think?” I say sarcastically, my frustration making my words so tight that they’d snap if I could physically touch them. “You left right after we lost Mom. Do you know how hard it was for us to lose both of the most important women in our lives?”

Something akin to guilt flashes in her eyes, but her expression remains passive. “I’m sorry if my actions hurt you, but I had to do what I thought made sense for me at the time.” She sighs softly. “Look, this current situation is already enough, so I’d rather not bring the past into it right this minute.”

I’m not sure if I’m more upset with her or myself. I’d thought about this girl for years, wondering where she was, if she was happier now than she was with us, if she ever thought about us. It never crossed my mind that Kitten could be Cleo, but her reaction to us in Heaven when I called Talon by his nickname makes sense. And I’d revealed the monster that dwelled within me when she was never meant to see it.

This situation is becoming more fucked up by the second.

There’s so much I want to know about her and her life, but she’s so guarded. Each question only comes with a vague response that doesn’t quite satisfy the itch of satisfaction that I’m looking for.

“Was it us?” I finally ask after a long while. Her brows knit together on her forehead as she frowns at me, confused eyes searching my face.

“What are you talking about?”

“Did we make you mad? Make you feel as if you weren’t wanted or something?” I feel like I’m throwing shit at the wall in an effort to try to understand what happened all those years ago, but she only continues to stare at me with a blank expression.

“Me leaving had nothing to do with you and Talon,” she says, but she struggles to meet my gaze.

“Then what was it?”

But she only sadly shakes her head. “I can’t talk about that right now, Tristan.”

Frustration mounts in my chest. I don’t like being in the dark. After everything that’s happened since she’s reappeared in our lives, the least she can do is give us the full truth. Instead, she continues to hold it close to her chest, locked away in her heart to never see the light of day.

She’s an anomaly I didn’t account for, a complication that I can’t necessarily fix, and the lack of control I have fills me with anxiety. Now that the truth about her identity is out of the bag, where do we even go from here? Will she take her money and walk out on us…again? Will she choose to stay?

Knowing that she could end up rejecting us once again sends a sharp pain through my chest. I have to get out of here before I’m tempted to do something I’ll regret, something that I won’t be able to fix.

I simply turn away from her and give her a taste of her own medicine—leaving without a single word.