She raises her head to look at me, her mouth opening as sheâs about to say something, only to close it as she blinks, her eyes moving over my face before focusing on my lips.
Her pupils contract, her tongue sneaking out to wet her lips.
A low groan escapes me at the blatant invitation I see in her eyes. And Iâm not the only one who sees her reaction, Cisco coughing awkwardly in his fist, while Yuyu looks away in embarrassment.
It takes her a moment to get her bearings together, shaking herself. Flushing a pretty pink, she redirects her attention to her glass.
The dinner continues and she quietly picks at her food, every now and then looking up at me with an inscrutable expression on her face.
âIâm curious, Raf,â Cisco starts as he directs his mismatched eyes to me, his gaze chilling and meant to intimidate. âWhat drew you to my sister?â He raises a brow. âYouâre a worldly man.â He chuckles, the double entendre not escaping me since heâs been dying to know where Iâd been in the years Iâve been absent, âWhile my sister is decidedly .â
Noelle, too, turns sharply at his words, looking at me with a mix of curiosity.
I guess everyone has a different definition of âNoelle is a beautiful woman, Cisco. Itâs normal for men to be drawn to her,â Yuyu comments, giving Noelle a sweet smile.
âYes, but sheâs also willful, stubborn, and can drive even a saint to madness,â Cisco mutters drily, giving Noelle a reprimanding look.
Her eyes widen at him, but she keeps her mouth shut, for once forgoing an insolent reply. The more I observe her, though, the more I realize that itâs not for lack of want, but because the words her. A look akin to pain flashes across her face and a low tension unfolds in my chest.
âIt was her music that drew me to her,â I interrupt, my voice steady as I cut over Cisco. âI happened to hear her play the piano, and it was such a wonderful melody that I couldnât help but linger outside the attic.â I turn to her. âShe was so immersed, her fingers gliding so gracefully over the keyboard that I couldnât help but be mesmerized.â
She blinks, tilting her head as she looks at me in confusion.
âHer music,â Cisco repeats, his tone skeptical.
âItâs been so long since she played,â Yuyu sighs. âI was so happy when I heard the piano again, right Cisco?â He grunts a noncommittal answer, but Yuyu isnât deterred as she continues, warmth and pride radiating from her voice. âDid she tell you she won quite a few competitions? Some of them were very prestigious.â
While Cisco has always come across as cold and unyielding, Yuyu is the opposite. And her affection for Noelle is clear as sheâs always trying to take her side, her regard for her similar to that of a mother. But considering the fact that sheâd watched her grow, itâs not entirely unusual she should feel this way about her.
âNo,â I reply, my eyes on Noelle. Meeting my gaze for a second, she quickly looks away. âShe hasnât mentioned that.â
âOh my,â Yuyu gives a soft gasp. âNoelle! How could you not tell him that?â She chides, almost scandalized, before starting to recount in great detail how Noelle had started playing the piano at the age of four, immediately showing promise and being branded a prodigy by her teachers.
âShe was only fourteen when she had her first big concert,â Yuyu says enthusiastically, but Noelle doesnât share the sentiment as she lowers her head, fidgeting with her hands in her lap.
âReally?â I drawl, my voice going down a dangerous octave.
âShe was praised for her distinctive style. Her teachers described it as brisk and innovative. She would take pieces and mash them together to give them a new, buoyant flavor,â Yuyu continues to prattle. âShe used to combine antithetic pieces and the result was very well received, isnât that right, love?â She turns to her husband, a bright smile on her face. Cisco attempts to return it, his not as authentic as his features are clearly strained.
âIs that so?â I frown, taking in the new information. âI donât think Iâve heard that from her yet. The only pieces sheâs played so far have been gloomy. For a while I wondered if she only knows how to play funeral pieces,â I joke, but no one laughs.
Everything comes to a standstill as Yuyu and Cisco share a worried look.
âHer style must have changed. Right, Noelle?â Ciscoâs stern voice cuts through the air.
Noelle has been silent until now, looking entirely too uncomfortable as Yuyu related her achievementsâas if it wasnât something to be proud of.
Certainly, Iâd noted from the first that there was something special about the way she plays. Even though the pieces she plays have the same morose tone, itâs impossible not to feel the emotion emanating from every note.
It hadnât been a lie that her skill had mesmerized me at first. Then it had simply angered me. Because Iâd realized that I had heard her play before.
Few things had helped me cope with my captivity, and even fewer things had helped me keep my spirits up when everything had seemed hopeless. Alone in my cold and damp cell, darkness and silence my only company, Iâd been starved for type of interaction.
And before Lucero had invited some semblance of light in my life, Iâd had music.
A lone melody that seemed to echo in the deep of the night, the notes weeping as they propagated through those empty places filled with tragedy. The screeching sadness of the melody had woken something inside of me.
In the beginning, Iâd thought it was a dirge meant to lead me on my last journeyâa funeral march meant to signal the end of my life.
But the sound had persisted. And I hadnât died.
Long nights of writhing in pain with only the power of those sad notes to hold me awake and keep me from succumbing to my death, and Iâd recognized that behind the desolate melody, there was also something else.
While the primary melodic line had a pessimistic quality to it, there were times where optimism prevailed. Like the downcast sky clearing after a storm, it was a sign that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Even in my drugged up state, Iâd clung to that, holding on to that hope.
It had been music. Of that I am certain. And that only makes me more incensed that sheâd been the source of my comfort in those dark nights.
âRight,â Noelle mutters at her brother. âMy music imitates reality,â she starts, her gaze sharp as she gives Cisco an accusatory look. âWhen I was younger I could still see the beauty of life. Nowâ¦â she gives a dry laugh. âNot so much.â
âYouâre being impertinent,â Cisco chides.
âIâm being realistic,â she shrugs. âWhy should I play about something I donât believe in?â
âYou donât believe in happiness?â I throw the question, narrowing my eyes at her.
She turns, her face emotionless.
âNo,â she answers promptly.
âBut you believe in death?â I continue to probe. âSince your pieces are about death.â
âNo,â she shakes her head. âItâs not because I believe in death. Though I donât think anyone would contest the existence of it,â she gives a low chuckle, coldness seeping into her raspy voice. âDeath is inevitable. I merely play to pave the way for it,â she says cryptically, but I understand the subtext.
Our eyes meet, our gazes holding fast as a low undercurrent passes between us. For what seems like an eternity, I can only stare at her, a grim understanding uniting us.
But the moment is soon over as a waiter comes by, bringing our food, the sound of a plate touching the table startling me out of my reverie.
âHave you tackled particular issue with your therapist?â I ask in a mocking tone, trying to regain some semblance of control.
A sad smile painted on her face, she turns to face the table.
âYes, and she thinks Iâm rather hopeless. It seems you paid a for a defective product,â she snides.
âHmm, I wonder,â I muse out loud. âI prefer broken things, myself,â I let my lips widen in a charming smile. âAfter all, itâs easier to mold them to a desired result.â
Thereâs a twitch in her jaw at my words.
âIs that so?â She raises a brow. âIn my experience, one usually tires of fixing a broken product. And thereâs only one recourse for such thingsâyou get rid of them,â she says in a punctured tone.
âI rather think youâre right,â I chuckle. âBut why miss on the fun of playing with the parts? Moving them around, replacing themâ¦â I pause, sensing the tension radiating from her. âMaking the product even more broken than before?â I ask rhetorically.
She doesnât answer, though I can tell she knows what I mean.
âWhy do I think weâre no longer talking about music?â Yuyu intervenes.
Planting on my best smile, I interject.
âOh, it about music. After all, her music is beautifully broken. I think thatâs what attracts people to it, isnât it? The raw emotion that imbues the musicality of each note.â
âWonderfully put,â Yuyu praises. âThatâs similar to what one of her teachers said. He wanted to sign her to a label,â she smiles ruefully.
âImpressive,â my brows arch in surpriseâor, better put, admiration. âWhy didnât she do it?â I ask carelessly and silence greets me.
Eyes wide, Yuyu opens her mouth to reply, but one glance at Noelle and she stops.
Cisco, too, grits his teeth, looking almost embarrassed.
âBecause I got married,â Noelle eventually answers.
âNoelleâ¦â Yuyu reaches across the table to grab her hand in an act of small comfort. Her face is contorted in pain as she gazes at her sister-in-law and I realize that the gesture would not be well received. More than anything, I see the way Noelle is itching for a fight, her entire countenance poised for conflict.
And knowing how Cisco reacts if anything were to disturb Yuyuâ¦
My eyes quickly scan the room, a plan taking shape in my mind.
âI want to hear,â I suddenly say, grabbing Noelleâs hand and tugging her to her feet. âI want to hear what would have prompted your teacher to sign you to a label,â I tell her rather forcefully, leading her towards the end of the restaurant where a piano is situated.
I donât wait for the others to reply as I push her on the piano bench, more or less putting her in the spotlight as everyone turns to watch her closely.
âWhat do you think youâre doing?â she hisses at me through a fake smile as she gazes at the crowd observing our interactions.
âIâm saving you from more conflict with your brother. You know how he will react if you offend your sister-in-law.â
âOf course,â she mutters dryly. âAnd we would want to do that.â
âExactly.â I place my hands on her shoulders, holding her in place. âNow be a good girl and put on a show for everyone to seeâincluding your family. We wouldnât want your brother to think weâre not getting along, now, would we?â I murmur softly in her ear.
âAnyone with two good eyes would have noticed we arenât exactlyâ¦cordial,â she says, a strained smile on her face.
âMy, my, Noelle. Youâre rather clueless, arenât you?â
She stiffens at my words.
âWhat see and what see are two different things,â I chuckle, my breath fanning her cheek as I nod in their direction. âThey sense the tension between us, but not the murderous kind.â I move closer, my lips skimming her soft skin. âEven now,â I whisper, feeling her shiver under my touch. âThey see our interactions. The way you tremble when I put my hands on youâ¦â
And to show her, I gently move my hands down her shoulders, eliciting a small gasp from her lips.
âThey hear your soft whimpers and the way your breath hitches in my proximity,â I continue. âAnd they see the way I look at you.â
âWhat⦠What do you mean?â She asks, her voice barely above a whisper.
âLike I canât wait to get you alone,â I smirk against her skin. âLike my hands are itching to close around your neck, feel your pulse beneath my fingertipsâ¦â
The reaction is immediate, her breath erratic as she tries hard to keep herself still.
âThey see the way you arouse me,â I pause as she opens her mouth on a throaty gasp.
Moving my hands back up, itâs to circle them around her neck, gently massaging her flesh. âBut they donât know that my dick gets hard at the thought of snapping this lovely neck. That which they perceive as desire is merely my need to have you at my mercy.â
Her entire body is quaking, her lids opening and closing as she fights for control. Her lips part as sheâs about to reply, but I quickly shush her.
âNo. Donât speak,â I command her. âPlay for me, little liar. Play for me and show me how much you hate me.â
And with that, Iâm off her, backing away while holding her gaze captive.
For a moment I donât think sheâs going to do it. Not with the way sheâs looking at me, her expression a delicious mix of fear and desire.
But as I resume my seat at the table, a note echoes in the restaurant.
Everything seems to come to a standstill as the music beginsâslow and tentative at first, before bursting into a burgeoning storm of feeling.
âThatâ¦â Yuyu frowns. âWhat did you say to her?â she asks, her eyes fixed on Noelle.
I donât reply as my attention is fully focused on Her back is straight, her head slightly tipped in the air as she sways ever so slightly with every note she plays. Her eyes are closed, her lips slightly parted to accommodate the tip of her tongue to peek through.
She looks completely gone as she transfers magic from her fingertips into the keys of the piano, each stroke bold and confident but without coming across as contrived.
My own lips part in surprise as I become entranced by the vision of her. Itâs like sheâs a completely different person as she controls the music that emanates from the piano.
The melody starts out with her trademark gloom as she channels Bachâs Little fugue, a glaring anger underscoring the execution as she glides her fingers aggressively over the keys. Thereâs a twitch in her cheek as she gives herself to the sound.
Suddenly, her hands still, the sound abruptly stopping as she catches her breath. Thereâs a deafening silence in the entire restaurant as people are gaping at her.
The pause is too brief, however, as she jumps straight into the next piece. A calmer yet unusual one, sheâs playing Clara Schumannâs Mazurka in a way that both soothes and scintillates the senses. The tone is melancholic, exacerbated only by her rapt expression as she gives herself to the music, her brows slightly pinched together, the muscles in her neck corded with tension.
But itâs a false calm that she lulls everyone into. And just when least expected, her fingers erupt in a cacophony of sound, the melody stilted and screeching of conflicting and unresolved emotions.
Everyone is frowning at the choice of music.
Sheâs channeling Schoenbergâs atonality to prove a pointâa directed straight at me.
As she starts to blast that sound into the air, her eyes snap open, her gaze firmly placed on me as she gives into this emotive display of madness.
I recognize the fire in her eyes, the way her feelings are transferred on to the keys of the piano before resounding into room for the whole world to hear. The intimate and raw way she conveys her emotions, using her music as the head of an arrow meant straight for my heart.
Hit me it does, leaving me reeling as I canât seem to wrench my gaze away from her.
.
Thereâs only one way to describe her at this moment. Haunting.
As if she could imprint herself on oneâs very soul, leaving behind a searing trail never to be healed again.
The anger is palpableâand fuck if it doesnât awaken something inside of me, the sound so intoxicating it makes my insides seethe with unreleased tension.
I feel her melody on my tongue, the taste tangy and metallic, not unlike tears of sorrow mixed with the hopelessness of life. But beneath it all thereâs a sweetness that is, paradoxically, imbuing her anger.
The taste of her song is exhilarating, her emotions so vivid itâs like Iâm getting drunk on them. But to give in would mean the start of a addiction. One that once it sinks its claws into me, it might let me go.
Closing my eyes, I swallow, marveling at the pure taste of agony that assaults me as she launches into Schubertâs Winterreise.
In a spectacular move, she overlays the two songs, emphasizing both her precarious mental state and her anger at the world, using one hand to play Schubert in a lower octave, while the other is adding hints of Schoenberg in a higher octave.
The result is truly spectacular in its monstrosity. To the untrained ear, it sounds as if an amateur is playing the piano haphazardly, hitting random keys to create the semblance of a sound.
Beneath all that cacophonous dissonance lay the seed of geniusâone thatâs been hurt and battered and now bleeds from the piano keys.
I donât realize when she stops playing. So enraptured I am by the vision in front of me that I canât react even as people start clapping at her.
She rises from her seat, slowly wading her way back to the table. And as I raise my gaze towards hers, meeting those stormy brown eyes peppered with flecks of green, itâs to find myself rooted to the spot.
Iâve seen her before, yet now I her.
She puts one step in front of the other, walking stiffly towards us, almost as if sheâs self-conscious about her display. For a second I have to wonder if she regrets giving away too much of what sheâs feeling, because her melody is still fresh on my senses, that pure anguish wrapped in resentment that lives inside of her leaving its mark on me.
But just as Iâm about to take a step towards her, meet her in the middle where there are no other ears to intrude on what I want to ask of her, a loud noise permeates the air.
Everything happens at once.
The shouts. The commotion. The screams of pain.
Iâm vaguely aware of Cisco swiftly maneuvering the dinner table as a shield to protect his wife, barking an order and charging me with Noelleâs safety while he takes care of Yuyu. Knowing Cisco and his extreme obsession with his wife, nothing will stand in his way in making sure both her and their unborn child are safe.
Which leaves toâ¦me.
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