Chapter 87: "Out of Sight"

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Zayn sniffed. Salma glanced at him leaning his head against his hand, facing away from her. Her heart broke to see him so anguished. She felt at a loss on how to comfort him. How does one even console someone who is so harshly shoved into the cold and dark truth of living a lie.

Staring at his phone, he continued crying softly. Salma reached for his shoulder.

"Zayn . . ." she said, hoping he would show some response so she could pull him in for hug. She really did not want him to feel alone.

He wiped his face, throwing her a quick look. His eyes were raw with crying. He pulled away from her touch.

Salma's heart sank.

"Don't!' he said, still avoiding her gaze.

The muscle in his jaw ticked as he clenched his teeth. Salma could see him wrestling his anger and emotions alike. She felt utterly confused.

"Zayn –"

"You knew!" Zayn lashed out at her, stunning her into a silence. "You knew, didn't you?!"

Salma's lips parted in surprised. She took in his distraught appearance and stormy, red-rimmed eyes, absolutely speechless.

How did he know that?!

As her gut twisted into a bundle of painful nerves, she avoided his accusing glare, chewing her lips nervously.

"Answer me, Bee," Zayn said, and in her periphery, Salma could see his resolve crumbling again.

She closed her eyes, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"Did you know?!"

"Yes," Salma replied quietly.

The look in his eyes killed her. There was so much pain and disappointment in them that Salma wished the ground would swallow her to shield her away from his tormented gaze. Zayn swallowed, trying his best to mask his pain.

"Since when?" he asked in a barely restrained tone.

"Zayn –"

"Just, answer the question!" He gritted his teeth.

"The night at your grandpa's --"

Zayn winced and turned away, standing up with his back to.

"You knew!" he cried. "You knew all along and you never told me!"

Salma blinked back tears.

"I'm sorry, Zayn," she barely whispered.

Zayn looked at her, his features etched in anguish. He shook his head, taking a step away from her.

"Do you know how I feel right now? Do you have any idea –" His voice cracked.

Her heart stabbed when he gave her his back again. She cried harder, not knowing what to do, or say. Grandpa had only told her to be there for him when he found out. Or, to show him the recording if Zayn did not get a timed email that he rescheduled every day.

"One day, when I'm not around, will Zayn get this email," he had said. "Three days after I'm gone."

He had made her promise not to relate it him when he was alive. Salma really could not do anything about it. She hated it, but the old man had already delivered the video to her inbox and she was already in on secret. She had no choice.

Releasing a shaky breath, Salma wiped away her eyes and got up. She reached out for him, but he shrugged her away.

"Zayn please . . ." Salma choked on her tears. She reached for him again. "Please hear me out," she pleaded.

"I have to go," he replied, his voice thick with tears. Sniffing, he grabbed her hand that was resting on his arm, and removed it gently.

Her heart clenched with pain when he dropped her hand. Salma bit back a sob.

"Where?" Salma asked.

He looked at her, his eyes raw and dull.

"Someplace, where I would not have to look at a face I love, and know that they've lied to me," he replied, reaching past her.

Salma felt a pain sear her chest.

"I'm sorry," she cried. "Zayn, I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me."

He picked up his phone.

"Zayn?"

He avoided looking at her. Locking his phone, he placed it in his back pocket.

"Please, Zayn . . ."

Salma watched him grab his jacket. He was about to leave, and she could not take the pain of his silence anymore. Taking Zayn by surprise, Salma ran after him and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him close to her in a desperate attempt to let him know she did not mean to hurt him.

"Please, please. He made me promise," Salma cried. "I didn't know what to do! I didn't - He - Your grandpa asked me not to tell you! Zayn, Please, I --"

Zayn feel his heart stab. She tried to pull him even closer.

"Please don't be upset with me! I promise I did not want you to get hurt, Zayn, I just --" she broke down, sobbing "I-I didn't know what t-to do. Y-you have to believe me!"

Zayn put a hand under her chin, raising her face to meet his gaze.

His heart melted to see the panic swimming in her eyes. Panic over losing him. The worry and the concern, the weight of having carried this secret that he realized she should never have been burdened with.

He let out a defeated sigh, tracing her cheek with his thumb, wiping away the tears.

"I do," Zayn replied, bringing his arms around her, holding her closer, accepting the comfort and warmth of her embrace. "I do believe you, Bee! I'm just so – God, it's so messed up! I don't even know anymore!" His voice cracked again. He was just so mad? Upset? Hurt? Zayn did not know what he feeling? He just knew his heart was aching like it would slice into two, and he did not know what to do ease the pain.

She cried silently, resting her head on his chest.

"I'm sorry." She tightened her arms around him, as if to hold him together. "I can't even imagine what you're going through. But I'm here, Zayn. . . I'm here for you."

Zayn nested his cheek atop her head, letting it out while she stood by him, holding him steady and giving some much needed love and warmth. Salma rubbed his back soothingly, wishing she could have done better somehow. She could not fathom but she could imagine. The horror and pain of waking up one fine day to know everything you've ever known is a lie. That your family isn't yours, you don't know who you are, where you come from, who your parents are? Are they still alive? Do you have anymore siblings? Do they even remember you anymore?

***

The next day, Salma did not see Zayn at all, all day. He was not in the hospital when she paid a quick visit before her class, and he was nowhere to be seen at campus. Salma sent him multiple texts, asking about him but he only replied to one, telling her he was fine. She made another trip to the hospital after her class. Claire and Niall both confirmed that Zayn had not been around.

"I haven't seen him since last night," Claire said as they strolled around the hospital building.

"I thought he was with you," Niall added, "but honestly, I wouldn't blame him if he's sleeping it off somewhere. Poor lad hasn't had a break since he came back. He needs some good rest."

"Yeah, he's probably in the apartment, then," Claire said. "Did you contact him?"

"I did. He texted me earlier saying he was okay but now his phone is off," Salma replied dully.

"The battery must've died," Niall said, smiling to see her so concerned for Zayn. "Don't worry, I'm sure he's alright."

Salma nodded in agreement but did not say anything. By the looks of it, Niall and Claire had no clue about Zayn's true parentage. She started getting worried as the day progressed. Zayn remained unreachable and missing from the scene. Where could he be?

Salma stayed in the hospital longer than usual. She was waiting for Zayn, hoping he would show up. As the skies outside got darker, an unease started taking over her. Salma, Claire and Niall were taking a coffee break when Claire got a call.

"We got to leave!" She quickly collected her things and grabbed her phone. "Grandpa's coming around."

Niall followed her example, grabbing his keys and phone and getting up.

"Call Zayn!" Niall told Claire as he hurried towards the exit.

"I'm trying," Claire replied with a frown, her phone already pressed to her ear. "His phone is still off."

Salma was gripped by a fear. Her already deeply rooted anxiety started sending her alarm signals. On impulse, she decided to join them. She grabbed her coffee and phone and hurried after them.

"Is there anyone around the apartment that can be contact to get him in case he's there?" Salma asked Claire as they hurried out of the café.

"What do you mean, in case?" Niall asked, pausing by Claire's car.

Salma's heart sank.

"I don't know! I'm just really worried! It's just not like him to go off radar like that," Salma explained.

Niall scoffed.

"It's actually very much like him," he muttered as he held the car door open for Salma. "I don't know who you're dating, but the Zayn I've known does disappear. Thing is, his disappearance means he's really upset. That is worrying."

"We can worry about that later!" Claire rushed them to get in the car. "I really need to get to grandpa right now!"

***

Salma stayed outside while Niall and Claire went in to see their grandfather. The blinds were pulled back. She watched through the window as the Claire approached the old man. She was barely holding her tears back.

"Hi grandpa," she said, grabbing his hand.

"Claire . . ." came the feeble whisper.

"It's me." Claire smiled. "I'm here. You're going to be alright."

"The fire –"

"It's all good!" Claire quickly reassured him. "We are all fine. We got out safely."

The old man glanced at Niall who had been standing at the foot of his bed.

"We are good. Just got some singed hair, honestly." Niall nodded, smiling. "Relax and focus on getting healthy again."

"Zayn. . ."

Salma felt her heart rate increasing, as she saw Niall and Claire exchange a glance.

"He was here for days so we sent him to get some rest," Niall quickly explained. "I'll call him to come around."

The old man's face contorted as if he was in pain. Salma could see evident dread and worry taking over him.

"Grandpa –"

"How long have I been out?" he asked. His words slightly slurred.

Niall and Claire exchanged another glance, a bit confused by his question.

"Five days, Grandpa," Claire replied.

As her words settled in, the panic that gripped the old man was terrifying to see. He became restless and started sweating profusely as his breathing became erratic.

"Grandpa!" Claire startled. "Grandpa—"

"Z-Zayn?!" the old man wheezed. "Where is Zayn?"

Niall rushed to Claire side as the two tried to calm the old man.

"He's on his way –"

"My boy!" he continued. "Bring me my b-boy? Where is Zayn? Where is m-my son?!"

The heart monitor started beeping. Salma's hands jumped to her mouth. Niall shot out of the room.

"Nurse!" he screamed. "Nurse!"

Everything became haphazard as the health staff rushed back in, paging the doctors and nurses on duty.

"Grandpa, he's fine," Claire tried to explain. "I'll call him right away!"

"Mr. Walter, please take it easy!" one of the nurse said as she approached him, grabbing the drip stand and pulling it closer.

"Zayn . . . My s-son!"

The doctors huddled around him. They were quietly exchanging urgent words as they tried to calm the panicked man.

"My boy . . !"

"Grandpa, calm down!" Claire said, barely holding her tears back. "He'll be here in a few minutes –"

"No! F-find him . . . Look after him. He's --"

The incessant beeping of the heart monitor cut him off. Salma could not help the tears streaming down her face.

"What's happening?!" Claire cried, panicking.

"Miss Anderson, we're going to need you to please move out of the room," one of the junior doctors asked Claire, while a nurse put an oxygen mask over the old man's mouth and nose.

The doctors move around more quickly, summoning two nurses. "He's hyperventilating and his heart is still too fragile! He can't take it!" the junior doctor, who had escorted Claire out of the room, said.

As Claire and Niall bombarded the medic with a thousand questions, Salma saw the doctors inside filling an injection with a sedative.

"Zayn . . .Find Z-Zayn!" he kept muttering

"He'll be here," one of the nurses said.

The nurse injected him with the sedative.

"T-Tell him . . . Tell him . . . " The old man wheezed.

"It's alright," the nurse said calmly. "It's going to alright. Take it easy. Just relax!"

"I'm sorry . . ."

His movements slowed down. His eyes starting to droop.

"My son. . ."

As he became limp, Claire broke down in Niall's arms, sobbing bitterly.

***

Salma watched the Cardiologist pat Claire's arm comfortingly. She nodded, than wiped her face dry and turned around. Salma could see her eyes sorting Niall out of the crowd, the moment she started walking back to the waiting area. Niall was in the corner, desperately trying to call Zayn. The two exchanged a look.

"No." Niall shook his head, looking disappointed and worried. "His phone is still off!"

Just then, a wheel chair rounded the corner carrying a heavily bandaged figure. Salma did not recognized him until he spoke up.

"Master Flintoff?"

Salma's eyebrows flew towards the heavens to realize this was Darren. Niall and Claire quickly turned to their longtime friend and Zayn's driver.

"Darren!" Niall exclaimed.

The two quickly approached him.

"How are you?!"

"I'm getting better. How's Master Walter doing?" he asked.

"He's . . ." Niall nodded, not sure what to say. "He'll be alright."

"Darren, have you seen Zayn?" Claire asked, desperate for some information about her brother.

"No Miss, I have not seen Master Harris," he replied.

Claire's face crumbled. She had obviously hoped Darren would know.

"Just where the hell is he?!" Claire cried angrily as she broke down again.

Niall, put a comforting arm around her as he explained to Darren that Zayn has been missing in action since the other night and that no one, they have contact, know where he is. Darren became visibly more worried and miserable.

"That's not good," he said softly.

Salma gave them her back, unable to see their pain and helplessness. She started walking away, thinking. She could not just stand there. She had to do something.

Where could he go? Where does Zayn go when he's upset?

As her steps quickened with purpose, she found herself getting frustrated that she knew so little about Zayn, about his habits and thought process. Finding herself in the lobby, Salma looked around, not sure what to do next, or where to begin. She tried calling Zayn and it did not work. She sent him a few texts and they were all unreceived. At a loss, Salma took a seat on one of benches in the reception area, desperately trying to calm down and find a way. She collected herself to think straight.

Where do people go when they are upset? Where would one go when the world comes crashing down on them? Who would they turn to, if people were not the company they sought?

Where would she go if it were her instead of Zayn?

Struck by a bolt, she stood up suddenly.

When Sarah was not an option, who did she turn to?

With a new sense of urgency, Salma started jogging towards the exit, pleading with Allah that she would find Zayn.

Author's Note:

Where do you think he is? Will he be too late?

Drop your guess and we'll see in the update how accurate they are ;)

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Lots of Love

J.