Chapter 86: "I Am Unknown"

Post your reactions as you read!

First Draft: February 15, 2022

Salma wiped the counters clean. Asim had helped with the dishes for dinner but despite her mother twisting his ears, which should have turned him into a rabbit by now, he was still a complete slob at heart. He was instructed to do the dishes, so he only did the dishes. In the slob's mind, the mess he left behind on the counters and the sink was not of his doing, and therefore not his business. As usual, an unsuspecting Salma had walked into the kitchen with squeaky clean dishes and leaky counters. The first thing that crossed her mind was to go up, and drag the frog down so he could finish his job properly, but then she was overtaken by a rare bout of mercy, and grabbed the wipe herself. Normally, when she was not so merciful, she would barge into his room to tell him off. He would ask her to right his wrongs. She would deny and let him know he was in for another scolding from their mother, and he would start pleading with her to do it in his stead. Then, she would end up getting emotionally blackmailed and clean up after his messy behind, saving him from a whooping. But today, she was extra kind. He did not even have to bother asking, or make pitiful faces, to avoid cleaning the counters.

"Useless, incompetent frog!" Salma grumbled as she cleaned the oily stains off the sink. "Imma tell mum on you one of these days."

Salma's phone beeped with a text. She stepped towards the table to peep who it was. Louisa's name flashed in the notifications bar.

"Give me a minute, Lou," Salma muttered to herself.

She walked back to the sink to squeeze the dirty water out of the wipe before washing it and wiping the counter once again.

Salma had met Louisa and Professor R.K when she visited Zayn's family at the hospital that day after her classes. Niall and Claire have been discharged after getting treated for their burns but it was Zayn's grandpa that was now seriously ill. The poor man's heart was weak and could not handle the shock of coming home to his grandchildren, only to see the house up in flames. Niall, Claire and Zayn had been staying with him to reassure him of their well-being but the trauma had done the damage. The doctors were preparing him for an operation. Frail and under the influence of drugs he had been spacing in and out of consciousness, not really sure if he was hallucinating his children around him, and mostly being partially faint.

R.K and Salma's parents had gone inside to see Zayn's Grandpa and Salma stayed behind in the waiting area with Louisa.

"Did you hear anything from Jason?" Salma asked.

Pouting, Louisa shook her head. Salma sighed.

"When did you last see him? "Salma asked. It bothered her that Jason had just disappeared and the Green Coats refused to share any information. She really missed the junior.

"Like a week after I joined the Free Float Academy," Louisa replied gloomily, recalling the date.

Salma calculated the timeline in her head and realized that Jason had met Louisa about ten days after his last meeting with her in the Green Coats HQ café.

"Where?" she asked urgently, a little upset that the junior had been around when Salma was desperately looking for him and he did not see it fit to see her? At least to bade her a proper goodbye, if nothing else.

"Home," Louisa replied. "It was almost midnight when he dropped by. He looked like he was in a haste. He was headed to the airport."

"Did he tell you where he was going?" Salma asked, feeling even more upset that Jason sneaked in to see Louisa, but not her.

Toughen up, princess! her subconscious scoffed. You aren't half as important or likable as you think.

"Yeah, Malaysia," Louisa replied. "He said he'd gotten accepted to one of their programs last minute so he had to hurry. I thought it was completely out of nowhere but knowing how much he loved Mantids, I figured he got a rare opportunity and would not miss it. I didn't think he would totally get out of touch, to be honest. I kinda miss him sometimes, which is annoying."

"I miss him too." Salma smiled ruefully, feeling bad for the younger girl. What she and Jason had was special. Salma wished it was only as simple as Jason chasing after Mantids in the Far east. Maybe then he would not have had to cut Louisa out of his life completely. In fact, they would have figured something out together.

"What about you?" Louisa turned to her. "Does he keep in touch? Asking about Mantids or something?"

"No," Salma replied gloomily.

Louisa frowned.

"That's suspicious," she muttered. "Don't you think? I mean, I figured he did not want to continue whatever we had because it did not make much sense after he left, to be fair, but he really loved you and looked up to you. I can't imagine him not staying in touch with you. You were family to him."

Salma felt her throat tightening. She swallowed the lump, forcing a smile.

"I just hope he's okay, where ever he is," she said quietly.

Just then, her parents had rounded the corner with Niall following on crutches. Salma noticed bandages covering his feet where he had gotten a few burns, but he was now able to walk a little. Salma got up to join them.

"I really hope you guys can persuade him to rest," Niall was saying. "He had been in the hospital for three days straight. First it was Claire and I, now it's his Grandpa. I am really worried for him."

Salma figured they were talking about Zayn when her parents promised Niall they would talk to him. However, when they ran into Zayn not long after, and asked him to leave and rest, he refused and insisted that he was fine.

"Son, you really need to take care of yourself," Aliya repeated. "You need a break. Go home. Take a shower. Have some rest."

Zayn did not say anything. He just had this exhausted frown on his forehead that said he agreed with what she was saying but he would not be able to rest till he was sure his grandpa was stable.

"Niall and Claire are staying with him," Salma said gently. "He'll be okay."

Zayn heaved a sigh. In the end, he promised he would go home that night, only after he meets with the Cardiologist and gets a confirmation that his grandpa's condition was stabilizing.

***

First draft: June 2018

By the time Salma finished cleaning the kitchen, it had started raining outside. With her parents visiting Aunt Farhiya and Fahad, she and Asim were alone that night - under the watchful eyes of a couple dozen Green Coats, no less. Salma was texting James, updating him about Zayn's family accidents, when Zayn called.

Feeling her heart drop, Salma quickly picked it up.

"Hey!"

"Hi Bee," Zayn replied.

Salma held her breath. Her heart drummed at a crazy pace.

"Is everything alright?" Salma asked after a while when he did not say anything. "How's your grandpa doing?"

"Yeah, yeah, thank God, everything's good. He's getting better," Zayn replied. "It's - can I come see you, please?"

Salma felt her heart stab. There was a pleading edge to his tone. He sounded devastated with everything going on.

"Yeah," she replied. "Yeah, sure."

"Alright, see you in a bit," Zayn said quietly. "Bye."

"Bye." Salma hung up, casually checking the time. It was kinda late . . .

The placement of the arms of the clock caused her brains to slap right back in place. She had not considered the time, or the fact that her parents were not around.

"Oh no!" She smacked her forehead, quickly grabbing her phone again. "Oh no, no, no!"

Salma waited for James to pick up.

"A quick reply would have --"

"Zayn's coming!" Salma cut him mid-sentence.

There was a brief pause.

"Err, what--"

"He's coming! At our place! Like, right now!"

Another confused paused followed.

"Are you guys fighting?"

"No!"

"Did he threaten you?"

"Wh-- NO!"

"Do you feel unsafe --"

"It's --"

"I don't see why your boyfriend dropping by your place is an issue," James continued, "but I assume the time is--"

"Yes!" Salma cried, holding her head. "He sounded super upset and I just agreed for him to see me without realizing how late this was! It's almost midnight! And my parents aren't home!"

"First, it's not midnight, there's still an hour --"

"But--"

"Second," James pressed. "Breath in. . .Breath out. Come on, follow me, breath in . . . Breath out. Breath in --"

Salma sighed.

"I'm good, can you please proceed to the step past the breathing exercise?" she asked.

"No, because I'm still thinking about that step. I'm not sure what is it, exactly --"

"Seriously?" Salma snapped.

"Not really? Like I know I should offer to come over but I'm really warm in this new comforter I bought."

"You're useless!" Salma pinched the bridge of her nose. "I didn't want you to come! I wanted you to give me good way out of this pinch."

"Then I'll give it to you straight," James replied calmly. "You're not two, Sally. You're a grown woman and he's supposed to be your significant other. It's alright to see him at inconvenient times."

Caught off guard by the sudden shift from lame jokes to serious pep-talk, Salma stayed quiet, saying nothing.

"There is no need to panic," James continued. "I understand you like doing things a certain way, keeping your traditions and religion in view, but he's yours now, as you are his. You're supposed to move in with him one of these days. If you can't trust him, or yourself, to be mature and reasonable, under your own roof . . . I don't know what to say, seriously."

Salma swallowed, feeling deeply ashamed. What he said was right, but . . .

"Sally?" James said after a while. Salma could almost imagine him frowning. "You there? Wait - Did you even hear what I --"

"I did," Salma replied, still feeling embarrassed.

"Man . . ." James sighed. "I almost reached for my jacket and keys. Don't go mute on me like that."

Salma released a breath.

"Do you trust him, James?" she asked out of blue.

"Don't you?" he turned the question on her.

"I do, and I don't, but don't play the UNO reverse card with me. I'm asking you," Salma said.

'Well," James replied. "I've learned to trust him to do one thing right. Protect and treat the people he loves, with love. He's an asshat, but he hasn't failed at this yet. Not that I've heard of him doing so."

Salma chewed on her lower lip, thinking. It really was strange that she taking counsel from James of all the people.

"Listen, if you're uncomfortable, just tell him," James said, as if he had sensed her dilemma. "Don't push yourself into doing anything. He'll understand."

"You just told me I shouldn't act like a two year old," Salma returned.

"Hey, I'll say anything. It doesn't mean it's the law!" James defended. "You set the boundaries and make the laws. I'm not you. How am I supposed to know what works and what doesn't. It's not normal for you to panic over this but if you think it's not right, tell him --"

A gentle knock on the door made Salma turn towards it.

"Yeah, too late for that," Salma told James. "Thanks for the help, James. Talk to you soon."

Not waiting for his response - probably something snarky - Salma hung up the call and hurried towards the door, her heart racing. She peeped through the peep-hole. It was Zayn. He looked like he sounded. Absolutely shattered.

Salma opened the door quickly.

Zayn met her gaze. Salma's heart stabbed at the sight of him. He looked pale and disheveled. The bags under his eyes seemed darker than when she had visit him at the hospital earlier today. The lack of proper rest and food was now becoming more pronounced and prominent.

Zayn tilted his head at her in amusement.

"Assalamo'Alaykom," he said, smiling weakly.

Salma quickly looked away, feeling her cheeks burn with embarrassment.

"Wa'alaikom Assalam," she replied, stepping out and raising her arms for a hug. "You look like you haven't eaten or rested since our date."

Zayn gladly accepted her hug, enveloping her in his arms and burying his face in her hair.

"I'll be fine," he muttered, letting her warmth and scent sooth his exhausted mind and body. "You smell nice."

Salma smiled. She rested her head against his, saying nothing. He was tired and anguished, and obviously looking for comfort. If holding her in an embrace was going to provide him with some solace, she was going to hug him till his heart's content, or till he realized he was hungry, or sleepy.

Zayn pulled back after a while. He tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear, tenderly holding her face in his hands.

"Thank you," he whispered, kissing her forehead.

Salma grabbed his hands.

"Come on in," she motioned with her head behind him, before leading the way in.

Zayn followed after her. Salma saw him scanning the semi-lit sitting room from the foyer as she shut the door behind them.

"Did your mum and dad go to sleep?" Zayn asked softly, sinking to the floor to remove his shoes.

"No," Salma replied. "They're out tonight."

Zayn paused halfway through removing one shoe and turned to her.

"Is this alright with you?" he asked, looking concerned. "I can --"

"It's alright," Salma reassured him. James was right. She was not two, and if she could not trust him, or herself, she might as well stop the whole thing. "Besides, Asim's here."

"Oh." Zayn glanced at the roof above then turned back to his shoes without a word. Salma, however, noticed his shoulders relaxing.

"Also, Spogmae has your room," Salma added in the passing.

"I don't know if I should be scared or relieved," Zayn replied, standing up.

"You can figure that out later," Salma said, walking towards the kitchen. "Come on. I'll fix you something to eat."

Zayn followed.

"Thanks Bee," he muttered, leaning against the counter.

"Don't mention it," Salma replied. She got busy taking out the leftovers from her dinner and started heating the rice and beef sauce. "How's grandpa doing?"

Zayn released a breath.

"He's getting better," he replied. "The doctor feared he might need an open heart surgery, but I think the tests came out better than expected."

"That's good to hear."

She had just poured out some of the salad when Spogmae walked into the kitchen, looking groggy.

"Assalamo'Alaykom," she greeted Zayn on her way towards the sink. She filled up her jug of water and turned to Salma. "He's here."

"Mhmm." Salma blinked.

"Hm," the Green Coat struggled to keep her eyes open. "Just scream when you need me."

Salma and Zayn exchanged a glance.

"Yes Ma'am." Salma nodded.

"Good." The Green Coat stifled a yawn and walked out.

The two exchanged another look, then shrugging, both went back to what they were doing earlier.

***

After dinner, Zayn was aimlessly scrolling through his phone when he suddenly he straightened up. Salma, who was seated next to him on the couch, turned to ask him if anything was wrong when a feminine voice cut her.

"Hi Zayn!" the woman gushed. "Hey sweetheart! Happy to see me? . . . Gosh! My baby, I love you so much!"

Salma's heart picked up pace, as she sat next to him, frozen to her spot. She heard the woman sniff, letting her know she was crying.

"I know that if you're watching this, it means . . . it means we're not there with you anymore," the woman's voice cracked,

Salma's heart skips a beat. She looked at Zayn; sitting transfixed, frozen into the spot his wide eyes glued onto the screen of his phone. Salma closed her eyes dreading what was to come.

"Grandma?"

Salma heard Zayn's shocked whisper; confusion and anguish clear in his tone as he watched his beloved grandmother crying on the screen of her phone.

"You watching this tape mean, me and Steve are - that we are . . ."

A man appeared next to Zayn's dear Grandma. A younger version of Steven Walter. He put a comforting arm around his crying wife.

"Hi son," Steven Walter attempted a smile into the camera. "Sorry, it's a little hard for us."

"What's going on?" Zayn cried, looking panicked. "What is--"

"It just scares me to know, one day, the two of us would have left you alone," his grandma said in a choked whisper, silencing Zayn once more. "But I hope you would have found a nice girl by then, had load of babies . . . beautiful, little version of you and your Queen."

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Salma felt her face grow hot.

"I hope they aren't as naughty," his grandpa joked, which made his wife chuckle through her tears.

"I hope I see them," she said.

Salma glanced at Zayn as he watched his grandparents with tears in his eyes. He clearly had no idea what was going on. The small merry moment was followed by a grave silence. The two become serious as the recording continued. Salma could feel their tension seeping into her bones. Her skin crawled knowing what was to come.

"I hope you have them around you when you watch this, son," his grandma began. "I wish we could have told you this now, but honestly I can't afford to --"

She bit her tongue, looking away. Her face crumbled again.

"Just know that I love you son," she cried. "I've loved you every second of every day."

Zayn's features reflected the pain he felt.

"Zayn, we . . . your grandma and I are – we are not related to you, biologically."

All color drained off of Zayn's face. A strangled gasp escaped his lips. He's stared at the screen of his phone, shocked and hurt. Salma held her breath.

"What're you --"

"You are not our daughter's child," his grandfather continued. "You were adopted."

There was pause. The tense silence seemed to painfully press into Salma's ears. She felt her inside ache with anxiety. Zayn looked like someone whose heart has been ripped out of his chest. He was just looking at his grandparents, shell shocked.

"I had a friend in the police force," the younger Steven Walter began. "He rescued you and ten other kids after a massive crackdown against a group of human traffickers. They used to smuggle kids to the middle east for a cruel, underground camel race network. They used to target young kids, toddlers. The louder the kids scream, the faster the camel runs."

Zayn's grandfather paused, looking horrified and disgusted.

"You were not the youngest, but you were very small, only a year and a half."

"Just a baby." His grandma sniffed. "My beautiful, little boy."

"After the criminals were rounded up," his grandfather continued, "The police found a kidnapping report filed for every kid, and they were reunited with their parents, except one." He took a breath. "You had no report filed. No one came forth to claim you as their child. They were going to put you in the foster system, until some other, better arrangements could be made, when that night, me and your grandma visited the police station for some business."

"And I saw you," his grandma gushed affectionately, "And you were just the sweetest little boy."

Zayn's grandfather chuckled at her.

"You had the most previous smile, the most perfect little ways, and your eyes," she cooed, "I'd never seen so much innocence and emotions in one's eyes and you were so little . . ."

She sniffed, wiping her eyes.

"You looked just like her," she whispered. "Just like my little girl. You had her hair, her chubbiness, and you even had her voice. The day I saw you, I just knew . . . I had to have you in my arms every night when I put you to sleep."

Zayn bit his lips, blinking back tears. He let out a breath, rubbing his temples. He was so overwhelmed, his heart was in so much pain.

"His name is Zayn Harris, my friend told us," Grandpa said. "And that you were British. That's all they were able to find out about you from the lead kidnapper before he died from his bullet wounds in the hospital the night before."

"We took you in," his grandpa continued. "Guilty conscience or love – maybe both, we took you home. You look so much like our daughter – our only child whom –"

His grandpa's voice cracked.

"Whom we had turned out." He choked out. "We had closed doors on her . . . because she was dating someone we did not approve of. We were blinded by our prejudices, by our narrow view of skins colors, and races, of religions and customs, so much so that we lost our daughter."

He sniffed, taking a moment to compose himself.

"As the time went by, we realized what we'd done, but it was too late." He sighed miserably. "She had gone. With that man, some where we didn't know. And we could not forgive ourselves for what we'd done to our own child, our own blood . . . and then we saw you, so like her . . ."

"It was like you were our own boy, my little girl's boy," his grandma said.

"Over time, we'd gotten so used to the idea that we convinced ourselves you were who we pretended you to be – our grandson."

"By the time you grew up," his grandma continued. "And started asking questions why you had a different name, and where your parents were, every official paper and every one around you already knew you as our grandson. We knew we'd have to tell you one day, but we kept delaying it."

"Until your seventh birthday," his grandpa said, "And you blew the candles, and you said you wanted to wish you would get to see your parents, and then you saw us beside you and that you changed your mind . . ."

"You hugged me, and you hugged Steve," His grand wept. "My sweet little boy you – you told us you chose to ask for a baby sister like Tony did, because – because although Tony had parents, you had grandma and grandpa, and Tony didn't."

"We lost heart again. We thought we'd tell you when you were older," Grandpa Walter cried, removing his glasses to wipe his eyes dry. "But it's been seven years now. You have had your fourteenth birthday yesterday. We . . . We've realized we can't tell you, Zayn. Not face to face, not when we're alive and see you looking at us as strangers . . . we can't bear that, son."

"But we know you deserve to know the truth . . ." His grandma cried. "Please sweetheart, I know you'd hurt when you find out, but if you, somehow, somewhere find it in your heart to forgive us." She wept. "Forgive us for being selfish, for lying, for keeping the truth from you but we love you. We love you so much. We love you, always."

Zayn sat shocked to a still, staring at the screen, long after the picture had frozen and the recording ended. Salma was perched at the edge of the couch, scared. She bit her lip hard, trying to stay collected for him.

"Zayn . . ."

He turned away, his expressions tortured. She saw him close his eyes in pain. Salma's heart clenched to see him so tormented. She reached out and put a comforting hand on his back. He was trying to keep it all in, but it was too much to contain. Zayn placed his head in the crook of his arm. Salma felt his shoulders shaking. He was crying.

Author's Note:

Poor Zayn 😭. He can't catch a break! How do you reckon he would react after this new revelation?

Thank you so much for your well-wishes and duas on the previous chapter. I'm pushing through and Insha'Allah, it'll work out ☺️. Love y'all for your support. May Allah smile upon each and every one of you. Ameen.

Vote, comment and share!

Drop by my Patreon to support the journey.

Lots of love

J.