Chapter 65: "In-Tense"

Assalamo'Alaikom Losties! Enjoy the comeback ^_^

Don't forget to post your reactions as you read!

First draft: October 28, 2021

"My lungs might collapse if you squeeze anymore," she said, her voice strained.

"What? Oh, sorry!" Zayn quickly loosened his arms around her.

Salma sank to her feet, heaving a huge gulp of breath.

"You alright?" Zayn asked, feeling bad to see her massaging her ribs.

"Yeah," Salma replied with a tired smile. "Just give me a sec."

Zayn rubbed her back, a bit confused. He was sure he had not squeezed her into a hug that hard. Yes, he wanted to, but he did not want to make her feel uncomfortable by appearing like he had no self-control. Perhaps he did not realize he was actually acting on his impulse, not just imagining it, but doing it.

Salma exhaled a breath. Zayn turned to her, worriedly.

"I'm fine," she reassured. "Come on, I'm not that fragile!"

"Good to know." Zayn smiled. "I thought I broke something in there."

Salma smiled and rolled her eyes. Zayn chuckled, circling his arms around her, loosely this time.

"So? Hungry?" he asked.

"Umm, not really," Salma replied, "but I'll join you if you fancy a bite."

"No, I think I'm good too. In fact, I don't think I'll want anything for a quite some time," he said.

Salma frowned playfully. She tilted her head, confused by his weird reply.

"See, my needs are simple and wants few –"

"Oh come on!" Salma threw her head back in protest, catching his drift.

Zayn tightened his arms around her waist to keep her steady, laughing at her embarrassment.

"I really feel quite fulfilled now that I have you," Zayn continued teasing.

"Why?" Salma wailed dramatically.

"I only want you, that's why?"

He saw her turn beetroot before she quickly turned back towards him to hide her face in his shirt.

"No, why do you have to say things like that?" she complained.

"Because I love it when you blush like that," Zayn replied, chuckling.

Salma jerked her head away from his chest.

"I'm not," she said, forcing herself to look into his eyes. "I don't blush."

"No?" Zayn smiled. "Then why do you look like my tomato Bee."

More blood crept to her cheeks.

"I don't," she denied uselessly.

"Aww, Bee," Zayn cooed. "Does it make you feel uncomfortable?"

"Yes," she said firmly. "And so you can't say things like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like . . ." she paused, then turned to him with her brow furrowed. "You know what I mean."

"No, I don't." Zayn shrugged.

"Of course you do, you're thinking it," Salma said crossly. "You can't just say everything you're thinking about me."

"What? I'm just thinking I want to pinch you cheeks because you're so cute. I can't say that?"

"No, you – what?" Salma asked, getting side-tracked.

"May I?"

Zayn raised his index and thumb close to her face, blinking with much innocence.

"No." Salma pulled away from his fingers.

Zayn faked a pout.

"So you get to look like a Tomato Bee but --"

"I don't," Salma mumbled, blushing yet again.

"And you also get to lie to me?" Zayn laughed.

Salma glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. Something about that laugh did not sit well with her. It did not sound like he was amused.

"Alright then," they said in unison.

They froze in what they were doing. While Zayn was stepping away from her in a resigned manner, Salma had pushed her face towards his hand.

Zayn's eyebrows raised again.

"You may." Salma rolled her eyes. "Stop pouting."

"Ah, I see." Zayn smirked as he grabbed her overly heated cheek gently. "So pouting works?"

"No, it doesn't – if you pinch too hard I'm going to pinch your cheeks," she warned, eyeing his hands distrustfully.

Zayn chuckled as he eyed Salma's threatening fingers near his face.

"And why would you do that?" he asked, stroking her face with the pad of his thumb, relishing at how she turned even redder with each touch.

"Why – why can't I do it?" she asked, struggling with her words, and maintaining eye contact.

"I did it because I think you look cute," Zayn replied. "Should I assume you think the same of me if you want to pinch my cheeks?"

Salma stilled.

"That's just you putting words in my mouth!" she returned, pushing Zayn's hand away to stop its harmless assault against her cheek. Zayn laughed. He noticed her shivering a little.

"You cold?" he asked.

"Yes," Salma replied before continuing. "And I was saying if you hurt my face, I'll hurt yours."

Draping his arms around her shoulders, he led her towards the rugs.

"Hurt?" Zayn asked, smiling as he felt her snuggling close to him for warmth. Perhaps the cold and fear theory was not so wrong, after all. "Alright then, if you are scared I'll hurt your cheeks, I won't use my fingers to pinch them next time I find you too cute to resist."

Salma halted next to the rug closest to the fire. She eyed him with confusion.

"What will you do?"

Zayn leaned in towards her ear.

"I'll pinch them with my lips," he whispered.

Turning completely red, Salma froze for a few seconds before she snapped and rioted, pushing Zayn away from her. He crashed on the rug, laughing his butt off.

***

Salma glanced at Zayn out of the corner of her eye again. He seemed relaxed, completely peaceful and at ease.

The two had had their sandwiches, and a fruit salad – both of which Zayn claimed to have made himself – and now were doing nothing; just swinging in the chair in a semi-lit clearing in the forest, with Zayn's arms around her as they stared at the twinkling marvel that was the clear, night sky above the woods.

Salma turned to fidgeting with the bracelet she was wearing. She did not know how to breech the subject she was fretting about.

"I didn't think you'd have eyes for anything but the sky." Zayn smiled when she threw another sneaky glance at him.

"I was just – you look really good today," Salma said.

Zayn's smile broadened.

"Thank you." He kissed her hair. "Now tell me what's troubling you?"

Salma's heart sank. Her fidgeting became more intense.

"Nothing," she muttered.

"You know you can't lie to me, your highness. You're horrible at it," he said quietly.

"I'm not --"

"Yes, you are --"

"-- your highness," Salma finished. "You can't call me that."

Zayn turned to her, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Why? What's wrong with 'your highness'?" he asked, then quickly clarified. "The title, not you."

Salma looked away, unsure how to explain. This royalty thing was getting to her. If she kept reprimanding people for it, they would think something was wrong with her. If she let it be and kept it casual, she could get in trouble if the wrong people heard her being addressed as such.

"I just don't like it," she said, avoiding eye contact. "It's a . . . it's offensive for us. My family."

Zayn's eyebrow shot to the heavens.

As expected! Salma closed her eyes. Why can't things be easy for her?

There was a pause. She had a feeling Zayn was waiting for her explain, but Salma was not sure if she should ruin the night they had had by discussing something so grim and dark? She hated to admit it but she was also weary of his reaction. He was bound to feel lied to when she finally tells him about her political ancestry and she did not know how long she could keep him in the dark about it.

"You know." She heard Zayn exhale as he turned away from her. "You have a lot of rules."

"I do." Salma sighed, nodding.

"And that makes you a very difficult person."

"I am." She shrugged miserably. What was there to hide? "About time you reconsider wasting your life around me."

Zayn laughed. Salma gave him a disbelieving side glance.

"I'm serious," she said.

"And that's exactly why it's funny," Zayn replied with a snort. "You're still trying to get rid of me."

"I'm not, Zayn," Salma said, sounding tired that he had to interpret her words that way.

"Either way, you should know, I'm way past the 'reconsidering' option," Zayn continued.

"Okay," Salma agreed, grabbing one of his hands in both of her. "I hope you don't get driven up the wall by the 'difficult' person, then."

Zayn smiled, holding her hand back.

"She won't. I --" he cut off, raising Salma's hand up towards the light to see better. "Is that . . ?"

Salma smiled as he inspected the quote bracelet with a single pearl, around her wrist.

"It is," Salma confirmed.

Salma watched as a million emotions swam through Zayn's eyes as he stared at the bracelet. It made her feel a bit uncomfortable. Like she was spying on a moment she was not supposed to witness. Salma looked away when Zayn started blinking rapidly. She was not sure how to react when he caught her off guard by pulling her into a hug. Salma froze in his grip. This was not just a hug, this was a tight hold, like he was holding onto her to prevent himself from breaking. Salma felt clueless. She did not get why it touched him so much that she was wearing that bracelet. It was ages ago when he had given it to her. She could not understand what was going on.

Unsure, she reached for his back with her hands, hugging him back.

"Zayn, are you okay?" she ask tentatively.

He did not reply, so Salma let him be. She let him hold her. After a while, he loosened his grip. Salma waited.

"Thank you," came a whisper from somewhere between folds of her scarf.

Salma nodded in reply. A moment later, he pulled away from her. Salma glanced at his face. His downcast eyes were fixed on her wrist. The lone pearl of the bracelet was peeking from underneath the sleeve of her abaya. Zayn slipped a finger under the band of metal.

"This was my grandma's," he said after a while. "Grandpa and she used to wear matching ones."

He stroke the pearl with his thumb.

"She told me give this to the first person I truly loved because that would be the one meant for me, whether or not we ended up together." He smiled fondly.

Salma felt her heart flutter and goose-bumps spread all over her body.

"Turns out she was right." Zayn turned to her. The look in his eyes made Salma's heart skip a few beats.

"Thank you for keeping it," he whispered. "I thought you would have chucked it away."

Salma forced a smile, avoiding eye contact. She suddenly felt their seating arrangement was not very convenient for putting some distance between them and making it appear casual and unintentional. He was too close.

His fingertips caressed her jawline, making her shudder.

"Don't worry Bee," Zayn said softly. "Even if I'm dying to right now, I won't do it."

Salma's breath stuck in her throat and her cheeks heated up.

Zayn pulled his hand away and chuckled.

"I didn't even say 'kiss' and you still turned into a tomato."

"I didn't!" she squeaked.

Zayn sat back, laughing.

"Aw, Bee! Can I pinch you cheeks with my lips?"

"Stop!" Salma put an arm over her face.

Zayn chuckled, hugging her close. Salma removed her arm from her face to let him peck her cheek.

"Thank you, your high – honeyness! I was going to say honeyness!" he quickly corrected.

"Of course you were." Salma rolled her eyes. "You're also a very difficult person."

"I know," Zayn replied. "I'm not going to blame you if you reconsider wasting your life with me."

Salma snorted, feeling the dread return. And so did the tension, and the knot in her stomach. She sat up straighter. Zayn removed his arms, making her heart sink. She felt even less compelled to ruin the night compared to just a few minutes ago. Salma figured the longer she waited, the harder it would be.

"I am reconsidering," Salma said quietly. "I'm not sure what to expect of you."

Zayn stiffened beside her. He sat up too. The look on his face told her she had him terrified of what was to come.

"What are you talking about, Bee?"

Salma swallowed. The lump in her throat kept becoming bigger and bigger.

"We're not going to last, Zayn," she uttered the dreadful words. "It's not going to work."

Salma bit her quivering lip when Zayn searched her eyes, shocked, confused and hurt.

"Bee? I . . ."

Salma drew in a shaky breath, trying to keep it together.

"All I'm asking is, when it comes to it, because it will, you will keep your life and safety above everything else, and leave." Salma said.

Zayn frowned, clearly unable to grasp her words.

"What?" he breathed the word.

Her fingers had started shaking. She blinked back tears.

"Promise me!" Salma forced the words past the lump in her throat. "Promise me, you'd save yourself and not look back if – when –"

"Bee –"

"No, let me finish --"

"Relax." He reached for her trembling hand. "It's over. After that Ghamey guy was arrested, your side won. They're not going to --"

"It's not!" Salma grabbed his hand, shaking her head. "It's not. You don't know the truth, Zayn. It's never over. We're all destine to be murdered –"

"Bee?!" Zayn cried.

"I know it's scary, but it's the truth!" Salma squeezed his hand. "None of my family has died a normal death, Zayn, and neither would I!"

Zayn just watched her wide-eyed. Salma figured he thought she was going crazy but she had to let him know there was no escape for her.

"Either I win, or I die, Zayn!" she whispered. His ashened expression blurred by her tears. Salma blinked them away. "I don't want you getting hurt. I want you safe! Please! Just promise me that you'd --"

"Book my ass out and leave you for dead?" Zayn said quietly.

Salma took in a few shaky breaths, knowing her reply would hurt him but she had to deliver the blow.

"Yes," she confirmed.

Zayn pulled his hand out of her grasp. Salma's heart stabbed to see the look on his face, but she had to. She had no choice.

"You think so low of me," he whispered.

"Zayn --"

"That when the person I love the most, the person I'm looking forward to becoming my family, needs me, I act like a coward?"

"It's not about cowardice or bravery! It's about not getting killed by bullets not meant for you!" Salma argued angrily, openly crying now. "You have your whole life ahead of you! You have a family, friends and a solid career, millions of people that adore you! If you would please protect that, I'd be able to breathe a little easier."

Zayn's eyes flitted between hers, still tortured and hurt.

"So it's about you," he whispered. "It's just always about you with us."

Salma fought hard against the tightening of her throat.

"Yes," she said firmly. "It's always about me. You love a selfish person."

"Selfish." Zayn laughed bitterly, shaking his head. "So how would this selfish person like it, if the tables were turned? Would you be able to live that life that I'd ask you to protect, love your family, spend time with friends and work that career if you were to walk away from me at the first signs of trouble?"

Salma's resolve crumbled.

"Please?" she cried, a tear slipping down her cheek again.

"Don't ask me something you can't even bear to imagine," Zayn said.

"You don't understand –"

"Then help me understand!" Zayn interrupted.

Salma closed her eyes, unable to meet his anguished expressions and frustrated gaze. Should she tell him? Should she trust him with something so dangerous? Salma opened her eyes to see him still looking at her. Should she dare test him with a weapon so lethal against her . . . and himself?

Salma sniffed, looking away.

"Understanding where I'm coming from would already mean you'll have a target on your back, whether or not you stand with me," Salma said.

"What does that mean?"

Salma turned to look him squarely in his eyes.

"If you betray me, those you betray me for, can't even hide you in a grave against those who are fighting by me. You will be made to pay."

Zayn blinked.

"What?" He laughed sarcastically, and when Salma did not flinch, "Bee? You're serious? – what do you --?"

"I hope you understand what you're asking to know," Salma said. "I won't burden you with the knowledge if you don't want it. It is, in every sense, a gun to your head."

Salma noticed his eyes flitting from one of hers to the other. At least he was seriously considering her warning.

"Tell me," he said, "is the gun being held to your head as we speak?"

Salma tried to assess where he was going with it but he betrayed not emotions.

"Yes," she answered.

"And so long as the situation is like this," he said, "will you insist on me keeping a safe distance? You know, in any events of the gun being set to fire?"

"Yes," Salma confirmed.

"Then it doesn't really improve my prospects of living, does it?" Zayn smiled ruefully. "This is something your father explained when he proposed we get married. What's new?"

"The gun," Salma began, "will be held by my people to your head." She spelled it out for him. "That's new."

"So two guns then." Zayn shrugged. "One is enough for a man to die."

"Two are harder to dodge," Salma pointed out.

"I'd take as many as the girl I love," he said.

Salma's teeth sunk deep into the softer tissues of her cheeks to prevent the sob from escaping. She closed her eyes and forced herself to swallow the tears.

Prove her wrong, Zayn! She prayed. Prove us all wrong when I test you with my trust!

"I'm the eldest grand-daughter of murdered Grand Chief Sulaiman, and the last Guardian of the Zamarud, Grand lady Nimrah," Salma whispered into what felt like a sudden vacuum. The woods were gone. The dancing lights were gone. The fireflies and the stars, the warmth of the fire and the swing of the chair, everything was gone. There was just her and the deepest, darkest secret she had shared, and Zayn. "I'm the niece of Sthooriya first fighter pilot, the murdered son of Grand Chief Sulaiman, Hurayra. I'm in essence the leader and the governing entity of my people, should the premier they elected, die during his tenure. I'm a Zamarud Zai from the Oocath tribe. We are marked on birth, hunted through-out our life, and killed when we don't comply. The previous Guardian of the Zamarud, my grand nominated me. You Zayn,"

Salma opened her eyes to see a thunderstruck Zayn gaping at her, wide-eyed.

"You married the current Guardian of the Zamarud of Sthooriya."

Author's Note:

Annnnd, it's a cliffhanger! X'D

So, long time, no see! How's everyone doing? ^^ especially after this cliffhanger :P. I was thinking of a double update but with 'Eid and family obligations and all, I could not work it out. Also, it's kinda fun to see you hanging down this cliff X'D (sorry, lol, I'm just kidding!)

Vote, comment and share!

Also, drop by my Patreon where we're nearing the end. It's getting kinda emotional T_T

Lots of Love

J.