Chapter 51: "Bumpy Ride"

All onboard the Lostie ship! Post your reactions as you read.

First draft: July 2018

After overcoming the initial shock, Salma felt Zayn respond. First slowly and unsure as he brought his arms around her frame, and then with passion as his grip tightened. A ripple of emotions burst out of her heart and spread over her body, leaving goosebumps in its wake. Salma felt her feet leave the ground when Zayn picked her up. She swallowed, trying to ease her nerves. Her heart was hammering against her chest at a mad pace. She felt Zayn nuzzling into her neck, his scruff lightly grazing against her skin through the fabric of her scarf. Her muscles tensed. Although she tried to relax into this embrace, all of this was still foreign to her. The way her skin tingled and her heart fluttered, Salma did not know how to take it. She could feel her eyes stinging and she did not even know why.

When even after a while, Zayn did not seem to want to let go, Salma loosened her arms around his neck. Her fingers ached. She had no idea she had been holding onto him so tight.

"Okay." She cleared her throat. "You can put me down now."

She felt Zayn's arms tightening even more as a quiet laughter rumbled through his chest.

"Don't want to." He smiled against her neck.

The emotions exploding over her, made her shiver. Salma could feel her breathing become erratic. She became restless in his embrace.

"Relax." Zayn laughed quietly. "I was kidding."

He gave her one last squeeze but then let her go all the same.

The moment, her feet found the ground, Salma pulled out of his arms. She avoided his gaze as her unruly emotions suddenly slammed over her. She tried to make a run for it. Realizing what she had in mind, Zayn's hand shot of out nowhere and grabbed her arm.

"Please . . ." he whispered, eyeing her with concern for her sudden change in mood, "not a second time. Tell me what you're thinking."

Salma tried to force the lump down. She looked away, blinking rapidly and taking deep breaths. She would not break down in front of him. She would not. She --

"If this is some sort of a revenge, Bee, I can't take –"

"Oh God, no!" Salma cried, holding his hand back.

"Then what was this?"

Salma chewed on her lips, desperately trying to calm down.

"I don't know," she cried, taking deep gulps of breath. "I don't know and it scares me!"

Zayn realized she was panicking. He grabbed her by the shoulders and led her away from the janitor's closet. Blinded by her tears, Salma followed his lead, realizing he had led her towards one of the couches on display only when she was sitting on it.

"Shhh! Calm down, yeah," Zayn reassured her, kneeling in front of her. "It's okay to not know. It's alright. Take deep breaths."

Salma did as she was told, taking a minute to collect herself. What was going on with her? Why was she suddenly freaking out? She felt Zayn squeeze her hands gently. She looked into his eyes. His expressions were full of concern. A calming smile stretched on his lips. Salma felt her throat clogging up again. She looked away and took a deep shaky breath.

"Do you still feel pressured?" Zayn asked, sounding worried.

"I don't know how to put it into words!" Salma replied, exasperated. "If I knew I'd have said them. I . . . I just wanted to hug you so I did."

Wiping away at her tears, Salma glanced at Zayn when he did not say anything. She saw him biting his lower lip, desperately trying to keep a straight face.

"Don't laugh at me!" Salma snapped.

"I'm not, I'm really not, I'm just –" Zayn tried to control his laughter. "I'm happy. I've been waiting since forever to --"

"Waiting since forever to laugh at my face?" Salma cried incredulously, feeling her eyes well up again. She swatted his hands away when he reached out for her. "You're such a jerk!"

"No! I've been waiting since forever to feel this happy!" Zayn explained. Salma eyed him distrustfully. "To have you come to me, willingly, happily. I still can't believe you let me hold you, Bee, like . . ."

A blush crept up to her cheeks. Pouting adorably, Salma wiped her eyes dry, avoiding his gaze, all the same.

"Awh, Bee!" Zayn chuckled. Pulling her into a gentle embrace, he rubbed her back soothingly, "You sure have your cute moments."

He felt a light hit to his ribs, making him laugh.

***

Luckily for Salma, by the time her mother and Anne dropped by the food court, she had calmed down significantly, especially because Zayn was decent distance away from her. Salma tried to send him on his way but he refused.

"I'm hungry, you go away."

Salma pursed her lips, trying to keep her temper under control. He had been saying that for the past fifteen minutes, and every time Salma switched tables, Zayn followed.

"You will end up with your face slammed into your food!" She hissed. "Don't make me!"

Zayn chortled, not bothered.

"What did the food ever do to you?"

"Zayn!"

"I'm just saying, why're you trying to get rid of me?"

"Because my mum and Anne are around and I don't --"

"Why is that a problem?"

"Because it is!" Salma replied. "When I left them, I intended to have some quality time with food. You are intruding our privacy. I don't want to be asked unnecessary questions!"

"Like why did you sneak out on a date with me without telling them?"

Salma clenched her fist.

"Yes!" She snarled, not bothering to correct him that she did not sneak out with him. He was accompanying her, uninvited.

"Should they even be asking?" Zayn quirked his brow, getting serious for an instant.

"I live under their roof and so I'd be going by their rules," Salma said simply. "You should disappear --"

"Mhmm, a bit late for that." Zayn smiled, casually taking a sip of his drink, his gaze fixed on a spot behind her.

"Oh dear God," Salma groaned, putting her head on the table.

"Salma! – Oh, hi . . . Zayn?" she heard her mother, sounding surprised.

"Assalamo'Alaykum," Zayn got to his feet, smiling brightly at the ladies.

"Oh, yes, Wa'Alykum Assalam, Sorry I keep forgetting you --"

"No problem, Alley."

"How are you?" Anne asked. "Salma didn't tell us you'd be here."

"I'm fi-"

"Because Salma didn't know he'd be here!" Salma interjected hotly.

"Oh yeah . . . my apologies." Zayn faked a sorry expression. "She was out on a date with food and so was I, so I thought a double date might work, but looks like she didn't like that idea very much . . ."

Salma pinched the bridge of her nose. Her mother smiled politely, masking her displeasure like a pro. Salma could sense the temperature dropping though. Whatever warmth her mother had developed for Zayn after getting Ghamey arrested and paving a path for her sister's freedom, diffused just as quickly as it had come. Aliya had always been wary of letting new people in. Zayn was already someone she distrusted. So far as Salma knew, it took her mother quite a while to start being warm to Anne in the beginning. His joke was going to backfire.

Anne, on the other hand, being quite the easy going person seemed rather amused by Zayn's stupid joke.

Although Zayn wanted all of them to have lunch together, Alley's patience or her apparently pleasant mood was not to be tested further. She told him they had to get home and ordered Salma to get a move on.

"You should've left!" her mother repeated. She had started scolding Salma the moment they were out of earshot.

Salma slammed the car door shut. She knew this would happen. Her mother had dragged her out of the food court and she was still hungry.

"He followed me around!" Salma defended.

"You should have come straight back to us!"

"Aliya, give it a rest," Anne came to Salma's rescue. "They're mahrams for Allah's sake."

"That aside, I still tried to get rid of him because I knew mum won't like it," Salma said angrily. "And I still end up getting dragged out of that place with no food –"

"Stop being a kid!" Aliya snapped. "Of all the things, you're still whining about food!"

Salma focused on the road but her vision kept blurring. Hunger and unjust scolding, they knew she would explode but they still gave her a dose of that combination every now and then. Without a warning, Salma slammed on the breaks.

Her mother and Anne cried out in panic. The car behind honked angrily, before overtaking her.

"What's wrong?!" Anne asked.

"Did you see something on the road or -?" Alley broke mid-sentence when she turned to her daughter. With her elbows on the steering wheel, Salma had placed her head in her hands.

"This is the last time I get to be treated like this," Salma said, her tone strained, "If you don't like that – that creature around me, you better contact him and let him know!"

Unlocking the door, Salma jumped out of the car and slammed the door shut with an explosive bang. She started walking down the side walk. She knew she was acting like a brat but she refused to take blame for something she should not have to. One, because Anne was right and Zayn was a mahram that she was allowed to spend time with and two, she did try to send him away. She thought she would briefly explain to her mother that she had run into Zayn after she had had something eat.

"Salma." Anne stopped her, as a hand wrapped around Salma's arm. "Come on darling. Don't be difficult."

"I'm not the one being difficult!" Salma retaliated.

"I know, I know," Anne quickly placated her.

In her periphery, Salma noticed her car crawl to her left.

"Get in the car, kid," her mother commanded or requested, Salma could not tell. "It's a long walk home," and when Salma didn't move, "Look, how about you behave and I'll make a quick stop by Cody's so you get yourself something to eat," she bargained.

Salma's stomach growled loudly. Her eyes did a swift snap towards her aunt. Anne was chewing on her lips. Was that a smile she was trying to suppress?

"Come, Sally," her mother urged again.

Sighing, Salma opened the door and slid in beside Alley, who had taken up the wheel. She noticed her mother avoid eye contact with Anne who got in the backseat. Both the women were trying to stifle a laugh. Now that she had lost her steam, Salma found her tantrum quite embarrassing now.

"Don't laugh at me," Salma groaned, again, hiding her face in her mother's arms when she pulled her in for a hug.

"You're always so ready to blow up, it's funny," Anne commented as if that excused them laughing at her.

"One would think that after Atif had calmed down with age, I wouldn't have to deal with people prone to explosions simply because they were hungry." Her mother smiled. "I'm sorry, kid. I didn't mean to say you sought to be alone with Zayn. I shouldn't have snapped at you."

Salma pulled away.

"And even if I did?" she asked, uneasily getting reminded of hugging Zayn not too long ago.

"You have to agree this is not how we do things," Alley said. Salma resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "This is considered inappropriate."

"You shouldn't have gone for an early nikkah then," Salma muttered, settling down in her seat.

"Sadly, we have no choice," her mother started the car.

"Good luck explaining that to Zayn," Salma grumbled under breath.

Even to Salma, it made no sense. Once the nikkah was performed – although she would not for the life of her say it out loud – they were husband and wife. Not that she was particularly keen on dates, but Salma was of the opinion that Muslims ought to reform how they approached marriages. The old 'mingle after marriage' rule did not seem to work very well with her generation. Premarital relation was the norm around them. For the Muslim kids, guarding their modesty had become a struggle. Even if they did not want to, they found themselves getting sucked into sins. Salma thought the best way to go about it was to perform the nikkah and be allowed to spent time together – maybe in some controlled environment if the parents were paranoid, or their kids crazy - until they were ready for a marital life. Although, there would be risk of things not working out and ending up in early divorces, Salma thought at least the Muslim youth would not be playing with fire by struggling to avoid engaging in sinful activity.

***

First draft: August 9, 2021

Later that night, Zayn texted her for the first time after their unplanned, mutually agreed upon radio silence.

Zayn: Thanks Bee

Salma sighed at the smiley at the end of the text. It was the blushed, hearties smiley. He seemed all enthused at the prospect of finally expressing what he felt, and Salma was wary of how her family would take it. She realized she had to do the frustrating task of letting her family know what Zayn expected of the relationship now that it was official, and also, let Zayn know what her family expected of him. The two opposing extremes would end up catching her in the cross fire if they did not discuss and resolve their conflicting targets.

Salma typed a response.

Salma: What for?

She had quite the clue what for. For choosing to stay with him, for meeting up, albeit accidentally, and also probably for responding the way he wanted. In fact, it was probably just that. The hug.

Salma blushed remembering the feel of his arms tightening around her. It was not the first time they had embraced, but it was surely the first time she had it done at her own fancy. A discomfort pinched her gut. Her mother would definitely not be pleased to know about it.

"Man, I really need to get this sorted," she muttered, chewing on her lower lip.

Aliya's views were super weird, and although Salma did not agree or really bother to follow her mother's  twisted cultural expectation of 'appropriateness' in a nikkah, she definitely cared for her parents approval, or at least their knowledge before she treaded on what they would consider murky waters.

Zayn's response to the text made her attentive to the phone once more.

Zayn: EVERYTHING!

Salma laughed quietly.

"Seems words fail you too sometimes," she said, typing a response.

Salma: In that case . . . you're welcome.

Come to think of it, her subconscious piped in. He said the same thing the last time you hugged him. It's definitely the hug!

"Oh shut up," Salma muttered to her head.

Zayn: See you at the coffee house tomorrow?

Salma smiled.

Salma: Of course.

Zayn's response was instant.

Zayn: Perfect!

Zayn: Can't wait to resume the ritual!

Zayn: It silly how much I missed it

"You're not the only one," Salma said, then blinked.

Say what? Her brained yelled.

Salma released a slow breath.

"Well, it's the truth. I kinda got used to it, didn't I?"

You're lost cause!

"Agreed," Salma replied to the voice in her head as she typed a response to Zayn. "I am lost. The entire story of my life is described by the word, lost --"

She hit send.

Salma: I have to admit, it had become a part of my morning routine too.

Her subconscious facepalmed.

You had to tell him that?

Salma instantly regretted admitting to Zayn that she had missed doing the coffee ritual. She rushed to delete the text but his read receipts appeared on her screen followed by 'Zayn is typing. . .'

Salma closed her eyes. This was embarrassing to say the least.

Could you watch yourself?!

"Yes ma'am!" Salma whispered, making a crying face as she prayed. "Please send a normal reply, please send a normal reply, please send a normal --"

*Beep*

Salma's breathing stopped. She read the text, dreading its content.

Zayn: Am I absolutely thrilled to hear that?!

Salma swallowed.

"Crap?"

Zayn: I'll see you tomorrow.

Salma hurried to wrap the conversation up while he was still typing.

Salma: Yeah.

Salma: Good night. Assalamo'Alaikom.

Zayn: Love you for all your buzziness

Salma's mind froze at the kiss emoji. She dropped her phone.

"Turn it off," she said like a startled robot, eyeing her phone as if it was an explosive. "Turn it off. Just turn it off --"

*Beep*

"Nope!" backing away  but she saw the text appear in the notification bar.

Zayn: Tuck in your stingers. Sleep tight Bee.

A laugh escaped lips.

"Stingers?" she said amused, feeling somewhat relieved that he didn't go down any further on that mush-filled path. "You couldn't have gone with wings?"

*Beep*

Zayn: Wa'alaikom Assalam.

Salma heaved a sigh of relief. The conversation was over. Although her lapse in judgment got her dangerously close to Zayn going down that raw emotions lane, Salma was glad he steered cleared just in time.

She hoped the meet-up the next day would go by normally. She suddenly found herself worrying. What if her decision to stay in a relationship with him gave him all the wrong signals? She was still very much a confused mess so far as her emotions were concerned. What if the decision to stay, the hug, and her admission that she had missed doing their little ritual made him think she was ready?

What if he wanted things to pace up?

Author's Note:

It's sailing! It's sailing, but are there rocky waters ahead? *suspense mode on*

Lol, we read on to see what happens :P Vote, comment and Share.

And as usual, those who can support me on my creative journey. Check out my patreon and read early chapters as a token of my gratitude for your support ^^

Lots of Love

J.