32. suspension

"I WANT THOSE RECORDS YESTERDAY." Coach Ten yelled into the phone.

Kitt sat with AC Jarvis on the couch. She was exhausted. The emotions of the last few hours had been almost more than she could take.

"It's going to be ok. You have us on your side. We will help you through this." AC said to Kitt, patting her knee. Kitt was curled up on the end of one of the couches with a tissue in one hand, and the pillow clutched to her chest.

"I haven't told my parents yet." Kitt admitted quietly.

"We can help with that, too." The older woman said with a reassuring smile.

"Ok, so we have your student records coming by currier. We can't get Axel's records because of confidentiality issues, but an officer is on the way over to take your statement and file charges against him if needed." Coach stood up and paced the same route across her carpet Kitt had taken on her rants.

"That... um... is that necessary?" Kitt sat up looking green.

"Unfortunately, I believe it is." Coach looked at her with sympathy. It was the only softness Kitt had seen in her face since she had shared her story.

"I can't. I can't! I will have to tell my parents!" Kitt looked from one face to the other wildly feeling her chest tighten in utter panic.

"We will take care of that." AC said again.

"You don't understand!" Kitt said, feeling dizzy as her throat felt restricted and her lungs were like over inflated balloons.

"They will support you, I'm sure of it." AC tried to reassure her.

"No! No! They can't know! They will worry, I can't be a burden! I, I can't!" Kitt gasped, losing her sight as her head spun.

"Kitt? Kitt! I think you are having a panic attack." Coach came over and knelt down so she could look her in the eyes.

"I can't, I can't! They can't know. I can't worry about them! I-I... I can't tell them!" She was gasping heavily, and the world was lilting heavily, making her unable to focus.

"Kitt!" AC yelled, but she sounded far away.

"Call the medical office." Coach ordered AC.

AC got up from her spot, but Kitt barely noticed. Kitt couldn't slow her breathing or seem to get enough air. She clawed at the collar of her shirt, sitting at the base of her neck. It felt like a noose. The world lost its shape.

Kitt didn't recognize when people were speaking to her she was desperately trying to fight her way out of her shirt that felt like it was shrinking around her, constricting her movements and her ability to get air.

Someone held her hand, and a quick sharp pain pinched her arm. The world slowed, and it slowed so quickly. Kitt felt the dizziness take over, and she slid into the blackness of unconsciousness.

***

Kitt woke up laying on the couch in the coach's office. She had remembered getting there and sharing her story with Coach Ten, but everything after that was hazy with blury patches.

People stood around the office, instantly making Kitt feel the panic rise in her throat.

"Ms. Von Ahlefeldt, we have to speak to her directly." A uniformed officer was saying to the coach.

"Hey there!" AC noticed Kitt's eyes were open.

"What happened?" Kitta, she'd sitting up slowly drawing the attention of everyone in the room.

"You had a panic attack. You were hyperventilating, and it made you pass out." The school paramedic said, pumping up the blood pressure cuff attached to her arm.

The room spun as she sat up. She had to  take a second before she could look up at the sea of faces now staring at her.

"The resource officer is here to take your statement. If you think you are up for it." Coach Ten sat beside her.

"I, um..." Kitt looked at her two coaches. They both looked encouraging, and they nodded as she looked from one to the other.

"Ok." Kitt agreed.

"I don't think you need to go to the hospital. Your vitals are returning to normal. BUT! If you experience this again, you might need to follow up with your family doctor." The young paramedic said, patting her arm. He removed the blood pressure cuff. The rest of the group watched as he packed up and waved as he let himself out.

"So, Ms. McCoy, when did you get that bruise on your cheek?" The officer started asking questions as soon as the door clicked.

"At the barbecue, like 5 days ago?" Kitt replied.

"Have you seen a doctor?"  He asked, scribbling in his notebook.

"I saw the campus doctor the next day. She did an x-ray, I have a fractured zygomatic bone and extensive bruising on my face, arms and chest." Kitt said. Both Coach Ten and AC Jarvis looked sick.

"Thise scratches?" The officer pointed at her chest with his pen.

"Scratches?" Kitt looked at him in confusion.

"She did that just now, when she was having a panic attack." Coach Ten said quietly.

"Ok, walk me through the events of the night of the barbecue." The officer instructed.

Kitt took a deep breath and looked at her Coach who nodded at her in encouragement. Kitt looked down  at her fingers before she started the story in excruciating detail.

Kitt crawled into bed that night, feeling like she had run a marathon, and then competed for the world record in brick throwing. Her entire body was sore, as if she had used every single muscle to the point of exhaustion.

She picked up her phone for the first time that day. She was jot at all surprised to see missed calls and a barrage of texts.

She sent a quick reply to each message before finding some music she could fall asleep to.

AC Jarvis had called her dad and she had spoken to him briefly, but now her heart ached thinking about how he was worrying. She had always tried to minimize her negitive impact on his life. She wanted to be his support, not another problem.

He thoughts drifted to loosing her scholarship. If that happened there was no way she could afford to pay for school. She was already on thin ice with her full time summer job barely covering her added expenses above and beyond her full ride scholarship. She would have to drop out. The thought crushed her soul in a way that hurt physically.

She thought of Axel and his report against her. He reported her. HE reported HER. How was that even possible?

She hadn't told any of her friends or Leo about the letter or the possible consequences of her actions. She had barely filled them in on the events of that night. She skimmed over the nitty gritty and gave them a broad explanation. Leo knew more, but no one else. She was a private person, her business was hers. Her problems were for her to deal with. She had learned a long time ago friends are not always willing to support you through the hard stuff, so if you want to keep those people in your life you had to keep the big bad scary things to yourself.

Her consciousness could only hold so many thoughts. She felt queezy as her thoughts rolled around, morphing together and getting bigger and louder.

The music filled the air around her and body shut down. Sleep came swiftly and she hoped dreamlessly.

***

Kitt fought against the restraints. She looked down to see rough ropes biting into her skin. With each movement they pulled tighter and dug in deeper. Blood dripped from the rough thick ropes, but it didn't pool at her feet, it was dripping straight forward?

She looked up to see that she was tied to the under side of an airplane. It was up so high that when she looked down, the world looked like a photograph. She could barely make out shapes of towns and cities.

The plane tilted heavily, wrenching her sideways. She tried to find a way back inside the plane, but there was nothing around. No hatch or door that would guide her to safety.

The plane lurched to the other side throwing her sideways in her painfully tight restraints.

The nose dipped down and then back up rolling the plane along the cloudless sky as if it were a rough country road.

She could see a wall of grey misery ahead. She willed the plane to fly around the storm. The rain pounded the earth so hard she could hear it. The bright blue sky became dark with rain laiden clouds the instant they got too close.

The storm moved to envelope them.

The raindrops mixed with hail and pelted Kitt as she remained helplessly tied to the bottom of the giant machine. The rain hit so hard each felt like a slap or a pinch on her bare skin. The assault was incessant and relentless.

A lightning bolt charged with all the energy Zeus could muster connected with the aircraft. The electricity surrounded the metal tube, protecting those inside but hitting Kitt with every volt of power. Her body stiffened. Her muscles straining against the ropes forcing her to deepen her own wounds.

The heavy rain turned to ice, pelting her with, what felt like a thousand sharp knives. She had to tuck her face into her chest the best she could  with out being able to move. The cold made her skin burn as the bitter wind whipped around her.

She forced herself to look around when the plane took a hard turn again forcing her sideways roughly. It shook violently and suddenly took a turn sending it into a nose dive. Heading straight for earth, Kitt tried to scream but her mouth was dry and silent.

She could feel the dryness of her mouth take her voice away, she couldn't make a sound. She couldn't even tap on the plane because her skin was frozen numb. Her voice caught in the desert of her throat.

Right before impact the plane pulled up, heading almost straight up. Her skin pulled at her muscles underneath as if wanted to rip away from her skeleton. She couldn't hold her own head up against the massive and oppressive force on her body.

The air in her lungs was forced out. They screamed painfully making her gasp ineffectually. Her cells needed air soon or she was going to die. She could feel the anger in her lungs clawing at her to breathe.

As soon as she felt the plane Level off and she felt the air rush back into her lungs filling them with thin damp air. It was more like a tease than a breath. The air was too thin to sustain her. It was a punishment. The little bit of air had to be enough for now.

The plane lurched violently again weaving side to side, as if a toddler was at the helm driving like they do in the movies or plating a video game.

The plane jolted and sputtered and silence filled her ears. The roar of the engines suddenly gone. Gliding on the air currents alone, the plane dropped quickly.

Kitt looked up to see a snow covered mountain range appear in the distance. They were heading directly for the rocky peaks. The plane wavered and tilted side to side as it careened out of control. Kitt fought to free herself once again.

She pushed and pulled with all her might. The ropes became rougher with each show of effort. Kitt was loosing the fight.

She ignored her screaming lungs.

She ignored her bleeding sores.

She ignored the painfully headache of her blood rushing to her head.

She ignored the panic inducing dryness in her mouth, nose and throat.

She had to free herself.

The plane continued to decend towards the jagged rocks of the mountain face. The edges of the rocks appeared sharp and rough.

The plane stayed on its crash course with the mountains, sometimes pulling up, only to dip severely. Kitt tried to scream.

Her voice was stolen by the painfully dry desert that had replaced her mouth. She breathed huffing and puffing trying to get the air she needed. She felt the fear stab her in the chest again. The plane was so close to the cool grey stone face that Kitt could feel the wind change as it came off the rough surface.

They took another severe turn of course and the plane headed for the straight cliff face on the side of the mountain. Soon there would be nothing. Time slowed cruelly, making her mind race as she watched the mountain edge closer ever so slowly.

The plane nose made impact with a sickening crunch and scrape. The metal crumpled millimeter by millimeter. She watched as the impact came closer and closer. The inevitably haunted her as she tried to fight and scream to no avail.

Kitt bolted upright just before she made contact with the rock face. She felt the panic over take her. She grabbed her water bottle off the night stand and went to stand outside.

The paramedic had taught her some tips and tricks to help if she ever had another panic attack. She didn't expect to need them so soon.

She texted Leo not expecting a response, but the comfort of reaching out to an actual person helped ground her to reality.

Kitt was angry. Angry at herself. Angry at Axel. Angry at the school. Angry at director Thomas.

She felt the panic start to build in her chest.

She tipped her head back and screamed with all her might at the night sky.