i wonder

1.

and now i sit

staring, at nothing in particular,

just lost in my own

depressing thoughts.

i wonder many things -

complex and simple alike.

i wonder about the day;

how it switched from

good to bad so quickly.

i wonder about my bones;

how they ache and were put under

a little too much pressure

than they could actually bare.

and i wonder about you.

i wonder what i did wrong.

i wonder why the air between us

was so still and empty

and i wonder why you made no effort

to breathe your sense into it -

anything to give me a speck of hope

to grasp onto -

and then the day wouldn't have become an eternal bleeding memory.

but it is. it was. it always will be.

the stillness still tauntingly

rings in my ears

and keeps me from falling asleep.

it is. it was. it always will be.

i wonder.

💔