missing you

1.

loving hurts.

it hurts so, so good.

I miss you right now,

just as I normally do.

I wonder if I've gotten lonelier

or just fallen in love with you

a little more.

the longing is stronger these days.

I tend to look through our photos

at least once a day

and reminisce at letters

you wrote to me.

I tend to sleep with extra pillows

and a few more covers,

anything to substitute your company

or persuade myself that it's you.

I tend to wish you were here

to lift my chin

and wipe my tears

when I get stressed out;

plant a kiss to my forehead

and tell me I'm being silly -

that everything will

undoubtedly be okay.

but then again,

I've always wished that.

at this ripe age

I still tend to want to spend

all my days with you,

I am already certain I could

never get sick or tired of you.

I'll never outgrow you.

I have this intense love

enclosed in my chest,

all stored for you.

and some days,

it tries to escape my ribcage

more than others

and I feel it.

my chest aches in a way

that could bring tears to my eyes,

but tears not necessarily sad

and not necessarily happy, either.

tears of my love and longing for you.

I just wish you were here.

my everything

misses your everything.

love hurts,

but it hurts so good.

I'd rather be missing you

with the knowledge that maybe

you miss me too -

you plan to see me again -

than have the lingering idea

that it only lives in my head.

♡