23: The Secrets Out

“The – night of the robbery where you you worked..” the words fall from my lips as I piece it all together. That's why he didn't want to tell me. He was – is – ashamed of his decisions. Niall thinks he took the easy way out and he was afraid i'd leave because of it.

“I'm so sorry – wait, how did you know?” he sits up as his sobs grow shorter and quieter by the minute.

“Nick – but that's not important right now. You have nothing to be sorry for” I gulp as I try to compose the mush inside my head. So much information, so little time. “You were shot – you were being robbed” I stutter.

“Fucking Nick” he growls and pulls at his hair.

“Niall – stop. Just listen to me – none of what happened that night was selfish. Your not a coward” I forget that I can't touch him anymore and awkwardly tuck some of my hair behind my ear. Why is this happening?

“I could have easily let them – take what they wanted but I didn't” he says between shallow breaths, “I could have lived if I had wanted to” he starts to sob again.

My heart aches and my body yearns to crawl up beside him and just hold him. I want him to know this revelation doesn't mask my better judgement. It never did, in fact I thought it was brave of him.

“Niall you saved a life and gave up your own” I attempt to make a break through, “Your not a coward, your a hero” I sniff, and try as hard as I can to keep from crying.

I look up through my tears at her understanding expression. The sincerity of her judgement is clear. She doesn't think I'm a coward like I had assumed she would. She's known all this time and she continued to fight for me.

“A hero?” I almost half laugh, “I am not a hero, I stood there anxiously planning when I'd fight the guy for the gun because I knew it was bound to go off” I clench my jaw to keep from screaming.

“No!” she yells over me, barely giving me a chance to finish my sentence. She looks behind her taking precaution on the amount of noise we're making. I had forgotten we aren't the only ones here.

“Your not a coward, you a hero!” she keeps her tone at a moderate level but her body language gives off just how much she's sick of this little dance we have going on. Why does she believe in me so much? Any other person would have left me long ago, without me having to tell my secrets.

That's just it though, Gemmy isn't just any person. She's my Gemmy, the strong, optimistic, intelligent, and incredibly beautiful Gemmy. Who despite everything still worries about me and my stupidity. She hasn't judged me yet, and here I am just pushing her away like I always do.

“Lets just say I am a hero” I gulp.

“You are” she sighs.

“Let me finish please Gem” I stare at the floor for a moment before looking her straight in the eyes. I'm thrown off by the amount of light in them. Only moments ago they seemed almost as lifeless as my own. She's got enough hope for the both of us I guess.

“Niall” she begins when I let my pause go far too long.

“Sorry – I” I sigh, “If I were really a hero, why would I be sentenced to this hell? To remain here, fall in love with you, be teased with the idea that I can attain you, then lose it all?” I question in the quietest of tones. Her eyes twinkle and finally a single tear rolls down her face.

“That to me is the biggest punishment of all. Honestly I could give a shit about the past year I wasted here mourning over myself and my lack of life. The day I saw you, I just knew I couldn't keep away, I had to know you, and I did.” I place a hand on the floor beside her leg and mentally curse myself. “Only to have lost you”

“You haven't lost me Niall” she squeaks and rushes to wipe her tears, “I'm still here, and i'm not giving up on you. I love you. I -”

“Your aunt Gene” he interrupts right when I was about to speak.

“What?” I ask almost angry, what the hell does my aunt have to do with this?

“She's the one” he sighs.

“The one what? What are you on about? We're talking about you – us this has-”

“She's the one I saved, my co – worker” he talks over me, and I feel my mouth go dry. “She had just had little Spencer – I guess I felt bad. It still doesn't change the fact that I only did it knowing i'd-”

“Now I understand” I interrupt him, though I'd assume he hadn't heard me, my voice was so small.

“Understand what Gemmy?” he finds my gaze and forces me to look up.

“Your father – he said we were meant to meet. That I was and still am your salvation – I never understood why or how” I explain more to myself than to him, but it all makes sense now. I found all the pieces to the puzzle, it's almost complete.

“My dad? How – what the -” I stutter, and it makes just as much sense to me as it does to Gemmy. That's why he wanted me to go after her, he wasn't playing match maker at all. Gemmy can save me?

“This is what he wanted – he set this all up – he -”

“I did no such thing Niall, I merely steered the both of you in the right direction” he appears out of the shadows.

Gemmy stands to her feet, and I follow suit. “You knew about it all? My aunt and Niall?” she questions.

“That's why you were so intent on us talking and working things out. Why you wanted me to open up to her” I add and he nods, his hands in his pocket.

“You were supposed to meet that day after the robbery” Niall's father explains, and I think back to that night my aunt had the traumatic experience. My parents and I were meant to visit, to see baby Spence for the first time.

How did I not piece it together all this time? My aunts accident, Niall's death. When Nick told me I should have thought about it. Aunt Gene lived here for a few years, i'm so stupid!

“If I would have known-” Niall runs a hand through his hair, eyes wide and mind racing.

“You couldn't have known” his dad and I say at once.

“If I did I wouldn't have done anything, I would have lived” he pauses and looks at me, “The moment I would have seen you then, I would have wanted nothing more than to know you, like the day you moved in” he reaches for my hands and I flinch when I can feel his touch.

“We knew that” Niall's dad announces, bringing out attention back. I hold Niall's hand tight, in fear that this will be the last time i'll ever get to do that.

“We?” Niall questions and his father looks up at the ceiling with a smile and a hand over his heart. “Yes, we” he looks back at us and it doesn't take much for us to catch on.

“It was a terrible mistake what happened son, you weren't supposed to – we never expected you to-” he rambles, and comes towards us.

“I get it dad” he sniffs, tears of joy taking over this time. There's hope, he sees it now. They share a one armed hug due to the fact that neither Niall or I want to let go of each others hand.

“I waited so long for this day to come, i'm just glad you did it in time” he looks to the floor a wave of sadness washing over him.

“What if we hadn't?” I ask not really wanting to know the answer.

“If you hadn't” he looks me in the eye, “Niall wouldn't have a chance to live”

“Wait what are you saying?” I grip my fathers shoulder eager to hear the information hes been withholding from me. He smiles a smile that reaches from ear to ear. “Go on dad” I press, Gemmy holds on to me, eager to hear as well.

“Before I tell you, I need you to be completely honest with me” he sighs.

“Of course” I nod eagerly.

“What do you want most now that everything is out in the open?” he questions and I feel slightly offended that he would even ask me that.

“I want nothing more than to be in Gemmy's life for as long as i'm able to” I admit, look at her as I do. Her eyes glow with so much hope that it only reassures me of my feelings.

“You know that means finally letting go of your past?” he adds and I turn to face him.

“What past? I'll forget it all if it means I can be with Gemmy. I understand everything now, this” I pause as I look around the room.

“Being here like this was nothing compared to the thought of losing her. The only time I ever felt real happiness was with Gemmy. I always let my demons and insecurities get in the way, telling me she would despise me for my stupid decision. Now I know I was wrong, you and Gemmy were right dad”

“Do you really mean that?” Gemmy asks and I look to her, the tears rolling down her face.

“With all my heart. You have brought light back into my dark hell of an after life. Your my own little paradise Gemmy. You helped me escape” I brush her tears away and a blush takes over her face. “I love you” I press my forehead to hers.

“I love you too” she whispers and looks in my dad direction clearly embarrassed.

I smile before looking to my dad once again, “What does this mean, is there any chance I can be with her? I mean really be with her” I stare into his eyes and he smiles once again, “Yes Niall, it does”

“Are you serious?!” I smile so big my face hurts. I wrap my arms around the man that had caused me so much happiness when he lived and so much grief when he left.

He hugs me back briefly before pulling back, “You can have a do over Niall” he pauses, “But it comes with a price...” he sighs and my heart jumps. This can't be anything simple, if it means giving me a second chance.

“What is it? I – i'll do anything” I admit, and although I mean it, i'm afraid to hear the consequences. Cause nothing ever comes free in life and in death.

“In order for you to come back – in a sense” Niall's dad gulps, and looks over to me. Giving me a feeling that he's still holding something back from us. “You and Gemmy won't remember a thing, maybe fragments but – You will find each other again” he drops the bomb and I almost hear the sound of my world come crumbling down.

“You can't be serious?” Niall croaks. I can't bring myself to talk, this can't be happening. Niall was right about one thing, life always takes away anything that makes you happy. He was only wrong in the fact that it didn't just happen to him. It happens to all of us.

“It's not the end of the world you two, don't panic. You two will find each other and all will be fine. You'll finally be together.” His dad tries to convince us.

“Yeh after how much time?!” Niall cries, the tears have returned. Along with my own.

“Niall please, just trust me. The both of you” he looks to me and I flop back on my bed, feeling defeated.

“How can you be so optimistic? Even Gemmy looks utterly distraught, and she's the most optimistic person I know” Niall's voice is low again as he kneels before me and takes my hands.

“We can figure this out Gemmy. I – I can live with just having you here. Where ever you go i'll go” He tilts my chin up so I look him the eyes.

“What kind of life would that be Niall? We both want this – it's just the consequences suck” I laugh sarcastically.

“If you do not accept, this will be the last you will see of each other, everything is out. You can't just turn back” Niall's dad announces.

“Of – fucking – course!” I cry out into the air.

“Gemmy, you won't suffer you won't have to deal with any of the heart ache. Neither of you will. Technically, none if this is real” Niall's dad has both our attention and we stand to our feet once again.

“What? So then – why go through all this crap?!” I shriek. What does that even mean? None of this is real? I have a feeling that if I ask that question out loud he'll give me some cryptic answer.

“Just accept and trust me you'll be thanking me later” he sighs, sympathy and honesty clear in his blue eyes. That same feeling from the first time he asked for my trust is still present. I just don't want to anymore.

“No this isn't fair” Niall takes my hand for what might be the last time.

“You act like you two will be the only ones affected. I have to give up so much more” he shakes his head, all with a smile.

“Like?” Niall asks, curious but also skeptical.

“I won't be able to reach out to you anymore, i'll be done with my mission and I'll finally cross over. You'll be happier and safe along side Gemmy. My job will be done.” He blinks several times to hold back the tears that gloss his eyes.

“You would do that?” Niall gulps and takes a step towards his father.

“Of course son. I'd give up everything if it meant you'd be happy” he pats Niall's shoulder and pulls him into a hug.

“If – um what if we accept and we don't find each other? What if a mistake happens like last time?” I ask cursing myself for such bad timing.

“That won't happen, I can assure you” He pulls back from the hug but keeps an am around his son.

I watch as Gemmy thinks hard about taking my dads sacrifice. I know he won't accept it if I don't take it myself. He's done all this just for me and Gemmy. I already know what I want to do I just hope Gemmy does too. So much has happened in so little time, there is so much to take in. Though I guess none of that matters since we probably won't remember much of it. I just hope I can keep the memories of watching Gemmy sleep. I want the exact moment when she said my name in her sleep and smiled, embedded into my brain forever.

“Lets do it” she finally announces her eyes landing on my father, a sincere and grateful smile on her face.

“If it's meant to be, like your dad says it always has been then we'll find each other” She comes closer to us and smiles.

“I'm ready. I can't bare to live in a world without you” I unhook myself from my dads side and take Gemmy's face between my hands.

“I love you” she whispers, before she gently presses her lips to mine. A white light engulfs us, and all I here in the distance is the voice of a stranger saying, “Then it's done”

***

My eyes fly open and I sit up in a panic. The feeling of actual air in my lungs feels foreign though I don't know why. It's not like I haven't been breathing all my life.

I look around and find myself in a white room with no windows or doors. Where am I?

“Niall” my dads voice echoes in the white room and suddenly he's coming towards me. I stand to my feet and try to think of what the hell is going on. My dad died 6 years ago..

“Dad? How -”

“I just came to say goodbye” he interrupts and my brow furrow.

“Wha-”

“What is the last thing you remember son?” He questions as he pats me on the back and swings an arm around me. Despite my need for an explanation I answer him.

“All I remember is -” I pause as my mind takes me back to the moment where I was fighting for a gun with a man, he was robbing the store. The gun went off and I, “I died” I feel my stomach sink, as I place my hand over my abdomen, where I had been shot.

“You almost died” my father chuckles, and I don't find the humor in the thought at all.

“How is that-”

“Does the name Gemmy, mean anything to you?” he asks cutting me off for the hundredth time since he showed up.

Gemmy.

My minds replays in fast forward, bits and pieces of a girl with beautiful blonde hair, eyes as blue as my own and lips as pink as cotton candy.

“Gemmy” My eyes go wide, and I look to my dad, “I love her?” I question, and he merely smiles.

“My job is done” he grabs me by both my shoulders. “I love you Niall, and no matter what i'll always be watching over you” he begins to tear up and brings me into a hug. I hug him back reluctant, i'm so confused.

“Goodbye” he sighs and he's gone.

I'm alone in the white room, the sounds of some sort of machine echo as they get louder and louder. I cover my ears but it's no use, the last thing I do is call out the girls name.

“Gemmy!”

----

I actually have the epilogue already written it was gonna be part of this chapter but i'll just publish it tomorrow :) I hope thie doesnt sound rushed, I tried not to make it rushed. I just got the idea in my head and I had to get it down before I lost it. Anyway i'll edit it later on when I have time lol