15: It's A Small World

As I close the door behind me the familiar sticky note is stuck to the kitchen table. I pick it up and leave my book bag by the door, luckily I have no homework tonight. I don't think I would have done it anyway, which is definitely not me, but Niall would be a huge distraction.

“I saw her leave, she was on the phone with your aunt I think” Niall's voice is heard before he is seen. I look up from the words on the yellow post-it that matched his voice. “Oh, yeah they'll be here soon then” my eyes follow his figure as he descends the stairs, and when his eyes meet mine I feel shy all of a sudden. “Your dad also went out with some co-workers” he sighs as he comes to stand in front of me. “Yeah he um doesn't really like my aunt” I half laugh, usually I have so much to say to him but I feel like everything has changed. My feelings are out in the open, this morning was a lot different than this moment. It was rushed, my mind was all over the place. In fact it still is. I only knew that I wanted him to know how I felt, and now he does and well.. I dunno what to do now.

“Why-”

“Niall I-” we say at once and I finally look up into his gorgeous blue eyes. The same pair of eyes that have haunted my dreams several times. “You go first” his cheeks turn a shade of pink which in turn make me flush as well. “Um I- wow, I actually forgot what I was going to say...” I bite my lower lip, and I watch as his eyes flicker from my eyes and to my mouth.

“So did I” he breathes and takes another step towards me, closing the small space between us. “I think it's safe to say, you have that effect on me” he chuckles and it's those kind words that make me fall a little bit more every time. “Do you not notice how much of a charmer you are?” I lower my gaze but he forces me too look back up without even having to touch me. “No. Actually I think you bring that out in me too” he gives me a shy smile, his lack of confidence etched across his face contradicts the words he said only moments ago. The sad part is he didn't even realize it until I mentioned it. “I think you bring it out in yourself, you just have to stop thinking so much” I smile as his eyes mirror my own.

He stares at me as if he's trying to make sense of what I've just said, “Tell me something” I sigh.

“Um like what?” a small crease forms between his brows.

“Something you wouldn't normally feel confident saying”

I run a hand through my hair and take a step back, what does she want me to say? I don't feel confident telling her half the shit that comes to mind.. “Niall..” she sounds disappointed and it's the most frustrating feeling to let her down in a such a petty way. “I- I can't Gemmy.. I'm not built that way”

“Yes you are you just made yourself believe you weren't” she closes the space between us once more.

“I..”

“Just tell me anything, something about me even. The first thing that comes to mind” she smiles and I feel my knees buckle. I love it when she smiles, it's so sincere and her brows shoot up in the cutest way. “I liked what happened this morning. Your lips felt just the way I had imagined” the words tumble out of my mouth, before I can even begin to process them. It's her, the mere sight of her and I forget my insecurities...

“See that wasn't so bad” she bows her head to hide her blush, but she quickly recovers and looks up at me. We stand in a short comfortable silence, until Gemmy stands on her tippy toes, begging for me to kiss her. Her eyes flutter closed as her lips inch closer and closer to my own. As much as I want to I can't... I'm scared that it won't happen again, because shit like that always happens to me. Nothing good ever sticks around me..

“Gemmy..” I sigh and tilt my head back as her eyes shoot open, her cheeks redden as she descends back to her normal stature. “Oh..” she replies softly not able to look at me. “I.. um should get ready..” she stutters not able to look me in the eyes, with a slight edge to her voice she brushes past me. “Gemmy” I drag her name out but she doesn't answer or even turn around.

“Gemmy please I-”

“You know I get that you have low confidence and everything, but you..” I pause searching for the irght words to get my point across. I know he's fragile but so am I and the way he just rejected me only confuses the hell out of me. “You can't just tell me you liked kissing me this morning then when I try to kiss you, you just reject me” I hadn't noticed myself walking back towards him until the proximity between us can literally be measured with a ruler.

“I did- no I do like kissing you it's just-”

“It's really simple Niall, do you like me or not? Because from my point of view it sure as hell looks like you don't” I clench my jaw and stand my ground. I wait for what feels like hours but Niall just stands there running a hand through his hair opening and closing his mouth not able to form the right words. “You know what, save it. Your silence speaks louder than words ever could” I shake my head and cross my arms over my chest, beginning my climb up the stairs once more.

I watch her smaller figure walk away from me and it literally feels like my heart is about to explode. “It's not that I don't like you, I- I do Gemmy!” the words fly out of my mouth and before I get the chance to over think it I continue. “I just- You have to understand, my whole life since my dad died..” I pause realizing this is the first time i've ever really told her about my dad. “Niall..” she sighs pity coating the way she says my name.

“No let me finish” I walk towards her standing on the second step of the staircase. “I care about you, a lot.. But ever since my dad everything I've ever cared about has some how been taken from me.. I don't want you to be one of them..”

I keep my head bowed as I fumble with my hands before me, “Niall.. what happened to your mom and dad was just a sick twisted form of bad luck it doesn't mean everything you hold near and dear to your heart will be taken from you..” her voice soothes my aching heart and guilty conscious. One day not far from now I will tell her everything.. “It feels that way..” I sigh and she reaches for my hand and as if by instinct I jerk my hand away. My eyes dart to hers and I can see the hurt dulling their bright blue color. “Why won't you let me touch you?” she sighs, “I'm scared that what happened this morning won't happen again... Cause I want it to but usually whatever I want turns to shit..” I say honestly.

“That's not true” she sighs.

“It is I-” before I can re word what I've told her in the last twenty minutes her strawberry tinged lips find mine. The sensation is better than what I imagine heaven would feel like. Her fingers run through my hair in a feverish way, as I claim her mouth with mine.

I break the kiss so we can both come back for air. I cling to Niall like a vine as I use him as a way to balance myself.. I've never been kissed that way, actually I've never been kissed in any way. “See, i'm still here” I half laugh as I brush my nose to his. “Don't jinx it” he jokes but I can see the gleam of fear in the back of his eyes.

“Gemmy!” my mothers voice echoes from the other side of the front door as it swings open. Niall jerks away from me in an instant and I find myself laughing because he's trying to look like he wasn't up to anything. “It's not like she can see you” I whisper and he looks back between my mother and I as realization hits. He blushes slightly and I kiss him on the cheek quickly.

“Gemmy come help your aunt with her luggage and baby Spencer”

Gemmy jogs over to help her aunt who hasn't even stepped through the door. “Put her things in the guest room babe” Her mother kisses her cheek and sends her one her way with the carry on and medium sized suitcase. “You don't have to stay down here.. You can wait in my room” Gemmy whispers as she passes me going up the stairs. I assume she's right but I know the majority of the night she'll spend down here, and I want to spend as much time with her as possible. “Nah I wanna be with you” I admit bravely and she blushes before she mouths okay and heads up the stairs.

I sit at the bottom of the steps as she disappears into the guest room. “Alright where is she?!” The woman I assume is Gemmy's aunt shrieks. And for a second I realize why Gemmy's dad might not like her. That is until I actually look at her.. I should have realized from the second I laid eyes on those legs.. Thin but toned. And those hips, hips only a young mother could pull off. “She'll be down in a second Gene, she's putting your things in your room”

“Oh right, come here Spence. Melissa do you have some snacks for him to munch on” she motions down low for the little boy that is her son, and pushes him towards Melissa, Gemmy's mother. I find myself walking towards her to make sure this isn't some sick joke.. “Gene?” I whisper her name but of course she can't hear me. She looks foreign, but maybe because she doesn't have mascara running down her cheeks and my blood all over her shirt. Yes, my blood Gene is the girl I was willing to give my life up for.. My ex co-worker..