Chapter 56: Confiding
Logan was invited to the hospital when the new maternity ward was completed. He thought it was a
little ironic that it was the maternity ward he was going to tour first. Serena met him in the waiting room.
She was smiling and seemedâ¦happy. He wondered if she really had been miserable living in his
house with him. Though, in all honestly, sheâd been so busy, heâd hardly seen her. He hoped her joy
was linked to the renovations in the hospital starting to wind down. âYou wanted to show me the
maternity ward,â Logan said as a greeting. Serena nodded.
âYes, come on,â she beckoned him to follow. The maternity ward had its own rooms separate from the
rest of the hospital. They were delivery rooms. There was a nursery and an infant ICU. The staff
working in the maternity ward were designated to that ward alone, and all the supplies was kept
separate. âWe were able to add two more delivery rooms, which is good since the pack keeps
growing,â Serena was telling him. âThe nursery has been updated with new cradles, swaddles, and
some newer equipment that is known to increase infant survival rates.â âThat all sounds good,â Logan
said absently. There was a newborn in one of the cradles. The nursery had a large window that Logan
could look through at the new pack member. He sighed, unable to pull his eyes from the sleeping,
mushy looking baby. âAre you alright, Alpha?â Serena asked coming to his side. He gave her a strained
smile. âYes,â he said with a nod. âIt wonât be too long before that is your child in there,â she said. âHow
is Holly doing, she hadnât come in for a checkup?â
âSheâs fine,â Logan said absently. âI think sheâs fine. She hasnât brought it up at all. She would if
something was wrong.â Logan sighed again, shaking his head and backing away from the nursery
window.
âWell, please remind her to come in for her checkups,â Serena said. Logan nodded, but he wasnât really
listening to what she was saying.
The idea that Holly was pregnant hadnât fully sunk in yet. He was holding it at a distance because he
didnât want to accept it. âIâm not ready,â he said suddenly. He wasnât sure if he had said the words out
loud, but Serena turned to face him, her eyes soft. âNot ready for what?â she asked. Logan shook his
head. He needed to talk to someone! His mother wouldnât want to hear it, because she was urging him
to find a Confiding Luna. He couldnât tell Holly, or she would freak out even more. Normally, Carson
would have been his âgo toâfor advice, but he hadnât seen Carson much since heâd had dinner with
Serena. She was a mother, she could understand his fears.
âIâm not ready to be a father,â he said. Serenaâs eyes changed quickly. Logan thought he saw a flicker
of anger, then sadness, but quickly, she composed herself and became compassionate. âIt is a big
responsibility,â she admitted. She walked closer to him, placing her hand on his shoulder. âLogan, have
you talked to Holly about this?â He shook his head. âNo, no, I canât do that,â he insisted. âHolly wouldnât
like that very much.â Serena gave a humorless chuckle and dropped her hand. âPerhaps not, but
Logan, the two of you are in this together, and you have to tell her the truth. Otherwise, it is only the
child that stands to get hurt,â she told him. Logan sighed. âI know,â he said turning from her and
throwing his arms up in the air. âTrust me, I get it. Iâve seen what youâve gone through with the twins to
keep them happy and having such a good life. You do an amazing job, but I know Iâm not ready for that
responsibility.â Logan sighed, bowing his head slightly. All his confessions were tumbling out. Heâd
been holding them so close, so deep inside, that he hadnât even been able to admit them to himself.
Now that he started, he couldnât stop! âI love the twins,â he said more gently. âI love being around them,
I love playing with them. Beyond thatâ¦I donât know what I am doing. I donât know how to be a father,
and I didnât want this. Not now, now with â¦â he trailed off. âLogan,â Serena said his name firmly. He
turned to look at her. She had her hands on her hips, like a mother ready to scold him. He flinched. âI
understand the fear and uncertainty. Trust me, I do. When I found out I was going to be a parentâ¦it
wasnât what I had planned.â âBut you went through with it,â he said. âAnd you are so good at it. I have
no way of knowing if I will be good at him.â Serena smiled at him, such a warm smile it lifted his mood
incredibly âI think youâd be great at it,â she said. âReally?â he asked. Serena nodded. âOf course,â she
said. âBut you have to be ready for it. You have to want it. That is what made my situation different.
When I found out I was pregnant, I weighed my options, and I realized it was what I wanted.â
âAnd if it isnât what I want?â he asked her. Serena sighed, shrugging.
âI canât answer that for you,â she said. âThat is a conversation you have to have with
âYouâre right,â Logan said softly. It was a conversation he was dreading having with Holly! âAlright, show
me the rest of the renovations,â he said, moving on. âEverything looks really great so far.â âIt does,â
Serena said with a nod. âWho knew that a fresh coat of paint and bringing the hospital into the modern
decade would work so many wonders?â Logan raised an eyebrow at her, and Serena laughed. Logan
smirked at her. Serena finished giving Logan the tour of the maternity ward. Sheâd been surprised when
he confided in her, but she knew what it was like. She remembered how she felt like she had no one to
turn to, not her family, not her pack, no one. Logan wasnât lacking family, friends, or pack, but she
imagined he felt very alone in this particular situation. Knowing that he wasnât ready to be a father, and
that heâd opening admitted it, gave Serena her own thoughts to mull over. Sheâd been leaning towards
telling Logan the truth, for the sake of her kids like her mother had said. It seemed like the right thing to
do.
Now that Logan had confessed to not wanting to be a parent, she wondered if it would do more harm
than good. Whether he knew the truth or whether the kids knew the truth, the dynamic of their
relationship would change, regardless of if he wanted to be an active parent or not. It certainly
complicated an already complicated situation. Telling Logan he was the father of her kids would mean
heâd have to make a decision. Heâd either need to step up or back off. Especially once she told the
twins the truth. They loved him so much, though, and she didnât want to hurt them by having him run off
or back away from spending time with them. Groaning, Serena went to the nurseâs station to file her
end of the day paperwork. âHowâd the tour go?â Adriana asked, stepping up beside her. Serena rolled
her eyes. âIt was as good as it could be,â she said. âI think Logan is have an existential crisis.â Adriana
laughed. âWe all go through it,â she said.
âYes, but he really seems toâ¦â she trailed off. âI donât knowâ¦like really bummed out.â
âAbout anything in particular?â Adriana asked. Serena sighed. She couldnât betray the Alphaâs
confidence. She didnât know if Hollyâs pregnancy was common knowledge yet, nor did she want to
gossip about Loganâs personal problems. In a way, they were her personal problems too. Adriana was
her friend, but the Alpha had confided in her about something he clearly hadnât been able to raise with
anyone else. As someone who had been there, had been on the âam I readyâ side of an unexpected
pregnancy, she understood how hard that could be. âHeâs got a lot going on,â Serena said
vaguely. âYes, it doesnât seem like Moonshine is going to back off anytime soon,â Adriana said, filling in
the vagueness with what was most obvious. âAnd I heard Flo has been asking him to find a Luna so
she can resign. I donât envy him right now.â
âHeâll be okay,â Serena said with a firm nod.
âHe has to be,â Adriana said. On her drive home, Serena thought about her decision to keep and raise
her kids. Looking back, it hadnât seemed like a hard decision at all. She knew that was just hindsight. In
the moment, it had been an incredibly difficult decision. Logan was at a disadvantage, because he had
the pack to consider, and he had to make the decision with someone else. Serena had been on her
own, and that had made it easier, in many ways.
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