94. Hard to Believe ✝️

In my loneliness, I decided to sleep-in until the afternoon. Apparently, it's a thing not to be jolly on Christmas; albeit, the Rivers merged this holiday with Cathy's birthday on the 26th, celebrating both.

When I woke up, I went to Zeke's room. After he opened his bedroom door, he got in his bed and pulled the covers over his head.

"Sir, I came all the way down here to talk with you."

Zeke mumbled, "Just because I treat you like a little sister, doesn't mean you have to act like one."

I frowned. "Normally, I would be with my family on this day."

"Then, call your family."

I rolled my eyes. "If Monica was here, you wouldn't be in the bed."

"That's what you think."

I gave a look of disgust before turning around.

Zeke added, "By the way, my mom isn't having her birthday party tomorrow. She said she wants to have me-time."

Now that's great news. I really didn't want to participate to begin with.

I started to walk out the door before remembering one very important thing. "So what are we going to eat today?"

"Go make a sandwich or get food delivery."

I gritted my teeth before leaving Zeke's room. He's lucky I don't have the energy to argue with him.

When I got back to my room, I sat in bed debating on making a phone call. A few minutes later, I searched for his name. Before I could call him, my phone rang. I answered it. "How did you know?"

"Know what?" Deonte asked me.

"That I was two seconds away from calling you."

Deonte chuckled, "I was calling to let you know that I'm bringing you some food. I wasn't gonna bother you, but Cha-Cha insisted."

"Tell Cha-Cha I said, 'thank you times a million.'"

Deonte asked, "I hope this doesn't lead to an embarrassing answer, but what happened to the food from yesterday? You had about 4 to go plates, right?"

"Sir, don't be asking questions you already know the answers to. Besides, I only have one personal trainer who I don't have to see until next year, and you are not him."

"Wow! I think I like it when you're hangry." Deonte lightly laughed.

What is so funny? I stood up and walked over to the window. "Sir, where are you now?"

"I'm leaving now, and you are my first stop."

"Just call me when you're outside with my food." I hung up the phone and went to the bathroom. After a shower, I put on a long-sleeve, blue fuzzy top with matching pants. Then, I put on some fur slides before leaving my bedroom and going outside by the pool.

The weather outside was nice. I slowly inhaled the air before exhaling. This is what a break is supposed to feel like... as soon as I get some food in my system, I'll be set.

Then, I heard the sound of a car. I left the pool and walked to the front of the house to see Deonte getting out of his vehicle. He pulled out his phone and pressed buttons before placing it to his ear.

I crept up behind him and tapped his shoulder. "Where's my food?"

Deonte turned around, wearing a smile. "Good afternoon, pretty lady."

I placed my hands on my hips. "Good afternoon. I'm starving."

Deonte gazed at me intently.

"What? Is something on me?" I looked down at my clothes.

"No. I just have to get used to seeing you without the sunglasses. You are a sight to see, a vision of beauty unlike anything I've ever seen before."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Deonte."

"Yes?"

"Enough talking and start walking with my food. C'mon," I told him.

Deonte grabbed a bag of food from his car. "Oh, I can't stay. I have a list of people to deliver food to like Erma Demure, and you know Erma can talk."

"And to think I thought I was special." I took the bag of food from him.

"You are special, and not just to me. Cha-Cha added you to the list, and she doesn't add just anybody to her food list."

I nodded my head.

"But if I finish before it gets too late, I'll come back and kick it with you."

I grinned, "Don't try to fit me in your busy schedule. We can hang-out another day."

"You sure?" Deonte inquired.

"Yes. Thanks for the food." I waved at him.

Deonte winked at me before getting in his car.

I headed back inside the house with my bag of food. When I got to my bedroom, I sat in my chair and opened the bag to pull out the to-go container. It had a bible verse on it.

John 3:16, NKJV

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

After reading it, I said a prayer.

I removed the lid to take in the aroma and visual of the plate: lemon pepper chicken wings, mashed potatoes with gravy, cooked carrots, and dirty rice. At the first bite, I immediately punched the air. Before taking a second bite, I punched the air again. It's unbelievable how good this food is. I looked around for my drink only to realize that Deonte never gave me one. Now, I'm sad.

I still ate though,  and I got full. While in bed, I picked up my phone and gave my mom a call. When she didn't answer, I called my step-dad. When he didn't answer, I called Monica. She didn't answer. Oh, my goodness! Is anybody available to answer their phone? Finally, I called A.B. He answered on the first ring.

"Jamie." That voice! It would always be music to my ears.

"A.B.," I smiled.

"How you been? What are you doing?" He asked me.

I stretched my arms as I stood up. "I'm a bit lonely today. I just ate by myself, and no one is answering when I call."

"Well, I think it would help if you weren't calling them from a private number."

"A private number?" I asked him.

"That's what came up when you called me."

I arched my brow. "Dang it. I probably accidentally hit something in the settings. Wait. How did you know it was me?"

"I was thinking about you a lot... I can't wait to see you."

I blushed as I held the phone to my ear. "I can't wait to see you, either, but you sound a bit tired."

"I'm in bed. I was about to fall asleep until you called," A.B. continued, "I'm glad you called, though. Now, I'll be able to sleep just from hearing your voice."

I like it when he's tired. I said, "Just don't have any crazy dreams about me."

He was quiet.

"A.B."

He remained silent.

"A.B.," I called his name again.

I heard him lightly snoring. He had to be extremely tired. I hung up.

Even though A.B. was tired, I'm not gonna lie, he made me mad. I looked at my phone and looked up a YouTube video on how to remove the privacy of my phone number.

A few minutes later, I called Zeke. Four rings later, he answered. "Yeah?"

"Did you see my name or the word privacy when I called you?" I asked him.

"I saw your name. Why?" Zeke asked me.

I replied, "That means I fixed it."

"Did you find something to eat?"

I smiled, "Oh, you do care?"

Zeke sighed, "Yes or no?"

I smacked my lips. "I did."

"Good. Only call if it's an emergency. I need all the sleep I can get today." Zeke hung up.

I tossed my phone onto the bed. "Why is everyone so sleepy or busy today?" Hmmm. Maybe, I should have my own time. Better yet, I should get serious about reading the Bible since today is Christmas.

I grabbed my phone and went to Google to search for scripture to read. One of the first results were several bible verses about Christmas. I smiled when I read John 3:16. That's gonna be one that I have to remember.

After reading through a list of bible verses, I became curious unlike ever before. I recalled my conversation with Deonte on how Cha-Cha doesn't celebrate Christmas, but the bible verse on her food container is the same one used about Christmas.

I searched Google: What is the truth about Christmas?

Results: Deception by Satan. Christmas originated in ancient Babylon.

My brows merged as I continued to read.

Results: Christmas is an abomination. Christmas is about the worship of the sun.

Confused much? I am. I read article after article, commentary after commentary, verse after verse, and none of it supported the day that I've only known to be about the birth of Jesus, spending time with loved ones, and gift-giving. Do most people not know or are they like me - doing what I've always done?

I looked at my phone for the time. I did all that in three hours. Three hours? I checked my phone for any missed calls or texts which I already knew the answer to since I didn't get any notifications.

I hesitated before calling Deonte. When he didn't answer, I sent him a text.

Me: Hey sir! I know you're busy but when you get a chance, could you send me Cha-Cha's phone number?

Deonte: Sorry. My grandparents were holding me hostage.

Deonte: Cha-Cha 213-555-7016

Me: No worries. Thx

Deonte: Yw

I saved her phone number in my phone and sent her a text.

Me: Hi Cha-Cha! This is Jae. Deonte gave me your phone number. I just wanted to thank you so much for the food. I was in need, but now I think I'm addicted LOL

Cha-Cha: Hi Jae! I'm so glad you like my cooking. During the last week of every year, I make about 50 food containers. Actually, I cook the food, Chanel puts the food in the containers and bags, and Deonte drops off the food. Cash pays for everything

Me: Nice! I like how y'all work together.

Cha-Cha: Our mom made sure of it. She says 8 hands are better than 2. Before Chanel was born, she said 6 hands are better than 2. She was not counting her 2 hands. That's for sure 😂

Me: LOL Your mom is so sweet. I really hope she doesn't think Deonte and I are together

Cha-Cha: Too late! Even our family thinks you two are an item. It didn't help that you left together.

Me: Well, we're not together even though Deonte is very kind, mature, and respectful.

Cha-Cha: You don't have to convince me. I strongly advise against you dating my brother, because he is not ready for a woman like you.

Cha-Cha: I love my brother, but he really needs to learn more about himself before he gets into another relationship.

Me: Sounds like I need to take that advice myself

Cha-Cha: Are you busy? Can you talk?

Me: Not busy. I can talk.

Seconds later, my phone rang. I answered it, "Hi, Cha-Cha!"

She giggled, "Hi, Jae. I figured it would be faster to talk than to text. Also, I hope you don't think I'm being too critical of my brother. He's older than me, but sometimes, it feels like I'm older than him."

I shook my head. "That's so funny, because I told him you come off as an older sister to me, even though you're younger than me."

We both laughed.

Cha-Cha said, "Chanel is slowly becoming the same way just with more attitude. I have to keep reminding her that she's the baby in the family."

"Chanel is a sweetheart. Wait, I thought Deana didn't like being called Chanel."

Cha-Cha replied, "She doesn't like Deonte calling her Chanel, but she has to accept it when me and mama call her Chanel. She knows she's an expensive kid."

I smiled, "I'll stick to calling her Deana."

Cha-Cha added, "Chanel will be okay whether you call her Deana or Chanel. Same with me. You can call me December or Cha-Cha."

I nodded my head. "I really like the nickname Cha-Cha. It's really cute. Oh, when Deonte brought me the food, I didn't get a drink. Was I supposed to?"

"Unfortunately, I don't include the drinks because Deonte doesn't know how to drop food off and leave. He'll let Erma Demure, our grandparents, and Stayah McCoy talk to him for hours."

"He knows Stayah McCoy the play writer of Leading Ladies, Mama's Brand New Shoes, and I Just Got To Have It? I mean, she's written so many more, but those are my personal favorites."

Cha-Cha informed me, "That's her. She's been trying to get Deonte to act in several of her plays, but he doesn't want to act."

"Really? That would awesome if he acted." I sighed, "Not to change the subject, but I have a question."

"Yes ma'am?"

"I've noticed that you put Bible verses on your food containers. The one I got today has the Bible verse John 3:16 on it. Being that today is Christmas, I wanted to read more bible verses. I was a little confused, because John 3:16 came up as a Bible verse for Christmas. You don't celebrate Christmas. Right?"

"That's true," Cha-Cha admitted.

I continued, "So, I started looking up the origin of Christmas, and I found a lot of information that I did not like to be completely honest with you. There was also things about Easter and Valentine's Day that I'm having a hard time stomaching. I wanted to ask you, even though the celebration of Christmas today is more joyful and happy, wouldn't it still be okay to celebrate? Like, it's more meaningful to celebrate it today than it was in the past."

Cha-Cha asked, "Well, you say it has more meaning. What's meaningful about Christmas? Or should I ask what does it mean to you?"

I immediately responded, "We recognize the importance of the birth of Christ, and we get to do that with our family and friends. Christmas often reunites people, helps people to understand what's important like getting along and feeding the homeless. Without Christmas, our jobs wouldn't give us time off. What other day is more celebrated in the whole world?"

"I have to admit that those are good things to do - feed the homeless, spend time with family and friends, and celebrating your faith, but is Christmas the only day you do that on? Should that be a part of your lifestyle, your every day life if you are a believer in God?"

"Good question!" I exclaimed. My mind went into a frenzy. I didn't know how to answer that.

Cha-Cha said, "I'll give you three short reasons on why I don't recognize nor celebrate Christmas. Number one, it is not a requirement nor is it mentioned in the Bible. Number two, it is not Jesus' birthday. December 25th is recognized as the birthday of the sun god Tammuz. And number three, the origin of Christmas has nothing to do with God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit. Now can I ask you one more question?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Why does it matter if you do or don't celebrate Christmas? Do you think it's wrong to not celebrate Christmas? What is your belief?" Cha-Cha asked me.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know much about my religion or beliefs. Every church I've ever gone to has always celebrated Christmas. God knows we celebrate this day for Him. Like, I can't see why it's wrong to celebrate it today."

"You know, I can't convince you of anything. That's between you and the Father. What I can say is this. The God that I know, serve, and believe is not a God for me to tell Him how I'm going to worship, celebrate, or recognize Him. If that's the case, then I might as well create my own god and be satisfied with that. Fortunately, I know without the true living God Yahuah, I have no power at all. In the Bible, He tells us how to worship Him and acknowledge Him. He is the Creator of all things. In what way does it makes sense for the created to tell the Creator how to do things?"

She had a point.

"Jae, I hope that you don't feel disheartened by what I've said. I apologize if I've offended you with how I'm saying this to you, but I do not apologize for telling you the truth. God is real, and He is not to be taken lightly if you are serious about the faith and having a relationship with Him. If you haven't started reading the Bible, I'd suggest reading the Gospels first which are the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. This is what I told Deonte. Start by reading the first chapter of John, then the first chapter of Matthew, and the same for Mark and Luke. Then, go back Matthew and read the entire book and all the gospels. Just read. When you have questions, write those questions down. Half of the time, the answer will come up as you're reading the Bible. Most of the time, you will have to pray for understanding and wisdom. When God knows you are ready for the answer, He will reveal it to you."

I took a deep breath.

"To start out with the reveal about holidays is a great step. You're getting one of the biggest obstacles out the way so you can focus on the Father. Just a warning though, do not get caught up in the ways that others believe in God. Some people adapt the Jewish traditions, some are Hebrew Israelites, some are Catholics, Jehovah Witnesses, Seventh-day Adventist... Some still call themselves Christians. This is your walk with God. This is your salvation. No matter how good the messenger sounds, do your own research and be led by God and not by religion. Okay?"

I replied, "Okay. This sounds a little intimidating. It sounds like I'm about to enter dangerous territory."

"You were born into dangerous territory. We all are. Jesus' sacrifice for our sins is the only thing that frees us from this dangerous place. It's just sad that a lot of people think they can live a great life without Him, not realizing that they are the walking dead. God opens your eyes to what's really going on in this world. We are not fighting other people. The attack of the enemy is not a specific person or a group of people. It's spiritual warfare. The devil knows he's already lost. So, he's trying to take as many souls as he can with him. When you choose God, you choose victory. Just make sure you don't deceive yourself into thinking you're safe, because you tell people you are a believer. God knows us better than we know ourselves. No one can trick Him. So, be careful."

"Is that why I have to get baptized? So I can go to Heaven?" I don't know where that question came from.

"A physical baptism is a beautiful thing, however, you can be saved most of your life and towards the end of it if you deny God, you can lose your salvation. Allow God to change the inner parts - your heart and your mind, then your outer parts will follow. The way you talk, walk, dress, behave, and all of that. But do not beat yourself up if you do something wrong. Again, this is why Jesus is the perfect sacrifice. His death on the cross allowed for there to be a way for us to connect with God, and Jesus' resurrection shows God's power over death. God promises that we too can have eternal life. As long as you choose Him, He will take care of you. That doesn't mean you can continue to live how you've always lived nor does it mean you'll have an easy life. It just means don't allow your mistakes to become a tool for the devil. When you fall, you haven't failed. As long as you have breath in your body, you can still have salvation which is freedom from your sins and the burdens of them. Jesus saved us from that."

Cha-Cha added, "Oh, my goodness, I know I've said a lot. I wasn't expecting this conversation to be what it is, but I missed some points. You got me excited here. I recently changed my three short reasons for why I don't celebrate Christmas to five, because I kept getting follow-up questions or statements from people who only wanted to argue their point instead of hearing me out. Again, number one: it's not a requirement by God to celebrate. Two: it's not Jesus' birthday. It's the birthday of the sun god Tammuz. Three: the origin of Christmas has nothing to do with the faith. Four: to celebrate Jesus' birthday is to mean he had a beginning like the rest of us. Jesus' existence didn't start at the virgin birth. He has always existed. Read John 1:1 and you can go all the way to verse 5. Five: there are people who don't believe in Jesus that celebrate Christmas. For some strange reason, everyone expects everyone to celebrate Christmas but no one expects every one to believe in Jesus."

I chuckled, "That's so true. Why do people who don't believe, celebrate?"

Cha Cha answered, "Because some of them know the actual meaning of it."

I massaged my temples.

"Well, I've given you a lot to think about. As a child of God, I am responsible for sharing His Word, and I really enjoy doing that. I hope you pray, think, and read that Bible. We can continue to talk about this another time if you like, maybe have Bible Study if you're interested. I'm here if you have any questions," Cha-Cha informed me.

"One more question. Is there a certain bible I should read, like King James Version? The different versions always confused me," I admitted.

"Not really. The great thing about being alive today is the amount of information we have access to. As long as you don't rely too much on the ones that summarizes the Bible. They are helpful, but the paraphrasing removes a lot of the words in the Bible. Pray for discernment and God will guide you."

I took a mental note.

Cha-Cha explained, "This is because... How can I say this? The problem with all the Bibles translated in English is most of them, just like people, forget that the Bible was not originally written in English. Just remember that's why it is our own responsibility to study God's Word by reading it ourselves, in the proper context, looking up words in their original languages: Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek. I started with King James Version and I simultaneously used the New King James Version as well as English Standard Version. I currently read a Hebrew Bible along with the ones I mentioned. God's Word is not complicated. It's people who make it that way. Even I don't know everything, and that's okay. Just as long as I'm not misleading others, and that's where my fear or reverence for God is. I don't play with His Word nor His people. God gives out the worst whoopings."

I don't know why, but that made me laugh.

Cha-Cha laughed with me. "It's the truth. Like, my mama didn't play, but she ain't God. God can get all of us at once. Some of us are not ready for Jesus' return. We are blessed to be under Grace, but it won't last for long."

I smiled. "Cha-Cha, I appreciate you talking to me about this. First-of-all, I did not expect you to change my mind. Not saying that that's what you were doing, but along with what I found on the internet, there's no way I can be okay with celebrating Christmas."

"Jae, it's easier said than done. My name is December and people expect me to be born on December 25th."

I asked her, "What day is your birthday on?"

"December first. My mama said she had two names for me: December and Deana. Everyone kept telling her that December was a cute name. So, she went with it. Well, she didn't think she'd have another kid, let alone another girl. That's why Chanel was named Deana."

"Aww. I like how all y'all names start with the letters D-E. My mom wanted me to have a name similar to hers."

"What's your mom's name?" Cha-Cha asked me.

"Jackie. My real name is Jamie, by the way. Feel free to call me Jamie or Jae."

"Can I call you A.B.?" She inquired.

I almost spit out the invisible drink I wasn't drinking. "Umm..."

"When I first heard your stage name I thought it was so different. What does the A.B. stand for?" Cha-Cha asked me.

What do I say? I paced the floor. "Umm... Long story short. Someone misheard me when I told them my name. It's also funny, because I have a friend whose name is A.B."

"Oh. Does he or she know? Did you ask them if you could use their name?"

Okay, Cha-Cha. You're getting a little nosey. I replied, "He said he liked it."

"He liked it? Is A.B. your boyfriend?" Cha-Cha continued, "Or am I being nosey?"

I chuckled.

Cha Cha got the hint. "Well, I hope I can meet him one day. I have discernment. I can let you know if he's a good guy or not."

"He is," I told her. "I told Deonte that he was a lot like you."

"Like me? He's a chef?"

"No," I lightly laughed, "He's saved and he knows a lot about God and the Bible."

"Really? I really need to meet him."

"That's a possibility, because he'll be here on the 29th."

Cha-Cha said, "If you get the chance, text me that the both of you are coming over, and I'll cook somethings special for you."

I smiled, "Thanks, Cha-Cha... for the food and the conversation."

"Anytime. Get yourself some rest. Bye, Jamie."

"Bye, Cha-Cha!" I hung up my phone.

Monica has some competition.