133. Candy-Coated 🪻

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard the front door open. I stood up from the sofa.

A.B. carried several bags in both his hands before resting them on the kitchen counter. Then, he walked over to me and kissed my cheek. "Did I wake you up?"

"I couldn't sleep," I admitted.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Are you okay? You look... flustered."

I arched my brow.

"You still look beautiful," he stated. "Have you ate?"

I quietly answered, "No."

A.B. went to the kitchen and opened the cooler before returning to me. "Eat this sandwich and drink some water. I'm gonna put everything away."

I took the food and watched him put everything away. Minutes later, he went to the bathroom, carrying more things to put away.

That letter continued to occupy my mind. This is not how I want things to start.

A.B. came out the bathroom.

Our eyes met.

"What's wrong?" He walked over to me.

Let's just put it out there. "You didn't tell me everything, J.C."

"What do you--" A.B. paused when he realized what I called him.  Seconds later, he asked, "Did you read that letter?"

I nodded my head. "You told me the relationship lasted for two years, but that letter sounded like it was longer than that."

A.B. rubbed my shoulder. "I'll tell you everything if you eat."

I silently agreed and took a seat on the sofa. I unwrapped my sandwich, said a short prayer, and took a bite.

A.B. sat adjacent to me in the loveseat, facing the sliding glass patio door with a view of the beach. "We met in college. I met my ex first. I met my business partner second. My ex and I were just friends at the time, but I knew she liked me more than that. Years later when I decided to get serious about my faith, she seemed to be the only one who tried to understand even though she wasn't much of a believer. One day, she asked if she could go to church with me and it became our thing. A few months later, I asked her out. We became official after that. The first few months were great, but then she wanted to do more. I don't know why I was surprised, but at the time I couldn't understand why she would want me to do things that I no longer wanted to do; especially, because of my love for God."

Lightbulb! "Oh!" I exclaimed.

A.B. nodded his head. "I did a lot of things before I got saved, but I didn't want to live that way anymore. After a year, she became tolerant and just accepted the way I did things. I didn't think much of it, but that's when I should have. I believe that's when my ex and my business partner started seeing each other."

I asked, "Were you gonna marry her?"

A.B. replied, "To please her, I would have, but the relationship was superficial. We just weren't compatible."

After a few seconds of silence, I said, "I am red, you are blue, and the sand is yellow... How often did y'all come here?"

"You're not eating," he reminded me.

I took another bite of the sandwich.

"When our relationship started, I was in deep. We should've went out on a few more dates. Maybe by third date, we would've realized we were better as friends. Anyway, I wrote her a poem called Primary Colors. In it I described our relationship and the feelings I had for her. When the issues surfaced, I told her I would take her to the beach house, because it was going to bring us closer together. I brought her here one time." A.B. held up his pointer finger. "One time... Her words and actions were like she'd been here before. All the signs were there..."

I asked, "Why do you go by A.B. instead of J.C.?"

"She gave me that nickname."

I took a sip of water before asking, "Does Baby Monica know her?"

"Yeah. Monica was a baby - literally. She grew up knowing my ex."

So that's why that little girl doesn't like me? Kids are loyal.

A.B. said, "Now it's time for you to tell me why you dropped out of college."

My eyes were wide open. "W-w-we haven't finished talking about you and your sorry ex."

A.B. stated, "I forgave her and him. I've moved on to something better."

I was about to take another bite of the sandwich when he said, "I don't see you eating."

I broke a piece of bread off my sandwich and threw it at him.

He caught it and ate it. "Jamie, why are you upset by the letter? What did it say to make you feel the way you do now?"

I thought before answering his question. "What if she comes back?"

"What if he comes back?" He retorted.

I blew air from my mouth. "How did you know about my ex in college?" I inquired.

"Your actions, your songs, and a few of your word choices. You seem to blame yourself for something he did."

Either A.B. can read me well or I do a poor job of concealing my emotions. I looked out at the beach, watching the ocean waves. It was time to tell on myself. "College was far from easy for me. I honestly didn't like it. I went for my parents more than anything else. By the time I became a junior, I was very close to being put on probation. Sadly, I couldn't blame it on partying. I just didn't study. Not that I didn't try, but nothing seemed to work. I was to the point of just wanting to give up."

I continued, "The semester had just started. We were about two weeks in. I had this math class that I just knew I was gonna fail. Right before the first test, this guy sits next to me and asks if he could borrow a pen and paper. I'd seen him before. He would sit on the back row, taking notes on his computer. On that day, he conveniently forgot his laptop. He made a few jokes and at the end of class thanked me for the pen and paper. The next time, he sat next to me and asked for my number. He would always initiate the texts but it would just be about class. Then, it just became a thing that we would sit next to each other. He would always make me laugh, and became a cool classmate or so I thought. A couple nights before another test, he invited me to a study group."

I wish this story was shorter. "It was just me and him at the library. He said everyone else cancelled. Fast forward, I passed the test with an A. He got a C and suggested we continue to study together. Right before mid-terms, he invited me to his apartment. We studied and ended up talking for hours. I left at almost midnight. Every test I took for this class, I got an A while he would get Bs and Cs. I didn't understand why he still wanted to study with me, because his grades weren't improving."

I paused the story before taking a sip of water. "So, we become study friends - if that's anything. We only hung out when we studied and the texting was always about class. Right before finals, I went to his apartment to study and basically, I got scammed. Well by that time, I thought we were in a relationship after he confessed how he felt about me. I mistook his affection for that of a boyfriend. So we would study together and do other things. Fast forward, it's after finals and everyone is either going home, traveling or staying on campus. I'd been calling him for a couple days with no response, not even to my text messages. I decided to be bold and go to his apartment. When he opened the door, he looked sad and his apartment looked a mess. He ended up telling me that his ex-girlfriend had just left. She wanted to get back together, but he told her it would never happen."

A.B. shook his head.

"She cheated on him during the summer, and when he returned to school that semester he admitted he just didn't care about anything anymore. He was heartbroken, but when he saw  me, he thought I would be the answer to his problem. He apologized for using me, and said he never wanted to see me again. The next semester, I just couldn't take it anymore and I dropped out." I shrugged my shoulders. "I spent years in a shell, thinking something was wrong with me, because I was too dumb to see that I was being used - my time, my education, my self-esteem, and my heart. I let him use it all because he was hurt by someone else. My last day on campus was when I saw him and another woman holding hands and being affectionate. They looked really happy together. When he said her name, I knew it was his ex. They got back together."

A.B. got up from the love seat and sat next to me on the sofa. "Thank you for telling me that. You didn't have to, but I think you needed to. Not for me, but for yourself."

"I think you're right," I stated.

"Jamie, thank you for asking me instead of accusing me. That let's me know that you trust me."

He was right. I could trust him.

"Before I forget," A.B. stood up and went to the kitchen. He grabbed something off the floor before standing up to reveal a glass vase of beautiful flowers.

My eyes lit up as I hopped off the sofa and skipped over to A.B. "Is this for me?"

He grinned, "Only you, my girlfriend."

I took the bouquet of pretty flowers and admired them. "Thank you, bae!"

"You're welcome, baby. I know you didn't get to take your nap. So, we won't do anything today."

I replied, "Oh, good!"

A.B. chuckled.

I looked at the various purple flowers in awe. He was so thoughtful. "Thank you for being kind and considerate of me," I told him.

"You will get nothing less from me." His eyes said it all, and I believed him.

My next move surprised me. I gently grabbed his chin and kissed his lips.

A.B. wrapped one arm around my waist.

Without thinking, I let go of the bouquet to wrapped both my arms around his neck. Then, I remembered the bouquet and looked to see that A.B. was holding it with his other hand.

We looked at one another and laughed. I think I've gotten to a place where sadness doesn't exist - Candyland.