Chapter Save your Tears

I continue to walk, I can’t even see the headquarters building anymore. I carry my shoes in my hands, walking aimlessly through the tall grass.

“Haven’t I suffered enough? Haven’t I always done what you asked of me?” I speak out into the open.

Dark clouds roll in the distance, the wind pulling them through the sky. I laugh maniacally into the open air. Why not add rain to my misery?

I turn sharply, ready to walk back when I see him approaching, walking slowly toward me. I’m not ready to talk to him, I don’t want to know why this, the happiest day of my life, has been ruined because my mate looks miserable to have found me.

I walk toward him, my steps are sure and angry. He stops when we get close but I continue walking past him.

He growls and charges after me.

“Sorsha, stop and talk to me!”

“Why should I? This was supposed to be the best day of my life. You’ve ruined it! I waited my whole life for you and as soon as we met you look miserable then ran away like your fucking ass was on fire!”

I’m screaming by the end of my rant, hot tears spilling down my cheeks.

“Please, don’t cry,” his voice sounds desperate.

I cover my face in my hands and turn away from him. He pulls me into his arms and his chest hums against mine.

“I... I wasn’t expecting to find you. Now that I have my wolf won’t let you go. We’ll figure this out.”

“I know that I’m not the ideal mate but...”

He cuts me off, “what do you mean? Why?”

“I don’t have a wolf in the normal sense...”

“How? I can smell it?”

“I’m a spirit wolf. I can’t shift but I have a wolf, I can feel her and she can take control.”

“Can you mark me?”

I glower at him and release my canines, “I can, bold of you to assume I will.”

I’m talking a lot tougher than I actually feel. I’m hurting on the inside, longing for my mate to love me instantly.

“You really can’t control anything about the information you get?”

“Absolutely nothing. The Goddess is in charge.”

A strange look passes over his face. I don’t know him well enough to understand it but he looks upset.

We walk for a few moments, his hand over mine. I feel confusion through the bond. When I look up at him his brows are furrowed and he’s deep in thought. I can sense the war in him. I don’t know why he is so tormented but I can feel that it’s because of me.

He stops after a moment and pulls me up into his arms, carrying me through the field.

I open my mouth to protest but he stops me.

“You’re barefooted, let me carry you.”

My wolf is happy, reveling in the attention from our mate. I, however, am not so happy. I should punch him and force him to let me down.

I don’t understand his reaction earlier but I am going to be cautious. I don’t want to let my guard down too much regardless of what my wolf or the moronic bond have to say about it.

As we approach the building my brother is sitting outside. He stands when he sees us.

“Dad wants to go home tonight,” he tells me, “he and Alpha Rhys spoke and we aren’t needed for the rest of this conference.”

“When do we leave?”

Elijah tenses next to me.

“Soon,” is all he says before nodding his head to the present Alpha and walking back inside.

“You’re going back?”

“Yes,” I try to sound unaffected, “I’ll pack and say goodbye to my aunt and I can come out to you in a week, if you want me to.”

He sighs and grabs my shoulders, “I want you to come with me. Sorsha, I’m not... you don’t understand...”

He’s holding back, “make me understand then, explain it to me.”

Instead of explaining anything he sets his jaw and nods curtly, “I’ll send for you in a week.”

Without another word he turns and walks toward the building. My eyes water but I won’t let the tears fall. If he’s going to be distant and guarded, so am I.

When I make it into the conference room I see him talking to my dad. They both look serious, quietly talking with deep scowls on their faces.

They shake hands as I approach and Elijah nods his head before turning to me. He brings his arm around my waist and pulls me toward him, bringing his mouth to my ear.

He’s too close, his smell is too intoxicating, my knees wobble.

“I’m coming for you in five days. That’s as long as I can give you.”

He breathes deeply against my neck before pressing a small kiss there. He stares into my eyes and I feel myself blush. He’s struggling to walk away.

He finally pulls himself away and I sigh both out of relief and sadness. Damn, the bond works quickly. I already have that empty longing that you feel when you know you’re going to miss someone.

“We’re leaving soon, stay close,” dad says in his gruff, emotionless voice before walking to speak to a few other Alphas.

I decide to go sit in the airplane where it’s quiet. I want to call Aunt Gem.

Sitting in the silence by myself I hold my breath as the line rings. As soon as I hear her voice I burst into tears.

I sob into the phone as I recount every detail of the day, the shock and horror on his face when he realizes who I am, the way he ran away.

“He says he can’t let me go now that he’s found me. Gemma, I feel like it’s the bond, that’s the only reason he wants me to be with him, because his wolf feels the bond and won’t let him leave me. If it was up to him I think he would.”

I choke on heaving breaths as I try to quiet myself before I am joined by several Alphas.

“You can’t know what he’s thinking, sweet Sorsha,” her soft voice soothes me.

“I can feel it, Gem,” my voice shakes, “I can see it in his eyes. He’s fighting within himself. He doesn’t want me but he can’t leave me,” my voice cracks and another sob pushes through my chest.

“Come see me when you get back, love. No matter what time, I’ll be waiting for you.”