Chapter Yellow

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Consciousness comes back slowly. When my eyes are finally open I’m in a hospital room. A small smile spreads over my lips when my eyes land on him. He’s pulled a chair up next to my bed, leaning forward so that his face is on my mattress. His hand is under mine, holding it gently in his.

He looks exhausted, even while he sleeps. I don’t want to wake him so I sit still.

I sit, enjoying the peace while he breathes softly against my hand.

I think back over the last few days. I don’t know how to tell him about the things that Michael told me, the things involving his family.

I don’t want to cause him any further pain.

I have to stop myself from running my fingers through his hair. It’s longer than normal. He usually keeps his hair perfectly faded on the sides. I like it a little longer on the sides.

My chest starts to ache and I want to ask for something for the pain.

I decided to hold out for fifteen minutes, I don’t know when he fell asleep but this will give him an hour since I woke up.

I curl my toes and try to breathe quietly through the pain. My chest burns, I remember the feeling of being flayed open and all the blood. I wonder how bad the damage is.

The nurse call button is over the rail on my bed. If I stretch slightly I think I can reach it.

I reach my hand over and a whimper slips past my lips.

Elijah shoots up.

“Sorsha! What’s wrong, baby? What do you need?”

Tears burn in my eyes.

“My chest hurts,” I whisper.

He runs to the door and flings it open roughly.

“I need a nurse now! She’s in pain, somebody bring some fucking medicine!” His voice booms through the quiet hospital. He’s using his Alpha voice but I recognize the frantic desperation.

“Elijah,” I whisper, “I’m alright. Come sit, please.”

He yanks at his hair.

“You’re not alright, baby. He ripped your chest open,” his voice cracks, “I need you not to be in pain.”

I smile at him. I understand, if our positions were reversed I would feel the same way.

He reluctantly sits but his leg shakes anxiously until the doctor walks in.

“So good to see you awake, Luna!”

“Dr. Carver? We’re at home?” I turn to Elijah.

“He had you about thirty minutes from here,” he tells me and my mind is blown. I felt so far away while I was with him.

“I’m going to put some pain relief in your i.v, and then I’m going to change your bandages. You had two very large lacerations to your chest. Luckily, it looks like he missed you with all of his claws, otherwise you might not have made it. You also have bruising to your face and several fractured ribs. You’re going to be sore for awhile but you will recover fully with time and rest.”

“It would be pretty cool to have wolf healing right about now,” I smile at Elijah but he doesn’t break from his misery.

“It’s not funny, Sorsha, don’t joke about it. You’re hurt.”

We hold hands while Dr. Carver changes my bandages. By the time he’s done I can feel the pain in my chest starting to subside. With each breath I can take in a bit more air. As my body relaxes Elijah relaxes next to me..

When we’re alone I turn to him. He needs to know everything that Michael told me.

“Elijah, there are some things I want to share with you, some things Michael told me...”

“About why he was after my family and how he used drugs to induce a psychotic break in my mom?”

I blink, “um, yeah, exactly.”

He lifts a stack of at least two hundred papers off of the table beside the bed.

“We found this...manifesto. He wrote it all down.”

I squeeze his hand, “I’m so sorry.”

“The thing is... my dad was right. I’m sorry his wife died but any Alpha would have done the same. No one is going to let random rogues onto their land. His rage was misplaced. He should be mad at rogues. If they weren’t lawless and dangerous we wouldn’t feel the need to protect our packs from them. Then to kill the census and records staff? He was...”

“Wait, what?”

“He didn’t tell you that part? The attack on the council lodge was him. He blamed the staff at the council for not getting through the background checks fast enough. The wolves he killed weren’t even the ones who worked on his wife paperwork! They checked.”

“How did Ben sit on our couch and tell you about that attack, all the while knowing he was responsible for it?”

“I don’t know, baby. I thought Ben was a good kid. I never detected any deception or lies from him.” He shakes his head sadly.

“He’s one wolf, Elijah. Don’t let him ruin this for you. Every other wolf that goes through your program is so grateful to you. They take the training seriously and want to learn from you.”

He nods his head, considering what I said.

“Um...there’s one more thing, your dad is here. As soon as you went missing he sent your brothers to help with the search. I haven’t let him come in but if you want to see him I can get him.”

“Will you stay?”

“They would have to drag me away,” he finally smiles.

He links Julian to have my dad sent in.

Not two minutes later there is a light knock on the door.

Elijah tenses as my dad walks in.

“Do you mind if I sit?” He sounds... apprehensive, not like himself at all.

He takes a chair and brings it to the end of my bed.

“Would it be possible to talk to my daughter alone?” He asks Elijah with a respectful tone that Alphas use with each other.

“No, it wouldn’t be,” Elijah’s voice is tight.

My dad looks taken aback, “o-ok. Um... Sorsha, I don’t know how to tell you this... how to explain. I know I haven’t been a father to you. Your mom would be so disappointed in me but,” his voice cracks and a tear slides down his cheek, “I can’t even look at you. I don’t blame you for her death. I know you weren’t responsible for that but...you her, Sorsha. You look like her, you laugh like her, you have the same cluster of freckles under your left eye and across your nose. All these years you were a perfect daughter, the kind of daughter that any parent would wish for. But...even your choices were like her. Did you know that she played piano and spoke French? I know that you were reaching out, looking for my approval by becoming so accomplished. I just... I want you to know that you aren’t to blame for my failure. The loss of a mate is... there aren’t even words. I died that day. You deserved better, I know that but... it...I...”

“You did the best you could. It wasn’t good enough but its all you could do,” I say softly with no malice or anger.

He nods, “I can see the love between the two of you. I’m happy you found one another. You’re a good man, Elijah. Thank you for giving my daughter the love and acceptance that I couldn’t.”

Elijah nods and squeezes my hand.

When my dad leaves I feel lighter. After finding Elijah I can understand his actions more. I forgive him for his inability to be the parent I needed, I think I always did.

“I can’t wait to go home,” I whisper to Elijah as he leans down to kiss me softly.

“I can’t wait to get you home. I never want to be more than a few feet from you.”

I let out a mangled, huffy laugh while holding my ribs.

“Hey, what were you talking about singing flowers?”

“Um...what?”

“When we mind linked the first time I was asking you if you knew where you were and you said you were with singing flowers.”

“Hmm... I have no idea...”