Chapter Lonely Boy

I can’t sleep after the events of this evening. My girl is curled into my chest, her soft breathing soothing my frayed nerves.

How the fuck did someone get in here? Whoever this rogue is, he must have a death wish. He has no idea who he’s fucking with. Not only do we have more warriors than any other pack, I designed the program. I’m the first graduate.

The rogue got in through a storm drain in the mountains. Its so small a grown, male wolf barely fits through it. My security team began working to fill it with concrete immediately. Our blueprints showed one similar drain thats also being filled. We’ll work out a new system. Fuck.

I move a piece of hair out of her face. Her eyes are swollen and it makes my chest ache.

I have to fix this shit. I’ve hurt her enough for a whole lifetime, never again.

I almost want to laugh when I think back to how stupid I was. I actually begged the Moon Goddess not to give me a mate.

Then I was going to mark Layla and choose her as my Luna. What the fuck was I thinking?

I don’t know how to describe this feeling. I can’t put into words what its like to have something that you never knew you needed or wanted. It’s like I was lost since my dad died. I didn’t even realize that I’d been holding my breath all this time. Then she came in and it’s like inhaling fresh air.

My wolf has been mad at me since we met. My initial reaction, the lies, her crying, even one of those things would have been enough to infuriate him and I did them all.

The look on her face when she burst through my door will be burned into my heart forever. The hurt in her eyes. I could feel her broken heart, that I caused.

I really fucked this up.

I send a few quick texts. I’m not the best with words so I start to plan and set up the most ‘me’ way of fixing this.

I fix this, baby. I’ll show you how much I love you.

For the next few hours I move quickly and quietly, trying to get things done before she wakes up.

I finish and tuck my notebook away just as she starts to stir.

Her sleepy green eyes flutter open and she looks up at me.

“Why are you awake so early?”

God, her raspy morning voice sends a flood of energy straight to my cock.

“I’m just making sure no one else gets in.”

She sits up and her robe pulls beneath her, causing it to tighten over her chest. Her nipples press into the silky fabric and I have to bite back a groan.

“Did you sleep at all?”

“I’m alright.”

“That’s not an answer,” she purses her soft, full lips.

“I didn’t but I’m alright.”

“Get some sleep. I’ll go grab breakfast.”

“Absolutely not. You’re not going anywhere alone.”

I cautiously scoot my hand toward hers. When our pinkies touch she flinches. I feel a physical ache in my chest, as real as any cut. She doesn’t move her hand away so I interlock our fingers.

She smiles up at me but it doesn’t reach her eyes. I noticed it last night too. There is a sorrow in her eyes that wasn’t there before. Her life has been so lonely but she still had a twinkle in her eye. A few days with me and it’s been replaced with pain.

I feel overwhelmed with guilt and regret. My body moves before my mind can catch up. I snatch her up into my lap, holding her against my chest.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I rock her against me.

“Elijah,” she whispers, looking up at me, “I just need some time. That’s all. To prove that I can trust you again. Just don’t lie to me anymore.”

“I just want you to know that I know I was wrong. I’m... I wish I could go back and change so many things.”

I run my hand over her soft hair.

“Sorsha?”

“Mmm?”

“What exactly did Layla say to you about our relationship?”

I know this is dangerous territory but I need to be sure that she didn’t lie or make it seem like I was in love with her.

“Umm... just that you were with me because of the bond, because you have no choice. You actually chose her.” Her voice is small and sad and it makes me growl angrily.

“I chose her because she makes me feel...nothing. The insatiable need I feel for you, the love... I didn’t feel any of that. I’m so sorry she said anything to you. I should have told you.”

“Well, to be fair, I sort of understand where she’s coming from.”

My brows furrow, “whats to understand? What do you mean?”

“I mean... if you suddenly wanted to stop having sex with me... I might turn to some desperate measures too.”

I know she’s joking but she looks deadly serious. When her mouth twitches I feel a deep sense of relief. We’re going to be alright.

“Can I take you somewhere today?”

She looks up at me curiously, “sure.”

“Ok, pants and good walking shoes!” I tell her as I jump out of bed.

She slides out slowly and walks toward her closet. I watch her, her graceful steps, the sway of her hips, her ass under the silk of her robe.

God, I want her so bad.

When she disappears into the closet I rub my palm over my rock hard length. I would give anything for relief from this.

I groan and make my way to my closet.

Focus, Elijah!

We’ll need a backpack, towels, and water. As I get the supplies and change I hear her leave the room. I start to rush, feeling anxious with her out of arms reach.

I jog down the stairs to find her in the kitchen, making coffee and warming bagels under the toaster.

“Cream cheese? Butter and jam?” She questions.

“However you take yours.”

“Cream cheese it is...” she turns and goes back to what she’s doing.

I have to take a deep breath. She’s wearing yoga pants. Shit.

Her perfectly sculpted legs and round ass are tightly wrapped in black fabric. I’m going to maul this woman.

“Do you want to eat here or take it to go?”

“We can eat here.”

I slide into a stool as she places coffee and bagels in front of me and in front of the place beside me.

“What happened last night?” She asks over her coffee cup.

We eat as I share the details with her.

“What the fuck? A storm drain? Who could be doing this?” Her face is etched with confusion.

“I have no idea...”

I rinse the plates and link Julian to tell him where we’re going.

I really hope today goes well, that she likes this place. I want the hurt in her face and the hesitation in her movements gone. I want her to trust me. I know that will come with time, today I’ll take the first step.