The both of us were sitting facing the sea. I felt the sandy texture beneath my feet as I brought them near my chest. Wrapping my arms around my knees I tilted my head to look at Alec.
I opened my mouth to say something but then closed it.
He had his legs spread in front of him while supporting the top of his body on his arms.
"You wanted to say something?" He asked. His eyes were still glued to the sea.
I cleared my throat before looking ahead. I shook my head, "Nothing."
"Liar." He said before turning his head to look at me, "I can tell when you want to say something... What is it?"
I bit my lip lightly before taking in a deep breath, "That day. When you came to my house and saw the paintings you said that you could tell that I loved my parents." He nodded his head, "Is that all you could read?"
I looked at him intently. He didn't waver and stared right into my soul.
"Was there supposed to be more?" He asked raising one of his eyebrows.
He couldn't tell. He couldn't read me completely after all. And there was no point in continuing the conversation if he couldn't tell.
I was glad but at the same time there was a part of me who wished that he saw it. Without me having to tell it, I wished someone finally knew what could have gone wrong or what has already gone wrong.
"Not at all." I smiled.
He was silent and I could still feel his eyes on me, "You removed the paintings, didn't you?" He asked slowly.
I snapped my head to his. H-How did he know? I took them the next day itself. The paintings which should have been removed way earlier were still on the walls, of course I had to take them down to forget those memories.
"I-" he put his fingers on my lips making me go quiet.
"Just because I didn't say anything doesn't mean I didn't notice it."
I removed his finger from my lips and stared at him, "What do you mean?"
He sighed, "That you are lonely. You crave for those family moments again."
"I am not lonely." I said a little sourly.
"Sure." He replied.
"I am serious!"
"Alright." He gave me a knowing look which clearly said that he didn't believe me.
It was silent for a while.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked in a soft voice.
"About what?" I was alert.
I kind of anticipated what he meant. But still I asked him to be sure.
"About your family. What happened?" He asked and turned to his side to face me completely.
I gulped a little nervous. It was not something I was comfortable to talk about until now. Him looking at me was not helping either.
"Do I have to?"
He thought for a while before falling flat on his back and putting his hands behind his neck he looked at the dark clear sky, "No, if you don't want to."
I looked at his side profile and noticed the way his nose scrunched up.
Do I want to? Am I ready to tell someone about it? And is that someone Alec?
But I do feel comfortable with him. Enough to make me want to tell him about it. If he could open up to me about his mother I am sure I can talk to him about this.
I took a deep breath, "I always thought that my family and life was perfect. A loving parents. A good school. Friends. Money. Everything." Alec looked at me surprised that I was telling him about this. I gave him a small smile before nodding my head in affirmative, "The memories with my mom and dad were so happy and beautiful that it never occurred to me that they were falling apart piece by piece in silence.
Until, dad just left one day. Out of nowhere.
He left us a note that he felt suffocated and couldn't pretend anymore. He wanted a divorce, which he eventually got." I rolled my eyes and chuckled in a mocking way.
"But the fact that he was just pretending hit me the most. After all, my family wasn't perfect at all. If anything it was far from being one. I was lied to. I was in a delusion. My parents weren't in love as they showed and it was just an act.
I doubt if my happy memories were even real. What if they were just pretending to smile?" I looked at Alec in a questioning way.
I don't know what I was expecting but I felt warm when I felt his hand on mine as he rubbed circles to calm me down.
"I am so afraid to think that it might not have been real that I like to convince myself that it was all real. That the paintings in the room were real. I want to convince myself that they were telling the truth. That we were indeed a happy family once."
"Where is your dad now?" I looked at Alec before lying down beside him.
"Not in the country anymore. He moved out. Where? I don't know. Only mom does and I never asked her. I don't want to know because it is easier this way."
"Is that why you didn't come to school?"
"I know it doesn't seem like a big deal. But for me it was. It still is. A person who always grew up to be in a loving family and always thought that nothing could go wrong was hit with a bomb saying that all of that was a lie. Of course I took it hard.
Besides, I had to be there for mom as they went on with the process of divorce. And as much as I was emotionally drained, so was she. So I took a break from school to be with her....Well now she has to work as a nurse in a hospital with long shifts to keep up with the money."
"Is that why you aren't able to meet with your mom?" He asked.
I hummed in response while looking at stars.
I could feel him letting out a deep sigh as he went into a deep thought.
Now that I have told someone about it I felt a little light. I always wanted to tell Max and Henry about it but at the time I wasn't ready to talk about it to anyone especially when the both of them were close to my dad too. And later, I didn't want them to worry about me. Also, telling them now feels like I would be just informing them. And I know that they would be just upset with me.
But I will tell them because I am ready now. I thought it would be impossible to talk about it but it wasn't that bad.
I think I am finally letting go of my dad after realising that trying to hold onto him would just cut me deeper.
Sometimes it was just better to let go than holding on.
"I will be here for you." I heard him mumble from beside me.
I tilted my head to look at him in surprise.
Slowly, he moved his head to look back at me through his eyes which were the shade of ocean right now, "I know how it feels to come home without any parents. To not have those warm hugs whenever you had a bad day, Someone to share your worries with. I know it all."
A sad smile made its way onto his way letting me know that he understood me all very well because we were just two different people sharing the same pain.
"So Serene, be there for me like I'll be there for you." He was serious. The look on his face was telling me that he was hella serious.
"I'll try." Was all I could say.
The aura had changed from playfulness to that of seriousness where two teenagers were just trying to find comfort in each other.
"Let's head home now." I said enthusiastically as I stood up and dusted off my pants to get rid off the sand.
Alec didn't question the sudden change in my mood and understood that I was trying to make it lively.
He took his phone out and checked the time.
"It's four in the morning. Are you sure you want to go now and miss a beautiful sunrise? We stayed here for the whole night and you want to miss the best part?!" He asked with a hint of disbelief.
I couldn't help but roll my eyes at his dramatic self.
But watching the sunrise never crossed my mind. Now when I think about it, he was right. I have never actually watched a sunrise. Not from the beach. Not with such a beautiful sight. Not with Alec.
"Then let's wait for the sunrise and then head home." I smiled.
He grinned before ruffling my hair lightly, "Let's do that."
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The sun was finally starting to show up at the horizons. The sky was spread with the beautiful wine colours as I looked at the sky in awe.
I got up excited.
"It's coming up." I looked at Alec with excitement.
I could hear him giggle as he stood up and stood beside me.
"In just a few minutes the sun would be up in the sky." He replied.
Using his fingers he made a frame and looked at the sun through his fingers. Then turning his fingers towards me he looked at me with one eye closed.
"Pretty." He whispered to himself.
I couldn't help but blush a little as I looked down at my feet and tugged a strand of my hair behind my ear.
"Let's come here whenever it rains." He said casually.
This moment felt so right. So right that I didn't want to let this slip away. Before it was too late I wanted him to know about my feelings.
I don't know how long I could go by suppressing my feelings for him. I know he is already aware by now but I still want him to know. I know he has been trying to avoid my feelings but I cannot let him be selfish anymore.
My feelings were growing towards him and I am a person who likes to keep her feelings under control. So before my feelings aren't under my control anymore I just want him to know.
Because I cannot afford to give him more of me without expecting anything in return. Because I do. I want him. And I want him to like me for Serenity. And not for a person who is just a shadow of Liya.
And I just want to clear this at once.
"Alec?" I called his name. The sun was almost completely out by now.
"Yeah?" He said in a low voice without removing his eyes from the sun.
"I like you."
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