Chapter 18: Chapter Eighteen

Demetri

“Come on.” I unlocked the car and got in.

“How's Alec going to get home?” Nat asked, staring back at the school like Alec was going to magically come bursting through the doors.

Her kiss was different.

She kissed me hella hard. Not the type of kiss I was used to from her. It wasn't shy; it was—angry.

But the anger? Not directed at me. Otherwise, she wouldn't have gotten in the damn car.

I started the car and sighed. “I left Lloyd with him, he'll catch a ride. Don't worry, my brother is very capable of taking care of himself.”

“Right.” She flashed a grin.

“So…” I put the car in reverse. “I have all afternoon and then I need to go to your mom's for an appointment.”

“Do you guys go every week?” Nat twisted a piece of hair in front of her face and didn't make eye contact.

“Yup.” I watched her. Watched her and she wasn't even aware I was watching her. She was… somewhere else.

Her cheeks turned pink. “You and Alec.”

Silence and then, “Of course.”

She huffed and rolled her eyes. “When are you going to trust me?” The car stopped at the stop sign leading out into traffic.

“When I know I can.” I looked into her eyes—guilt was written in every feature on her face. She may as well have a sign on her head that said “I'm sorry.” What the hell happened this afternoon?

The way I saw it, we had two choices. I could stick my head in the sand or I could put it all out there and hope that in the end, I was enough for her.

I cursed and pulled the car over to the side of the road. “Wanna tell me right here and right now so we can get this over with?”

“What do you mean?”

I laughed and looked out the window. Wow. She was going to play totally innocent. “I think you know exactly what I mean.”

Her breathing picked up as she looked away and swallowed, then pressed her hand to her chest as if she was trying to calm herself down.

I cursed. “My brother is off limits. I don't share.” Been there. Done that. The toy broke. And my heart was lost in the process.

“And I do?” she blurted. “What about the cheerleader you were making out with at the party?”

I hit the steering wheel and cursed. “I thought you were over that! It was a mistake! Alright? Besides, this is different.” And it was different. Girls didn't understand how guys worked.

I don't even remember the chick's name. I didn't care then, don't care now. It's possible for us to be just… physically all over someone without having an emotional attachment.

“It's different how? You want me to trust you? Then you have to trust me!” Her voice shook.

“He's my brother, Nat. There are things you don't know. It wouldn't be the first time a girl had the hots for both of us and went for it, okay?”

“I'm not that kind of girl.”

“You sure?” I snapped, mainly because she was about as unconvincing as a person could get.

“That was uncalled for.” Hands shaking, she opened the door to the car, climbed out, and began walking up the street in the opposite direction.

“Nat, stop!” I ran after her and pulled her into my arms. “I'm sorry, I just get so damned jealous. I see the way he looks at you.

“The way you look at him.” I was fishing for information—for anything that would tell me which direction her thoughts were heading. I was already sunk—in way too deep.

If she pushed me away now—well, how could I survive it? When my heart had just started to heal? When my soul still felt so fragile I wanted to sob like a little kid?

“It's not like that.” Her eyes were glossy with unshed tears. “It won't ever be like that. Believe me, he's made it very clear where his loyalty lies.” Well, shit. He rejected her.

I sighed, looking away from her so I could process the information. “But have you made your intentions known?

“Have you made your choice, Nat?” When she didn't answer I tilted her chin towards me and whispered against her cheek. “Because up until now, I've had my doubts.”

Her eyes flickered for a minute before shutting me out completely. “I want you.”

Wow. That hurt. More than I thought it would. Our first lie. Our first fight. The first time I finally realized that our relationship would never be equal. She'd always want him. And me?

How messed up was that?

Furthermore, how messed up was it that I was so desperate for anything from that girl that I was willing to take whatever she wanted to offer me.

Damn it, if she would have trampled on her own heart and then handed it to me, I would have received it with all the humility and gratefulness I possessed. Nat was a treasure.

One I vowed that one day, I'd win. I'd deserve.

Starting now.

I forced a wide grin. “You mean it?” I kissed her lips. “Tell me you mean it.” My hands went to her hair, threading it through my fingers.

“I mean it.” She returned my kiss, pressing her lips against mine then retreating as I spoke against them.

“I really care about you, Nat. I've never felt this way before.” My tongue caressed her lower lip, then slid into her mouth.

“Me either,” she said, her little body was shaking so bad I wanted to sob.

I kissed her again. Our mouths met, and it was like a decision was made in her mind. She wrapped her small arms around my neck and held on for dear life.

My body trembled beneath her touch. Had she any idea what she did to me? What just her touch did to calm my aching soul? I kissed her again but was interrupted by someone honking their horn.

“Food?” I asked.

“Food.” She nodded and held my hand.

I never wanted her to let go.