Chapter 20: 20. Natasha: An Unexpected Reunion

Elphy’s gaze followed Natasha’s as she stepped up beside her. “That’s Nicodemus—his grandma lives here. Hm, weird, I usually only see him in the summer.”

“In summer?” It was tough for Natasha to even string those words together. That lined up, Nick was always gone during the breaks to visit his grandma. “He’s one of my best friends back home. I just can’t believe it, maybe it’s not the same person… it can’t be.”

“Are we supposed to avoid him?” Elphy sounded confused as she tugged on Natasha’s sleeve.

Natasha’s heart leapt out of her chest as Nick turned towards them and began to walk their way as he stared at the ground. In a rush she grabbed Elphy and pulled her into a nearby alley.

Natasha had to make the decision to avoid him or not. Why was she even hesitating, this was exactly what she wanted, right? Natasha had known him since elementary school, they’d shared their deepest secrets with each other. At least she thought she had. Them and Derby. How could he have kept this from them? Wait, he must think she’s dead, with their home burning down. Natasha’s face twisted as she panicked.

“Ah, uh, damn it—” Natasha whispered under her breath. This was her chance. “Nick?”

As he was passing she lunged towards him and grabbed his hand. Startled Nick tried to pull away with a loud expletive. Natasha managed to hang on and repeated his name before she yanked on him and started running down the road at random, giving him little choice but to be dragged along.

“Okay, I guess this is happening!” Elphy excitedly began to push Nick from behind. “Hey Nick, sorry for this. Turn left before the big building at the end of the street!”

“Delphine? Wait, what’re you doing?” Nick’s head flicked back and forth from Elphy to the girl pushing him. “I’m not up for any jokes right now, please.”

His voice was thick and coarse like he had a cold. Natasha didn’t slow as she turned down a gently sloping side street. It went up a hill that looked to be some kind of park but she couldn’t make out much as she ran past with the sun beginning to set obscuring it in long shadows.

The street ended abruptly, spilling out into a snow covered knoll that had a statue on its edge overlooking the valley below. A banister stopped her pulling any further off a cliff. Finally, breathless, she let go of Nick. He instantly turned on Elphy.

“What the hell was that for?” He yelled, his voice cracked. “I said—”

Natasha interrupted him and hugged Nick from behind. Whatever he was about to say fell away as he stood awkwardly with Natasha wrapping her arms around his chest. She started to bawl, her emotions from the last few days spilling over.

“Nick, Nick, it’s me,” Natasha managed after a moment. “It’s Natsa.”

He ripped her arms off her, and whipped around to face his friend. His face was all at once full of disbelief, shock, and anger. Wordlessly he backed away from her shaking his head.

“You’ve got to be joking, this isn’t real.” He bumped into Elphy. “Stop playing around Elphy, this isn’t funny.”

Elphy pouted. “I’m not. She’s the one that recognized you.”

Nick stared at Natasha as she grabbed her arm awkwardly and looked at the ground.

“N-Natsa, that’s really you?” His voice warbled on the verge of tears as he stepped toward her hand outstretched. “It is, isn’t it? But they said you were… it was all over the news. You didn’t reply to our texts…”

“Yeah Nick, it’s me. I’m here—everything is so messed up.”

In a flash Nick’s arms flung around her and held her tightly. He too let the floodgates open and both of them spent a few minutes crying into each other’s shoulders. Elphy stood off to the side quietly looking out into the valley below to let them have their moment. Eventually though, the tears dried and Nick broke the hug again to stare at Natasha, still holding onto her arms.

“I don’t… understand how you’re even here,” Nick said. “I mean, I always wondered if you were, you know, Adept. Your parents never said anything and… well, my mom told me it was rude to bring it up.”

“Honestly, I don’t even know what is happening, Nick.” Natasha cleared her eyes of tears. “I had no idea about all this magic stuff. Mom never—she kept it all secret from us.”

“Your parents hid it from you?” He sounded incredulous as his brows fell. “I’ve never heard of something like that happening. But then why are you here?”

“All I know is my mom disappeared the day we left for that roadtrip.” Natasha pinched her arm, trying to keep herself grounded in the present as the memories gripped her mind. “Dad said he was taking us to Dinir to keep us safe. I think... I think there was something dangerous my mom was trying to hide from us.”

“Like a family secret?”

“I don’t know, people are looking for me, and they’re hurting my family to get me. M-my dad’s disappeared now too, and Damon is still unconscious.”

Nick fell silent squeezing Natasha’s shoulders, she looked into his eyes. It was the first time she really paid attention to them with the bright pink of the sunset glinting in them catching her eyes. She could see a faint glow of his grey blue eyes cutting through the oranges and golds they were bathed in. They contained a steel grey stormy sea; something deep and unknowable swam just below its surface.

She breathed out slowly recognizing the magic crackling beyond his physical self. Natasha wondered idly if that’s why he suspected her of being Adept, the eyes were the windows to your soul. Something like that anyway. It had always made Natasha uncomfortable to look at her own eyes too closely in a mirror. Perhaps she could tell there was something… wrong with them.

“Hey, I’m here. We’ll figure this out okay?” He rubbed her arms, trying his best to console his friend. “There’s gotta be answers right—Elphy?”

Elphy, surprised to be brought into the intense moment, piped up, “right, yup, of course! Remember your mom left something at the lodge right? Maybe there’s some answers there?”

Natasha nodded, Elphy was right. With a sigh she looked up to the statue standing tall above them. It was of a cluster of people, what she assumed to be Otherfolk of all kinds and humans dancing around a tree whose gnarled branches reached out to the now darkening sky. Its black stone canopy glowed brilliantly like it had many tiny nebulae trapped in its leaves. Natasha wasn’t sure what came next.

“Nick, could you come to the Lodge soon?” She finally asked. “I need help, all I can get.”

“‘Course, mom said I could take all the time I needed with grandma,” Nick answered very quickly. “Should I keep this whole, ‘the Sinclairs are actually still alive' thing a secret?”

Natasha glanced at Elphy not sure what the answer was. “To be safe, probably. I think, whatever mom was wrapped up in, she wanted to make sure that we were kept hidden.”

“Sure. I can act sad, no problem.” Nick feigned tearing up. “Seriously though, your mom was not the kind of lady I thought would have some kind of secret past.”

“I wonder about that myself, she never seemed like that to me either. Really boring besides the anxiety about planning… and that she needed to know where we were at every moment…” Natasha thought back to her mom, working in a school library and having three kids.

She never had an interesting moment in her lifetime but those things began nagging at her. Natasha’s friends always complained how strict she was and that Natasha never got to go on any of the fun field trips their schools put on unless she could volunteer to watch.

“Everyone’s got their secrets, even moms,” Elphy chirped, with a smile.

“It sounds like you have experience.” Natasha quirked up an eyebrow earning her a wink from Elphy.

Tucker, who’d followed the teens at a distance, barked warning them that someone was approaching the little group. They all stopped dead mid conversation and glared down the street.

Another dog Natasha recognized sprinted down the street toward them at full speed with his tongue lolling out. It was Elu, and behind him Benjamin was sauntering up, cigarette in hand.

“Ah, busted.” Elphy said, grimacing.

Elu and Tucker play-fought as the one bowled into the other. They rolled in the snow for a moment then both stood and licked at Ben’s hand as he walked up to the teens. He took a long drag from his cigarette before speaking.

Natasha looked over at Elphy and then Nick and interjected before he had a chance to speak. “Ah, Nick, this is Ben, my uncle.”

Benjamin blew out a trail of thick smoke which smelled harsher than any normal cigarette that Natasha had come across. His eyes flicked to Nick and he frowned.

“Nice to meet you, Ben.” Nick could feel the awkwardness hanging between them. “I know Natasha from school—”

“Pleasure’s mine, kid,” Ben interrupted his voice tense. “Time to head back to the Lodge you two.”

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It wasn’t a question and without seeing if they were following he made his way down the street. With wide eyes Elphy looked at Natasha.

“Ah, sorry…” she said with a shrug.

“We might’ve lied about where we were going.” Natasha looked over to Nick. “I guess we should go. Come by when you can, okay?”

“Look who’s discovered she can break the rules.” Nick laughed and put his arms on his hip. “Full of surprises. He looked angry, are you good with him Natsa?”

“Remember the creep at school?” She gestured with her head and Nick gave an exaggerated ‘ohh’. “Don’t worry, Ben’s the one who made sure we got here safely. He’s just looking out for us. We’re good.”

“Right, well, I’ll make sure to drop by soon.”

Natasha nodded and after a quick hug she ran up behind the other two with Tucker chasing after her. Nick watched the group walk off not moving as they rounded the corner.

Along the way back Benjamin said nothing as he took slow puffs of his smoke. The sky was a hazy grey blue as the sun finally fell below the horizon. What little light that shone from the moon that crept up in the sky bounced off the snow, creating a brighter night than otherwise there would be. It was stiflingly quiet. Nothing but the little group moved through the snowy landscape around them as they turned onto the forest road.

Tucker ran up to the door of the lodge as it came into sight and waited for the three of them to catch up. The Lodge’s windows were dark still besides the hot glow from the fireplace that had been going before the girls had left.

Natasha felt a terrible guilt take hold of her. People were risking their lives to make sure she and her brothers remained safe and she disregarded their safety to go explore. As they climbed the stairs up to the porch Benjamin crushed the butt of the cigarette and put it in a jar that was on the banister.

Elphy went inside first giving Natasha an apologetic look. The firelight flickered as the cold wind whipped it around creating deep shadows that shuddered along the walls. Natasha’s skin pricked as she stepped through the threshold and was flooded with the warmth. Elu and Tucker trotted side by side to the fire curled up together in front of it.

“I think it’s best you go to bed Delphine,” Benjamin said. “Sasha, come over here. There’s something I’d like to talk to you about.”

He indicated to the sitting room where the dogs had made themselves comfortable. His voice was low, concerned, but there was no indication of anger or malice. Wordlessly, Natasha followed his directions and went to sit on one of the antique tall backed couches. She was too unsure of what Benjamin was wanting to talk about to make herself comfortable.

In the heat her jacket made her sweat profusely. She quickly shed her outer layers as she waited for Ben to make his way into the room. Anxiety welled up in her stomach and she curled up. Her cheeks felt numb as the wind chilled skin warmed quickly.

Benjamin stood over the fireplace with his hand gripping the mantle. He was deep in thought as he tried to make up his mind. With a heavy sigh he finally looked up at his niece.

“Maybe if I give you an idea of why it’s so important you remain safe you’ll be a bit more understanding.” He shifted, shaking his head and slumping a little bit in defeat. “I know this is all a lot. There are ideas and concepts you’ve never come into contact with. You’ve been thrust into this world you don’t have a clue about—”

Natasha didn’t reply, he seemed like he was stalling and she was worried now why he felt like he needed to.

“There are many things you’re going to have to learn, and I will need years to explain them all but on the ferry you asked why that hunter had called you a ‘Shard’.”

Natasha interrupted, “Elphy explained it to me. Something about reincarnated souls of some godlike figure which grant certain people the ability to cast magic.”

“That’s the very basic terms, yes, but Otherfolk don’t really have the same understanding of the realities of how Adept cast with the elements.” Benjamin went to sit in a wingback that matched the couch Natasha was on, and leaned forward lacing his fingers together while he looked to the floor. “Azag—some call them a god, they’re called the Order of the Eternal Soul, others believe they were only a human with ambition. In order to allow humans to cast ‘Natural’ magic, or that of elemental nature, they siphoned the aether through themself and into the human population. By shattering their soul into four and making sure those shards would continue to reincarnate forever into the future, Azag allowed for that ability to continue to be born into people. It is a feat no one has managed to replicate in any meaningful way.”

He took a long breath inward to steel himself then looked up finally and into Natasha’s eyes, “four souls, Earth, Water, Fire, and Air. You, Sasha are the third shard. Fire. Usually you would’ve known this early in life. Been brought into the Eternal Soul community and taught everything you needed to know. The Shards are very important people to those that believe in the Eternal Soul. Your mother, from the little I’ve been able to gather, learned something that made her take you away and hide you from all of that. Took you and herself away from your people.”

None of this made sense to Natasha. Shards, reincarnation, on top of all of this magic business felt totally made up. Yet somehow it clicked with her, while at the same time she wanted to push it all down—not think about it.

“Why, why would she do that? What does this mean about being hunted?” Natasha managed to stutter out.

“I have no idea. I wasn’t around at that time but was told your mom just…disappeared one day. Left everything behind except Tucker.” Tucker’s tail thumped on the ground hearing his name. “She had a fiance, had friends, and was getting ready to start her life with the Order to follow in your grandmother’s footsteps. She’d dedicated herself to those who protect the Shards of Azag. It made no sense at the time.”

Natasha didn’t know what to say. Having it confirmed that she was somehow extraordinary was daunting. Had her mom known she was a Shard and was trying to hide her? She even left a fiance. Who was that, where did her own father come into the picture? It was quickly becoming clear to Natasha that she didn’t know her mom at all.

“Is it this order that…that is hunting me? Aren’t they supposed to be looking after me if I’m a shard? Are they harming my family because of me?”

Shaking his head Benjamin sighed. That was something he didn’t want to answer. “You shouldn’t blame yourself for any of this, Sasha. Not for a single moment.” He straightened up. “But I can for certain say that yes, it is the Order that is after you. Your gran and I’ve been keeping an eye on them, suspecting they’d done something to her. I have a friend in their ranks who tipped me off. That’s why I was…”

Natasha stood up, anger boiling in her stomach. Her face darkened. “Why didn't you go to her? You should’ve gone to save mom!”

Hurt crossed his face and Benjamin deflated; his head falling into his hands. “That’s exactly what I… there wasn’t anything I could do. My contact only gave me the name of the town and said they’d located her. I used Elu and Angus to track her scent and he took me to you while Angus...”

Elu’s bright blue eyes opened and his tail thumped on the ground hearing his name. Natasha’s anger wavered. She couldn’t go around blaming Benjamin, he did come to her rescue and had tried to warn her. So she was back to the obvious conclusion: it was her that was bringing this blight down on her family. Mom was gone because she existed, dad was gone because of her not being able to control herself, and Damon was still unconscious because she’d not been able to take good care of him. She spiraled down that hole falling back to the couch. There was nothing else to say so instead she cried.

“It’s my fault, if I hadn’t lost control, if I’d warned mom more about the monster in our yard...” She cried out the tears spilling down her cheek.

Benjamin joined her on the couch and pulled her into a tight hug. Not saying anything for a long time just rocking her back and forth, just like her mom had always done when she was overcome with emotions. Eventually Natasha’s crying dried up, and she sat there taking in Benjamin’s musty smell of cigarettes and pine, and listening to his slow steady heartbeat. The rocking followed its calming rhythm.

“I’m here for you, Sasha. Anytime—every time.” Benjamin quietly said.

His voice echoed the words that Natasha’s mom always said to her whenever she had been sad. He really was family. A part of her wondered what it would have been like growing up with him around, wondering who had shown them such gentle love.

“Come on, there’s a tradition in our family that when nothing is going our way, we forget about it for a bit by enjoying a hot cup of cocoa,” he said, trying to give her a steady smile. “Does that sound good? I can show you the way gran makes it.”

He stood, cleared his eyes, then held a hand for Natasha to take. She nodded and took his hand to get up then followed as he made his way to the kitchen. Benjamin brought a stool to the counter and let Natasha sit as he prepared the kettle.

For a moment Natasha thought he was talking to her as he began to mumble something but it had a rhythm to it like a song or poem. As he spoke she realized she couldn’t understand the language and the cupboards where the mugs were opened on their own. Two large, handmade porcelain mugs floated out. Little sparkles of light trailed them like firebugs. As the mugs landed on the counter the motes danced around the rims like pixies, hopping and twirling. Natasha watched, intrigued.

With the kettle on the stove Benjamin turned to the spice rack and tapped the jars he wanted which each in turn flew up and tumbled into the air towards the mugs. Midair the lids popped off and for a moment Natasha thought all of its contents were going to spill but like streams of water the spices flowed out and landed into the waiting mugs. The jars closed and rejoined their counterparts back in the rack. Finally with several quick words the cocoa spilled from a cupboard shaped like birds and flocked to their destination and dove in like seabirds diving for fish.

The kettle’s high pitched whistle signalled the end of Ben’s incantation. Crossing to the fridge he grabbed a bottle of heavy cream and on the way he took a couple spoons from a drawer. Placing those on the counter Benjamin went back to the stove top and got the kettle.

“Alright, cream first,” He pointed at Natasha to have her pour it in which she did. “Now we mix those together!”

Natasha took the spoon Benjamin handed her and stuck it into the mug. The lights stopped their dance to swan dive in like a synchronized swim team. As she swirled the light turned into gold glitter making the mixture look like molten bronze.

“Great, keep it up.” With a lifetime of practice Benjamin deftly poured the hot water in.

The aroma of cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger filled the air as the water mixed with the spices. Natasha couldn’t hold back the smile as she watched the entire display. In this moment at least she felt at ease.

“There we go, just like gran says, this is a remedy for any ailment.” He turned the handle over for Natasha to take and as she did he clinked his own to hers. “She’s going to love meeting you, Sasha. Her and I worked a long time to find your mom. Once your brothers are able to travel we’ll go back to the house. It’ll be safer there, I think.”

“The house?” Natasha asked, confused by the significance.

“The family house, yeah. Been in the family for hundreds of years,” Ben explained. “Gran’s watched over it since she was little. It’s filled with memories of so many of our family through the generations.”

Natasha thought about that for a long time. A family home, lived in for generations. It sounded like a fairy tale. His wording reminded her of what Elphy had said earlier.

“Does it have a soul?”

“A soul?” He looked over at Angus who was lying quietly over in the corner of the room looking out the window. “Yeah, it does. Big ‘ol one, though she spends most of her time in the Otherwhere. Her and gran are best friends though.”

The two of them sat in the kitchen in silence. There was something about the hot chocolate that seemed to restore something inside of her. Warmth that Natasha hadn’t noticed was missing returned back to her veins as her tongue was coated in cocoa and cinnamon. It made her tired too, but in a pleasant way, not that absolute exhaustion she’d felt before. Comfortable. Natasha wondered if Ben had enchanted the drink.

The moon rose further above the trees and the outside lit up in its ethereal glow. The snow glittered unmarred by footprints. For that one moment all was peaceful. As she took the last sip from the mug Natasha could feel herself nodding off. She could hardly keep her eyes open.

“I think it might be bedtime.” Benjamin said quietly, he sounded so much like her mom.

Natasha, too tired to get up, crossed her arms on the counter and rested her head in it. “I’ll just rest my eyes for a bit, then I’ll head up.”

“Oh no you don’t.” Benjamin stood and with surprising strength lifted her up like she was a kid. His sweater was scratchy as he carried her up the stairs and put her to bed. “Goodnight, Sasha, see you in the morning.”

“G’night, Ben,” she mumbled back, cuddling into bed.