Chapter 17: 17. Natasha: Memories In Her Reflection

In the back of the lodge there was an expansive kitchen. Taking up the majority of the cooking pace was a brick oven. The other dominant item in the room was a huge dining table made from a full tree trunk that had been cut lengthways and polished. Aiden was sitting at the far end of picking at a hearty breakfast of meats, fried eggs, spinach and toast. He looked terrible. Bruised along the side of his face and his lips completely chapped. He didn’t notice the two of them as they walked in too focused on the grain of the wood in front of him.

“Aiden!” Natasaha sped over to her brother and gave him a tight hug from the side.

He yelped and Natasha pulled away as a fork shot towards her arm. “What the hell! I nearly forked your—”

Aiden looked angry for only a second before he realized who he was talking to. “Wait, Sasha? You’re up!”

Standing he returned her hug two fold making her wince. “Miss me?”

“It’s been so weird, waiting for everyone…I was so worried.” Aiden’s bright bronze eyes welled up with tears as he looked up at his sister. “Ms. Dubois said you just needed some time to heal. But, I just was really worried.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Aiden.” Natasha hugged her brother tight, holding back her own tears. “I’m here now, though, and Damon’s gonna be fine too. We still got each other.”

“Yeah, we do.” Aiden finally pulled away. “Come on, Delphine makes the best breakfast!”

“Aw, Aiden, you’re such a sweetheart.” Elphy ruffled his hair and took a seat at the table. “Food’s in the fridge, feel free to grab some, Natasha.”

A large growl came from Natasha’s stomach. She hadn’t realized just how hungry she had been until just then. The realization made her dizzy and she hurried to the fridge. It was stocked to the brim with all types of fresh veggies and other foodstuffs. Grabbing what was carefully wrapped and left over she quickly made herself a breakfast sandwich.

“Once you’re done eating, I can show you around town,” Elphy said, watching Natasha from the table. “It’s about a 10 minute walk from the Lodge.”

Natasha grabbed a plate and took a seat next to Aiden, across from Elphy.

“Town?” Natasha was surprised to hear that there was a town nearby. They looked like they were completely in the middle of nowhere. “I didn’t see anything like that outside the window.”

“Yeah! We’re in Dinir, one of the few Whistons in BC, it’s a little lame and tiny but,” Elphy started, shrugging. “It’s better than being stuck at the Lodge all the time. Even has a few restaurants and shops.”

“Wait—Whiston?” Natasha wasn’t sure she heard that right.

“Oh, right, your uncle said you guys didn’t know anything about—” she waved her hand vaguely at herself. “It’s a town where humans who’re aware of the larger world gather along with the Otherfolk like mom and I.”

“I don’t think Ben’ll let you go into town,” Aiden said with a frown. “He’s really worried there’s still things after us.”

“I’ll ask really nicely,” Elphy replied with a naughty grin.

Their conversation faded as Natasha’s mind wandered. There was a world Natasha had never considered existed. Though hazy memories of her forest friends floated into her mind before disappearing. Magic, not only was that real but people like the Dubois’ were real. The thought came to Natasha, she wondered what they were, Elphy and her mom were so beautiful and otherworldly, they must’ve been fairies right? It felt like a rude question to ask though.

“Did you want to check it out?” Elphy’s question brought Natasha out of her thoughts.

“Oh, yeah, yeah! Actually, I think I’d like that,” Natasha said, letting herself get a bit excited. She needed to get away from the thoughts that swam just under the surface of her mind and learning about this new unknown world was the easiest way to not think. “Aiden, wanna join us?”

He thought for a moment, then said, “I think I’ll stick around here and wait for Damon.” He picked at the last bit of food on his plate. “But you go ahead, Sasha, get out and tell me all about it when you get back.”

Natasha nodded, her mouth full already with as much food as she could fit. Not taking a breath she wolfed down the meal. Hearing people in the kitchen, Tucker came sniffing, and he was too cute to say no too as his nose poked above the table edge. One link of sausage went to him which he gobbled down in an instant. Natasha scratched him behind the ears earning a big wet lick from Tuck.

“You mentioned there’s no signal for cell phones at all here, even in town?” After scarfing down most of her breakfast Natasha’s brain was finally functioning a little better.

Elphy shook her head. “Not really no, there’s no wifi either, it’s all gotta be wired in with this super thick protective shielding. We got some internet here but it’s better at the library, ours is really slow.”

“Right, we’re in the middle of nowhere.”

Natasha had always thought Nanaimo and the whole Island north of Duncan was rural but she had been proven wrong. At least there they had 4G signal and all the amenities a teen could want.

“Well, I’m done eating,” Natasha said, finishing up the last morsel of breakfast. “Ah! Just one more bit!”

With one quick motion Natasha speared Aiden’s last remaining sausage with a fork and stole it from his plate. In one swoop the sausage was up to her lips. Aiden took a second to react but complained too late as she gave him a cheeky grin and took a bite.

Elphy got up and took both of their plates as the siblings began jabbing at each other with their fingers. Somehow, when she turned back to them after placing the dishes in the washer, Natasha had her brother in a headlock with him trying to pinch her arm off. They both laughed, enough their cheeks warmed, enjoying the moment.

“Alright! I’ll just tell Benjamin and mom that we’re gonna explore the forest. We’re very safe in the trees so they definitely won’t say no.” Natasha dropped Aiden as soon as Elphy smiled at her.

“Right! Good idea, they don’t need to know we’re going further. And you’re not gonna tell ‘em right Addy?” Natasha tousled Aiden’s hair and was rewarded with a groan and a shove.

Aiden grimaced then shook his head. “Fine, fine. You make sure you come back though.”

“I won’t be out long. Oh, I guess I need to get my jacket and boots.”

The two girls made their way to the front of the Lodge, and split at the stairs, Natasha going upstairs and Elphy looking for the adults downstairs. Natasha ran to her room, chest complaining at the sudden amount of exercise.

Stolen story; please report.

She was dying to know more about all of this. Maybe Elphy can fill her in on a lifetime of stuff she’d missed out on. Give her the truth of all the things her mother had lied about.

Natasha got ready with whatever she could find. The last thing to put on was the jean jacket she’d been wearing when they—her heart raced as she grabbed and unfurled it. Bits of the collar were scorched and there were gashes into the back from the car's glass.

Natasha felt feverish, her body suddenly swimming in the air like she’d been thrown—tossed out the window, into the frozen packed snow. The glow of the car’s engine burning into her retinas as her dad pulled out her unconscious brother. Dad, he was still missing, he’d thrown his life away to save them, and Damon was still unconscious. What if he never woke up?

A sense of terrible guilt twisted around Natasha all at once. Her heart raced, beating against her ribs as it tried to climb out of her chest; it exploded even. It made her want to puke and scream all at once. The internal fire she tried so hard to hold back returned. She was in danger, she had to protect herself and all she could do was destroy whatever came her way. They were hunting her, they hurt her family because of her, she was the one that caused her dad to… Natasha couldn’t bring herself to admit to it. One more thing and she may as well disappear.

Natasha couldn’t fight, she couldn’t run either, mindlessly she crawled to a small space between the bed and the wall. Maybe she could hide then, from those flames which threatened to burn everything she loved to the ground. Her muscles tensed, restricting even her lungs from breathing. As she shut down, she didn’t hear the sound of footsteps coming down the hall.

With her eyes squeezed tight Natasha saw a firelight play behind her lids showing her a vision of a mirror, and her reflection. She flinched as she peered in and didn’t see herself.

“Natasha?” Elphy called at the doorway and took a sharp inhale seeing Natasha curled up on the floor. “You-you okay there? Ah—hey Tu...”

Natasha felt herself be pulled towards the mirror. Her jaw clenched. The reflection was her, wasn’t it? She swore, but no, it was an older woman looking overcome with sorrow. She shook her head at Natasha and reached up trying to speak. Natasha couldn’t hear any words but the gentle whisper of her own name. Behind her, shapes of other people stretched barely visible in a strange fog. A sound behind her changed the vision forcing it to turn.

With a small yelp Natasha was brought out from the fever dream. Something cold and wet had forced her hand off her head. With her face visible a wet lick slobbered up her cheek. Instinctually, Natasha dropped both of her hands down, it met with soft fur and she was awarded the smell of dog breath. Natasha opened her eyes to see Tucker’s snout inches from her. Tucker whined with concern as she stroked his ears.

Concerned Elphy bent down to Natasha; her liquid gold eyes glowing in concern. She was so close that Natasha could smell the faint smell of deep forest and soil even past Tucker’s breath. Pulled back into the present, Natasha realized she’d been sobbing. She cleared them up as quickly as she could with the heel of her palm. Completely embarrassed Natasha hoped Elphy hadn’t noticed.

“S-sorry, I just got caught up in my head there.” Natasha’s eyes unconsciously slid to her jacket lying on the floor a few feet, weary that it might attack her with memories again.

“Hey, it’s okay. I wouldn’t be as strong as you if I were…” Elphy let the sentence peter out not sure what was okay to say. “We don’t have to go anywhere if you just want to have some time to just work—”

“No!” Natasha interrupted a little louder than she meant to and cringed back a bit. “I mean, I think I need the distraction. I’d really rather not think about things.”

Elphy looked skeptical.

“Really. I appreciate the concern but I’d rather go out,” Natasha assured her.

“Okay.” Elphy looked behind her at the jacket on the floor. “Why don’t we look in the lost and found, there’s gotta be a jacket in there you could use. Most of them have been there for years now.”

Natasha blushed at being caught out but nodded meekly. Elphy stood up and offered Natasha her hand which she took, grateful for the help, as her legs felt like jello. Tucker backed up, out of the way but within arms reach, his tail wagged but he still held it low with worry.

The two of them and the dog went down to a storage closet that sat under the stairs. Natasha barely noticed this time that Elphy kept her hand the whole time. It was grounding.

Hanging in the closet were several coats of all cuts and sizes. Elphy pointed out that her mom enjoyed having choices throughout the winter though she basically only wore dull colours. She giggled at her own comment and pulled out an old, disintegrating cardboard box.

Inside was a treasure trove, pairs of things missing their other halves, knick knack and bobbless, and long forgotten items that had been discarded and forgotten. It seemed to Natasha as Elphy pulled out items that the box was bottomless.

There were two coats: a smallish, brown, woolen peacoat that was maybe from the 60’s; and a worn with love bomber jacket with a thick layer of fur along the collar. Among the random patches sewn haphazardly in the arms and chest was a large one on the back. It was a phoenix emerging from its own ashes. The peacoat probably would’ve fit better but Natasha couldn’t say no to a look like that leather coat. She slipped it on feeling very cool. Elphy clapped with excitement.

“Wow, I’d forgotten about that one!” Elphy stepped back and regarded Natasha, who buttoned it up. “Yes! That suits you so well.”

“Oh, thanks,” Natasha said, scratching the back of her head, suddenly feeling awkward in the moment. “I guess, just shoes and we can head out.”

Elphy nodded and grabbed her tall boots from the front door and sat on the stairs as she put them on. Natasha hesitated, unclenched her jaw and went over to the front door. Her shoes were neatly placed there in a little cubby. With a shaking hand she grabbed the boots and slipped them on without untying the laces, trying her best to not look down at them.

“Hey, before you two go.” Benjamin appeared from the back of the house. “Two things: take Tucker with you and don’t go too far, yeah? Back by dinner. Oh… and put on a hat and gloves, it’s frigid out there.”

Benjamin pulled out a set of double layered gloves from his coat hanging on the wall and handed them to Natasha. He then took the hat that’d been hanging next to the coat and put it on over Natasha’s head, making sure it covered her ears. A gesture that was so familial.

“I’ve never really been too bothered by the cold…” Natasha said, still putting on the gloves.

“You might not feel it but it still affects you, unless you’re actively fighting it back,” he explained, confusing Natasha further, then turned to Tucker like he was a person. “Now Tucker, I know you don’t need to be told but if anything goes wrong you know what to do, right?”

Tucker answered with a ‘woof’ as though he knew exactly what Benjamin was saying to him. Natasha squinted at the two of them, not sure what that exchange was. It was odd to her not to instantly know what Tucker was saying.

“Benjamin, what kind of host would I be if I let my charge get in trouble?” Elphy chided in a singsong voice as she opened the front door. “We won’t be long.”

Tucker took the opportunity to rush out ahead and pounce around in the snow in the yard. Following the dog Natasha waved at Benjamin as he walked out to the large wrap around porch and pulled out a cigarette. As they left he lit it and took a drag. As he exhaled the smoke trailed out his mouth and up into the sky. Natasha couldn’t help but think about how her dad would grumble about smokers and how annoying they were. She frowned and turned away.

“If you see anyone while you’re out there you come back right away!” Ben called

Giggling, Elphy tossed a loosely packed snowball at Tucker who caught it in his mouth. Overexcited, he then ran circles around the girls at top speed. Natasha watched as Elphy grabbed another clump of snow and tossed it at him this time he dodge and zoomed off.

“You’re being a goof, weirdo.” Natasha patted his flank as he took his place at her side.

“Haha, he’s been sulking ever since you all arrived. I think he missed you.” Mist trailed from Elphy’s lips as she spoke.

Tucker howled as though he was joining the conversation, earning him a chorus of laughter from the girls. The sun was out in full force though it still remained chilly. A new layer of snow covered whatever was growing in the garden. Humps here and there told Natasha that there were elements to the yard that were completely under snow.

The Lodge’s exterior looked like your typical log cabin, the likes you’d see on a postcard or in a travel brochure. It was in quite a large glade of sorts, the forest proper started many meters away. The grounds backed up on to the root of a jagged mountain. Looking up Natasha could see where the trees made way to solid rock and a glacier. She made out the pointed shapes of a waterfall that had frozen midway down. It was a breathtaking scene but hard to admire as it was so cold out. Bitter and dry.

Natasha pulled her arms closer to her body. She’d never felt the cold like this before. The loss of warmth only reminded her more of the coals in her chest. They’d not gone completely out.

“Come on, this way.” Elphy pointed towards a break in the trees that indicated there would be a road or walkway usually there. “If we get moving, we won’t be as cold.”