Chapter 28 - Forgiveness . . . In a Chad kind of way
((VOTE if you want Chad to share his feelings for Sasha -- that's if he has any ;) Which I strongely hope he does! Or else I will strangle him !!! So help and VOTE VOTE VOTE))
Picture of sexy Chad on the side ---->
Not knowing what to expect at all, I found myself to wonder where my once normal boring life went. It seemed that a century ago I was still that shy girl that never got into trouble at all, stayed away from the trouble, and disliked anybody that looked like trouble. But now I realized that trouble just seems to be a magnet for me. This was completely unfair as I guess I have the worst luck of all time! And hey, who can actually tell you your future of what other bad stuff's about to arrive? No one. Because if they could, I would have gone for a reading and found out that I would be accused of multiple murders, sentenced for life in jail to rot and never see the outside world again. I would have also found out that I would become an undead zombie monster in my cell. No lie there.
But that was all miles and miles away from happening. Right now I was still running around like a fish in a bowl, swimming around in circles as my fate was beginning to be put into pieces before me, as time ticked. Of course I have no knowledge of my future fate and what's to come. It's not like I found a really good fortune teller to tell me exactly what's gonna go down soon. I preferred to remain ignorant to the truth.
However, you can't escape your fate. I knew that my actions lately were completely stupid and reckless, realizing that it will all come back to me in one big rush. Knew that I wouldn't be able to run away from it as those problems have been building up, piling on one another that soon its all going to come tumbling down on me. I'll be squished underneath it all with no one there to help me.
Still, for now I must promise myself not to lose control again. I'm not only doing this for myself, nor am I going to be doing this for Chad. I'll be doing this for the innocent human-race that has loved family caring for them.
Why I had a smile on my face at this moment was because I was going to start this Flesher thing all over again. Basically a clean slate of staying good, avoiding trouble and living freely like that popular girl I've always dreamed to be, while I can.
Besides, it's a new beautiful day for a fresh start.
Subconsciously I found myself walking into the front doors of my school. Monday was here and the looks on everyone's faces was evident that they wished the weekend was longer. Two random girly girls had popped up beside me and suddenly started talking to me like they've known me for ages. I gave them no mind, but just smirk smugly as the populated passage moved out of the way for me to walk through. Eyes were glued on me and the two girls walking by my side like I was a celebrity or something. I, of course loved the attention I was receiving as I felt really popular at this point.
And even walking passed my old BFF Emily and her cheerleading gang, seeing them gawk at me, was enough to prove myself the popular here. Take that Emily! I thought smugly to myself, while winking at some guys along the way.
Today I knew, was the day to pick another victim for Chad to feed off. Of course I had thought about finding another hobo on the street to suck dry and feed the intoxicated hobo blood to Chad again. But I also knew Chad, knew that he would know something's up again, and demand to know why I have the mysterious blood in a bottle again and which person it came from. So that brilliant idea was out of the question, as I remember very clearly what had happened in the janitor's closet when I feed him that hobo blood.
A corrupt of shivers ran through my body as I thought about that intimidating scene unfold into my mind like a clear movie being played, where you had Chad pressed up against me, caging me in between the wall and him. His hot breath fanning my tingling lips, teasing them in taking the temptation. And I had taken that taunting temptation of his mocking lusty lips, had given into him. He knew that I wouldn't be able to resist. Curse myself for choosing an intimidating small closet to be alone with Chad.
But nonetheless, I shook my head free from those hungry hot thoughts, needing to stop thinking about him just for one day! Because I don't want to continue changing underwear every second those hot images play through my mind without control -- as embarrassing as that sounded, I was a teenage girl with wild hormones after all. However, I also made a rule to ignore him all day, everyday for as long as I can, that's if I can. I wanted to see how long he can keep sane for and it also would prove to me if he really meant what he said to me; about wishing I wasn't his Flesher.
I got to my locker and put in my locker combination. There was still a faint scratch mark in large letters that said 'LONER-LOSER' on it, which put some memories of when I was still a loner-loser not so long ago. To be honest, I kinda miss that nick-name and am still getting used to people not saying it to me anymore. But whatever.
While I swung my locker open and took out my math's book, a piece of paper randomly flew out. Luckily I was quick and moved to snatch it up with speed. The two girls behind me were too occupied in chatting about 'The big game coming up', to notice my abnormal speed.
The note read in scribbly hand writing;
.......................................................................................................................................
Dear my Red-fury beauty . . .
I've tracked you down for many days;
I've followed you through alleyways.
You haven't even seen me yet,
but when you do, you won't forget.
I wanted you first at the store;
I saw you there hundred times before.
And you were always all alone;
and now I want you for my own.
So here we are my lovely one;
my suffering has just begun.
Where do you live? I want to know;
I do not know yet where to go.
.......................................................................................................................................
I re-read the poem over and over, and each time I thought if this was maybe a prank note I've received from some jocks or something, or if this creepy note was from some psycho obsessed guy. The note was not signed, which didn't help the least but the unknown person didn't go all out with making it completely unknown because the guys handwriting was there.
Great, I thought with a grim expression. In order to find the guy that wrote this creepy poem I would have to search through everyone in this high school's work to match up the handwriting. I guess I wouldn't go that far because that was a mission which I felt to lazy to think about doing. But then there's always Chad -- my maker -- to show this too.
No. I refuse to show him anything! I refuse to even look at him for the matter.
Choosing to ignore the note, I simply crumbled it up while I slammed my locker shut and as I walked passed a dustbin; I tossed it into it without a second glance.
That note as probably just a prank from someone that was bored or something, I thought as I walked into math's class. Yet just as I took my seat, and the class was about to begin, another teacher stormed into the classroom breathing heavily like he was out of breath. "There's been an assembly being held at this moment and the principle would like everyone to be there. Now" The teacher finished, gazing at all of us staring at him and then making a swift exit.
As soon as he was out of sight, the classroom broke out in furious whispers. Even I had started to whisper to the girl sitting next to me about the sudden disruption that had the class at the edge of their seats.
We all had to get out of the classroom in single file and make our way to the big hall in the next big building of the school. While I stood standing waiting for the long line in front of me move, I looked to my right and saw Chad standing at a distance in his line. He wasn't facing my way but looked like he was thinking really hard for some reason.
It bugged me that I couldn't read his mind, like he can to mine. It seriously frustrated me so much but I knew I couldn't do anything even if I tried. Flesher's, I guess, weren't given that awesome ability to read thoughts. This totally sucked balls! UGH!
I notice from the corner of my eye that the line in front of me had moved. I snapped back into reality and realized I had been standing there just staring at Chad like some stalker. So I quickly snapped my eyes off of him and moved my feet forward. But I felt restless that I just needed to look back in Chad's direction again, for an unknown reason only to notice that he was no longer there.
I scanned all the student's for him but couldn't find him anywhere. I was confused because I just looked away from him for a second, yet he managed to slip away like he wasn't even there in the first place and I was just gazing at a ghost. But I wasn't. Nor was Chad a ghost.
As I neared the entrance doors of the hall, someone had grabbed my arm and pull me swiftly away in super speed around the corner of the building. Sharp tingles erupted over the spot where his hand was touching on my wrist and strangely it felt so good.
But I had to realize that I was ignoring Chad and instead of me scolding him out for startling me, I stayed tight lipped and waited for him to speak.
He sighed as he noticed that I wasn't making that attempt to talk first. "Look, I know you're still angry at me from that other day in the woods, but now's not the right time to get all silent on me okay?" He said in an annoyed tone, though the worried tone was clear as ice.
All I gave him was a bored, uncaring look which I felt proud of doing.
He groaned now. "I need answers Sasha; I need to get things figured out here because I'm lost. I'm seriously lost and I need you to fill in the blanks for me. Please," He gazed into my eyes with meaning behind his words. "Please, just . . . I need you . . . Sasha, I really-really need you" He said more slowly now, moving much more closely that his breath fanned my lips. My eyes held captured in his and it seemed to me that if I break that hold, I would feel lonely.
My mouth almost opened, as I admit that I was a little breathless towards his caring words. His words sounded sincere that I got to wonder if perhaps I should consider speaking to him again.
Don't do it Sasha! Don't you dare! He's supposed to be your maker, your vampire but he wishes he wasn't. Don't fall for that crap. Don't let his lying words manipulate you, a voice whispered into my head.
I looked down at my hands shyly and notice that it was busy being held by Chad. How it landed up there was a mystery. However, my mind told me not to listen to anything he says and that's what got me to snap my hands out of his gasp.
When I looked back up to meet his gaze, he looked taken aback for a brief moment before that classic Chad-frown flashed angrily onto his face. He was probably not used to girls rejecting him, or ignoring him period for the matter but all I can say in my mind to that is, 'Shame.'
Then he shook me by the shoulders, taking me by surprise. "Talk to me dammit! Why won't you talk to me?" He whispered-yelled so we wouldn't get caught. He let go of my shoulders and began to pace back and forth in front of me, with his fist balled, nose flaring, breathing heavily and pulling at his hair in clear frustration.
Good!
Then he captured my shoulders again, this time not roughly like moments ago, and softly placing his forehead against my own. He didn't looked into my eye but just look to the ground -- or maybe to my lips I suppose.
"Why won't you speak to me?" He now whispered. His tone was what got my eyebrows to crease together because he sounded so vulnerable, so weak, so . . . unlike himself.
It was like he was the one that was more affected by telling me those harsh things the other day than I have been. Then why did he say them to me? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? WHY??
I could spend my entire life questioning Chad's bipolar ways and still will never be able to figure him out. One moment his body can't seem to control itself around mine with its sexual signals and all, then the next he get all angry with me like I just done something so wrong, and then the next he wants me again.. All in all, we always end up on repeat. Repeating everything over again, just at each time it's a little bit more intense than the other.
What was he doing to me? I groaned inwardly. Knowing very well he was probably reading my mind. So I thought nothing so that I can frustrate him even more, knowing smugly that it will just make him go crazier now that he can't read my mind anymore. It was basically mentally ignoring him like I've been doing.
For him reading my mind was the easier way than for me to talk about my feelings out spoken as he knows very well that I would never ever share anything like that! It just wasn't me to express my feels openly. So shutting him off was a teasing way that I knew was wrong to play.
He waited for my response that I wasn't going to give. I snaked my hands up, touching his chest before shoving him off of me. I didn't want to see his expression now so I quickly turned on my heels and walked away.
"Hey!" I heard him angrily yell loudly. Probably he was shocked that I had pushed him off me and just wasn't used to the other girls he manipulated, to ever do such a thing.
I turned around, suddenly angry, yet not exactly knowing why. Just to notice that Chad was no longer there. I lifted my angry arched eyebrows and turned back around.
"Humph!" Suddenly I knocked straight into Chad's hard vampire chest. I would have yelled in his face but stayed silent and just glare harshly at his handsome face, pissed off to say the least. But I guess he was enjoying this with how his face turned from angry too amused.
"That's the first words I heard coming out of your mouth, and it was . . . nice" He smiled, with me surprised to hear no trace of sarcasm and to see him actually smiling -- and at me.
But yet I was still pissed off. "Well here's another word. Piss off!" I yelled in his face before walking around to get going.
He grabbed my waist with his two arms going around me as he picked me up off the ground -- like I weighed nothing -- and placed me so that I was facing the wrong direction instead. I struggled against him, but he didn't loosen his death grip on me.
"Those were two words by the way" His words brushed softly into my right ear, lips very lightly touching my earlobe, causing goose bumps to arise. Curse myself for tying my hair up today!
"And I meant it!" I growled at him angrily. But then he chuckled and I realized that he was enjoying that I was at least speaking to him again and not being a mute that he disliked very much. I groaned in defeat. Fuck.
I bet a million dollars right now that he was smirking smugly.
"L-let go p-please, I need to g-go" I stuttered, originally planning on making my tone come out harshly, yet that back fired miserably.
Fortunately for me he actually complied and unwrapped himself from around my waist, letting me go free.
I waited a heart beat until I slowly turned around nervously. Not expecting this at all, I was suddenly pushed back against the building wall with force and Chad caging me between him, leaving no room to run.
"No." He snapped at me, frowning again. His rough behavior was slightly intimidating that I felt like a little mouse trapped in a cage. He moved his face, once again, close to mine but instead of going for my parted lips, he went to my ear and whispered, "So you can go running back to that Kevin guy?"
Chad's closeness was making my brain not function properly that it took me a brief moment to understand his confusing words. Once it registered, my brain then had to rank over all the guys I knew that's name was Kevin. Kevin? I didn't know anyone with that name. But then a thought accrued and I had to ask, "You mean Kieran?"
Chad's eyes had dropped to my lips but by the time the question left my lips, Chad's eyes darkened and snapped back up to meet mine. "Yes," He hissed like Kieran's name was dirt on his tongue. "That guard dog boy," Chad smirked at the nickname.
That angered me. "Kieran's not a guard dog; take that back what you said!" I snapped, frowning. Hating that Chad would hate such a sweet guy.
He snorted. "Yeah right, that douche should go change his name to Guard-Dog, definitely suits him better," He chuckled humorlessly, shifting his eyes to the brick wall beside my head. Although there was a smirk on his lips, his eyes shone with clear hatred and I couldn't understand why? Like I said, I would never be able to figure Chad out.
I narrowed my eyes. "Now that's just rude!" I snapped, unhappy that Chad's picking on Kieran.
"It's true" He quickly says.
Now I was pissed off. "Well at least Kieran's there for me! Where are you? No where in five miles!" I yelled, not caring if anyone could hear us now. Not caring for anything at this moment as I was defending my true friend.
"Sure . . ." He sarcastically says, rolling his eyes. "Well that proves my guard dog theory then."
"You're a jerk, Chad! His way better that you'll ever be," Though after I said that -- all out of anger of course -- I immediately thought that that was pretty harsh to say to Chad.
Now his frown deepened at my harsh words. "I'm not any guard dog, Sasha, so don't think I'll ever be like him!" Chad shouts back at me, causing me to grimace. I was intimidated by him, I'm not gonna lie here! But I mustn't be weak, I reminded myself.
So I raised my head a little higher to look into Chad's eyes better, and said, "Well maybe you should just leave me and Kieran alone."
Silence.
More silence.
I waited for Chad to say something, anything for fuck-sake! It was eating me up inside, making me want to slap some words out of him or else I would go insane right on the spot. I now understood why Chad had thrown that sulky tantrum yesterday, and I now don't blame him for it as I wanted to throw one myself.
"Chad?" I stupidly let his name slip from my mouth. But then it accrued to me that he was having a heavy debate in his head, probably about what I said about leaving Kieran and I alone, that's why he was silent. Well duh you moron! Why else would he just be staring down at you, biting his lip?
So then what would he decide? Would he decide on remaining my . . . friend or would he decide to let me be free with Kieran?
I guess I can admit that I do want Chad to still be my . . . friend and not detach himself from our friendship, even though I had said I do not want anything to do with him at all. I also had realized that in a weird way, Chad had somehow apologized for hurting me, in a Chad's kind of way. I mean, I couldn't be angry at him forever could I?
My stomach clinched painfully. Why it did so, I wouldn't have a clue but all I know is life would suck without Chad in it. There, I admitted it okay!
And then he finally showed some aliveness -- as I thought he would turn into a statue the longer he stood standing deadly still -- by making me not entirely surprised to see a smirk appear.
"I agree." He finally broke the silence. Hallelujah for that. But then my face fell as he agreed to leave me and Kieran alone. Until he lifted my chin up so that my disappointed eyes could meet his soft ones. "That your life would seriously suck without me," That smirk just grew much bigger.
I rolled my eyes as I forgot he could read my mind. Damn him! I mentally cursed and punched Chad's arm playfully. "Not fair to read my mind when I can't read yours," I remarked, pouting a little.
His face came closer to mine again. "Oh but if only you knew what I had up in here" He pointed to his head and smiled a perverted smile that looked so sexy on his face. I didn't have a cool comeback to that due to his closeness, so I stayed silent and just smile shyly at him, looking up into his big eyes through my thick dark lashes.
His thumb met my cheek as he made circular motions. "You know you're blushing right?" He smirked.
My eyes widened. No! I didn't know that! Oh my gosh! How emba -- Wait, his reading my thoughts.
He chuckled, drawing closer while his thumb touched my bottom lip. "And you know you look cute when you're angry". I think that just caused my so-called red cheeks to go ten thousand red tones darker at his comment!
What is this guy doing to me? I questioned for the second time today.
"So . . . friends?" I hesitantly questioned, biting on my bottom lips as I was in desperate need of his answer.
His gave me a cocky side smile, though I failed to notice his hands -- that were on the wall next to my head -- had balled into tight fists. "Yeah, friends . . ."
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Painful Love - Vampire & Flesher â¢
All Rights Reserved ®
Copyright © 2013 by Kimite Cancino.
No kiss?? 0_o Whhhhhhyyy Chad??????? *Cry*
Hehehe ;) You like Chapter? Personally I say that this Chapter is MY ULTIMATE FAVORITE!! For now, just like 'Kissing a dead girl was my previous one ;)'