There are men here and I want them to finish up and go. Iâm not done. Could you please leave me until Iâm done? I need to cut myself away piece by piece until there is nothing left.
I wish the men would stop talking. I wish the men would stop crying. I wonder why the men are crying.
â
The warmth of a wet washcloth. The smear of ointment. The clean smell and gentle press of medicated gauze, the zip of white tape. The men are no longer crying. There is a woman now. She is not my mother.
â
I wish I could open my eyes.
I donât want to open my eyes.
I hear the sound of crying again and now I recognize that itâs me, I am crying.