Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it's overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.
The quiet sound of Jason's steps on the gravel road was the only thing heard. It's like the quietness of night got even more quiet to the point it was eerie and terrifying.
It felt like a horror movie and any sane human being wouldn't dare walk under the dark night sky with no moonlight and no one around.
But Jason, on the other hand, was walking while paying no attention to his surroundings. He wasn't particularly in his sanity right now.
He was lost in his dark thoughts that enveloped his whole body. Anyone who would see him from afar would think he was a zombie walking with a shoe box in his hand.
His clothes were crumbled, his hair was messy from how much he tugged on it, his eyes were puffy and bloodshot, his lips were drier than the Sahara, his face was pale with a trail of tears dried on it.
Jason stopped in his place as if he just recognized where he was going... home. The place where he went whenever he was sad or tired or even angry. He would go home into Lily's embrace and she would always make things better.
But where is she now?
It's funny that the person he wanted to talk to about Lily's death was Lily herself.
Jason opened the front door and the sadness came in waves stronger than before. He just stood there waiting, but for what?
He was waiting for Lily to run towards him with that mind blowing smile of hers. He expected her to flung herself onto him and hug the hell out of him.
He wanted to hear that giggle of her, he wanted to tickle her and chase her around the house, he wanted to kiss her and hold her between his arms.
He wanted to smell that enchanting smell of her body and hair and rub her back while she placed her frozen little hands under his shirt.
But he was greeted by that damn silence that was messing with his head.
Jason finally got the courage to close the door behind him and headed towards his and Lily's room. Before he got there he was stopped by that decorated door, Hope's bedroom door.
Jason squeezed his hand into a fist and bit his lips trying to hold his tears back. There's no more tears left to shed, or so he thought.
He opened the door and looked around the room they worked so hard on to make it perfect for their baby. Jason stared at the wall with all his brothers hand prints and stopped on his and Lily's hand prints.
His fingers unconsciously ran over it as he laid his head on the wall and closed his eyes reliving the moment.
With deep heart breaking sigh Jason walked around the room as his fingertips touched all over the place stopping infront of a teady bear that belonged to Lily. It was her favorite and she was going to give to her newborn...
Jason held the teady bear in between his hands and the sound of Lily calling him Jasey bear echoed through his mind. He used to hate it when she called him that, but now he would give anything to get to hear one more time from her lips.
He sat on the ground in the middle of the room and placed the box Lily's father gave him in front of him. He wasn't ready to open it, not yet, but he so badly wanted to feel Lily's love one more time even through a gift in a shoe box.
Jason breathed deeply before slowly opening the box. The box had so much random stuff that Jason didn't know what to check first. His hand reached out to a dried up flower and he stared at it confused until he remembered that day.
They were walking around the park and they passed by a bunch of beautiful blue flowers that he had no idea what they're called, but knowing that she loved blue Jason picked a bunch of them and placed them into Lily's hair.
She kept it as a reminder of this surreal moment.
The box was full of pictures of both of them. On their first, in their wedding, on their honeymoon, in the hospital and lots and lots more.
But one picture grabbed Jason's attention more than the others, it was such an eye catching image by the innocence and purity that was in it.
Jason had a small smile, that he was trying to hide, on his face as Lily pressed her lips onto his cheek with a silly smile covering her face.
She was wearing a white dress and had a crown of flowers on her head. The sun ray lighted up her golden hair and made Jason's eyes brighter.
A tear dropped out of Jason's eye and landed in the picture. He kissed it and placed it inside of his jacket as continued looking through the box.
A white envelope with his name on it was next. It was a letter from his wife, Lily.
Jason hesitated, he knows that he will break down the second he starts reading it. He felt like his eyes would fall off if he cried more. With a heavy heart Jason opened the letter and as expected his tears ran down his cheeks like a river.
Dear Jasey bear,
If you're reading this, that means I'm no longer here with you. I'm sorry, babe, I'm so sorry for leaving you behind, but I'm sure you'll never be alone.
I know that you might feel lonely, but you will never be alone, you have your family and my family and most importantly remember that I will always be with you in your heart.
I honestly don't know what's the date today, but I am writing this two days before our baby's gender reveal party.
I got this weird bone racking feeling and I wrote this letter in case anything happened to me. I don't know if our baby would still be alive with you or it would leave this world with me, but if it does stay alive please take good care of it and tell her/him that love them so much.
And if it leaves with me, we will take care of each other and we will watch over you. It feels weird writing this, like this might never happen, we could live together with our kids for many more years, but I could also die any day now, so I had to write this.
If I leave this earth, my sweet husband, I hope you will be able to find someone else that would see how perfect you are. Someone you could love and start a family with, I wish it was me, but if I don't make it don't stop your life for me.
The world will still be moving forward and you have to keep moving on, my love.
I hope I go to heaven so that I see you once again. My life was kinda short, but I got so many blessings and one of them was meeting you, Jasey.
I am happy you were mine and it sucks that it all ended ( Yes, I just quoted death bed).
I have so much more to say, but you're going to be home in a bit and I don't want to make you sad or worried because of a weird feeling I had.
Just know that I LOVE YOU.
I love you so much my Jasey bear, I am thankful that I have met you that day at the cabin. I am lucky that I am your wife and I'm happy that I got to carry your child.
Stay strong for me, Jason. Stay strong, my love.
I'll see you when the road decides it's time for our paths to cross again.
Till heaven reunites us, my Jasey bear.
Sincerely yours,
Your Daffodil, your Fiore,
Your wife.... Lily â¤ï¸
(p.s: If I'm not dead and you're reading this that would be hella awkward)
The letter was littered with tens of tear drops as Jason read through it. Jason's breath got stuck in his throat and his eyes blurred with tears as his body shakes with every breath he tries to take.
He folded the letter and kissed it before hugging it to his heart. Laying down on the ground, Jason hugged Lily's favorite teddy bear and slowly gave up to the darkness as his body couldn't take it anymore and dozed off on the cold floor hoping that this was all a nightmare and he's going to wake up from it.
Never. We never truly lose our loved ones. They accompany us; they don't disappear from our lives.
We are merely in different rooms.
.ð«§.ð«§.ð«§.ð«§.ð«§.ð«§.
(A/N): Till heaven reunites us ðð¤
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Lots of Love ð¤