I lay in the dark room, my gaze fixated on her still form. Her presence was both a comfort and a torment.
Iâd let her go into the guest room, knowing I wouldnât be able to stop myself from bringing her back to our room in the dead of night. Now that Iâd had so many nights with her wrapped in my armsâ¦I couldnât sleep without her.
She was hurt, and it was my fault.
But I wouldnât change a damn thing.
As I traced the contours of her face with my gaze, I could feel the restlessness within her. She wanted to run, to escape this thing between usâ¦but I wouldnât allow it.
She had come back last night, whether driven by her own conflicted desires or the cruel pull of fate, it didnât matter. Her return had saved me from hours of hunting her down.
I shifted closer, my hand grazing the curve of her hip. I knew she felt it, that golden thread that bound us together, even in the face of everything. The intensity of my desire for her was all-consuming, a delirium that threatened to destroy us both.
She belonged to me, whether she fully comprehended it or not. The truth may have fractured the delicate illusion of our love, but it hadnât extinguished the fire that burned between us.
I leaned closer, my lips brushing against the curve of her neck, claiming her as my own in that stolen moment. The darkness of our desires enveloped us, a heady cocktail of passion and pain, and I knew that there was no turning back. She was mine, and I would do whatever it took to make her understand that.
Including making things a bit moreâ¦permanent.
I grabbed my phone with my free hand and texted Linc.
With a plan in place, I pulled her closer to meâ¦and quickly fell into a blissful sleep.
Blake
The day had crawled by like an eternity, and Ari had stayed practically glued to my side. He tried to talk to me several times about everything, but I couldnât do it. Not yet.
Maybe not ever.
I kept opening my mouth to tell him we needed to take a breakâ¦or something. But every time I did, I couldnât get the words out.
Because the thought of not being with him, even for a few days, my heart couldnât handle it.
Now, we were in the back of a sleek limo that Renage had sent for us, driving to the release party, the silence between us thicker than ever. The tension in the air was palpable, and I could sense his frustration. Heâd been his charming self today, if clingier, but I kept telling myself this wasnât healthy. I couldnât just let it goâ¦
Right?
As the city lights blurred past us, I was dreading the night ahead. The party was meant to be a celebration of my first big break in the modeling world. And now, all I wanted was to drown my sorrows in alcohol, and forget about the mess that had become my life.
I glanced at him. He looked like a dark god tonight, dressed in an all black suit that could possibly impregnate you just by glancing at him.
But his features were etched with a mixture of longing and resignation. The anguish in his eyes mirrored my own, and for a moment, I wondered if we were both doomed to this unending cycle of pain.
The car pulled up to the grand entrance of the club where the party was being held, music and laughter spilling out into the night. It was a stark contrast to the turmoil within me, a reminder that life went on even when everything felt broken.
âBlake, donât let whatâs going on ruin your night. Please try and have fun,â he pleaded as his hand stroked my cheek. It was a habit that I leaned into it, taking comfort from his touchâ¦just for a second.
I let him brush a kiss against my lips, and I felt the soft touchâ¦all the way to my fucking soul.
The door opened and I was jarred back to reality, to remembering all that had happened. Ari had that way about him, the ability to make me forget myself.
I guess thatâs why I missed all the signs about what he was doing.
I was caught in his spell.
The bad part was, I was wishing I was still in it.
We stepped out of the car and made our way inside, Ariâs hand burning into my lower back.
I immediately asked for a drink the second we got to the bar, and he nodded approvingly. Heâd told me to enjoy myself after all.
And maybe I was going to.
Why shouldnât I drink tonight? I never allowed myself to truly let go. With the Shepfields, it was never allowed.
On my own, Iâd never felt safe enough to do so.
But tonightâ¦.tonight I wanted to.
I took shot after shot with the crew, feeling like a fun person for once.
A free person.
Andâ¦it was freedom. To let my inhibitions flow out of me with the alcohol and atmosphere. To stop worrying about how I looked, or what Iâd done wrong. Just for one night, I could forget all the bullshit and shut up my own inner demons.
I loved it.
It was like my problems didnât exist.
I danced next to Ari, hands combing through my hair, hips swaying, basking in the fact that the alcohol shoved away all my turmoil over what Ari had doneâ¦how our relationship had started.
Right now, I didnât care about any of that, and I didnât want to care.
I just wanted us.
My head tipped back against his shoulder and fanned my heated face, and he looked down at me as his hands held my waist. âYou okay, sunshine?â
âIâm great,â I said, slurring slightly. âNever better.â
âDo you want to slow down?â
I shook my head. âNope.â
I didnât. I wanted to keep everything flowing. The alcohol, the freedom, the fun.
He stared at me, a strange expression on his face, like he was debating something. But he didnât try to stop me.
A trio of models who had been in some past famous Renege campaigns came over, surrounding me. They were big names, people Iâd have had trouble talking to if I was sober because I was so intimidated. But not now. Not tonight. Tonight they were my new best friends.
âTime for another round!â Rachel Crenshaw said as she passed me a shot. âYour shoot was fucking amazing,â she said, clinking her glass with mine. âCheers.â
I glanced at the pictures decorating the walls. They were fucking amazing. Ari and I looked like pure sex in all of them, like we were seconds away from ripping each otherâs clothes off. The tension and chemistry were physically tangibleâ¦even through the lens of a camera.
Longing raced through my heart. The way he was looking at me in those photosâhe looked at me like that every fucking day.
And I was so scared to lose it.
âBlake, drink!â Rachel sing-songed, bringing me back to the present. Deciding I definitely needed more if I was going to drown out my thoughts, I tipped the shot back, laughing as heat slid through my veins, warming me up all over. It felt so fucking good.
I turned and wrapped my arms around Ariâs heated body, pressing my cheek against his chest.
Because he felt better.
âWhat was that, sunshine?â
Whoops. I mustâve said that out loud. I glanced up at him, and he was slightly doubled, the lights behind him making his dark suit light up, casting shadows against his face. âI donât want us to break,â I confessed, my tongue loosened from every drink, my feet unsteady. His hold on my ass was the only thing keeping me upright. Keeping me from falling.
âI wonât let us break.â There was no doubt in his voice. Only perfect confidence. And the drunk me was desperate to believe him.
âButâ¦y-youâ¦â God, it was hard to talk. Because of the drinks. Because ofâ¦everything. âYou tricked me. Blocked him.â
âI think weâve discussed this before, baby. You didnât belong with him. He was the one stepping where he wasnât supposed to. He was the intruder.â
His grip tightened on my ass and I started to feel very needyâ¦
âIt was always going to be us.â
I hummed my agreement, because Iâd thought that when I met him too. That he was my everything.
âYou know I thought I was going to marry you when we met,â I slurred. Something was nagging in the back of my head that I shouldnât be saying this, but I pushed it away.
Because Ari was my safe place. Even when I was mad, hurt, upsetâ¦he was still somehow my safe place.
He was where I most felt free.
Hmm. That was weird. Maybe something for sober Blake to think of. Later.
Much later.
âYou were saying, sunshine?â he murmured, his fingers tangling in my hair as he forced me to look at him.
I wanted to lick him..
âThanks,â he chuckled. âYouâre welcome to. Just as long as I get to lick you back.â
Whoops, Iâd said that out loud too.
âOh!â I exclaimed, remembering what Iâd been saying. âI totally thought I was going to marry you. I was ten years old and I was fucking done. Mrs. Lancaster. That was me.â I giggled. âI had it all planned. A white dress. Pretty flowers. And you were going to love me forever and ever.â I buried my face in his chest and rubbed against his silky shirt. âThings are so much easier when youâre a kid,â I sighed. âYou can believe in forever and ever.â
His hands rubbed down my back, soothing my feverish skin.
A waiter passed by with more drinks, and I lurched towards himâ¦because they were neon green.
I loved green.
Like Ariâs eyes.
âThese remind me of your eyes. Green, green, green. My favorite,â I told him as his lips danced down my neck. That felt good. Really good.
Ari always made me feel good.
Except when he hurt me.
I frowned.
âPlease donât hurt me,â I told him, a small part of me knowing I sounded pathetic.
âIâm going to take care of everything, baby. Make us both feel better,â he assured me. âYou trust me, right?â
I nodded. âI canât stop.â
âGood girl. Now come with meâ¦â
I took his hand, because Drunk Blake, she would follow him anywhere.
The party was winding down though, but I didnât want it to end. Because I didnât want us to end.
Ari could sense it. So when we stepped outside into the cool night air, he held me close. âWhat do you want to do, sunshine?â
âI want to keep having fun. With you. Forever.â
And I did want forever.
The alternative was goodbyes and grief.
He smiled. Triumphant. âI want that too.â
I had champagne in a limo. Ari just watched me, still not partaking, though his eyes kept drinking me in. I was blissfully drunk. While he was just drunk on me.
Then, the fun and freedom went to an all-time high. Really, really high. As in airplanes and clouds.
âItâs so pretty.â I sighed as I looked out the window at the glittering lights below.
âYouâre prettier.â
I turned and smiled dreamily at him. This seat was comfortable. His hand on my thigh was bliss.
We stumbled through neon-lit streets, my heels clicking on a sidewalk that felt alive, alive with the pulsating beat of the bright light city. Ariâs arm was wrapped around me, not letting me fall. Because he was always protecting me.
The rush of adrenaline and alcohol in my veins as we stumbled into a building that seemed to appear out of thin air. There were couples everywhere. A lot of white. So much white. Which was weird, âcause I was in white too.
A small chapel adorned with glittering lights, and Elvis was there serenading us with a voice that could melt steel.
Ari said âI do,â and he was so happy.
A ring slipped on my finger, and he was even happier.
âForever, sunshine.â
We kissed, lips meeting in a collision of passion and pure happiness. The cheers and applause of strangers mingled with our laughter, as if the universe itself had joined in our celebration.
My memories were nothing but fragmented flashes, like a puzzle missing most of its pieces. But I was with Ari.
So I was safe.
So safe.
Forever safe.
It was a cruel and merciless awakening. My head throbbed like a relentless jackhammer, and my stomach churned with a queasiness that threatened to consume me. It was the kind of hangover that felt like the universeâs twisted way of punishing me for every questionable decision Iâd ever made.
As I gingerly peeled open one eye, the harsh light streaming in through the curtains assaulted my senses like a thousand fiery daggers. My surroundings blurred and spun as I tried to piece together the events of the previous night. I was pretty sure I was in Ariâs houseâ¦in his bed. How exactly had we ended up here? And why did my body feel like it had been put through a blender?
With a groan that came from the depths of my tortured soul, I slowly sat up, panic creeping in as I realized I was completely naked. Please tell me I hadnât slept with himâ¦that was the opposite message I needed to send.
I remembered wanting to forget, and drinking and having fun. Weâd been dancing andâ¦Iâd been convinced I could drink away having to break up with him.
But I couldnât remember anything after thatâ¦not how weâd gotten home, not what weâd done, nothing.
The queasiness in my stomach escalated, and I knew I had mere seconds before Iâd be introducing the contents of my stomach to the toilet. I stumbled out of bed and raced to the bathroom, collapsing in front of the toilet just in time.
As I heaved and gagged, a glimmer of something caught my bloodshot eye. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and blinked at the sight that greeted me: a ring, perched snugly on my finger, with a diamond so enormous it could have lit up the Eiffel Tower.
I screamed.
The ring sparkled mockingly in response, as if it were the crown jewel in some cosmic joke. I stared at it in sheer disbelief, my mind racing to make sense of this bizarre twist in an already confusing morning. The diamond glinted with an almost malevolent glee, as if it were silently taunting me with its opulence.
I couldnât recall ANYTHING.
I just hoped this ring had somehow materialized out of thin air, because any other option was not okay.
I panic-brushed my teeth, and dragged myself out of the bathroom, throwing on some clothes so I could figure out what the hell had happened last night. Once I had on a pair of sweats, I made my way to the kitchen. The tantalizing aroma of food and the sound of Taylor Swiftâs âPaper Ringsâ filled the air, creating a bizarre contrast to the pounding headache that had decided to take up residence in my skull.
The song seemed oddly prophetic, but no, I wasnât going there.
Ari was dancing around as he cooked something on the stove, wearing an apron that read âI Love Beaverâ in bold letters. My bleary eyes widened in disbelief at the scene. He sure didnât look hungover.
He heard me approaching, and his face lit up with a suspiciously mischievous grin.
âThere you are, sunshine. I was about to come wake you up for breakfast.â
He must have seen my face turning green at the mention of food, because he grabbed a glass on the counter next to him, filled to the brim with a brown sludge looking concoction, and slid it my way with an air of triumph.
My eyes darted to the drink, uncertain whether it was my salvation or the final nail in my hungover coffin.
âHere you go,â he chimed in a voice that was far too cheerful for the worldâs current state of existence. âA tried and true Lincoln and Ari hangover cure.â
I didnât have anything to lose, so I lifted the glass to my lipsâ¦
âDrink up, wifey.â
I froze in place, the cup at my lips. What had he just said? That was just him being Ariâ¦right?
Ari had a huge grin on his face as he stared at me.
âWifey, haha,â I muttered as I threw back the disgusting drink. It tasted like gasoline as I guzzled itâor what I imagined gasoline tasted like.
âWhatâs so funny? Do you not like the ring?â he asked innocently. âYouâre right, I should have gone bigger.â
This time I choked on the drink, the glass slipping out of my hand and crashing to the floor. Glass and brown liquid went everywhere as I stared at Ari in wide-eyed disbelief.
âWhat the fuck are you talking about, Ari?â I shrieked, the sound hurting my own ears.
He covered the plate of waffles in front of him with his hands. âLanguage, Blake. Youâll hurt the wafflesâ feelings!â
âAri, tell me what youâre talking about, right now!â
He held up his hands. âAlright, sunshine. Let me clean up the floor and then we can talk. Please donât move or youâll cut yourself.â
A wave of guilt hit me that I was snapping at him so much, but my brain was fuzzy and my heart was pounding, and I was afraid he wasnât jokingâ¦
âThere. All done,â he said as he finished. âYou want your waffles now?â He slid a plate of blueberry ones towards me.
Obviously, he was being obtuse now. And trying to butter me up because blueberry waffles were my favorite.
âNo, Ari. I want to know why I have a ring on my finger and youâre calling me âwifey!â I snarled.
âBecause we got married last night in Vegas, obviously,â he responded calmly, holding up his own ring clad finger.
âWhat did you just say?â I asked in disbelief.
âIâve got the certificate locked in our safe, and oh! I have a video. Youâre going to love it.â
He eagerly pushed me toward the couch, setting me down and snuggling in beside me. I was too in shock to move.
With a theatrical flourish, he pressed a button on the remote, and the room was instantly filled with the lively strains of âViva Las Vegas.â The screen flickered to life, and my jaw droppedâ¦
The first scene captured us in front of a kitschy wedding chapel. There I stood, in a short, tight white dress Iâd never seen beforeâ¦clutching a bouquet of roses with a smile that teetered somewhere between tipsy bliss and unabashed joy. Beside me was Elvisâor at least a convincing impersonatorâdecked out in the Kingâs iconic jumpsuit and shades, officiating our unexpected union.
It was obvious I was blitzed out of my mind. My eyeliner was smudged all over my eyes, my hair was wild and out of controlâ¦and I was swaying in place like I was going to pass out at any minute. How had anyone there thought a wedding was a good idea! Ari, on the other handâ¦he looked perfectâhis eyes clear, his hair artfully tousled, no sway in his walkâ¦Like he was completely sober.
Staring at me like I was his world. No, I wasnât going to think about that.
When Elvis had asked, âDo you take this man to be your husband?â Iâd literally slurred âhell yeahâ and pumped my fist.
Wonderful.
The montage then transitioned to Ari and I in a gleaming white limo, cruising down the dazzling Las Vegas Strip, the night sky alive with brilliant, flashing lights. Weâd thrown open the sunroof, the wind whipping through our hair as we stood on the seats, holding onto the carâs roof for dear life.
With the skyline of Sin City as our backdrop, we shouted, âJust married!â at the top of our lungs, our faces flushed with excitement. Ari proudly extended my hand, showing off the sparkling ring that now adorned my finger.
âThereâs also a video of our helicopter ride,â Ari said eagerly, playing with the remote. I grabbed his hand.
âThis isnât a joke? You really took me to Vegas while I was black out drunk and married me?â
He nodded his head, his grin fading as his lips settled into a determined line. âYep. And you said âyes,â sunshine, so youâre stuck with me.â
Anger and shock were warring with each other inside of me as I just stared at him. The rest of what heâd done had been enough that any sane relationship would have endedâ¦but this. THIS! What was I supposed to do? My voice trembled as I demanded, âWhy would you do this?â My words were laced with accusation.âI never get drunk. Never let go. But I felt safe enough with you to do that, and then youâ¦youâ¦did this? Took me to Vegas and married me?â
His face scrunched up with frustration. âYou told me last night, you didnât want us to break up. You told me you didnât want it to end! So I made sure it didnât.â
His voice was completely resolute.
âAri, people donât do this! How did you expect me to react? This is fucking insane! First what happened with Clarkâ¦and now this? How could you?â
Ariâs eyes bored into mine, his conviction unwavering. âBecause weâre soulmates, Blake. You and I are meant to be together. And now you canât leave me.â
I couldnât believe what I was hearing. My disbelief poured out in a scornful laugh. âPeople get divorced all the time, Ari. You canât justâ¦trap me in a marriage because you think weâre soulmates.â
He stepped closer, his voice a fervent whisper, each word heavy with conviction. âNot us. Iâm never letting you go.â
I turned away from him, unable to bear the weight of his declaration. Conflicting emotions roiled within me, and I knew I needed space to sort through them. Without another word, I fled to the guest room, my heart pounding in my chest. The door slammed shut behind me, echoing my tumultuous feelings.
Inside the dimly lit room, I leaned against the door, my breathing erratic. Tears stung my eyes as I grappled with the reality of the situation. Ariâs actions had left me feeling trapped and overwhelmed. I couldnât deny that a part of me wanted to be claimed by him; before all this had happened, Iâd been dreaming of marriageâ¦been dreaming of forever.
But not like this.
I paced the room, my thoughts racing like a runaway train. How had everything spiraled into this mess? How could he have ever thought this was a good idea?
Clarkâs use of the word âpsycho,â flashed through my head.
As I wrestled with my emotions, the most overwhelming oneâ¦was despair. Iâd believed Ari was my hero. A person I was safe with. A person I could trust.
The weight of Ariâs words and the depth of my emotions threatened to drown me. I knew I needed to confront him, to figure all this out.
But for now, I needed a moment.
Because my heart had just been broken.