"What are you doing awake?" Kayde's voice cut through the darkness, interrupted Iris's low mumbling. "You need to get some rest... surely you know that. We ride through tomorrow. You need strength."
Iris stopped pacing at the sound of his voice. Iris jumped a little, wishing that he'd stop sneaking up on her like that. He had already made it a habit, seemingly. She took a minute to mull over what he had said. He wasn't wrong... she should get some sleep. But how? After tomorrow, she'd be an Eldian soldier and she just wasn't equipped for that -not yet, anyways. She realized that talking to herself would likely do nothing to help -but at least it would distract her for the time being.
Kayde just raised a brow at her.
"So do you," she finally brought herself to say back. "But you're still awake. Why aren't you asleep yet?"
"I would be," he pointed out. "You're walking around and ranting to yourself proves to be a little distracting, believe it or not. Please go to bed, Iris -for both of our sake." He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand.
Iris felt a little bad. She hadn't realized she'd been keeping him up. After a moment of thought, she finally told him, "You called me Iris." A moment passed. "You probably shouldn't anymore. I'm going by Ingred now -Ingred Gwenneth." Was it a change of subject to deflect his reprimanding? Yes. Was it necessary information? Also yes.
"Fine," he agreed without heart, tired beyond all reason. "Go to bed, Ingred."
Iris sniffed at being scolded like a little girl -even if she was one. That thought sent another course of alarm tingling down her spine. She was a small girl -a small girl doing something big. Iris could only hope that she wasn't biting off more than she could chew.
Even still, Iris did take his suggestion. She nodded and entered her tent without argument. As she looked down at her bedroll, she couldn't help but remember just how uncomfortable it was to sleep in it. With a forlorn sigh, the girl crawled into anyway, grunting in pain as she adjusted herself. The ground was hard and quite unforgiving underneath her, with a few sharp stones digging in at various places. Iris tried to shuffle them away with her body to only little avail. Ah, at least she wasn't cold.
Iris closed her eyes and did her best to fall asleep, but her discomfort paired with the thoughts storming inside her mind didn't give her much hope that she'd actually rest at all. The strangest part about all of this was that she wasn't thinking about the war -at least, not mostly. She was actually thinking about her former betrothed.
Iris couldn't help but wonder what he'd say to this inane attempt to save her father. From all she knew of him, she didn't doubt that he'd most likely laugh in her face. He'd reassure her that she was playing the fool and then go rat her out to her father. He'd get her lectured and sent to her room afterward -locked up and monitored until her father had left.
Iris thoughts deepened, and suddenly? She didn't feel as sorry for herself that she'd lost him. When he'd left her, she'd certainly been heartbroken. At that point in her life, sure he'd done her wrong at times -but at the time, not anything he could've done would have been enough for her to see him for what he was. At that time in her life, she had blamed herself for all that was wrong with their relationship. Now, though, as she thought about it more, she'd come to a realization: he had been toxic for her. What's more? -they had nothing in common. Their personalities hadn't even coalesced.
But he'd found her pretty -and somehow, that had been enough for her at the time. Oh, how smitten she was because she had been worthy.
Iris laughed a little under her breath at the thought. If that was what love was, she wasn't sure she wanted to partake. If love was simply an exercise of control or a placement of value over her head, Iris would rather die without having a husband. And wasn't that a shameful thought for a woman to have? Everyone in Eda seemed to think so.
At any rate, hours passed. Thoughts kept the girl in and out of sleep: she thought about her former betrothed; she thought about her father and aunt; she thought about just how little time she had left before she arrived at the training camp. The day after tomorrow was approaching with the speed of a galloping racehorse, and nothing Iris could do would stop the constant passing of time.
Iris consoled herself with the fact that, with Kayde, she'd been able to get at least a little training under her belt. Was she a novice? Of course she was -but she did have potential. That's what Kayde had told her at least. By his account, she didn't have to go off to the war without hope of succeeding. If she kept practicing, she'd have a chance. That being said, nothing in the world could guarantee that that was enough to keep her alive. But it was a chance -and a chance was far more than her father could have ever hoped to have.
After a night of little rest, Iris decided she would leave her tent early so she could go and watch the sun rise. The dawn had always been a wonderful sight to see. When she walked outside, she was hardly surprised that Kayde was already waiting on her. He looked vibrant and fully dressed -and Iris envied him for it. Iris shook her head -she hadn't even heard him leave his tent. Ah, she supposed that wasn't a surprise either.
"Good morning," he said and leapt up to go stand before her. When he got close enough, he eyed her face warily. For a moment, he trailed a finger under her eye, gently tracing the dark circle that surely lingered there. A hint of accusation dented his brows. "Oh gods, did you not rest at all, girl?"
Iris sighed. "Not for lack of trying."
Something sincere passed over Kayde's face. "You know, if you hum to yourself -it holds your thoughts at bay. At least, that's the technique I used to use when I... ah, never mind. You should try it next time, though -take my word for it."
"Thanks," she said with a nod. "I will give it a shot." Iris paused for a minute and put one hand on her sword. "I suppose now is as good of a time as any to get some more training. It might wake me up a little before we start the day's travel. What do you think?"
Kayde took a few steps away from her and nodded his head in acknowledgement. With a gesture, he motioned for her to hold her blade at the ready. She did, a bit eager to learn more -even if she was deathly tired. He snatched up his sword as well. For the next two hours, they flew back and forth. Iris immediately acquired new injuries -but she noticed that she was already a tiny bit better than she had been yesterday. Inwardly, she wondered how well she would do had she had a full night's sleep. Ah, maybe it wouldn't make that much of a difference.
Where Iris was clumsy, Kayde was lithe. Where Iris was a fledgling, Kayde was trained. Needless to say, she hadn't even gotten a hit in on him -no matter how hard she'd tried. Once the sun was high, though, the training was over and the ride had once again begun. They sat together on Gretchen, moving ever forward to their destination.
Iris had been drowsy, drifting off every so often. Kayde barely spoke. When he did, he was quizzing her on her fighting technique -a sort of a preliminary "what would you do if this and that happened" ordeal. Iris had gotten most of the questions right, but as her father had always said, it was far easier said than done. She certainly needed more practice to theory.
"I'm not ready for tomorrow," Iris said after a long while. "Will we have to do extensive traveling after tonight or..." she trailed off.
"No, we shouldn't have to," Kayde answered. "By the time we get done tonight, we should be close. I imagine we'll get up tomorrow, train, and make it to the camp by noon. You'll be able to get about two more sword sessions in before you arrive -so do your best to sleep tonight. Mark my words, you don't want to be exhausted tomorrow."
Iris doubted she would rest, but she nodded her head anyway. Two more sparring sessions indeed sounded good -after all, the more practice she got, the less of a fool she'd make of herself. In her heart, the girl held on to a desperate hope that she perhaps wouldn't be the worst one at the grounds. The way her country had deemed it, she was a woman -she couldn't hope to be better than any man at swordplay no matter how hard she trained. In Eldia, she could cook, clean, and look pretty. In her heart though, a weird fire had kindled -almost challenging her to do better than someone.
Iris glanced over her shoulder at Kayde. "Do you think this is the right thing?" she asked.
He answered quickly. "What? Running away from home to pretend to be a soldier -to fight a war? Leaving all the people who care about you behind to worry if you're alive or not? Playacting as a man?" While Kayde's words were unkind, his tone was calm.
Iris scowled, the comment having left a bitter taste in her mouth. "I take it you don't approve."
"I think you're undeniably insane," he answered with a loud laugh. "You have to be. But I don't necessarily disapprove, no. Your intent is honorable even if your execution to begin with was poor."
"Forgive me for not knowing what I'm doing." Iris's tone was biting. Perhaps it was the fatigue, but she hardly took the small criticism well. "This kind of thing is far beyond my area of expertise. I'm doing the best I can for my father. I'm not here to impress you or anyone else, for that matter."
"You can put the claws away, girl, I didn't mean offense," he defended, realizing right away that the lack of sleep was likely to blame for her moodiness. Iris said nothing in return, just nodded in acceptance. She knew right away that she'd probably been in the wrong to snap at him. Even so, she didn't apologize -just decided that she'd channel the rest of that rage into doing something productive.
Kayde let her be.
That day, they traveled through two villages before they stopped to make camp not far from the outskirts of their final destination. In one of the villages, Iris had actually spotted a throng of passing soldiers. They didn't see her, though -or at least, hadn't given her any inclination that they had. That was quite alright with Iris, though. The longer she could go before she had to talk to any other military man... the better.
Iris and Kayde had actually stopped at a small diner to eat dinner at one of them -and dear gods, had it been the best food Iris had ever eaten. Of course, that probably had something to do with the fact that she'd been eating rations for days now. They'd been able to bathe too before they left, which had been equally as heavenly.
That night at camp, Kayde taught Iris more fighting technique -both offensive and defensive, but mostly defensive. She had done well enough for someone with her experience... but she was certainly going to have to work far harder than anyone else was sure to have to.
By the end of the day, Iris was drained of all her energy. Between the rough riding, the exercise, the fighting, and just the stress of her whole situation, Iris was able to fall into a dreamless sleep nearly the instant she crawled into her tent. It was wonderful indeed -yet it was short lived, or so it seemed to her.
Kayde woke her up a little before dawn and far before she was ready to get up. Still, she did as told... nervously readying herself to make her entrance among the soldiers. They ate and sparred for about two hours. Afterward, it was time.
Iris was about to jump on Gretchen one last time before Kayde stopped her. "Wait."
She turned to see him holding out a small, green satchel in her direction. She took it, confused, and he gestured for her to open in. After a couple seconds, she did. Her eyes focused on... what were these? In the bottom of the pouch, she saw a conglomeration of small spheres. They were green and encased in a prickly covering.
"Those are fruits," Kayde answered. "Eat one."
When he noticed her reluctance to do so, he sighed. "None of this will be easy. Quickly, now."
Iris hesitantly took one from the bottom and popped it into her mouth. She chewed it as quickly as she could -prickles and all. It was sour... incredibly sour. The juices and barbs sloshed down her throat in a nasty wad, burning and scratching it all the way down. Kayde just watched her eat it -not able to hide his look of amusement.
"What was that?" Her voice was raspy.
Iris put a hand to her throat upon hearing the way it sounded. Kayde simply nodded in approval, and a moment of understanding passed between the both of them.
"Good," Kayde said. "That should disguise your voice well enough. Try to talk as deep as possible and you should be fine. The scratchiness should characterize it enough for it to sound genuine," he told her. "Now, say something else."
She nodded and spoke again -this time deeper, as he'd instructed. "Like this?" She was surprised at how masculine she sounded.
"Yes," he answered. "Exactly like that." There was a slight pause. "There's one more thing, Iris."
She gestured for him to continue. "And what is that?"
Kayde looked awkward for a moment, his body shifting uncomfortably. "You are a woman. You're going to bleed."
Iris took a breath. "Blood isn't exactly strange in a violent atmosphere."
"It is when it's coming from... well, your feminine area." Kayde's nose twitched, and he held out something to her. Another little bag. "Take this. There are seeds inside. Usually they're brewed with tea to make the taste more tolerable. They're used as one method of preventing child bearing. Sadly, you don't have the luxury of tea here. You're going to have to just eat them and grit your teeth. Usually they're not meant to be taken everyday, but you'll have to take them when you start your bleeding. It should stem the flow of it. Make sure you take them very inconspicuously."
Iris took the seeds, but hesitated. "Is this healthy? I can just..." Now, she was uncomfortable. "I can be super careful with cleaning... myself."
"It can make you sick to your stomach after a long period of time, but it is a natural remedy. It won't hurt your body beyond that," Kayde said. His brow raised. "It's healthier than hanging for treason, I'm certain. If it makes you feel more comfortable, it was my mother's idea. She wouldn't have given me these if she thought they would permanently detriment you. She assures me that you aren't the first woman to use these for this purpose. She suggests though, that you have your cycle whenever you can. So if you feel comfortable with your... cleaning, then just clean. The seeds should make the flow lighter, which will be beneficial."
Iris took a breath. "Your mother knows? About this?"
Kayde nodded. "She does."
Iris took that in stride and shoved the second pouch away. "I'll keep them if I'm in a situation where there isn't another option." She looked away, embarrassed. "But I don't bleed heavily, regardless. I never have. It won't be terribly hard to hide, so long as I'm careful."
"You know your body better than I," Kayde said. "I've only given you an option."
"Well, thanks."
After a slight pause, Kayde spoke again. All he said was, "You are welcome."