Iris took no time in walking out the door herself. The general was walking fast... but she caught up to him and grabbed his shoulder. With all of her strength, she yanked him backwards a little. He seemed surprised by this. At the falter, Iris stepped out in front of the general, blocking his path.
"Zayn," she said, voice as stern as he'd ever heard it, "Why in the hell are you walking away from me like some sort of mad man?"
Iris hoped that no one else would walk by and bear witness to their squabble.
"Because, Iris," he said with a sigh, "I have to go. Our emperor could be in danger. You know this."
"You're giving me nothing but excuses, right now," she pointed out, "I deserve more than excuses. And what's more, if he really is sending out men to capture our leader, then it's going to take at least a good little while to get to Oraborn... more than just a day or two. You have time. Do I not deserve more than this?"
"Please understand, Iris," he whispered, "He could have men already stationed at Oraborn, ready to abduct the emperor. It could have been completed yesterday when I got the letter, for all I know. Hell, maybe even before that. Heaven knows that it would take at least a couple of days for him to deliver that letter to me. Meaning, I really do have to hurry."
"So that's it, then?" Iris looked irritated, "You're shooing me like a fly when the going gets tough? I don't know if you know this, but I'm still the same gods damned person that I was. You let me fight before, I don't see what's changed."
"I know I did," Zayn said, exasperated, "But I won't let you die. I can't. I won't turn a blind eye anymore. I've seen so many people die. I've seen, no let my m..." he paused. "The point is the same. But you --I care for you more than that other rogue. I won't watch you die. It would destroy me."
"You said you needed me. Remember that? You said you needed everyone to get this done," she reminded him.
"Yes. I remember. I really do. But you know what? I need you to live more. Even if you don't want anything to do with me after this, I still need you to live. I need to know that I didn't cause the death of someone I care so much for. And you could die. Hell, I could die. We all could. But if I die at this fortress, then I want to die knowing that you're not dying beside me. I need you to grant me that."
"General," her voice was confident, "Don't you know? If you fail at the fortress, then Eldia may as well be forfeit. We will all become prisoners --maybe even worse. And I would rather die fighting a tyrant than live serving one."
"I'm not your general," he reminded her.
She shot him an annoyed look.
"I won't fail," he promised, "Have faith."
"Like you seem to have faith in me?" she commented, "What makes you so gods damned sure I'm going to die?"
"I'm not. But I refuse to chance it," he said, "I swear that to the gods themselves. To the Mother and the Sun, I swear it. Iris, I have to go. Don't follow me. Just go back to Eda," he walked past her again, "You accomplished what you set out to do. Your father is saved. Don't you want to see him?"
"I do," she admitted, "But I want to help you. And damn it all, I care about you too... but I don't understand you. I don't understand why you would recruit me to this group, continue to tell me how much you need us all or how good of a soldier I am, bring me all the way here, and then just send me packing at the very end. If you were so damned desperate to send me home, then why in all of the hells didn't you do it when you found out?"
"Because," he told her, "Back then, I didn't know there was a chance that the emperor might be there to see us. To see you. Back then, I had no idea Erodyne was watching as closely as he apparently is. Back then, I cared about you as I do for all of my soldiers... but now it's more. I didn't have any of this would happen. But now, now it did. And I'm sorry for that. I can't change it. I've done so much for you, Iris. Any normal general would have had your head immediately for such a lie --for such a betrayal. But me... I didn't. It was because I did believe in you. Don't accuse me for not having faith in what you can do, because I have all the faith in the world in you."
Iris felt a lump in her throat.
"If I go home now, and leave you behind ---leave this behind-- then I will have accomplished nothing. I will have made no difference. I will have to live my entire life knowing that I had a chance to change the world... and I didn't do it," she said, quietly now.
"But you have," he argued, "whether or not the world knows it or not, you've changed everything. No one, not even me, would have ever thought that a woman could bear such courage or skill. No one would have thought a woman would have a strong enough heart to do what you have done. But you have done it. You've proved the world wrong. You've changed the way things are... forever. And it's terrible that you would suffer death and dishonor for letting Eldia know that. But you know what? As much as I hate it, there is absolutely nothing I can do about it."
He paused for a second. "You know what else? After seeing you, I will never ever see a girl the same ever again. I will never believe that she doesn't have the ability to become something great. All because of you. Iris, you've changed my world. And even though my world is smaller than the actual one, it's still worth at least a little," he stopped again, taking a breath and rubbing his temples, "I hate it that it's not enough."
Iris didn't know what to say. Not anymore.
"Give me a minute," was all she could manage. After that, she walked to her room. When she got there ---she did not sit down. She did not cry. She didn't even think. All she did was walk in, grab her satchel, and walk back to where she was just speaking to the general. She was a bit surprised to see that he had stayed.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
She walked up to stand in front of him. What she would do next would be one of the hardest things she would ever do. She, looking him dead in the eyes, began digging through her things. It took a minute for her to find the items that she was looking for.
"Open your hand," she ordered in a blank voice. Confused, he did as told.
With a deep breath, she placed one of the things in his hand. The general looked down to see the little medallion he had given her not too terribly long ago. As he stared at it, he felt something within him shatter. He couldn't force his hand to move --all he could do was look back at her.
As he did, he watched as she dropped something else in his palm. He knew what it was before he could even look at it.
It was the arrow. The one she had retrieved from the post.
"Iris... I can't take these back. These are yours."
She shook her head.
"No, Zayn. They're not mine. Not anymore. I have no use for either of them. If I look at them, they'll only serve as a reminder of what could have been. All they will do is haunt me with the simple fact that I could have been someone. Someone important. And I don't need that kind of reminder..." she said, voice empty of emotion, "If I truly must leave and pretend like it didn't happen, then it's best for everyone that I forget any of this ever happened. Even me."'
And then, she walked away. She didn't even say goodbye.
----
General Zayn met the rest of the soldiers about an hour later. It would have been earlier, but he, against his better judgment, went back to his room for a while. His heart was pounding and his mind was racing from his conversation with Iris. He knew that even though it would delay them, it would definitely be better for everyone in the group if he took time to compose himself and clear his head.
From the way that Iris looked at him in those final moments, he knew that it was quite possible that he would never see her again. Not because he couldn't find where she lived... no. Eda was a small town. All he would have to do to find her was go there and ask around for a little while. That was easy enough. The hard part was her, he seriously doubted that she ever wanted to see him again.
The way she looked at him right before she walked away... it spoke nothing of amnesty. No. In her eyes, there was a blankness -and a sort of coldness- that all but shouted that she would never forgive him.
He knew that even with how she felt about him, the resolution inside of her would never let her forget this. He figured that, with time of not being together, her hurt would fester into resentment, resentment of him.
And that stung. Sharper than any blade.
But... even so, he saw it coming.
Iris was not one to submit, nor convince, easily. If he had learned anything about her in the time they had spent together... it was that she was damned stubborn. A gift and a curse. He wouldn't be in this situation if she were like any other woman. But it was her. Brave and willful. The reason she owned his heart.
Even if the general's chest stung with sadness, he just... he couldn't put her life in danger. She'd already saved his life twice... once because she took an arrow to the gut for him. It was all too close for comfort. He wouldn't chance it again. Even if she would.
He wished that there was some way to guarantee that she would live. It would have given the both of them a way happier ending. But... this was for the best. He hoped to the gods that she would see it in the end. Before rounding the final corner to face the group, he stopped in his tracks and shut his eyes. With a deep breath, he let himself reminisce for a few moments. Not of their final talk, but of her visit.
He knew a storm was coming, so he took a few moments to cherish the few moments of happiness he'd had in a long time. With a sigh, he knew that if he should die at the fortress, at least he got the chance to feel again. Even with everything that had happened at the end, he would always remember this night fondly.
With a sort of small smile, he started for the group once more.
As soon as he was in view of them, they all stood up, ready to go.
"Let's get going," Zayn spoke quickly, "I do not know how much time we have."
"But, general," Shen asked, looking around at everyone, "Don't you think that we should wait for Ingred? He's not here yet."
"That's because he's not coming."
"What?" Ra's voice boomed in surprise, "What do you mean he's not coming? Did he run away?"
"No," Zayn answered, "He didn't run away. Ingred got some very, very bad news today, I'm afraid. News that I'd rather not discuss. All you need to know is that even with the awful thing that happened to him, he still wanted to come with us. Know that it was my choice to send him away. Ingred's going back home."
His words weren't a complete lie. Iris had gotten bad news.
"That's..." Ra cut off, "Well gods damn it. Hope everythin' is okay. I'll miss the little guy.."
"I'm going to miss him too," Zayn told the truth, "Come now, and let us hurry out of here."
And just like that, the final pursuit toward the Token fortress had begun.
----
In the meantime, Iris watched them leave. She was sitting in a nearby tavern, staring out her window at their horses. She couldn't believe she wasn't with them. After all this time, she would not get to see this mission to the end. Gods, what a night. She had not expected a day so full of... extremes.
It wasn't long before she could no longer see the group. Even so, she still gazed out into the streets.
After a while, she was interrupted as someone walked over to her table.
"You need something, missus?" a brawny bartender asked her after a while, "You've been sitting here alone for quite some time now."
She was about to decline, but then thought about it.
"Yeah," she answered, "Ale. Strong ale."
He gave her an incredulous look.
"I didn't think you ladies drank that sort of thing," he commented, "Especially ones as small as you are. Then again, you do look slightly tougher than the usual women I see around here."
"Oh, really?" she asked, half-amused, half-indifferent.
"Yeah," he said, smiling, "Say, where'd you get them daggers of yours? They look high quality, like they would belong to a soldier of the Eldian army rather than, well... a pretty girl like you."
She knew he was trying to compliment her.
"I guess I just kind of happened upon them," she answered, "And thank you."
After that, he kept speaking to her, completely oblivious to the foul mood that she was currently in. "Y'know, speaking of the Eldian army... did you know that the general was just here?" he asked, and then continued without giving her a chance to actually answer him, "Him and his group. I wonder where they're headed to. From what I could tell, it looked like they were headed south, but then again, there's not much south of Wallfront."
"I can imagine," she snorted.
Things went silent for a couple of moments and Iris succumbed back to her thoughts.
"I feel sorry for the man," the bartender said.
"What?" Iris replied, snapping out of her stupor.
"General Zayn. I feel sorry for him," he elaborated, "losing his parents and all of that. Don't know much o' him, but I do know that. His mother passed away when he was adolescent, I've heard. Gods, what a tragic story. I can imagine he blames himself."
Iris's head snapped to him.
"Why would he do that? Why would he blame himself?"
"You must not be from around here," he assumed, "The Rothsteads lived here for a bit when General Zayn's father held the position. Very big socialite, Zayn's mother was. Everyone here knows how Desa Rothstead died."
Silence.
"She was a good woman," he began his story, "My mother knew her well, and I actually met her once. She was here with the former general one night, some years ago. She was a beautiful woman too, with dark hair and smiling eyes. Either way, she actually was attacked. By a couple of wolves, I think. Something of that nature.
Zayn was young --just learning to be a man at the time. He was just learning to wield a sword. His family would take him to the training barracks just north of the city -the ones that border the forest. Anyhow, it was night. Zayn was practicing. He saw the wolves first and chased them down on the night of her death. It was an ambitious thing to do, yes. Foolish, yes. But he was young. Anyways, she saw him leave into the woods. And being the loving mother she was, she got worried and followed him.
She found him with the wolves. He was struggling against them, as he was not yet strong enough to fend them off. She knew that he would die. So, with a sharp rock, she sliced her hand open... and some say it was right to the bone. The blood that poured from the wound -combined with her shouts of pain- was enough to draw them away from the general. They went for her instead. Zayn was barely able to kill them after that... but only because they were distracted by his mother.
But, even then... it was too late. They were both wounded --alone out in the middle of the woods. His mother hurt beyond repair. She passed away before they were found. But... even if there had been healers there at the ready, it would have been too late to save her. She sacrificed herself for him. He knew it."
Iris's eyes went wide.
"You know," the man paused, "Desa bled out in his arms."
"That's..." she didn't know what else to say, "That's terrible."
"Yeah. So... still want that ale?" he asked.
"You know what?" she spoke, standing from her seat, "I actually need to get going. I forgot... there's somewhere I've gotta be."
"Very well," he said, walking away, "Have a good night, miss!"
She hurried out of the bar, heading to Gretchen. She felt terrible for what had happened to his mother. She really did. If that had have been her --gods, she didn't know what she'd do. But... as awful as it was... she finally was able to make sense out of what he had done earlier. Even without asking, Iris knew that this had to be one of the reasons that he wanted her to go home.
"Alright, girl," she rubbed the mare's nose before climbing on, "I gotta be somewhere. And fast. And we can't be seen... by anyone. You're not going to like this, I know. But it's all going to be alright here in a little while, okay?"
Her words faded into the night.
And, with that, she prodded Gretchen's side with her foot. She rode quickly away from the tavern, headed straight for where she was supposed to be.