Chapter 21: Chapter 21

ISABELLE

Izzy ran, not sure where she went in the ship. She took turns blindly, just hoping not to bump into any of the crew as tears streamed from her eyes and her lungs threatened to burst.

She ~burned~ with embarrassment. She’d straddled him and torn his shirt open. She’d wanted him so bad. Wanted him to take her in his arms and lay her down there and then and make passionate love to her.

And he’d rejected her.

~“What you want cannot happen.” ~Those words in his deep sexy voice echoed through her mind. ~I’m not good enough for him. He didn’t want me. I’ve made such a fool of myself. How could you do this to yourself?~

~After Peter stopped caring, stopped touching me, I resigned myself to just being a mom. To being the best mom I could be.~

She turned the corner and kept running, barely noticing the walls changed color to a deep orange with stripes of bare gray metal.

~I thought that if I could be a great mother to our kids, he’d come back to me. Love me for me and realize what he was doing.~

Her feet slapped loudly on the deck as she came to a heavy-looking door that cycled open as she approached.

It led to a walkway, and beyond the red balustrade, she saw a huge room, easily five stories high, with a giant glowing machine in the middle, connected to floor and ceiling by pipes and wiring.

She stopped, taking huge breaths and holding onto the railing.

~But he started having affairs, and I felt even more alone. Trapped by a mortgage and by my love for the boys, in a loveless relationship. I tried to keep it from the boys, how unhappy I felt with their father away all the time.~

Izzy sank to her knees, feeling the cold metal on her skin. ~I finally wanted something for me, after all this time. To feel loved by a man who cared about me, and Mikhlas rejected me.~

~What’s wrong with me?~

~“I don’t think anything is wrong with you, otherwise you would not be chosen by the Sentinels.”~

~What the fuck?~ Izzy looked around in panic as the strange voice in her head spoke to her. It didn’t even sound like someone she recognized. The voice sounded smooth and feminine, with a high childlike pitch.

~“I apologize, Dakira Izzy. I could not help but overhear you. Your mental projection is quite loud in your distressed state.”~

“Where are you?” Izzy said, rising to her feet.

~“Down here.”~

She looked over the balustrade and saw the gray-skinned alien with the huge black eyes standing in front of the machine with a handheld device in its long fingers and racked her fuddled wits for a name.

~“Miran, Dakira. My name is Miran.”~

“Can you get out of my head, please?”

Miran nodded her huge head at Izzy before raising one hand and waving for her to come down.

Izzy wiped her face. She felt tempted to just turn around and leave by the door she’d entered, but the soft voice sounded compassionate in her head. She needed some compassion right now.

Izzy made her way down the wide ramp, nervously approaching the alien and stopping a few feet away. “You heard what I was thinking?”

Miran shrugged, a long slow movement with barely any shoulder.

“Can you only speak in my head?”

Miran’s hand gracefully tapped out a sequence on the device in her hand before a voice sounding remarkably familiar to the one she’d heard telepathically sounded.

“To speak directly to you, yes, but I can use this device to simulate my voice.”

There was a pause before the long-fingered hand caressed the tablet again.

“If you will forgive me, Dakira, I hear many things aboard this ship. Many things that my crewmates would prefer to remain private. I shall not speak of what I overheard.”

Izzy sighed in relief. “Thank you, Miran.” She looked around at the huge machine, wondering about its function. “Where am I, anyway?”

“Engine room. I feel peckish.”

“I’m sorry? What?”

“My species feeds on weak electrical current. By just standing in this room, I gather sustenance.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Such was not always the way. You see, my species evolved outside the Realm. We hunted other creatures who possessed dense electrical output, whether those species were sapient or not.”

“You hunted?”

“Yes. I am quite unusual for a crew member on a Fleet vessel because of this. Many species still remember when my kind was ruled by their appetites and harbor a lingering apprehension.

“Captain Mikhlas gave me the opportunity, so I feel emotionally beholden to him. I know from what I’ve overheard this concerns him.

“You can speak to me more about your problem if you wish, Dakira Izzy. I am the communications officer aboard ship.

“Ironic, isn’t it? A communications officer who cannot communicate verbally except through a machine. I talk to many different people. Perhaps I can help?”

Izzy looked at the shining black eyes. With no irises and limited facial expression, it was impossible to tell if Miran was genuine in her offer, but she felt like she needed to speak with someone.

Izzy looked around and saw some metal crates sitting up against one wall that would make a usable seat.

“Can we sit down first?”

“Please do, if it makes you feel more comfortable, but I shall remain standing to absorb more current. It is not a good idea for me to sit next to you on a conductive surface, at any rate.”

Izzy raised a questioning eyebrow.

“My species hunts with an electrical shock delivered through our skin. Many eons ago, we hunted all creatures to feed on their bioelectrical impulses.

“Most creatures have a unique flavor, and my kind seeks variety in all things. I wouldn’t want to ‘taste’ you. It would be poor manners.”

“So, you heard what I was thinking before?” she said, settling herself onto the crate.

“Yes, but I am unsure what the captain did for you to feel such strong emotions.”

Izzy blushed, averting her eyes from Miran’s shining black ones. “I... it’s embarrassing.”

“I see. An emotion I am largely unfamiliar with. Yet your mental projection indicated a high level of stress. Is embarrassment in your species sufficient to cause such an extreme reaction?”

Izzy shook her head and then wondered if her meaning would be understood. “I suppose not. It’s complicated,” she said.

“I think I am missing something here. It’s been my experience when other races do not wish to communicate regarding something that impacts their calm state, it frequently relates to sexual activity.

“From your thoughts before, I assume your embarrassment relates to the mammalian breeding instinct, and that the captain is somehow involved?”

Izzy didn’t want to answer the question and tried to think of a way to deflect it. “Your species does not breed?”

Miran did another slow shrug. “Our species does not feel the same biological imperatives. As I understand it, mammalian coupling can be very pleasurable.

“It frequently is used as a method of bonding between couples, not just for procreation. With our species this is not the case, so coupling and procreation is a far more deliberate choice,” Miran tilted her large head.

“Does your issue arise from a difference in physiology? Did the captain hurt you because of his physical stature?”

Izzy felt the heat in her face intensify. “No, we didn’t... couple. I... offered, and he rejected me.”

“I think I understand. You believe his rejection is based upon a lack of reciprocal feelings, which you were expecting.”

Izzy nodded, looking away.

“Have you considered his actions may be driven by other factors?”

“What?”

“You expressed that you did not feel you were good enough for him, which is illogical to the point of ridiculous. He would feel the same, but he is not being illogical.

“You are to be the Queen of the Realm. The captain, for all his good points, holds no political advantage, vast wealth, or meritorious fame for his actions, beyond a reputation as a very dangerous man.

“You are far above his station. A match that he could never hope for, nor is legally entitled to pursue.”

“Legally entitled?”

“Yes. Officers of the Fleet are forbidden to form relationships by law. If he pursued a relationship with the future queen, well, the reaction from the Fleet would be... severe.”

Izzy frowned, musing over Miran’s words. “What would you recommend I do?”

“Dakira, I think I am the wrong one to ask. You feel emotionally injured by the captain—” Miran stopped, looking up. “Your teenage offspring is eavesdropping on us,” she stated.

“James?” She got off the crate and stepped out toward the large engine, looking up at the balustrade. “James Arthur Moss, get your butt down here right now.”

Sheepishly, James poked his head out over the balustrade.

“Right now, mister!”

He ducked back and she heard his soft footfalls on the ramp. As he turned the corner, his eyes locked to hers.

“You’ve been crying,” he said. “What—”

“Stop. How much did you overhear?” she demanded.

Miran waved a gray-skinned limb to gain their attention before touching the tablet in her hand. “I shall leave you to speak with your progeny.” That said, Miran moved away, her gait smooth and unhurried.

Izzy turned back to James, who stood with his shoulders slouched and his eyes on the ground. “Answer me, James. How long have you been up there?”

James raised his eyes to meet hers, the corners welling up. “Long enough,” he mumbled.

Izzy took a deep calming breath. “James,” she said, looking at the way he stood. ~That slouch of his is pure rebellious teenager.~ “I know we haven’t spoken much about…your dad.”

“Don’t call him that.”

Izzy closed her mouth and frowned. “Okay, what would you like me to call him?”

James shrugged. “Anything but that. He stopped being my father when…you know.”

“Sit with me, James.” She led him back to the crates and looked up at him as they both sat.

~He’s getting so tall now. I keep forgetting he’s not a little boy anymore.~

Her fingers twitched to straighten his hair, and she suppressed the urge folding her hands in her lap. “I know you feel angry about what happened—”

“Shouldn’t I be? Aren’t I supposed to be angry at him after he beat the shit out of you and tried to kill you?”

“James—”

“And now there’s the freak, and you…and he hurt you!”

“James—”

“I can’t lose you, Mom! I just can’t.”

At his outburst, Izzy just held his gaze, giving him a small smile. “I know, James. Yet what concerns me is why you’re so angry. You’ve been angry since it happened, and James, it’s not your fault.”

“Yes, it is,” James said, a tear rolling down his face. “I told you I saw him that day. I’m not stupid, Mom. You confronted him about his affairs because I saw it.

“You sent Lucas and me to Grandma’s so we wouldn’t have to see the two of you fighting. I wasn’t there, Mom. I wasn’t there to help you and protect you.”

“Well, I’m here now, and no one is going to hurt you like that again,” he said with a fierce note in his voice she’d never heard before.

She reached out her hand and gently touched the sudden fist he’d made.

“It’s not your fault, James. You are not to blame for that. As for what you heard, Mikhlas hurt my feelings, James, that’s all,” she said, looking deeply into his eyes.

“I think I just did something stupid. People, even aliens, it seems, are messy and complicated.”

Miran’s words crossed her mind, and she realized what the telepath meant. ~How much easier would it be to see someone else’s point of view if you could read their mind?~ she thought.

“Living in our own heads, we don’t see things from other points of view. We miscommunicate or misunderstand, and people get their feelings hurt.

“The only way out of that is trust, and I trust Mikhlas enough to realize he didn’t ~intend~ to hurt my feelings.

“I don’t want you to be angry all the time, darling, or feel like you have to protect me. I’m the parent, I’m supposed to protect you.”

“Does that mean you’re going to give Mikhlas another chance?” James said. “What if he hurts you again?”

She shrugged. “That’s life, James. If you don’t try, you’ll never do anything. You can’t swaddle all your emotions away and never trust anyone. You have to try and live as best you can, without fear.

“I don’t know how I feel about Mikhlas. Messy and complicated, remember? And it must be a bit of a shock for you to think of me with someone else.”

“Eww, Mom.”

“But, your…Peter and I, it was fear that kept me from leaving with you and Lucas years ago, when I should have. It is your fear that I could have died that is making you so angry.

“You can’t let fear rule your life and make you afraid to live.” Izzy sniffed and wiped her eyes.

“Or your fear will make you go running off like a crazy rabbit when someone hurts your feelings, or will turn you into someone you’re not meant to be.”

James nodded before pulling her into a hug. “I get it. I’ll try. I love you, Mom.”

Izzy started crying again, but this time they were happy tears.

MIKHLAS

“How long until the next jump?” Silian asked.

“Nothing is holding us back. Engine readouts give us a comfortable margin for the next jump. We can leave at any time,” Mikhlas replied.

“What are we waiting for, then?”

“Dakira Izzy is not in her room. Prime tells me she is in the engine room talking with Prince James. We will wait until they are finished and return to their respective rooms, and then make the jump.”

~And hopefully she will see my message and forgive me, or this will be the worst three days of my life.~ He felt so tired now and rubbed his eyes.

When he took his fingers away, he saw the expression on Silian’s face. He knew his First’s last rest was days ago, yet he seemed energized and alert.

~And he’s smiling.~ It was rare to see a smile on Silian’s face, and Mikhlas knew that only a woman could put a smile like that on the man’s face.

He knew this because he had caught himself with the same smile not so long ago. Silian sat down in his seat next to Mikhlas and looked at the screen. Mikhlas stared at the side of his face, waiting.

“Is there something you wish to know, Captain?” Silian asked, looking at him. Mikhlas raised an eyebrow to him and smiled.

“Is there something you wish to tell me?”

Silian rolled his eyes, pitching his voice below audible level so they communicated in private. “I should ask you the same thing, brother. I am not the one putting my life at risk,” Silian said.

Mikhlas couldn’t deny that Silian had a point. Amy was a guest to the Realm. Even though Silian could only spend one night with her, she was not out of bounds.

“You need not worry about that. I will not do anything that would put this crew at risk,” Mikhlas said.

“It had to be the queen, didn’t it?” Silian asked, shaking his head with a wry smile.

“So, are you going to tell me what happened with Amy?” Mikhlas asked.

“Nothing yet, but…” Silian looked at him, his eyes unreadable. “But I have hope. It’s a strange feeling.”

Mikhlas understood. Silian wanted Amy in a way he thought he could never have. ~And given she is a close personal friend of the queen; Izzy might change the laws so they can be together.~

“Silian, that could all change soon. Do not give up,” Mikhlas said.

He knew how the man felt. He felt it too.

~Only my problem is much worse. Even if Izzy changed the laws, she’s the queen, and I’m a nobody.~ ~The court and the Sentinels will never allow someone like me to be the new King. I am just a captain on one ship.~

He turned back to the screen and tapped at it. He was built to fight, and not much else.

~That’s all my life has ever been, one long battle.~ Even the mere thought of having a sliver of a chance, made his heart race. ~I hope she can forgive me. I hope she does choose me to be her King, despite the risk.~

“Captain, Dakira Izzy and Prince James have returned to their quarters,” Prime announced.

“Begin jump procedures,” he commanded.

“Aye, Captain.”

As the bridge bustled with activity, he knew this jump would be the longest, out to the famed Great Nebula and Kokara Station, slightly more than halfway back to Homeworld in a single jump.

“Captain.”

“Yes, Prime?”

“I’ve just received a data package from Commander Remkin for you.”

“Halt the jump.” He stood and walked to the communications station. “Patch it through.”

The long, pale face of Commander Remkin appeared on the screen. The man looked tired, as if he’d slept poorly, yet that didn’t stop the authority in his voice from coming through.

“Captain Mikhlas, things have deteriorated in the Realm. Governor Bala has not turned up, and an assassin was caught and killed this morning attempting to kill Governor Jole.

“The nobility is in disarray, with the noble houses retiring to their enclaves and fortifying themselves in. The Realm is threatening to rip itself in half, and I don’t know who I can trust.”

Remkin sighed and looked serious, his eyes tinged with red.

“The Realm needs the queen more than ever, but I cannot track down who is responsible. You are the best captain I have, and the only one I can trust. Your next jump will take you within sub-light of Arkadia.

“Go to the capital and find Vayth, Morkai’s head priest, at the battle zone and determine whether Governor Bala still lives. These old priests have strange powers, Captain. He might be able to tell you who is behind all this.”

The screen blacked out, and Mikhlas sat back in shock. ~Take the queen to Arkadia? Has he gone mad?~